Al Franken Will Win Minnesota Senate Seat Because More Stupid Voters Like Him

Have you all been following this Franken-Coleman senatorial recount drudgery on the FiveThirtyEight? Good for you! Certain Wonkette editors have resisted wading into those treacherous waters, for they are abrim with regression analyses & dragonnes & awful flashbacks to Florida of 2000. But here is a funny non-maths-related theory about the soul-sucking recount process in Minnesota, and one novel Republican explanation for why the venerated radio host Al Franken will win!

While the conventional wisdom is that these recounted ballots should break the same way as the broader election results, Republicans fret that sloppy Democratic voters might mean Franken votes emerging as the recount continues.

“Democrats are [thought to be] more creative, free-spirited, so the idea is they’re more likely to make a mistake that the optical scan won’t pick up,” explains Hentges. “But when they recount the hard copy, those votes will be counted for Franken. If you talk to Republicans, they say it will be Franken’s advantage, because Democrats are stupid and will screw up ballots more often.”

Honestly, it's pretty hard to detect a pattern to the idiocy illustrated in these disputed ballots. IT IS REALLY NOT HARD TO FILL IN A CIRCLE, PEOPLE. In Minnesota, the inability to fill out a simple ballot according to very straightforward instructions knows no political party. This is why it's now a tossup as to whether Minnesotans will be represented by a buffoon with a Flowbee addiction or a buffoon who wears diapers and bunny ears.

 Sloppy Dems may spell Franken advantage [Politico]