TURKEYDEATHGATE  6:30 pm November 24, 2008

Oddly Endurant Sarah Palin/Turkey Slaughter Story Takes New Twist

by Jim Newell

That funny but completely unimportant thing from last week in which Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey and then gave a teevee interview with a turkey being sliced ‘n’ diced in the background… well the American people are intent to know as much as possible about it! Early reports suggested that Palin was aware before the interview started that the bloodbath would be in the camera shot, and she was cool with that. Over the weekend, however, a Palin spokesperson told the legendary muckrakers at Entertainment Tonight that Palin had no idea about the savagery behind her, and that the in-the-tank cameraman included it in spite of her staff’s orders not to do so. Hmm. It appears that, for the first time ever, a story about Sarah Palin offers fully contradictory recollections from opposing sides.

Here’s the initial story, as told by that Alaskan blogger at Mudflats whom everyone loved for a few months:

Scott Jensen is the one who filmed the scene. He’s local station KTUU’s award winning chief photographer. He told CC from KUDO radio yesterday that Sarah Palin, who was standing next to her personal assistant throughout the entire interview, chose the spot on which she stood for the “turkey slaughter interview” that quickly went viral on the internet, and received wide coverage in the news media. The turkey slaughter was already underway when the governor chose the spot. The photographer pointed out what was going on and asked her if she wanted to move. She said, “No worries.”

So what he’s saying is that Scott Jensen is a liberal. Surprise, surprise. What’s the real story now, Palin spokesperson?

“The [Alaska] governor did not know it was going on behind her,” Palin’s spokesperson tells ET of the reportedly grisly scene at Triple D Farm & Hatchery outside Wasilla. Cameras captured Palin extending the annual Thanksgiving pardon to one turkey while a farm hand slaughtered the bird’s feathered friends in the background.

Palin’s spokesperson tells ET the bird butchering wasn’t going on when the shot was set up, and a cameraman “ignored” the governor’s staff’s request to remove the graphic sight once cameras were rolling.

“We’re unhappy about it and the station is not happy either,” Palin’s rep tells ET, adding, “this was an attempt to lighten up and do something non-controversial.”

Typical gotcha journalistic media situation, here.

But really, why is the Palin team telling lies about this, thus prolonging it? No one actually cared, and no humans, excepting vegans and vegetarians and other assorted hippies, should be shocked by the sight of an animal being killed so that they might eat it later. It was simply that she pardoned a turkey and then babbled for several minutes to the teevee while a turkey was meeting its maker in the background. This is called irony. Harmless humor is frequently derived from it. But now she is hilariously covering it up, and when anything is covered up, it becomes a scandal.

Please, never leave us, Bible Spice.

Turkey Gate — The Fiasco That Won’t Die [Mudflats]
Sarah Palin Responds To The Turkey Pardon Controversy [ET]
via Andrew Sullivan

Related video

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DangerousLiberal November 24, 2008 at 6:36 pm

One wonders, at times like these, who the turkey really is.

V572625694 November 24, 2008 at 6:37 pm

“Entertainment Tonight” — teevee’s answer to the Drudge Report.

Keram2 November 24, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Sarah, babycakes — can I call you babycakes? — don’t pull this bullshit. You HAVE to be able know what’s going on behind you. Looking backwards isn’t hard. Fucking Owls can look at things going on behind them. Owls! So can you.

SayItWithWookies November 24, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Also, that pardoned turkey totally cut a deal to rat out the other two.

WhatTheHeck November 24, 2008 at 6:39 pm

A train wreck follows this woman around and we are willing voyeurs.
Keep it coming!

slinkimalinki November 24, 2008 at 6:39 pm

a cameraman “ignored” the governor’s staff’s request to remove the graphic sight once cameras were rolling.
cameramen have this kind of power? the power to move machinery, buildings, and grinning, moustachioed turkey-stranglers instantly, using only their minds? this changes everything.

Keram2 November 24, 2008 at 6:39 pm

[re=185072]V572625694[/re]: “Entertainment Tonight” — 1992′s answer to TMZ.

Toomush Infermashun November 24, 2008 at 6:40 pm

I think it’s really just the goofy guy doing the turkey killing while looking at her… somehow, he is having a continual orgasm at the expense of MisGovernor and he knows she knows he knows she knows…… this guy has got to be part of our visual lexicon for the next century…

Pat Pending November 24, 2008 at 6:40 pm

The whole thing was just so… John Waters. I laughed until I peed.

Mull_Man November 24, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Turkeys – a noble beast
Palin – a noble’s turkey

NewSpence November 24, 2008 at 6:42 pm

Mission Accomplished, indeed.

P.T.T. November 24, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Whoa. I knew about the weird African dude and the witches, but I didn’t know about the ETs. Has the big mother saucer been to Wasilla? Spooky. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m keeping a window open here: http://www.wasillachamber.org/webcams/

Them November 24, 2008 at 6:46 pm

“She didn’t know what was going on right behind her back!” Uh — “No, wait! It’s the media’s fault?”

How was this woman not part of the Bush Administration?

Scandalabra November 24, 2008 at 6:46 pm

I Sarah Palin, friend of all creatures great and small, think maimin’ wolves from airplanes, drownin’ polar bears and extinctin’ whales are fine. So what’s the big deal about decapitatin’ turkeys during a teevee interview?

Mustang November 24, 2008 at 6:47 pm

So Sarah was either attracted to the notion that by standing in front of someone butchering a turkey while she discoursed about the joy of pardoning a turkey, she would be able to make an ironic statement about the hipocracy of banal and meaningless ceremonies an elected official is expected to perpetuate, or she’s stupid.

problemwithcaring November 24, 2008 at 6:49 pm

The inevitable fame and fortune she will ultimately provide the entertaining Mudflats blog must be one of the reasons the universe tolerates this woman’s presence. That, and her witch-doctor community service work.

magic titty November 24, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Let Sarah be Sarah!

Dean Booth November 24, 2008 at 6:51 pm

Apparently, she’s made the same mistake before:

rag November 24, 2008 at 6:51 pm

“This is called irony. Harmless humor is frequently derived from it.” Not tragic irony; that kind’s tragic.

Like, it’s funny-ironic if she runs Alaska; it’s tragic-ironic if she runs a country … any country, much less America.

Dave J. November 24, 2008 at 6:52 pm

I still can’t believe more people aren’t talking about that chav-tastic Burberry scarf.

NoWireHangers November 24, 2008 at 6:53 pm

Surely a woman who shoots wolves from planes wouldn’t want to be associated with the killing of animals for food.

At least tell plausible lies, bitch.

rambone November 24, 2008 at 6:53 pm

Oh, if only those turkeys could have alerted Palin as to the slaughter that was taking place directly behind her, perhaps by making loud “they’re killing me!” sounds in turkey-speak (Arabic?).

I know, these flights of fantasy do little to help shield dearest Sarah from the claws of the gotcha, you betcha, fuckya, media.

marioninnyc November 24, 2008 at 6:56 pm

The whole thing was a Rovian set up to own the news and apparently not just for the day either. This is going on a week now. She wants the liberal media chattering classes chattering. Sooner or later they’ll be a statement by her or by her defenders talking about how Jeebus gave us dominion over the animals and real mericans understand that and are a part of the process by which they get to the table, a process which also includes huntin and fishin. The rest of us are just godless pinko, cosmopolitan hypocrites who talk about cruelty to animals and tear down the hard workin folk who bring food to our table. Come to think of it, maybe she has a point.

OkieHookerinEngland November 24, 2008 at 6:57 pm

[re=185094]Dave J.[/re]: Ace innit.

wheelie November 24, 2008 at 6:58 pm

This just in: The turkey has pardoned Palin.

chascates November 24, 2008 at 7:02 pm

I can’t wait to see what she does at Christmas.

rocktonsammy November 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm

damn liberal media

shortsshortsshorts November 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm

[re=185103]wheelie[/re]: SICK IRONY.
And a win for wheelie.

Palin-Plumber2012 November 24, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Sarah Palin 2012: the candidate who requests not to be filmed where turkeys are slaughtered, and answers questions at a turkey slaughterhouse, with a turkey slaughtering machine 10 feet behind her, with cameras right in front of her.

Is that too much for a bumper sticker?

psychedelicSludge November 24, 2008 at 7:09 pm

Entertainment Tonight? “Jerks”.
KTUU? “Jerks”.
Turkeys being slaughtered behind her? Also a bunch of “jerks”.

Chautauqua November 24, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Wow-so that’s how you cook your own goose?

Maybe Bush and Palin can pardon each other for being IOD-Idiots on Duty.

Sans the Diaper November 24, 2008 at 7:10 pm

I love her with every fiber of my being.

metropolitan November 24, 2008 at 7:11 pm

wow, several times she was chastised by the mccain thing for giving new media life to stupid stories that were pretty much ready to die out on their own (such as the shopping spree, etc).
i don’t understand how this woman has yet to learn her lesson. these stupid stories are in the news for a day or two and then they die a natural death unless you give them a new electric shock to keep them living for a few more days and this can go on and on ala terry schiavo until you just pull the plugs and let it go to the afterlife.
oh god, i so want her to be 2012 nominee…

Sans the Diaper November 24, 2008 at 7:14 pm

Is that too much for a bumper sticker?

I don’t think so.

More is more.

CaliforniaMike November 24, 2008 at 7:17 pm

Bible Spice was truly upset that a turkey was killed in the background. She was told that it would be Ted Stevens.

CaliforniaMike November 24, 2008 at 7:18 pm

Sarah would never have approved of an animal being killed in the background.

She only approves when she has kill rights herself.

Lazy Media November 24, 2008 at 7:18 pm

Has anybody built a Palinizer? You know, software that would take a sentence such as, “We are working on the budget, with the limitations imposed by the drop in oil prices, in order to provide needed services for Alaskans,” and turns it into “We’re just in there building this budget that is being built, y’know, for Alaskans, and dealin’ with the factor of oil prices, which are plummeting, also, and makin’ sure that we’re doin’ what needs to be done for the economy, to build it, for Alaskans. Also.”

Canuck13652 November 24, 2008 at 7:23 pm

Except, of course, all the real americans that love her will love her more for this. Unlike latte-sipping muslin terrorist libtards (who’d only be filmed in front of their arugula fields), this shows that Palin’s a woman of the people, she’s tough and not afraid of a little blood and guts. I mean, she once cleaned the body of a moose (bear? baby seal?) she’d killed and they loved her for that.

tacdab November 24, 2008 at 7:28 pm

Who is this… this “Sarah Palin” of whom you speak?

Keram2 November 24, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=185106]chascates[/re]: Run, Rudolph! Run!

blader November 24, 2008 at 7:30 pm

While in college, for all the free food I could eat, I worked in the kitchen of a sorority of one of those ET “reporters”

I regret not poisoning her when I had the chances

Maus November 24, 2008 at 7:36 pm

[re=185121]metropolitan[/re]: Yep. Thankfully the media’s going to get way bored of her, but still report, and the people are going to get sick of her long before 2012. There’s no way she could stand to be out of the spotlight, and I’m not so sure that Fox is desperate enough to give her a show, so she’s going to continue to embarrass herself like this over and over again.

It’s glorious.

problemwithcaring November 24, 2008 at 7:39 pm

[re=185094]Dave J.[/re]: Dave Chappelle’s Tron on his “Mad Real World” had more realistic looking Burberry.

skroocap November 24, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Scott Jensen took away her first amendment rights!

Mr. Spanky November 24, 2008 at 7:54 pm

Many years ago, “National Lampoon” had an amazing cartoon called “Whistle Stop”.

In the cartoon was a well-dressed white man in a cage with rats. The train stops and his “handlers” pull him out, clean him up, put him in make up and send him to the back of the train to speak to the adoring crowds.

But as he starts to speak, one his aides whispers to the other one, “I wonder if anybody is going to notice him trying to eat a rat!”

This is that moment in politics, only imagined 35 years ago by us old liberals!

Jukesgrrl November 24, 2008 at 7:56 pm

[re=185081]Pat Pending[/re]: Yes! The Sarah Palin Story, written and directed by John Waters. It’s the one thing that might end her career.

[re=185106]chascates[/re]: I’m thinkin’ Santa’s a goner. The killing will never stop. Certainly she’s killing me.

[re=185128]CaliforniaMike[/re]: WIN.

Borat November 24, 2008 at 8:34 pm

I tend to think killing stuff is cathartic to Snowbilly, she want to kill off repressed memories of the campaign. It’s kind of like Lady Macbeth and the handwashing thing, but a bit in reverse. And Palin is insane whereas Lady Macbeth was crazy.

Chief Grinning Eagle November 24, 2008 at 8:51 pm

The only good turkey is a live turkey, and that ain’t no jive, turkey!

Borat November 24, 2008 at 8:52 pm

My new mission in life is to reach the ‘assorted hipple’ class

WesternCorrespondent November 24, 2008 at 8:58 pm

Sarah’s going to be SOOOOOO jealous on January 20th, when someone else, oh, that one, steals the national headlines away from what should rightfully be hers… Well, hers and that old guy she was letting run the show for a while.

Makes you wonder what Sarah will do to steal those headlines back.

S.Luggo November 24, 2008 at 9:07 pm

Thanks, Barbie.
God, I love the smell of Napalm in the morning.

wickedlittledoll November 24, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Typical gotcha journalism! Elitist media always loves to make brilliant politicians conduct interviews in front of a fargo-style turkey massacre.


gambypants November 24, 2008 at 9:28 pm

by Christmas she’ll say there’s no Santa and by inauguration accidentally shoot the Easter bunny.


WonkaBee November 24, 2008 at 9:34 pm

I.. I dunno .. y’know?

RabidHamster November 24, 2008 at 9:36 pm

[re=185097]rambone[/re]: Unfortunately, the turkeys were the smartest creatures in the lens, so there was little chance any turkeyspeak messages would be understood. Even after losing its head, the turkey went on to beat Sarah eight games out of six in chess.

WonkaBee November 24, 2008 at 9:41 pm

[re=185092]Dean Booth[/re]: What, no Space Shuttle blow-ups behind her? Twin Towers?

shortsshortsshorts November 24, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Turkeys have the smallest littlest brains on the planet, so the farmer wanted to put Palin through the Grinder.

WonkaBee November 24, 2008 at 10:06 pm

[re=185193]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ah, that’s why he’s looking over at her that way – sizing her up … “hmmm.. as soon as I can get that cameraman outta the way … UP AND OVER!!”

Mr Blifil November 24, 2008 at 10:07 pm

I’m surprised that Todd didn’t take one look at that giant turkey-killing funnel of doom and try to stick his dick down there, provided there was no axe on the other side to meet it when it poked through. He’ll go for anything remotely yonic, I’ve heard.

cal November 24, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Mmm, bloody butchery. A Republican specialty.

Monsieur Grumpe' November 24, 2008 at 10:13 pm

I’ve heard that Sarah actually laughs at Family Circus comics.

CumaeanSibyl November 24, 2008 at 10:18 pm

What kind of frontier cutie doesn’t wanna go out with her shootin’ iron and kill herself some eatin’ birds?

CanadianBacon November 24, 2008 at 10:37 pm

I can’t wait for next month when during the interview at the the chicken ranch the farmhand in the background is busy choking his chicken.

1ofUS November 24, 2008 at 10:37 pm

That was Hopey’s lone progressive appointment to his cabinet being disassembled in the background. That seals it: Sarah Palin will be the Secretary of the Interior.

shortsshortsshorts November 24, 2008 at 11:07 pm

[re=185204]Mr Blifil[/re]: The fucker almost seems proud of what he is doing on the tee vee, like he’s totally ready to do it to Palin.

I read Call of the Wild, that is reason enough to run the fuck away from Alaska.

Unless you have a SWEET Miami Vice speed boat and a lot of volume. Then you should totes do it.

trondant November 24, 2008 at 11:29 pm


One Yield Regular November 25, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=185081]Pat Pending[/re]: She really is an almost perfect John Waters character. After Traci Lords and Patty Hearst, it would not be unthinkable for her to actually show up in one of his films. Were she not so actually horrid, I mean.

btwbfdimho November 25, 2008 at 12:27 am
rbloom November 25, 2008 at 1:28 am

Those “personal assistants” she was standing next to? Joel and Ethan Coen.

S.Luggo November 25, 2008 at 3:31 am

[re=185261]btwbfdimho[/re]: Thanks. One sentence can turn the tide.

S.Luggo November 25, 2008 at 3:35 am

Those weren’t turkeys in the grinder behind Barbie. Eagles.
Bush pardon?

WadISay November 25, 2008 at 3:47 am

Put Ozzie Osborne in the background biting the heads off chickens next time and she will still be OK with it.

sk1win November 25, 2008 at 4:11 am

Are there other people out there besides me who rather than be relieved that she isn’t a McCain heartbeat away from the presidency are mad that she almost was? I really thought this hatred of her would subside after the election but the fact that she got that close is so insulting and sickening to me that these types of stories don’t make me laugh–they make me want to scream.

C is for cookie November 25, 2008 at 4:37 am

With a name like Triple D Farm, I was expecting dairy cows.

DOG HAT November 25, 2008 at 4:41 am

I see nothing wrong with the interview and Sarah Palin…

Johnny Zhivago November 25, 2008 at 8:34 am

Imagine if she was the “VEE PEE” – she would probably conduct an interview about torture being banned while Iraqis were being tortured behind her!

finallyhappy November 25, 2008 at 8:38 am

[re=185290]sk1win[/re]: People still support her. I truly believe racism gave her ticket a good portion of the votes they got- but there are many people who think she is great and a woman of whom to be proud. It just shows how many truly stupid people there are in this country. She and her supporters are keeping this going. The turmoil within the GOP and the changing of the US population will give us a good president for at least 16 years- maybe longer

wheelie November 25, 2008 at 8:48 am

[re=185239]trondant[/re]: Yes, endurant. A nice word. I thought it gave Jim’s blog a very classy aura.

Mighty Rex November 25, 2008 at 8:52 am

Is that Joe, the Turkey Butchererer?

blader November 25, 2008 at 9:41 am

[re=185130]Lazy Media[/re]:

Yes. It’s called google translator. You paste in something in English. Translate it to German. Then translate that German output to Lithuanian, then translate that output back to English.

Here, for example, is the simple phrase: “As a symbol of good will and the magnanimous compassion of state government, I will choose a single turkey to be pardoned from the Thanksgiving slaughter.”

Here it is after Palinization by The Google:

“As a symbol of goodwill and compassion Magnanimous their state government, and I will select one in Turkey, which I can see from my bedroom window, are exempt from the Thanksgiving slaughter.”

All Praise The Google

yellowdogdem November 25, 2008 at 9:50 am

[re=185094]Dave J.[/re]: First thing I noticed (I’m a day late reading this). I bet she didn’t buy that scarf at her local Walmart. Wait, it was undoubtedly part of the wardrobe bailout package she received when she and McCain lost the election.

TGY November 25, 2008 at 10:30 am

As Scalia and his ‘quack-quack’, I offer – Sarah Palin: ‘gobble, gobble, gobble, bu-SQAWK!’

ScribblinPossum November 25, 2008 at 11:20 am

Umm… okay… even if – and that’s a big if – Caribou Asshead didn’t know the butchering was going on behind her, she still picked and okayed that spot for the interview… because yeah – with or without the butchering going on, blood and turkey carnage splattered all over the place in a turkey killin’ death tub is soooo scenic and purty for a backdrop.

Damn! Shut up, Bitch.

Fivetree November 25, 2008 at 12:27 pm

The day Walnuts picked her I told all my friends that she would be The Gift That Keeps on Giving all the way through to the election. I just didn’t think she would keep on giving once she was sent packing back to the tundra. She’s a Giver, that Sally. Moose-tang Sally, I call her. She gives ’til it hurts. Please never leave us, Sally.

druranium November 25, 2008 at 12:28 pm

I, as an assorted hippie, was not shocked by dead turkeys. Us hippies and vegs have seen it all before. It’s called “Meet Your Meat” and it is narrarated by Alec Baldwin.
The people who buy the shrink wrapped 20 lb max pax of ground beef and the frozen shiny white plastic turkey balls were the ones who were shocked as they seem not to know how meat happens or babies are made.
Get it straight Jim!
And Palin is a lying sack of giblets.

Wings November 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

See what happens when you teach a pig to sing!

what tha? November 29, 2008 at 11:56 pm

I was happy she didn’t pardon a moose- the chainsaw action would have been grisley!

philosophy major December 5, 2008 at 8:45 am

I laughed so hard, especially at the snarky comments, I hurt myself. Luckily I was doing this on company time so it’s covered as a work-related injury.

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