Wonkette
Here’s your presidential boyfriend’s weekly “video blog,” which is we guess what we will be seeing for the next 18 years or whenever the world ends (check your bible!). What is this guy going on about, anyway? Jobs! Nobody’s got ‘em, except those who are about to lose ‘em, and that’s why Barack Obama wants everybody to go to his website and apply for a job. More than 200,000 “hopefuls” have already done it! Just please donate some money on your credit card, if you still have one that works, so Barack can have some $$$ to pay these 2.5 million people. Spread the wealth around, etc.!
Sweet, obviously I’ll fly to the interview in my private jet.
Does someone still have to stand there and hold up a stop sign to direct traffic when they do road construction? I would like that job please.
Oh, he said “dream deferred.” That’s code for “kill whitey.”
I went to Obama’s website to apply for a job. only catch is, you have to answer a bunch of questions first, then you’ve got to sign up for Netflix; you’ve got to sign up for one year of Comcast high-speed internet; you need to switch you phone to Vonage; you’ve got to sign up for six trial magazine subscriptions and you need to agree to be a survey participant for various marketing companies for a year. Oh yeah, they also reserve the right to substitute a “substantially similar” job if the one you want is out of stock.
I have a lot of respect for Barry, but I still think the Republicans are correct: TruckNutz for everyone is the only thing which can save the USA. If his plan is to socialize the production of TruckNutz, I’m all for it. I’ll quit my fulltime job grinding turkeys to work part-time in this glorious government sponsored venture.
This is not a good week at all for W (that being said, I don’t think he’s had a good week since July 2005.)
First he gets seriously dissed by the G20. Now, the super edumakated black guy who is replacing him is acting more and more like he’s in charge with promises of jobs and shit.
Might as well send Dumbass back to Tejas so he can drink himself into a stupor and “choke” on a pretzel.
Man, I was feeling pretty depressed at the end of this week, but this video cheered me right up. I can’t wait for some fiscal stimulus and competent governance.
These next four years are going to be the death of snark.
ManchuCandidate: I really wouldn’t be surprised if Bush (or his cabinet) actually left office well before Jan. 20. At the very least, look for Geithner to be the lead man in any negotiations regarding Citi and other financial problems (he was already going to be involved as New York Fed chief, but I’d be really surprised if Paulson makes any meaningful decisions from now onwards).
I don’t need one of those socialist jobs. If I have a job, I’ll just have to pay my socialst taxes and marxist child support. Besides, I have a plan to buy my boss’ business and $250,000 a year, even though I have no money, no professional license, and the business doesn’t really make money.
For a soundbite like this, he should be underlit, like Blackula. Also, get the cue cards closer to the camera; he looks like he has wall-eye. Mad props, however, for the absence of the rote closing benediction, “God bless you…” yada, spoken to keep the fundies quiet.
I love the idea of Barry’s fireside YouTube chats, but the set has to be rethought. It is the most uncool thing he has ever done. That droopy flag, tacky small-town lawyer chair, the framed photo and don’t get me started on that old lady potted plant. Art directors/prop stylists of America unite! and give Hopey some help here. The unfortunate angle of the camera had his earlobes morphing distractingly with the top of the chair. I think we need to bring in Lori Goldstein and Mario Testino to get this situation corrected, ASAP.
PS. Take my advice but don’t listen to any other of these armchair pundits. Go, Barry, go!
I saw something on one of the news channels this morning that someone is suggesting that $15,000 be given to every household. I like that idea! I could take the fam on a cool vacation and come home to a foreclosed house and no job!!!
jagorev: I hate to get all serious on ya, but I just read the following and it hit me hard. THIS better represents the death of snark:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/22/world/asia/22myanmar.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper
American comedians have it easy.
I kinda wonder if Comedy Central might try to do something to help this guy out, or at least tell naughty jokes about these junta dicks.
Dear Obama,
I need a job but don’t want to be buildin’ something. Can some of those jobs your talking about be office type jobs where I get to hang out, surf the web, and listen to iTunes on the server all day? That would be swell.
Thanks,
Hooray for Anything
Scandalabra: The rule for broadcasts of this kind is that if you’re going to propose meaningful changes and a progressive agenda, you want to look as dowdy and old fashioned as possible to lull your viewers. I mean, that nice man with his droopy flag and tacky chair next to the old lady potted plant couldn’t possibly be a communist Muslin, could he?
Similarly, if you have no new ideas and want to maintain the status quo, you use modernist furniture and abstract Philip Roth paintings in the background and wear a turtleneck
facehead: Bush and Cheney are saying “Why the fuck didn’t I think of that!”
American prisons would have been even more crowded, but that LockUp show on MSNBC on weekends would have been a hell of a lot funnier!!!
Barry, are you really sure you want me working for you? I’m not even close to being vetted. My god, when those homeland security dicks see my passport, they usually get out the anal probe and scent smelling dogs. That’s not so bad really if you get a guy with workingman rough hands however.
I don’t know about the rest of you suckers, but I’m gonna illegally immigrate to Tijuana to find a job there before the Mexicans wise up an block up those turnstiles.
http://z.about.com/d/gocalifornia/1/0/f/t/2-P1060007.jpg
weekend Wonkette! hurray!
facehead: not sure if you’ve seen my other posts to you, but they’ve found you out over at rebuildtheparty.com. Redtubes was so good…got any others up your sleeve? I’ve killed to many braincells the last few days to think of anything interesting
jagorev: I hear what you are saying. (I love Philip Roth’s books but I’m unfamiliar with his abstract paintings). I am not uncomfortable with Obama coming off as conventional, but everything from the graphic design employed in his campaign to the extraordinary use of the internet has looked progressive and tuned in. The chats so far have looked cheesy. And there is nothing else cheesy about BO, know what I’m sayin’?
Ken, if one of us were to really apply for a job with the new administration and we have to answer question #63 or whatever about our internet “handles” and such, are we obligated to list out Wonkette screen name, and if so, do we need to list former avatars if we were once banned for being cretins? Hypothetically, of course.
Scandalabra: Oh, right, I meant Mark Rothko, not Philip Roth. The inability to tell the difference proves that I learned nothing in my four years of expensive liberal arts college education. At any rate, governance requires cheesiness, and I’m not sure “real America” could handle a hip, non-cheesy President.
Scandalabra: The set for these chats should be something cool, like the Who Wants to be a Millionaire set. I hear it ain’t doin much these days.
jagorev: A Rothko would def look odd decorating a fireside chat, but I hope (forgive me for using such an ineffective word) that cheesiness is on the wane. Maybe they will use Mies van der Rohe Barcelona chairs in the 2014 State Department photo-ops. Princess Sparkle Pony would probably give that a French-manicured power hoof up!
Borat: Sup dawg, yeah, I’ve been a bit delinquent in my Wonketting duties, but I did see they deleted my masterpiece and had a consequent sad. As if anything but porn could help rebuild the republican party… will they ever learn?
Well, there is one (non-x-rated) idea. All by itself, the following isn’t so funny, BUT, if it was number one with the most votes, THAT would be funny. Meditate on that… THE MOST IMPORTANT IDEA TO REBUILD THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS TO DESTROY WONKETTE:
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/71306
This suggestion has been up for a long time, so it looks like they won’t delete it. Unfortunately, the Wonkette editors have given up trying to rebuild the Republican party, and I can understand that (if the repubs can’t recognize the wholesome goodness of TruckNutz, why bother?). However, I would have a revolution in my underwear if the editors of our blessed refuge could scrape the bottom of Pandora’s box to find some hope for my desperate idea.
jagorev: Besides, a Phillip Roth painting is probably one of the scariest images I can conjure. Think Lucien Freud . . .but more and less so. Better to leave it in Cheney’s bedroom.
Eh, best I can come up with for rebuildtheparty.com for now:
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/77109
Intention is to imply this is one of the bootcamps that are supposed to make you not gay - we can send all republican kids to.
Scandalabra: Thats a peace lily-and those old plant ladies are pretty cool.
That’s not very subtle. Even still, it may probably seem like a good idea to the genius wingtards. My idea for rebuilding the GeeOhPiss would be to have lots of super hot strippers go door to door on house calls, and really work to get out the vote.
Borat: you’ve got my vote.
I only wish it were more explicitly anti-gay (because what is funnier than repubs who want to ungay the world?).
Keep on trucking, and SPREAD THE NUTZ!!!!!
BRING BACK CRYSTAL MANISCHEWITZ!!!!!!!!
As to that donating thingy, I’m getting pretty tired of the emails from my fantasy boyfriend David Plouffe (who is much hotter than Nate Silver!). Unless he’s emailing to invite me to dinner, he needs to cut it the hell out. I donated to Barry to win the presidency; mission accomplish & I have no money, stocks or IRA left, so please stop writing to me!
Borat: You have a supporter.
Serolf Divad: Fuck you for making my laugh so hard I spewed coffee on the keyboard. You know what a bitch that is to clean up.
facehead: I was thinking if it was too gay in the main header it would get banned to easily? Well, let’s see?
jagorev: Death of snark? Maybe in the rest of the so-called world, but here in our cozy refuge (aka verbal hell where decency goes to die), people who can find hilarity in abortions and truck nutz can probably find something funny in Lincoln and the Gettysburg address. (It was incredibly short, like he sort delivered it from the seat of his skinny-ass pants).
Borat: hmm… I’m gonna try to come up with a really gay anti-gay idea and see how far I get. Good luck to all.
And double plus good fucking A for the weekend wonkette action Mr. Ken Layne.
DustBowlBlues: Do you think they had WagonNutz back then?
Can I haz a job telling Barry which ties not to wear to his fireside chats…? ‘Cause I know I can do better than whoever’s doing it now…..
Why is Ken working on the weekend? Is it because of the new, slightly aggressive ads on the site?
Speaking of working on the weekend, I’m in New York for a project and I’d appreciate if one of you NYC Wonketteers could come down to my hotel room and shoo away the crazy person who is screaming at the top of his lungs beneath my windows.
He’s seriously bugging me.
jagorev: You seen to imply that Paulson has made some meaningful decisions to date.
Seriously, I’m one of those people who always look backward to predict the future (history major, that is) and the flailing about that Bush, Paulson et. al. are doing, the scatter-shot stimulus of mailing out chinese money to everyone, cash to banks that didn’t move the economy’s needle off empty, etc, seem to recall the Hoover administration. They know there is a problem, but are so buried in rigid ideology that they immune from the application of common sense.
Meanwhile, down in the well-governed Brazil, leftist Lula daSilva has eschewed ideological purity to use common sense, and it works. The cliche is that this is thinking outside the box, a phrase as meaningless as it is hackneyed. It isn’t thinking outside the stupid box, but refusing to be a slave to one narrow ideology.
Shit. That wasn’t nearly as fun as talking about trucknutz. That’s what comes from digging out your yellowed copy of The New Industrial State and leafing through it to find some explanation of what’s going on today. And then discovering, damn, this is a lot harder than I remember it being back in olden days when I was in graduate school.
But then I tossed it aside to read wonkette instead. Trucknutz!!!!
hockeymom: Those ads are way annoying, aren’t they? I don’t know a soul who’s ever bought anything because of an annoying online ad….
facehead: please please do, i’ve consumed far too much liquor and drugs this weekend to have a really creative hat on. then again, maybe that could work to my favor. looking forward to seeing yours
facehead: I can’t bear to read anything that has Myanmar or Burma in the url. I’ve spent the day brooding about 300+ cholera deaths in Zimbabwe, no clean water, no food and no admittance to the “elders.” And about the Dem Rep of Congo and the death and rapings and endangered animals at risk.
And then I ask myself, why the fuck are we flushing 12 bilyun a month down a sink hole known as Eye-Rack to the numbnuts who think this is a good idea and why isn’t there a large contingent of trained, armed, international troops ready to be deployed to Burma and the Country of Africa. What would the world think of the US if we got totally behind the UN, pushed them forward and said, “This is it. This is the goddam line in the fucking sand. No more genocide, no more mass killings, no more torture. It doesn’t matter whether you’re doing it to people within or without your borders. Tyrants and murderers, go find a hole and hide in it because the world will no longer tolerate you anymore than it will the destruction of the environment.”
If we’re the world’s last superpower, why not be a Superman superpower and save the fucking world?
And what has happened to me? Time to put the CS Monitor aside and watch OU beat the shit out of Texas Tech. Words I so, so hope I don’t have to eat.
Although to the people of Zimbabwe, it might be the first decent meal they’ve had in months. Can’t the CIA assassinate that fucker? What good are they, anyway?
facehead:
But, lo! Behold the next wave of NUTZ!
“Speaking of Walnuts, one of the newest products offered by LivingNutz is their mouth-watering Tahitian Vanilla Bean Coconut Creme. The word on the street is that it’s so good, couples are skipping the foreplay and heading right for the Tahitian Vanilla Bean Coconut Cream walnuts!”
- http://www.naturalnews.com/024858.html
- http://www.livingnutz.com/
DustBowlBlues: Keeping it light, go Sooners. Let’s hope they don’t fuck it up–again! I don’t want to see my beloved Sooners playing in the Gaylords Hotel Music City bowl game or some such bullshit game. (Sorry, too many Silver Bullets to comment on the serious aspects of post…) BTW: what part of that hell hole state do you live in?
facehead: If they didn’t have wagon nutz back in the olden, Lincoln-ish days, they should have. Would be a great photoshop project for someone with absolutely nothing constructive to do, to put up the Land Run painting and strap some nutz onto those covered wagons. Really update the ‘Run for the kids, to make history accessible.
What about us braindead slobs?
- You’ll be given cushy jobs!
Were you sent here by the devil?
- No good sir, I’m on the level!
The ring broke off my pudding can.
- Take my pen knife, my good man!
http://www.actionext.com/names_t/the_simpsons_lyrics/the_monorail_song.html
Texan Bulldoggette: Don’t tell anyone else, but I’m in the north-east-central, about 30 minutes from Stillwater, home of Silo Tech and an hour from Tulsa, home of sporadic pockets of sanity. I can’t name the exact place, lest my children find out what I’m up to. I got all wrath-of-Godish on one for skipping church, so I don’t want her to find out what a fucking hypocrite I am.
BTW–If our beloved Sooners win, will you get drunk for me since I don’t drink anymore. And Silver Bullets? Surely not Coors. You’re on wonkette and know Gaylord is the vortex of centuries of evil. Miller may be furriner made, but it’s union made, as well.
Gee. This weekend wonkette is turning everyone kind of warm and fuzzy. I’d better go call the abortionist and set up a meet so I can get my libtard mojo back. Hopey is turning me all soft and mushy. Junior Bush never did that to me.
Texan Bulldoggette: What part of Baja Oklahoma are you in? Know the old joke–It’s windy in OK because Kansas blows and Texas sucks? Texas is God’s country, because only God would have it. Texas is next to heaven, because it’s next to OK.
As am Oklahoman, I’ve always felt oddly Canadian. You know, that inferiority-resentment that comes from living on top of a much bigger, very asshole-ish neighbor?
Texan Bulldoggette: Yeah, I kind of missed my emails from David and then he wrote to ask me for more money for the transition. At least my new Guy, John Podesta, just asks me to watch Obama videos and write him notes on change.gov.
I already work for my NEW PRESIDENT(although I never felt like I worked for W)-I have a government job- although at the level at which no one knows me and no one ever will.
DustBowlBlues: Damn, that’s kind of sad you can’t be yourself. You really are Sybil.
Yes, I will drink for you (& anyone else who needs me to). I grew up in a sad town called Rush Springs, the ‘Watermelon Capital of the World’ (BTW no black people lived there … at least when I was growing up there) & where it was illegal to dance. (It’s where I learned to squat & pee without peeing on my shoes & all the ‘popular’ girls got knocked up when they were about 17.)
We had banquets instead of proms & then everyone went out & got drunk & knocked up. Whoo hoo, good times!
Goldang, I sure hope I can get me one of them New CCC jobs. Building new dams and model schools is honest work for a travelin’ man.
I think that’s a socialist tricoleur on his lapel. And I bet lapel’s a French word too.
facehead: i sined up and gave you a vote. good thing i didn’t need my dad to cosign.
~
Damn you, Ken Layne, you are *totes* on to us aren’t you!?
Hooray For Anything: Sorry, but that’s been my job for the past 8 years.
DustBowlBlues: O dear, I read about half your post and then quit … but if the rest of it involved cursing me out for being too serious and being sad, point taken. I momentarily lost my Wonkette cool.
Apologies to all.
Dear, dear DustBowlBlues: Texas Tech is in the toilet, and I, good sir, will be your proxy drunk…. however, I must say, I’m getting more out of this than you are….
Texan Bulldoggette: Okay, it’s late and they’re probably all in bed or drunk. I’m in a little town that you’ve never heard of, Pawnee. Make sure you don’t tell anyone.
I grew up in OKC, a typical boring, working class suburb then got married and after a just-post MLK assassination move to Memphis (they had a really, really big chip on their shoulder back then) moved with husband #1 to Seattle. I was liberal in OK, so think what it was like to be liberal in a place where relative to the tree-hugging, humorless pc freaks around me (sorry, Seattleites, but you know you are) I was sort of conservative. Retired early and here we are, living the life of that guy in the 1950s sitcom “I Led Two Lives.” Or was it three lives. What? It wasn’t a sitcom? WTF.
I’ve heard of Rush Springs, btw. Their watermelons are still legend and I think they must dance now, because their rep. to the state house is actually a good Democrat. Because Stillwell got there first, the state fruit is the strawberry. (That’s what lobbyists will do–how the hell are we the strawberry state?) but a couple of years ago, a state veg. was selected. Popular sentiment was, of course, for okra L(Go Okrahoma Sooners) but instead, because of the mighty power of Rush Springs, the state veg is the watermelon.
That’s right. Oklahoma’s state vegetable is the Watermelon because Oklahoma is an inherently funny state, except most okies don’t get the joke.
And, ugh–how can I bring this back to Obama’s jobs program? Oh, I know! None of the dumb shits down here are smart enough to shine Hopey’s shoes.
My compliments to everyone who is one quarter of football game away from puking in the toilet in honor of the fact I don’t drink to celebrate the Sooners kicking some Texas ass tonight.
Facehead: No, I didn’t curse you. Just the world that ignores the misery of countries like Africa and Burma. That’s sad. And damn, you didn’t read the whole post? Fuck, I didn’t put it into iambic pentameter, or anything.
TX Bull–What part of Tejas are you in? I told. You tell. If you live in Austin, quit whining.
DustBowlBlues: Sorry, no whining here. (Yes, I live in Austin.) I’ve heard of Pawnee but that’s about it. I do think it’s quite modern that your little hub of civilization has internet connection.
Scandalabra: Ohhh, man… Barcelona chairs are my secret object of lust. I would give my left nut to be able to afford one.
DustBowlBlues: Shit, I just re-read your post. You retired in OK!?!? It must be because it’s cheap to live there, because I can think of about 200 other places where I would prefer to retire (Gitmo, Cuba, any third world south American country). Shit, it’s about negative 30 degrees there in the winter & throw in the red dirt, ice & wind, & you might as well be in fucking Siberia. What the hell were you guys thinking??!!??
jagorev: snark will never die, as long as there is a
mooselini and a gingrich in the world.
Texan Bulldoggette: Agreed. I am unfortunate enough to live in Oklahoma and it sure as hell is not by choice. We currently have the very proud distinction of being the reddest red state in the country this past election. You might think Okies would be ashamed of beng so backwards. NOPE!!! We get wonderful politicians like Rep. Sally “Gays are worse than terrorists” Kern (who by the way has a gay son)
facehead: Excellent, I have given a few more votes to the Ban Wonkette idea on Rebuildtheparty (from some of my different personalities). It also seems I voted for that several days ago as well.
BTW, the Redtube idea still comes up if you go directly to the URL, but it is missing from searches.
I think they might have put some kind of IP based vote counter in place because my Boot Camp idea does not tally the votes it has received so far.
I will be back (for this interview)!!!!!!!!!1
Sachin
http://qtp.blogspot.com
The world ended in 2000. Isn’t it obvious?
Gridiron is retarditaire in the Age of the O — it’s so George Bush. It’s so George Allen. It’s so, well, George. Balls are round–B-ball or “football” as they say in French are cool. Oklahoma, in fact, will now have to change its initial vowel. Eklahoma? Aklahoma? Uklahoma? Iklahoma? Something for the boys with the big hats to ponder in the next session of the Klahoma legislature. No kidding,
http://www.lsb.state.ok.us/
WadISay: You’re so right on the “God bless us every one” nonsense. Good riddance! Particular don’t-let-the-door valediction to the generic “God bless” Reagan loved so much. God bless who or what? — the Surrealist Light Peoples’ Party? Al Qaeda? Tip O’Neil?
This is a test:
[IMG]http://i33.tinypic.com/vxc8w6.gif[/IMG]
On the big white screen behind Barack I want to see the Palin turkey slaughtering interview video superimposed over the Mukasey passing out video. I don’t know why.
P.T.T.: Yklahoma.
~
I favor UNklahoma, which I know will not fit on the current state letterhead because of the extra letter, but I don’t care. It’s Unklahoma for me!
That’s our Hopey! Takin’ charge and carryin’ out the plan of the day! Too bad we can’t request to have Tree Shrub Bush and Chinny hung from Marine One.
Lazy Media:
We also need new shitters in our National Parks and perhaps more lean-tos on the Appalachian, Pacific Coast, and Continental Divide Trails.
“The site is 42 miles in and 4800 feet up. Here are your tools and materials. Git movin’! If you see bears, run like hell.”
Wind farms “is” the perfect solution for retired republican blowhards. GW alone is worth a few megawatts of wind from his butt alone, and another few megawatts from out of his mouth. Can FEMA make sure there is lots of Listerine sent there? Get down wind from all that flatulence and halitosis, it is bound to be unpleasant without some sort of air purification system.
Coal might be cleaner.
Is that a portrait shot of Harlequin and Lords Judge?
Excellent–then the South Park team can craft a song about Unklahomafuckers.
Fine, I’m not working nights or weekends.
P.T.T.: How about N0klohomo?
I have the ability to drink.
Accordingly, I need a drink.
How hard is it to set up this workers paradise?
P.T.T.: That has got to be the crappiest home page I’ve seen since 1996. Does the Okleehomos have the internets.
I was browsing the senate artwork section, and there is a fine painting of Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart for no explicable reason. Maybe its for sale? Or he bribed most of the Senate at some point.
DustBowlBlues: Texan Bulldoggette: Small freakin world. Former Miami girl is in the house.
Pay for my mother
fucking
gas.
I think Chicago needs 2.5 million jobs.
FUCK YOU AMERICA
CHICAGO IS CHARGE
WITH THE OLYMPICS COMING AND SUCH.
Borat: Yes, tres gauche page d’accueil on de part o’ dem okies. I couldn’t find Sam Walton. But here’s a test. Which Bill was proposed by Republicans and which by Democrats?
SB2 2/2/2009 Motor vehicles; providing for In God We Trust License Plate. Effective date. Gumm(S)
SB15 2/2/2009 Poor persons; creating a pilot program for a comprehensive health program for the uninsured. Effective date.
Wilson (S)
Go SB 15. Rah-rah-rah.
Ha Ha trick question — Gumm be a Xtian socialist Democrat!
How come Wonkette signed on with the 999th visitor crap? How come? Gotta pay the rent? That’s what mama said when she started whorin’.
OkieHookerinEngland: Well, at least when people ask you where you are from you can just say “Miami” & leave off the OK bit. Most people will think you’re from FL (which is not Quite as bad, but there are a lot of dumb fucks in FL, too).
They have their own fark tag.
O/T (if Wonkette wasn’t drunk all weekend, I wouldn’t have to do this), but Nate Silver, at 538.com, writes:
Now, we can attempt to solve this equation at the statewide level. When we plug in a t of .499956 — Franken was picked on just slightly very less than half of the ballots during the initial count — we get a value for franken_net of .837. That is, Franken will gain a net of .837 votes for every 10,000 cast.
This makes my nipples hard.
jagorev: Abstract Philip Roth Paintings don’t exist, to be a hopey elitist you need to know these things, Mr. Obamaevelt needs some Walker Evans in the background.
Since the focus seems to have shifted to Okla-fuckin-homa, I don’t evah wanna hear any of you people bitchin’ about the lack of a weekend Wonkette! WTF!?
otisfatboy: I am so embarrassed, did not see previous posts regarding Roth Painting. Am now thinking Thomas Kinkaid and a wheelchair without arms.
Servo: It was never my intent to start a bash OKLA thread. Although it is great fun & easier than breathing…or mouth breathing in this case. That being said…go Sooners!
Texan Bulldoggette:
Despite their unexplicable loss to Iowa, my allegiance is always with Joe Pat & The Nittany Lions.
Christ! Whiskey sours working hard on my spelling. “Inexplicable”.
Servo: Sorry, I don’t know anything about that conference & cannot comment intelligently about it. One question, though, how damn old is Joe Paterno?
Texan Bulldoggette:
He probably remembers the Appalachians when they resembled the Himalayas. McCain was crashing kites.
Servo: Come on down to the reddest state EVA (and we have the dirt to prove it.) We can hep ya with your spellin and cipherin and your Oklahoma fuckin.
jagorev: Every step forward always seems bigger than it really is.
OkieHookerinEngland:
I’ll pass. I made it as far as Mississippi and Nawlins, both of which exceeded my comfort threshold. I wasn’t going to push my luck like Ned Beatty.
The great speaker is reading.
jagorev: I’d trade the death of Fox.
Texan Bulldoggette: young enough to kick your ass, pussy
rocktonsammy: Probably, but I can run fast, so I’m probably safe! I do admit when I see him on teevee, he seems spry & lucid, unlike Walnuts who forgot his freaking name on several occasions.
Scandalabra: You are totally correct that President Hopey needs some art direction. Can blingees be used on video? That would work for me. But don’t be giving him a crown or anything like that Camelot get-up Peggy Noonan wears. I think the Insane Clown Posse already went there.
rocktonsammy: I’d take Joe Pa’s wrinkled ancient ass as our head coach here @ Arizona over the moronic younger brother of Goatlahoma’s coach Bob Stoops. The Wildcats managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory once again. Hell, the dumbfuck Stoops even called a couple of time outs to help our opponent who had already run OUT of timeouts.
Things are just just completely fucked up here in AZ. My Wildcats have an untested interim head basketball coach after losing Lute Olson to a medical issue, our football team is coached by a moron who got the job because of who his brother is, and our governor may leave us in the hands of a right-wing wacko replacement and legislature.
OkieHookerinEngland: You mean Miamuh, don’t you? If you’re actually in England, fuck you for being there while I’m here and too poor to go there.
Texan Bulldoggette: Why am I here? You had me at cheap.
Texan Bulldoggette: P.T.T.:” Ha Ha trick question — Gumm be a Xtian socialist Democrat!”
WTF–Do you mean our own Paul Gumm? PTT Are you in Okrahoma, too? Sweet Jesus–is every other goddam person on this board in OK and we’re all hiding from each other?
It’s like graduating from college, coming out, the discovering that everyone on your floor at the freshman dorm was gay.
BTW–Wonkette got a shoutout in CSMonitor for the headline, Warm Democratic Body (? something like that) Beats Stevens.
We were called a satirical website. And that damned warm body Begich wants to open ANWR to drilling. Fuck him.
Any day now, Ken, Jim and Sara will be writing snark for the NYT or WaPo or The New Yorker. I just want to know if they intend to take the rest of us when they go big time.
ghardcastle: What town are you in? WTF–I thought I was the only okie who read this shit. Aren’t the rest of your Sooners afraid of going to hell for being on wonkette?
To support the Fairness Doctrine, I think it’s time to shit on Utah. Any Mormons members of the Wonkerrati?
<—Oklahoman here
By the way.
I found the Philip Roth painting thing very funny.
DustBowlBlues:
DustBowlBlues: DustBowlBlues:
<—always ready to dump on Utah.
Mostly because of my undying love for Orrin Hatch.
He makes me want to pop my cork.
bonsai pajamas: It sure is.
Oklahomans late at night!
bago: That’s all the reply I get?
I filled out my application, and I’m expecting a battering ram to crash through my condo door any minute. I filled it out with fun facts and nonsense, because I figured that even the FBI needs a laugh every now and then. I even sent my link to friends, in spite of the warning not to do such a thing. I loves me some Obama, but I love laughing even more.
Hey - do any of you people want sandwich ideas, for after Turkey Day? I am not writing a book about roasting, but I can make the HELL out of sandwiches. Having been unemployed and desperate, I know a few things about comfort food and putting flavorful fat into my living. If interested, please apply here:
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/11/turkey-leftovers-sandwich-ideas-and.html
By all means, one-up me.
Whaddya expect? I’m surfing between builds of a product I’m debugging.
wasn’t Geitner jagorev: Wasn’t Geitner the one who met with W last year and dubya thought he was an intern?
.DustBowlBlues: Oops, no Okie here–just another citizen of The Commonwealth of Virginia.
bago: “Oklahomans late at night!”
And cruising Wonkette because nothing else is open.
If Barry’s jobs program includes school, he should concentrate on Okrahoma. If these dumb fucks could read, maybe they wouldn’t be such easy dupes for the Southern Baptists and Bill O’Roilly. My friends 88 year old mother in law, who listens to the Xian/hate preachers is Barry was the anti-Christ and the end times are here.
Since election day, I’ve wondered if she’s come out from under her bed, or if they’re just shoving cans of Ensure back to her occasionally.