Wonkette
Once upon a time when people played poker and they came across somebody who lost very large and predictable amounts at the table, other players would say, “I’d like to get you on a slow boat to China,” so that this loser could continue to shed large amounts of cash for a long period of time. You see how this all relates to the prolonged and expensive death of the McCain campaign? Good.
Mike Murphy was the last sane human adviser to John McCain, so of course he did not work for him during WALNUTS!’s shameful general-election run. Now that the whole terrible sham is over, Murphy has stowed away in some kind of packing container and headed for Shanghai:
I’m sailing by container ship to Shanghai. The Hanjin Miami, see below. Good way to get away from politics under the new overlords and finish a script I owe. And I’ve always wanted to cross the Pacific ocean by ship.
With luck… maybe a pirate attack. I’m doing a TIME piece on the trip, so please, tell any pirates you might know to attack. I need something to happen.
He will return in six months, beset by pirates, and then he will be really sorry he did not eat more ribs with John McCain.
The four winds [Ben Smith]
So this makes the 2nd post this morning about anal sex.
These fucking pirates are everywhere now.
…I think we just got a sneak preview of the next episode of “Lost”.
It’s all pirates and hobos these days…
Who does he think he is? Jim Hawkins?
…And he will emerge as King of the Pirates (AKA Nobama’s army) to enslave the human race into hand-writing the entire Koran over and over in sweatshops all 36 hours of the day.
I’m giving him three days before the crew throws him overboard for playing that “Wildfire” song over and over again on the piano in the lounge.
Monkey: In other words, the old Wonkette is back.
ManchuCandidate: Does that make Walnuts the crazy drunken old man who gave Jim the map?
Or are we talking about the Muppet version. Cause then McCain would be the Fozzy Bear character who thought a little man was living in his thumb.
lenorecutie: And Sarah Palin is the Swedish Chef.
“With luck… maybe a pirate attack.”
Very right wing, isn’t it? “We need to be attacked - it will be fun! With any luck I’ll be able to sell the fictionalized account as history, leading to money & power for me and all my pals! There’ll be no real danger - with Jack Bauer on on side, and Dick Cheney on the other, we’ll smash the criminal foreigners and show ‘em who’s boss.”
He’d be better off getting attacked and killed by pirates on the way. I’ve heard from a credible source that Shanghai is a fucking awful city.
Chow!
Speaking of right wing creeps (another bad segue), Ann Coulter has had her jaw wired shut. Insert your own tasteless joke…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/25/ann-coulters-jaw-wired-sh_n_146248.html
A container ship? TO SHANGHAI? Thats going to take at least 6 weeks. how long will it be before the crew resort to homosexuality? the only pirates hes going to run into are butt pirates.
I’m envisioning a pirate attack like the one in The Life Aquatic, but with the addition of JetNutz!, with Murphy as the Steve Zissou.
SayItWithWookies: Tramp Steamers don’t have lounges. They have Merchant Marine semen.
stew: I read that too, do you think it’s true? If so, it’s hideously ironic-and deserved.
Jesus, some people will do anything to get away from Joe Klein.
stew:
I don’t think any segue at all is necessary for that kind of good news.
Since pirates are the ultimate venture capitalists, I’m sure they will be happy to know
exactly what ship Murphy is on, and seek his sage investment advice. Since the ship is going
to Shanghai, the only thing that will be on it will be bad mortgages. The real question is,
if pirates do take over the ship, who will pay any ransom to get that useless piece of shit
back?
MARCdMan: I’m getting all nostalgic and whatnot.
They’re shipping all the sane Republicans overseas for cryogenic storage. In a few decades when the GOP has finally realized that they want to appeal to people outside of fundamentalist circles, they’ll be unfrozen and allowed to speak without fear of accusations of Obama tank residence.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
We can only hope Mike get’s his wish. He probably thinks Johnny Depp will be his pirate vindicator.
I cannot BEGIN to understand Republican secks fantasies. They are a mystery, thankfully unsolved.
The pirates, from China, will stop his boat, then sink him by unloading 10,000 unwanted copies of Axl Rose’s new CD.
Yea Mike, you all have such important work on that ship. So uh, how’s, uh, is That Script You’ve Been Working On?
Bah, in my day, if you didn’t get attacked by pirates you pretended you did and made it all up. Then you wrote a Pulitzer piece about it. These whippersnappers have no imagination.
Container ship TO Shanghai?
The cargo must be empty containers.
stew: If it’s not about her windpipe being wired shut, I don’t want to read it. …is that bad?
Maybe the piraticals will hold him prisoner for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!
lenorecutie: Heh. My all time favorite Tim Curry movie.
stew: Hamster: Without clicking that link about Coulter, I’m guessing the getting-the-jaw-wired-shut business is an extreme diet technique, because, lets face it, she’s been looking kinda porky lately.
Lascauxcaveman: I was thinking someone went after Bush’s junk with a tire iron.