DAILY BRIEFING  8:29 am November 24, 2008

Barack Obama Worships At The Temple Of Basketball

by Sara K. Smith

  • Oh good gravy now homebuilders want a bailout. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Investors approve of Citigroup getting its bailout; on Friday the government agreed to invest $20 billion and guarantee over $300 billion of the bank’s troubled assets, and today the markets are expected to open higher. [AP]
  • Barack Obama has not attended church since the election, but now he is looking for DC-area house of worship. [ABC News]
  • Two roadside bombs and one suicide bomber outside the Green Zone killed at least 19 people in Baghdad today. [AFP]
  • Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin says he hopes the US and Russia will have a better relationship soon and that a President Obama will be “more constructive and responsible” in dealing with arms control matters. [AP]
  • Everybody wanted BOLD PROPOSALS from our President-elect Obama, so here is something bold: a $700 billion spending package, separate and distinct from the bank bailout, to save or create 2.5 million jobs. The point is this: we can now refer with impunity to “Obama’s extraordinarily large package.” [New York Times]
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rmontcal November 24, 2008 at 8:35 am

What will Obama’s position be on church-going double parkers?

Bostoprov November 24, 2008 at 8:44 am

What will Obama’s position be on all of the pop-up ads on Wonkette?

CivicHoliday November 24, 2008 at 8:51 am

The adorable puppet master Mr. Nate Silver has assured Mr. Franken he will win, by conducting a regression analysis, of the type I wept over while doing my Masters Thesis. Thanks for the bad memories, Nate, but as long as Coleman ends up in the toilet where he belongs, I’ll forgive you.

notsoflatlands November 24, 2008 at 8:54 am

“Obama’s extraordinarily large package.”

Thank you for this, Sara.

memzilla November 24, 2008 at 8:54 am

How about we make the Citigroup bailout conditional on their investing in the US automakers? Wouldn’t that kill two birds with one stone?

Enturbulate November 24, 2008 at 8:56 am

Our Sara K. Smith sez republicans are, “Massive, ancient, hairy proto-elephants!”

Listen to her! Olde timey radio show featuring Sara is here:


4tehlulz November 24, 2008 at 8:57 am

>>Oh good gravy now homebuilders want a bailout.

Don’t worry; people that actually make things will not be allowed to be bailed out, as that is socialism.

The investment class, on the other hand, do not make anything of real value, so the normal rules of capitalism do not apply. They will be bailed out until the world runs out of ink.

Serolf Divad November 24, 2008 at 9:07 am


Holy Christ , she sounds like Cokie Roberts or Mara Liason. Does Public Radio do that to everyone? If I were interviewed on NPR would I turn into Garrison Keillor?

Enturbulate November 24, 2008 at 9:08 am

Sara sez that the CEO’s of “The Big Three” should all be fired! Also.

Find out why by listening. I think I haz stalker crush on Sara.

*sad trombone*


El Kabong November 24, 2008 at 9:11 am

I know teh banks are having trouble… but isn’t advertising on wonkette like throwing good money after bad?

ella November 24, 2008 at 9:12 am

Still more bailouts? I thought we were broke.

monty November 24, 2008 at 9:17 am

[re=184277]ella[/re]: the chinee arent broke, and thats really all that matters. as long as they play enabler we’ll keep play junkie.

MathewBrooks November 24, 2008 at 9:21 am

[re=184274]Serolf Divad[/re]: You know the answer to this is: OF COURSE YOU WILL. Lake Wobegon here you come!

Enturbulate November 24, 2008 at 9:26 am

[re=184274]Serolf Divad[/re]:

Yes! You’d get all soft ‘n’ doughy and find yourself singing horrible folky songs off key while waxing nostalgic about living in a frozed hell-hole. And you’d eat nothing but “hot dishes” which as everyone knows are only casseroles but made with only extra-heavy cream, butter and egg noodles.

ella November 24, 2008 at 9:34 am

[re=184278]monty[/re]: How silly of me to think we’ve stopped spending money we don’t have.

Larry McAwful November 24, 2008 at 9:37 am

Bail out the homebuilders? Sure, why the hell not? Let’s bail out everyone, irresponsible business practices be damned.

We shouldn’t give the homebuilders a bailout so much as we should give them a government stipend to pay for housing the homeless in all those extra houses they built that they’re currently unable to sell. We could take care of the homeless, bail out the homebuilders and take care of all that unsold property, all in one fell swoop.

Is President-Elect Obama sure he wants Bill Richardson as Secretary of Commerce? Because I’m obviously a goddamned genius, and I want a new job, anyway. I’m available, Barack. Call me!

TGY November 24, 2008 at 9:42 am

I’m a supporter for Obama’s Extraordinarily Large Package.

Lazy Media November 24, 2008 at 9:48 am

Obama should totes attend All Souls Unitarian Universalist. It’s chock full of former yippies and other librul crazoids. Got to give Fox something to talk about in the next election, after all.

bonsai pajamas November 24, 2008 at 9:50 am

I view Obama’s large package favorably.

supremecourtjester November 24, 2008 at 9:57 am

Citibank got its loan–The Citi never sleeps–with the fishes.

Juan McMaverick November 24, 2008 at 9:58 am

[re=184283]TGY[/re]: I didn’t realize they made such large jock-straps.

finallyhappy November 24, 2008 at 10:03 am

Why can’t Obama join a synagogue to make up for years of secret Muslin worship? I will see that he
gets the special presidential plus secret service team discount if he joins my synagogue. Plus then he will have closer connections to those of us who truly run the world. We have fired the 12 guys who ran the finance part- they are now over at a Unitarian church.

Miller November 24, 2008 at 10:21 am

Obama’s large package loves basketball? I think this is the winsome lass called racism we see shaking her fat ass in the rap video we call America. Oh shit, that sentence was all racist too.


SayItWithWookies November 24, 2008 at 10:30 am

I knew Citigroup was in trouble last week when they sent me an email (they hold my mortgage — in much the same way that some teenage thug is “holding” the CDs that used to be in my car) with the heading “Citigroup strong, robust.” The text went something like, “Hey, we can’t even spell city, and we’re all pretty much either drunk or sobbing, but we’re doing great! Don’t worry ’bout us.”

NotLaughing November 24, 2008 at 10:30 am

Why in the hell is Bush in Peru?

NotLaughing November 24, 2008 at 10:32 am
Polly Sigh-Entist November 24, 2008 at 10:46 am

I don’t know about ya’ll but I am all about any type of proposals (bold especially) from those with extraordinarily large packages…

MarieDeGournay November 24, 2008 at 10:47 am

Mmmmmm, package.

NotLaughing November 24, 2008 at 10:48 am

<—tired of

Abraham Lincoln

Doris Kearns Goodwin

Team of Rivals


poptarts ' November 24, 2008 at 11:27 am

So, let me get this straight: the guy who bulldozed the forest behind my house, destroyed my driveway, sucked the water out of my lake for his retention ponds, built a bunch of ticky-tacky (and empty) McMansions on fill-dirt, effectively turning my property into a giant bowl that put my house 2 feet underwater during Tropical Storm Faye, wants a bail-out?????? Developers and the majority of builders are scum. Let them eat dirt.

Sans the Diaper November 24, 2008 at 11:37 am

Poptarts sounds like Thomas Friedman.

poptarts ' November 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm

[re=184382]Sans the Diaper[/re]: That’s a result of a huge amount to self-restraint and a healthy dose of editing. Otherwise, I’d sound like Ted Kaczynski.

sossajes November 24, 2008 at 12:37 pm

team of rivals
steam of rival

steamo frival

steam… up.. friv[o]l[ous]?

Is he going to make soup from everyone who got the bailout?

Homo Motors November 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm

So… we get black genitalia and money, too?

I’m finding this hard to swallow.

bitchincamaro November 24, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=184282]Larry McAwful[/re]: My reaction is less humanitarian: let’s tear down the McMansions that replaced the housing torn down by the McMansion builders and throw up some wind turbines or some turnip patches. Either way.

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