DRAMATIC IRONY, SPECIFICALLY: We saw this tease on the Washington Post website’s front page fifteen minutes ago and are mentally and physically unable to click through. The headline and subhead have transfixed us with this weird numbing sensation. “Symbolism” and “irony” and “Too big to succeed”! How do these fantastical terms and wordplays relate to giving this huge company a bunch of $$$? We must click to find out! Wait. No! We musn’t. It’s better this way, just knowing that the symbolism and irony are out there, somewhere. [WP]
...GO ON? 8:11 pm November 24, 2008
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 34 comments }
Then it’s too big to live! Starve it or kill it.
Ummm…does this mean I can quit paying my Citibank Visa bill? Or maybe I should be maxing it out & then refusing to pay saying I’m waiting on my government bail out.
Uh, Jim, didja register for access to WaPo articles? I know they put your name in Phil Graham’s crypt and list you with Carl Bernstein’s Red Diaper Baby Klub when you do, but for this one time, it might be worth it. Still doesn’t clarify the headline–according to The Onion, irony died right after 9/11.
[re=185158]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: If you pay for gas with your Citibank card, then stop paying your Citibank bill, you can help bring the subprime credit crunch terror to Saudi.
Like rain on your fucking wedding day, Newell.
[re=185158]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Hell, I think I’ll call them up and offer to buy my mortgage back at twenty cents on the dollar. They might take it, too, what with the Christmas bonus fund being almost empty and all.
Sorry for being serious, but the author has a point. From the article: The promised economies of scale had been overhyped, the synergies across business lines had never developed and the cultures and systems of the various parts had never meshed. The whole thing was simply too big and too complex to be managed.
The same comment could be made about the USA as a whole. Just sayin’.
When are the fashion stylists’ assistants going to get their bailouts? Do you know how much it costs to stockpile backup outfits from H&M on a Discover card these days?
how come theres’s nothing about my sarah in this article.
can i haz some more sarah, also?
Does symbolism and irony mean fraud and theft? Paulson looked like a beaten dog on meth today. Bush was assholier-than-thou as he hasn’t been in a long time. I can’t help but think that something extremely evil happened over the weekend.
[re=185168]tsunami[/re]: Here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/SaraBenincasa
Today, we are all Irony.
*Insert lame bad examples from Alanis Morrisette song from the late 90′s here.
Iz like RAAAAIIIN, on yer weddin’ day, iz a free riiide, that you already paid, its the guud advize, that yoo jus cont take, onn whoo wuud ‘av tought, it figuurs!!!!
It will just not fit in all available orifices…a victim of its own gigantism and acromegaly
“If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.”
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Spider_Robinson
[re=185163]paolaccio[/re]: YOU BEAT ME TO THE LOW FRUIT. I know people, Mr. Paolaccio.
(That is a completely objective statement. I do in fact “know people” but that is in no way a threat to you. I’m worried about Jim reporting me the Feds over the recent suicide of some depressed young boy over the interwebs. I will now put this disclaimer into every comment, ever, forever. I think it is quite a good one, HEENNGGHHH??)
and these people, they know goats?
I wonder what Anisette Noisette would have thought of this advice from Joey.
Joey: You want my advice?
Ross: Yes! Please!
Joey: You’re not gonna like it.
Ross: That’s okay.
Joey: You got married too fast.
Ross: That’s not advice!
Joey: I told ya.
Poor Katherine Graham.
Then again, it’s her own fault for having that stupid rich kid for a son.
~
The poor people of Citigroup are almost as deserving as the “Big Three” A**holes, I mean Automakers.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
[re=185182]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I, for one, welcome our new ironic overlords.
Wait, was that actually sarcasm?
I think it’s symbolic of something. Much like this depression, it’s going to be long and hard.
[re=185206]WABishop[/re]: T’was IRON IK.
Who knows, all I know is it is irony for one of us Wonkette people to be getting laid on a Monday night, unless Lex Luther’s penis has started making comments.
[re=185182]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That’s not irony. It’s fucking retarded.
[re=185182]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That song is quite possibly the best excuse yet to nuke Canada.
[re=185182]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: [re=185163]paolaccio[/re]: SING IN ROWS. *fistshake*
[re=185218]Jim Newell[/re]: You fucking asshole. You seem to WIN. AGAIN.
I’ll have my cake, Newell. Just you wait.
[re=185199]wickedlittledoll[/re]: Do people really just click blindly on whatever link is in someone’s comment?
http://www.meatspin.com/
[re=185227]tunamelt[/re]: While I don’t click blindly, now I am blind. You just beat Jim. Congrats. You are the unofficial queen of Wonkette.
Too big to succeed — perhaps this has been my problem all along.
[re=185187]psychedelicSludge[/re]: Exactly. The point of the article is that the architects of our economic meltdown will now be in charge of its reconstruction.
See? It’s good to have people with experience, innit?
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601068&sid=a3KdFQhav1Q8&refer=home
“Taxpayers are likely to be at greater risk from the new template, which may be used to help more companies [like Citigroup] as debt writedowns continue to climb, analysts said.”
********
Thank you, Beelzebub and all his little demons, my credit card debt is safe.
[re=185165]Aurelio[/re]: Pearlstein has been great throughout this fiasco. His columns have been dead on and he has had some very good suggestions. But that and $2.50 will get him a cup of coffee, because no one in power seems to be taking his advice.
Y’all have had your brains boiled by Bailout Fever. Boiled to soup.
I tell you, it’s the duty of the American taxpayer to save these millionaires from self-generated utter ruin so they may continue to lord it over us. When they ruin themselves *again* in the future we can feign shock and surprise and take bets (in hobobucks) as to how much it will cost us this time.
[re=185235]Aurelio[/re]: Experience allows you to recognize a mistake after you make it the second time.
I got a letter from Citi telling me the interest rate on my credit card is going to be 18%, up from 12%. I have a friend whose rate went to 28% from 22%
I have ran out of orifices to be fucked from.
I hate America.
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