Our nation’s Presidents have a long and glorious history of promising “bipartisan healing” and such when it comes to Cabinet appointments. They say they will appoint members of the opposition party to important positions and then they give some toothless middle-of-the-roader an invisible Cabinet post that nobody cares about. Remember Norman Mineta, the Democratic transportation secretary in the early George W. Bush years? No? That’s because he was completely boring and unimportant. (He did have an airport named after him, though! A terrible airport.) Our future President Barack Obama plans to follow in this grand tradition, with one Clintonesque twist: Just like Bill Clinton did, he’ll let a Republican have the high-profile job of Defense Secretary.
Rumor has it that current, and allegedly future, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is an all-right guy. People seem not to hate him passionately, and he is certainly an improvement over the awful supercilious angry old torture-whore Donald Rumsfeld. So in keeping Gates, Obama gets to retain “continuity” in foreign policy, plus he gets a Republican in the Cabinet, plus he gets to perpetuate the idea that Democrats are too wussy to conduct their own goddamn wars. Everybody wins, sort of!
Whither the Cabinet Republicans? [Politico]
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I heard that Nelson Rockefeller was reincarnated as a teddy bear hamster in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. Get the rodent, but be aware that the average lifespan is less than a Presidential term.
I thought I could go an entire article about Obama’s cabinet without seeing the stupid phrase “Team of Rivals.” I was so hopeful that it was gone. Then SKS tagged it and my hopes were crushed. Damn you SKS!
P.S. My horrible mornings would not be the same without your beautiful snark SKS.
Wait – when did Obama become Cartman?
I miss all the important stuff.
Biden is Butters.
[re=184285]CankleBiter[/re]: It beats the panties off of “Team of Mavericks”, you betcha.
Democrats finish wars, Republicans prolong them. (Granted, they actually finished Vietnam, but not without prolonging it.) And Democrats only start wars they can finish; Republicans don’t.
After the past eight years, hiring a Republican as Defense Secretary is like hiring Paul Prudhomme to head an anti-obesity task force.
I am growing bored of all these secretaries getting picked. Can’t Barry select someone with more interesting titles like Acting Junior Assistant Undersecretary?
Or, even better, come up with some new posts, or new names for existing posts, like Minister of Torture and Warcraft, Minister of Sound, Secretaty of Gettin’ Down and Officeboy? I’m sure I’m missing a few
[re=184284]norbizness[/re]: “be aware that the average lifespan is less than a Presidential term”
Haha just like a press secretary lolwhut?
Hillary is Wendy and Terry McAuliffe keeps vomiting on her.
[re=184291]Larry McAwful[/re]: No no, don’t you understand, Barry can totally trust Gates…he will be guarded by one of OB’s most senior Unicorns…it will all be fine.
[re=184293]jbd[/re]: In retrospect, this comment proves that one should not drink on Monday mornings on the theory that it’s just an extension of Sunday night with the sun up. Fascinating.
[re=184287]BarthexDeRosa[/re]: I lol’d.
Geithner was a Republican before he changed his registration to Independent. But I doubt that’ll get much traction with the foaming-at-the-mouth set.
[re=184291]Larry McAwful[/re]: So this little war that Jack Kennedy got us into in Southeast Asia, where does that fit in? How about the one Truman got us into?
[re=184301]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: Well, people do change their minds. I was listening to these old tapes my dad made of my siblings and me when I was seven, right after Jimmy Carter’s inauguration. Apparently I was an enthusiastic Gerald Ford supporter. I mean, I call myself a lifelong Democrat, but apparently that’s not entirely true. I’ll chalk it up to youthful indiscretion—though I maintain that Ford was far better than any Republican president who followed him. Or any Republican presidential nominee who followed him, as well.
[re=184292]Borat[/re]:
Cartman for Minister Of Torture And Warcraft!
RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!!!
God, I hope he makes Palin secretary of something. She would be the best SILF ever.
Did anyone see the recent South Park, where to get detention, Cartman takes a dump on Mr. Garrison’s desk? That was more funny than anything. I laughed when that happened. Those writers sure have a good sense of humor.
[re=184302]WIDTAP[/re]: Yeah, well, my mistake. I meant to add that Vietnam was an exception for the Democrats as well as for the Republicans (though to be exact, it was Dwight Eisenhower who sent the first American “advisors” to Vietnam in 1959.) As to Korea, well… the Democrats could have finished it, and would have, if Stevenson had won the election. No one who seriously wanted the 1952 nomination was going to prolong Korea. We’ve had troops there now for what, sixty years without a peace treaty? Regardless, the shooting is over, so I think it’s fair to say the war is over, unless someone starts shooting at someone again.
[re=184306]rambone[/re]: Appoint her ambassador to Latvia, it being Russia adjacent and all
[re=184307]Larry Fine[/re]: Maybe as a parting practical joke, Bush can pinch a loaf and leave it in the Presidential desk. Won’t Barry be surprised on his first day! Oh, how I just love bathroom humor.
Anyone who was willing to work in the Bush administration who wasn’t brain-damaged or drooling insane to begin with probably possessed a sense of duty out of all proportion to reason. So they’re all pretty much instantly disqualified for high office. I would, however, appoint Dubya as ambassador to Iraq. Right after the troops leave.
Sarah Palin- Director of National Intelligence
Karl Rove-Postmaster General
Rush Limbaugh- Director of National Drug Control Policy
Angelina Jolie- Secretary of Labor
I’m for it, as long as Obama clearly explains that the reason he’s keeping Gates is that no Democrats are fit to hold a position like Defense Secretary, what with their rampant hate of the military. If he also adds in that our brilliant media that’s wrong about everything thinks it’s a masterstroke, well then I’ll just die a happy man. Gates forever.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
[re=184291]Larry McAwful[/re]: Liked the Paul Prudhomme thing.
I say, appoint Jimmy Carter as Secretary of Defense and watch Republicans’ blood pressure rise to unsafe levels. As for his past experience and qualifications for the position, it didn’t seem to matter much the past 8 years…
[re=184305]Theodorick Of York[/re]: Ron Paul for Secretary of World of Warcraft!
so right about the airport they named after Mineta! What a clusterfuck. And u-gly.
[re=184302]WIDTAP[/re]: It was Eisenhower that got us into Vietnam. Jack just took it up a notch
[re=184310]Larry Fine[/re]: why not, Bush has already left a really really big turd on Obama’s doorstep: a fucked up economy, a fucked up war… Bush has left Barry O all of this fucked-up shit, could it be the results of buttsecks?
[re=184327]Neon Trotsky[/re]:
Stewie Griffin would be a great Minister Of Torture.
Favorite episode, when Stewie is torturing the neighborhood bully for stealing his bike.
Lois hears the screaming from upstairs…
Lois: What’s going on down there?
Stewie: We’re playing house.
Lois: Why is that boy all tied up?
Stewie: It’s Roman Polanski’s house.
Priceless!
Lawrence Summers is finally able to button his suit jacket! (Is that the gravy fountain he had installed in his office at Harvard?)
Gates is bor-ring. Bring back the Rumdumb. We need his assuring words, “There will be good moments, and there will be less good moments.” April 7, 2004, in reference to the 2004 spring uprising in Iraq
i thought the token republican was going to be joe lieberman.
Personally, I think Hillary should’ve been tapped for Defense. She’s got more balls than anybody around (her camapaign people said so) and she clearly needs to be tapped, period. I don’t think being diplomatic is her strong suit at all.
We’re gonna need a Republican as Chief of Defense for bipartisan cred when we negotiate with Iran, Shiite militias, Sunni militias, and the Taliban.
Perhaps Barry should start seancing Ronald Reagan after all. For, you know, the Dead Politician cabinet seat.
I liked Norman Mineta. He always looked
like he thought he was doing something.
[re=184302]WIDTAP[/re]: We won Korea though. We had a set of objectives, the objectives were met.
[re=184378]Sans the Diaper[/re]: I’m sorry, Norm Mineta always reminded me of Faye Dunaway’s butler in “Chinatown”, he was totally ineffective. He was supposed to help her get the fuck out of L.A. and instead she got shot. How he got to be Sec. of Transportation is anybody’s guess.
What about Michelle Bachmann for Secretary of Investigating Americans
Where the hell did the stereotype that democrats can’t conduct their own wars come from, anyway? I seem to remember a guy named Truman who dropped two goddamn atom bombs on Japan one upon a time. And another guy, I think his name was Franklin something-or-other, BEAT THE FUCKING NAZIS.
[re=184445]d-503[/re]: And didn’t John Fitzgerald Whatisname go eyeball to eyeball with Nikita Kruschev and make the old bag of bile turn around and go scurrying back into the Kremlin – where they promptly kicked his boozy ass into house arrest or obscurity or something like that?
Sure, throw in a gratuitous put-down of San Jose Airport. What exactly do you consider a “good” airport? San Francisco? O’Hare? JFK? Denver? You are obviously a compulsive shopper, so you prefer airports that look like malls and sell those scented, heated pillows for your sore neck. How about getting from my warm bed in San Jose to LAX or SAN or SNA in under two hours? How about no arrival delays because the Bay Area fog doesn’t generally get as far south as San Jose? How about flying from San Jose to LHR and not worrying about distant, off-airport parking? How about non-stops to NYC or Boston? Admit you’re wrong. Oh, and Norm Mineta may not be the life of the party, but he is a good guy.
[re=184445]d-503[/re]: Oh yes, and that Franklin guy not only beat the Nazis, he also whipped the Italians AND the Japanese and he did it in a wheelchair. While getting elected 4 times. And making all the Republicans cry like a bunch of 8 year old girls.
[re=184445]d-503[/re]: I think the problem came in when the Republicans, feeling the need to out-hawkify the Democrats, started calling for the suspension of civil rights for anyone who ever gets called a communist and for the launching of nuclear missiles at every country with a communist government. The Democrats’ unwillingness to start wars without provocation and not necessarily to keep peace in the world is what got them tagged as a bunch of wimps. Thank you, Senator McCarthy.
[re=184419]Fivetree[/re]: Norm Mineta got Faye Dunaway shot?
[re=184521]cal[/re]: Hey, leave it be – it’s just Chinatown.
[re=184472]Mr. San Jose[/re]: Sorry, but Wonkette is right on this one. While Mineta airport is not ACTUALLY a mall like a lot of airports – in the sense of having icky shops all over the place – I’ve never seen a place that looked more LIKE a mall. It’s wretchedly claustrophobic and astoundingly ugly. It also smells bad (though admittedly not as bad as O’Hare, where the combined smell of Berghoff’s, Cinnabon, and those vendors selling cheap perfume is enough to make anyone vomit).
What’s not to like about SFO? It’s got one of the absolute best underrated San Francisco attractions (The Museums of the San Francisco Airport), the food choices are better than at any other airport I know, and the Books Inc. in the United terminal is the single best bookstore I’ve found in an airport anywhere. If your flight’s delayed you can grab a good book and ride around in circles on the AirTram and admire the view. And best of all, it’s still called San Francisco International. It hasn’t been named after a person, living or dead, or given some corporate name like Massengill or Hot Pockets International.
Forget it, Jake. It’s San Jose.
Team of Fenemies.
Frenimies, ugh.
My take on winning and kicking ass in the DoD includes sending Gates to prison for past crimes and getting cowboy Chuck Spinney putting a wrench in MICC (military-industrial-Congressional complex).
More on Gates and our sorry-ass memory-challenged Congress’ perpetual spinelessness at http://www.consortiumnews.com/2008/111208.html
Get the lowdown on Spinney at http://backbonecampaign.org/cabinet/nominee.cfm?ID=8
[re=184612]HomoPolitico[/re]: Frenemies.
I had this discussion with a sub-contractor over lunch this afternoon. We both got nauseous with the thought of Hillary in the cabinet until he told me that Kissinger was the best SoS ever, at which point I could have vomited on him, but he was paying for lunch, so I refrained. The end.
There is such a thing as a token Republican? Now I understand how they come up with their ideas.
Wayne Gilchrest (R-MD) for EPA or Interior…
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