WASHINGTON, DC, 06:36 AM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
TARP SUCCESS STORIES

Your Most Recent ‘AIG Still Spends Absurd Amounts Of Taxpayer Money On Dumb Things’ News!

Evil insurance cashburner AIG loves to take $150 billion (so far!) of your money to pay off its toxic debts, such as executive pay packages, luxurious corporate junkets and, now, sports team jerseys!

See, your associate editor just bought this fun new soccer video game and loves to play as England’s Manchester United, because (a) they have so many good players and (b) printed on their jerseys are the huge letters “AIG,” which is just so comical and embarrassing — especially since it was an English unit of AIG that lost all of the company’s money by selling credit-default swaps like hotcakes!

Well, AIG is spending $125 million to renew on that sponsorship. Because if AIG’s name appears on the soccer players’ jerseys, then suddenly people will want to invest in or buy services from that terrible, immoral global chop-shop.

Congress? HELLO? CONGRESS? Oversight! On the AIG! They’re doing weeeeeeeeird stuff! Watch them!

Bailed-out companies AIG, Citibank have no plans to cancel expensive sports sponsorships. [Think Progress]


3:49 PM on Mon November 24 2008
By Jim Newell
5272 Views

  1. Neon Trotsky says at 3:52 pm, November 24th, 2008

    And since the Russkies essentially own the English Premier League, perhaps this is all part of the intricate Communist Hedge Fund conspiracy?

  2. I’ll bring the torches if some of y’all bring the pitchforks.

  3. FreshCliches says at 3:54 pm, November 24th, 2008

    I can’t wait for Manchester United’s exhibition game at Enron Field.

  4. lenorecutie says at 3:54 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Is it just me, or does anyone else just want to kick the CEO of AIG in the nuts right now. Possibly with steel toed boots on.

  5. SayItWithWookies says at 3:54 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Always Investing in Garbage.
    Assinine Insolvent Greedheads.
    Achingly Inappropriate Gluttony.

  6. Ted Perino says at 3:55 pm, November 24th, 2008

    If I had known we got kool t-shirts, I would have been way more supportive of the AIG bail-out!

  7. randomsausage says at 3:56 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Yeah — we all own a bit of Cristiano Ronaldo now.

  8. V572625694 says at 3:56 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Hank Paulson: Loyal Servant of the Ruling Classes

  9. ManchuCandidate says at 3:57 pm, November 24th, 2008

    I think that Citi and the Mets go together like love and marriage. Both have lousy management, overpaid bums and bullpens that collapse in the heat of a crisis or pennant race.

  10. BillyClubb says at 3:57 pm, November 24th, 2008

    …it was an English unit of AIG that lost all of the company’s money…

    This makes me feel a tad better. Before, I was blaming my poverty on evil Americans, now I can spread the blame to England. Thanks a lot, wankers!

  11. ManchuCandidate says at 3:58 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Ted Perino:
    “The government invested my money into AIG and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt”

  12. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 3:59 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Please tell me you bought the new Pro Evolution/Winning Eleven, and not FIFA.

    Pro Evolution Soccer is fucking video crack.

  13. this is why I root for Liverpool.

  14. BillyClubb says at 3:59 pm, November 24th, 2008

    FreshCliches: Ooh, so sorry, it’s now Minute Maid Park. In Houston, we don’t want the Enron tag on anything.

  15. ABU! ABU! Those AIG creepos should be forced to sponsor Swinden Town, or Dorking FC, or Motherwell, or Effing Grimsby!

  16. magic titty says at 4:00 pm, November 24th, 2008

    But Christiano Ronaldo is so hot. Doesn’t that make it all ok?

  17. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 4:01 pm, November 24th, 2008

    randomsausage:
    Yeah, but he comes with some potatohead-looking Rooney fellow.

  18. JimNewell says at 4:01 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Botswana Meat Commission FC: OK I was a Pro Evolution guy OBVS until this year when Fifa finally made dramatic changes to the gameplay. Seriously. This is on the Internet.

  19. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:02 pm, November 24th, 2008

    At least AIG get to be associated with a succesful team (Played 13, 25pts and also in the Champions League) - the British Government, for much the same reason, sponsor Newcastle United (Played 14, 14pts, generally suck).

    Congress should force Man U to wear shirts with “USA! A-OK!” emblazened on the front. Similarly, Newcastle could wear shirts that say “Looks like rain again” on the front.

  20. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:02 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Botswana Meat Commission FC: FIFA is absolute majesty. I challenge you to a dual, sir.

  21. GollyGeeWilly says at 4:04 pm, November 24th, 2008

    What the fuck is Soccer? This is America, right? What the hell…..?

  22. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:05 pm, November 24th, 2008

    They will never be taken seriously on Wall Street until they invest in penis extenders.

  23. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 4:06 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Jim Newell:
    Really? Damn. I’d long given up on Fifa. But if the internet says it…

    (Actually, I hear the REAL hardcore 100% pure video crack is Football Manager… but I’m afraid to nerd it up quite that much.)

  24. hedgehog says at 4:08 pm, November 24th, 2008

    AIG’s executive team (past and present) should be made to wear the Man U jerseys in the middle of Old Trafford while selected shareholders and taxpayers give them the Royal Navy treatment — rum, sodomy and the lash. Without the rum.

  25. Internally valid says at 4:10 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Communists! Let the free market work! Jerseys are the most efficient investment right now. Buy buy buy!

  26. FreshCliches says at 4:12 pm, November 24th, 2008

    BillyClubb: Um, my point exactly.

    Besides, Cecil Cooper is venerated up here where your “neutral site” no-hitter was played.

  27. MoodProcessor says at 4:12 pm, November 24th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies:
    Avarice Is Great!

  28. randomsausage says at 4:15 pm, November 24th, 2008

    We’re all Stretford Enders now

  29. snideinplainsight says at 4:15 pm, November 24th, 2008

    This would all be soooooo funny if it wasn’t our money, ha ha ha!

  30. choinski says at 4:16 pm, November 24th, 2008

    What else would an Executive wear in the Skybox at AIG BailoutDome Arena?

  31. MoodProcessor says at 4:18 pm, November 24th, 2008

    $125 million on t-shirts or $half mil on rub-n-tug.

    well, I guess with the t-shirts you at least have something to show for it….

  32. psychedelicSludge says at 4:20 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Anyvone Ixcipt George.

  33. Weird, Sick, Twisted,
    Weird, Sick, Twisted,
    Weird, Sick, Twisted,
    Eeeeevil Stuff! And I want in!

  34. Apparently the comments section does not approve of my close homer tag.

  35. TedTheLightBulbSalesman says at 4:32 pm, November 24th, 2008

    That’s a two-year-old jersey. The current one doesn’t have the white accents around the neckline and beneath the club badge. Also, Ronaldo is a wanker.

  36. InsidiousTuna says at 4:33 pm, November 24th, 2008

    FreshCliches: Enron Park is now Minute Maid Park, for what it’s worth. AIG is in the pocket of Big Juice?

  37. Percepied says at 4:35 pm, November 24th, 2008

    hey, silly people, the story on ABC notes only that they are not canceling their current shirt sponsorship of Manchester United. The deal was worth $125m over 4 years with much of that front loaded. They are currently 2 1/2 years into it and only have about $10-15m left to pay for next years sponsorship - this will come due sometime next summer I believe

    Whether they renew the deal is a whole different question.

    It is my understanding that the bailout money AIG received has not, up to this point, being used toward their sponsorship of Manchester United.

    Manchester United are also the biggest sports brand in the world.

  38. InsidiousTuna says at 4:35 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Jim Newell: shortsshortsshorts: Botswana Meat Commission FC: Agreed. FIFA is excellent this year.

  39. ChrissMari says at 4:39 pm, November 24th, 2008

    I just came here to say CTID

  40. ChrissMari says at 4:40 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Also, Pro Evo > Fifa

  41. Is there that much of a market for people who don’t read newspapers or watch the news and then go out and invest in companies and make financial decisions based on the shirt logo Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo are wearing? Is it more than $125 million?

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  42. OkieHookerinEngland says at 5:08 pm, November 24th, 2008

    BillyClubb: England is just one giant trailer park. Trust me, I’m an Okie therefore formally acquainted with white trailer now council house trash. Wankers the lot of them.

  43. Panderfinder says at 5:20 pm, November 24th, 2008

    I saw someone walking through my suburban
    Panera’s in one of these shirts Saturday before
    last. why would you appear in public wearing
    this bulls-eye?

  44. Juan McMaverick says at 5:42 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Futbol? Y’all talkin’ ’bout some futbol?
    allllllllright, WTF is this shit?

  45. illnoise says at 5:49 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Fuck Man Utd.

    Props to the Crew, btw, they’re a class act, they deserved it, and I didn’t even feel so bad that they beat the Fire in the semis.

  46. If I had to guess Wayne Rooney would be a Palin supporter. It also looks like his species has evolved only within in the last 6,000 years - I still see that Neanderthal profile of his.

    Then again, he plays great football and probably can buy AIG on a week’s salary. Wasn’t like that back in the Everton days.

    To those of you thinking of investing in these shirts, its going to be a dead market for you - you should short. Once the AIG logo is replaced, the AIG logoed shirts can only be found for a fiver on the floor at Lillywhites.

  47. OkieHookerinEngland: I beg to differ, England is not one giant trailer park. The council flats I know are more like Dhaka or Lahore.

  48. Neon Trotsky: Actually Man U is owned by a grilly old American chappie, Malcom Glazer. So this is an Asset the Russians don’t have yet. However, we can use it as a barganing chip when Putin rears his ugly head in Alaska.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/4999748.stm

  49. Que Sera Sarah says at 6:16 pm, November 24th, 2008
  50. Does anyone here not yet understand that AIG is run by really stupid business people? Their consistent dumb decisions shows that either they don’t get it or they don’t care. Who says AIG has to exist at all? We want our money back!!

  51. OkieHookerinEngland says at 7:09 pm, November 24th, 2008

    Borat: I obviously need correction. Firmly and repeatedly.

  52. Libtard hippie socialists,sports sponsorships are important in business:
    1. The international CEO Courvoisier drinking and passing-out competition.
    2. North American Ivy League bridge and firing servants tournament.
    3. Santa Barbara croquet face-off.
    4. Shaker Heights polo and no unemployment compensation championship.
    5. Miami yachting-over-Haitian-immigrants challenge.
    6. “Turning-in Dusky MexHondurans” Phoenix Country Club trials.
    7. Fizzbin.

    Apart from that, Tony Fratto rhymes with Gitmo.

  53. Captain Swing says at 7:33 am, November 25th, 2008

    TeddyS: Absolutely. You’ve got to wonder just how long the U.S. government can keep on coming up with a huge bailout cheque every time some appallingly managed company sends their latest-in-a-long-line of incompetent douchebag CEO’s flying off to D.C. on the corporate jet in a two thousand dollar suit, with a Gucci briefcase in one hand and a begging bowl in the other.

    I don’t want to get all James Howard Kunstler here, but the wave of inflation that will be generated by printing all this money is likely to be massive, and hard to bring under control.

    Aren’t these the same overpaid stuffed shirts who are always lecturing us pissants on how the Free Market must be free to operate? I couldn’t agree more.

    Rule 1> Badly run companies FAIL.

    Rule 2> It’s not the taxpayers’ responsibility to pay for your incompetence.

    Rule 3> So fook off!

  54. Ha. I just bought a Chinese knockoff of this jersey in Egypt for 7USD the other day. That’s capitalism for you!

  55. nader paul kucinich gravel says at 6:55 pm, March 17th, 2009

    OK!

    Count us in,
    we need four(4) of those bad boys for our styling & profiling ~

Leave a Reply