Wonkette
Well, this is rich: Of the 14 convicted criminals pardoned by still-president George W. Bush today, one of them got in trouble for poisoning American Bald Eagles: “Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Mo., who pleaded guilty in 1995 to unlawfully killing three bald eagles in southeast Missouri.”
According to AP, Collier “was convicted for unauthorized use of a pesticide and violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act, was sentenced Feb. 2, 1996 in the Eastern District of Missouri.” So yeah, pardon that dude, quick! The Republicans just barely won Missouri this year, so it’s important to lock up the rest of the bald-eagle-hating vote.
Everybody else who got pardoned or released from prison was some kind of coke dealer who Bush knew “back in the day.”
Bush pardons 14 and commutes 2 prison sentences [Associated Press]
Such a strange list. Weed, blow, weed, blow, stealing government property, lots of running away with other folks moneys (tax fraud, embezzlement etc).
It is an enlightening list, though. I, for one, had no idea you could be charged with “Illegal use of a telephone” in the course of your drug trafficking.
SEND A TELEGRAM, DOPE FIENDS.
What what WHAAAAAAAAT?!?
Stephen Colbert is going to shit a brick! Why not issue a blanket pardon for bears while you’re at it?
William Hoyle McCright Jr. of Midland, Texas, who was convicted of bank fraud.
I’ll be he and Dubya go waaaay back. Oh hey, remember when people used to steal from banks? Those were the days.
So can we shoot bald eagles from helicopters now, or do we have to wait for 2012?
Benjamin Franklin thought the bald eagle was an unfitting symbol of the U.S. because it was a coward and of bad moral character. He once sarcastically suggested that the turkey would make a more fitting symbol because it was braver, though the turkeys didn’t put up much of a fight in the Sarah Palin video.
Yeah, but those eagles were fucking asking for it.
Alright, so the bald eagle is off limits except to the Elitist from, umm, Missouri. How about the Giant Panda? Can I beat the shit out of that thing? It is not, after all, a national treasure of any kind, so I figure it’s fair game.
I’ll leave that to the jury. Fuck you, Giant Panda. Tonight you shall roast over my open flame.
Bush’s love for the symbol of this great nation s eclipsed only by his hatred of the endangered species act.
Jeez Louise. Thank God there weren’t any ivory poachers in Texas.
In all fairness, the dude was aiming for Harry Whittington all three times.
Memo to David Addington and John Yu: Snort a few lines and go whack some bald eagles this Thanksgiving.
Pesticide Murkans are people, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRguZr0xCOc
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shortsshortsshorts: Don’t you EVER fucking touch Butterstick.
Strangely enough, they used the same poison that Bush used on Ashcroft to get him out of Justice.
Let the eagle soar, indeed.
Hey look — it’s our friends at TruckNutztheParty.com: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/24/AR2008112403004.html?hpid=artslot
They’ve got a great idea to fix the Republicans — they’re going to use the internets!
SayItWithWookies: The comments section cries for the kind of love only Wonkette can deliver.
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Even worse, while Bush was announcing the pardons, some dude was slaughtering eagles in the background. On the plus side, eagles go well with cranberry sauce.
Bush has given up pretending not to hate America?
Maybe Bush is the only one who knows the bald eagle killer guy was also a coke dealer, and just trying to keep birdwatchers away.
I’m using all in my arsenal of miracle powers to make sure Bush’s paperwork pardoning Cheney on 1/19 has errors in the paperwork.
Just in case: Cheney Voodoo Doll, do your thang!
SayItWithWookies:
“Some of these blogs didn’t know what to make of the Paulites”…
Bah! It’s Paultards. Paul-TARDS, people. Grow a pair of TRUCKNUTZ, and print it right, their delicate feelings be damned.
Weeping Jesus: That’s a good point. Are the pardons still valid if Bush misspells his name?
Finally, Missouri regains it’s status as a Bellweather state! (of the crap pardons we’re to be forced to watch in horrifying agony)
Anonymous Office Zombie: I was surprised by that too. Now Ron Paul, noted world savior ™ is going to think there’s a mineral named after him.
ifthethunderdontgetya: I wonder if it’s disconcerting to be stalked by trolls. Unfortunately, WaPo is pretty good about policing their comments, but we’ll see.
SayItWithWookies: As far as I am concerned, WIN!!!
SayItWithWookies: thanks, that just made me want to create another soon-to-be inappropriate idea:
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/78585
You made the Baby Jesus Eagle CRY, Dubya!
There’s nuthin more murkan than kippered Bald Eagle jerky.
You fucking people don’t even recognize fatsecks.
Now, if he were to pardon Mumia, there’d be a lot of confused hippies out there.
Ok, Sadly, No has brought teh lulz on this one. That’s damn fine work gentlemen.
Eagles are known to attack MSM reporters.
On the other hand, Scottish Terriers too. Barney will not sleep well tonight. George, you bastard.
At Laura’s request, a hip-hop singer, someone she hardly knows except for one wild night in San Antone: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/25/washington/25pardons.html?hp
All the pardons appear to be “real” Americans from Bitterville, Bitterburg, and Bittertown, USA.
Nary a one from NY, NJ, or New England…
Did he stuff the eagles? Or just eat them?
Am I still banned?
Seriously, 12 years for poisoning a bird?
I feel weird championing a Bush activity but christ how long was dude’s original sentence?
Judging by the list, Bush’s post presidency is going to be hella fun.
Free Leonard Peltier.
Y’awl wouldn’t be havin’ this conversation, …sept fer sum Flurida cracker named, “Chad”.
I appreciate the AP’s google maps tack to show me where D.C. is located.
Serious question…
Can you pardon yourself? I mean, I highly doubt anyone would have thought a future president would do such a thing, so I can’t believe it’s not possible…
Stay classy, George!
Oooh, he didn’t just poison a bald eagle or two or three. Dude put out poisoned meat and was a one man, indiscriminate wildlife killing machine.
I bet he either lives in a run down trailer or shack and was thinking of innovative ways to stop those damn high school boys from knocking down his mailbox.
The Chinese needed the bald eagle feathers for their badminton birdies.
Johnny Zhivago: No. However, Bush can pardon Dick Cheney, then resign on January 20th at 11am, swear Cheney in and he can pardon Dubya.
But that would only take place in the unlikely circumstance that each one of them believed he had broken the law.
What I wonder is how those dealers are going to have any credibility on the street after they’ve been “pardoned” by W.
To be fair, the man was attempting to poison coyotes via the Raw Hamburger of the Borgias. I don’t think he’s been in the slammer since ‘96. According to here, punishment was:
“Received two years probation, $10,000 in restitution”
The funny thing is W just couldn’t hear what those people were saying. He though that by “pardoning” them, they’d speak up while repeating themselves.
Three bald eagles. That is what I call a weekend bender. I don’t think he’s getting enough credit though. He killed all sorts of animals my tossing around pesticide laced hamburger. But he only gets tagged for the bald eagles. Can’t a man get some credit for killing some coyotes?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
SayItWithWookies: Can you imagine how many things that already say “Barack Obama, the 44th President” would have to be re-printed if they did that?
CivicHoliday: I am so quoting you everywhere.
Darehead: Agreed. I was going to write him a letter asking him to pardon Peltier. The FBI would be pissed but Dubya hates them anyway.
Looks like there was extra symbolism and irony left over from the WaPo Citigroup story. Someone had to use it up.
A true Republican Thanksgiving:
Roasted Bald Eagle with Mountain Gorilla’s lip and cornbread stuffing with Blue Whale gravy
Stewed Golden Lion Tamarins in a black truffle sauce
Sandhill Crane - California Condor hash with a side of Slickspot Peppergrass
Giant Panda haunch with a couis of sea otter
and black abalone stuffed with Gouldian Finches wrapped in philo dough.
Apple pie and black coffee
I’m not sure how they are going to explain the Internets to the Republicans. Better make sure they understand about the cup-holder first.
Michelle Bachmann investigated the eagles and….well…anti-American, ya know?
IonaTrailer: Are you referring to Sean Hannity, the official cup-holder of the Republican party?
Please insert photoshop of Bush putting a bald eagle into the death funnel.
From the WaPo article on the pardons:
“No one who received clemency yesterday approached that level of national renown. But because of Bush’s actions, Grammy Award-winning rap artist John E. Forte of North Brunswick, N.J., will be released after serving about half of a 14-year sentence for aiding and abetting possession with intent to distribute cocaine. Forte, whose clemency bid was supported by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), has been scheduled for release Dec. 22. He had performed with the Fugees and is a friend of and former backup singer for Carly Simon, who lobbied senior lawmakers, including Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.), for his early release.”
Bush pardoned a rapper?
Carly Simon is tight with a rapper?
Orrin Hatch is friends with a rapper?
Why does this seem odd to me?