Wonkette
Oh hey Friday slow news day, etc.! The various news outlets keep insisting that Hillary Clinton has quietly (as quietly as she can do anything) taken up Barack Obama on his offer to be Secretary of Diplomatic Teas and Bombing Things, so we pass that information along to you, the reader. Did you know that Bill Clinton turned over the names of over two-hundred-thousand donors to his foundation and memorial dildo farm in Little Rock, so that his wife could have this job? True story!
Now, of course, Barack Obama will be able to just sit on this donor list, and anytime Hillary Clinton thinks about doing anything out of line or “going rogue,” he will just randomly pick a name off the list and be like, “Oh okay well I guess nobody will mind if I let it slip that Bill took a half-million dollars from this shady Kazakh billionaire pedophile Marxist guerrilla Bilderberg mastermind.” PROBLEM SOLVED.
This works out well for Hillary, too: She doesn’t have to wait for Ted Kennedy to die or retire so that she can fuck up health-care reform, again, and now she has a chance to really “make a difference” by doing whatever Joe Biden tells her to do.
Clinton Decides to Accept Post at State Dept., Confidants Say [New York Times]
Mixed emotions on this one.
BARAK CAN’T WIN THE BIG STATES
Yaaay! Yes?
Joe who?
Best she divorce Bill now, or we are all fucked.
This is great news for Hillary Clinton!
Doglessliberal: I ageee. I was pulling for pulling for Bill Richardson. He’ll be Sec. of Commerce, but still…
I’m already tired of this story. Why does everything Clintony have to be so fucking dramatic and overwrought?
Barry picked her because she has proven that she can take those 3am crisis phone calls.
Seriously, someone: Why the FUCK would she agree to do this?
I honestly DON’T Get It.
Anyone?
Finally the voices of her pledged delegates will be heard!
Dollars to donuts, Larry is fapping away at his Johnson over at No Quarter USA.
And Taylor is fapping at her Marsh as well.
Damn, Bill must really love her. Who knew?
Schadenfried: I just worry. This IS the Clintons, after all. And make no mistake, it is both of them.
He justs want to see if she will bring him coffee, like all good secretaries! Remember, Darlin’ the President likes his coffee strong and black.
I’m very happy. Especially because this means I won’t be getting any more emails from her campaign.
Obama’s a lot smarter than I am so I have to assume he has a better reason that she’s his first choice than I have that she’s my last. Not happy.
Nah, I can’t think a better place for Bill than visiting some school construction in Lesser Buttfuckistan.
Also, does this mean Hils is our new Princess Sparkle Pony?
My Obama boner just pulled a Mukasey.
Vewol Mevemont: Also, is anyone else getting tired of the proverbial Clinton ring-kissing that seems to have gone on since Bill’s been out of office and Hillary got in the Senate?
Yes, I know they’re the only Dems since Barry that have fought back against the Repubs; but it’s almost like they’re the Corleones of the Dem Party.
The Hillary Hairdo Alert System launches at level 0, “Boring”, where it will hopefully remain for the duration.
Measured against Condi, this is an outstanding pick
wow, what progress!
she’s going to break new ground!
she will be the first woman to be the third woman secretary of state!
I, as a fellow cougar, am thrilled!
WTG, Hillz!
Schadenfried: yes, a long time ago we did.
Someone on teevee said that she won’t go rogue because “As SoS she serves at the pleasure of the president” – am I the only one who has unpleasant images from this comment.
This story made possible by my hot anonymous tip. No, thank YOU.
TGY: ahhh yes. The Sparkle Pony Pantsuit Secretary Queen. She does have the jewelry to compete, I dont know about the shoes…. that could be worrisome.
How are those NOBAMA ladies handling this?
Looks like Obama got someone to answer the phone for him at 3 AM.
Neilist:
because, usually, carpetbagging seated senators from NY aren’t in a position to achieve something like a Nobel Peace Prize.
P Drizzle:
damn, you were the first person to see the home page of the new york times?
wow, you’re a regular deep throat to sara k’s bob woodward.
Dreamer: Shower, shower, shower.
I don’t really know what to expect with this, but I do agree that at least now Wonkette will have stuff to write about… it will be like Passions.
Hillz Billz
I’m a rolling thunder, pouring rain
I’m comin’ on like a hurricane
My lightning’s flashing across the sky
You’re only young but you’re gonna die
I won’t take no prisoners, won’t spare no lives
Nobody’s putting up a fight
I got my bell, I’m gonna take you to hell
I’m gonna get ya, Satan get ya
CHORUS:
Hillz Billz
Yeah, Hillz Billz
You got me ringin’ Hillz Billz
My temperature’s high, Hillz Billz
i bet harriet christian is finally going to bury the hatchet because her crazy rants had nothing to do with race.
Schadenfried: It’s ridiculous. I thought the Age of Clintonian Fear and Submission was finally over. But it’s never over. It’s never, fucking, god damn, over. Bend over and take another load of Clinton, America.
And you know what, they’re not bad policy-wise. They’re just stale. Stale and stifling. And Hilary is a shitty manager. But if they were a little bit more gracious, low key and open to new ideas/people, I would welcome their never ending series of political resurrections.
Neilist: One word: seniority. Or rather, lack thereof. Junior senator from New York doesn’t have nearly the glamour/power/impact as Sec of State. And actually I think she would be good at this job. If Obama thinks he can keep Bill ‘n Hill in line, I’m prepared to trust him…his judgement has been stellar so far.
This just in, Obama has announced that Hillary will be immediately dispatched to Papua New Guinea with orders to stay there until she can bring peace amongst the various cannibalistic tribes there.
blader: better put than me
azw88: the President likes his coffee strong and black.
Insert obligatory “just like his women” snark.
This should be entertaining. If Obama can wrangle two Clintons, the Iraq war, economic crisis, and global warming should be a piece of cake.
DonkeyPants: ha, ha, a boner with the vapors? that’s a poignant image.
Note to new SoS:
Smaller nations need to be visited too. They are not content with you pointing at them from the podium.
Schadenfried:
“Yes, I know they’re the only Dems since Barry that have fought back against the Repubs; but it’s almost like they’re the Corleones of the Dem Party.”
That’s true. But ascends in their place after he has finished serving, he’ll be like Tommy ‘The Black Caesar’ Gibbs.
metropolitan: Why yes. Yes I was. I’m so basking in my own up-to-the-minute-ness.
You guys think this is fun, just wait till the inevitable jockeying for NY Gov. happens. There will be 10 leaks/denials per hour that Hillary is seriously thinking about running should Patterson decide to not run, etc.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: That goes without saying, but I was thinking about writing, just like Chelsea likes her men, but remembered Obama says kids are off limits…. (which proves he is a muslin, since good Christians like Mark Foley and a host of catholic priests know that children are NEVER off limits!)
azw88: I like my Presidents like I like my coffee: Kenyan roast, vanilla sweetener.
Utterly meh about this — except, of course, for the soothing sound of exploding heads in the No Quarter/PUMA Axis of Assholery. Hee-Hee!
The pick of Clinton is excellent news. It will bring the State department (and the role of diplomacy generally speaking) back into prominence. A nice change from the trivialization of the Powell-Rice years.
Joe Klein suggests all the adults who will now (finally!) be running national security go away and have an orgy together:
“it might be a good idea for Clinton, [Robert] Gates, [ret. Marine General and probable National Security Adviser Jim] Jones, Obama and Biden to go off for a weekend retreat somewhere, have a few drinks and get to know each other.”
Where did the pic on the NY Times home page come from, anyway? Is that recent? Everybody is cooly in black. Even Hils is cool.
P Drizzle:
no offense meant, i’m really on your team here in the peanut gallery. i went several years sending them tips without any acknowledgement.
but let me show you a little trick (which will be wont work after they read this). if i found a AP story that was good, i would look it up in the asiatimes and send it in. that way when they posted the AP story but with a strange asiatimes url instead of yahoo or some other US newspaper i knew it was my tip.
god, it just made me feel so important.
TGY: Never mind. I should learn to read.
AxmxZ: or a Kenyan blend with some Indonesian beans in there, as those tend to add a nice sweetness and mellowness.
I guess we have to figure this deal was cut at the convention.
tunamelt: I expect non stop drama! Anything relating the Clintons is drama galore - to be charitable it might not be them but it is the people they surround themselves with. Just look at all the kooks like Lanny Davis, Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild and all of those loony supporters (the prominent ones).
hopefully President Obama will take every opportunity he gets to point out to both of them who lives IN THE BIG HOUSE NOW! MOTHEREFFER!
Whoa, I think maybe this appointment is a passive aggressive move. I’ll give Oboner this.
Vewol Mevemont: True, they were good, policy wise. During Bill’s administration, I was a temp, for a while, even though I didn’t have to many permanant jobs (I was still 20-something), I didn’t stay umemployed for long. I had steady temp work. During Bush the Dumber’s admin, I couldn’t get arrested, work-wise. Out of steady work for over two years; good news is, I worked on my writing. I’ve had this job now for over a year (and one of few that I’ve held that I actually LIKE, let alone tolerate), so hopefully, I can get a cost of living bump once Obama hits office.
Makes sense. Boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy appoints girl Sec. of State.
Hillary and all her cronies in the State Department, yay! Barack is changin’ and hopin’ so hard I might be getting hopelash and a change rash. I’m so glad we give away positions like Secretary of State based on the premise of “That oughtta shut the bitch up!”
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Neilist: Hillz can still be Preznit. In 2016 she’ll be 69 which is like 59 ’cause she has health care while the rest of us rot. Anywho, she can ride on Barry’s Unicorn coat tails and be the preznit. She can.
“The various news outlets keep insisting that Hillary Clinton has quietly (as quietly as she can do anything)” is seriously the truest statement that has ever been written about Hillary Clinton. I actually kind of like Hillary and I think she would be good at this job, but the woman and the people around her leak like the damn titanic. They can not shut their mouths to save their life. It drives me insane. And really it isn’t the most flattering quality in a SoS.
But on a snarky note….sniper fire landings every day!!! Woohoo!!
Can we haz ice cream now?
Fuck the Clintons. They’re a shitty Lifetime movie of the week. I’m too bored with them to bother with snark. What does make me happy is not having to read through 200 odd comments on every post. Just one more reason I’m glad the election’s over. The crowd thinned out so it’s easier to find Tunamelt, Angryblakguy, Shorts and all you other fucks who make me laugh. Yay!
Goddamit, I hope Bill doesn’t keep showing up and hangin’ around.
metropolitan: Heheh. ‘Twas my lame attempt at depressing humor, all aimed at an audience of one. But that tiny sign of recognition would totally give me tummy twinklies.
At first, I was, like, why why why would Obama want to do this oh noes, but then I realized that he can send the SoS anywhere he wants to for as long as he wants to (re Condoleaser)and make them (her)toe whatever line he wants to while they’re (she’s)there. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!!… and I took another little happy sip….
PUMA
jagorev: That sounds like some kind of seventies key party porno plot.
Oh, and Bill can tag along….
Whatever, I heard that the LA Mayor is on a shortlist for HUD and that’s all I care about hearing about right now. How weird.
sarahconnor: He’s resting comfortably and said do be doing fine.
This “team of rivals” nonsense needs to be taken back to the woodshed. Seriously- collegial debate is productive and all. But, Hillary’s passive-agressive dramas would make even little Jeebus cry.
Toomush Infermashun: yeah something tells me the SoS is going to be very involved in the Iceland economic situation for a lonnngggg time.
If only you children on Wonkette would have read Sigmund Freud (or Sophocles) BEFORE you went all crazy about Obama’s two lousy books.
tunamelt: If Tony gets appointed to HUD, that’s at least one guaranteed sex scandal in the next few years, so we’ve at least got that.
azw88: but remembered Obama says kids are off limits
I like your take better than mine, and anyway, isn’t Chelsea, like, 25 now?
Crap. I think this has mistake written all over it.
Sigh. Since no one has said it yet, I guess I’m obligated.
DO NOT WANT.
I mean seriously can we, as a country, get over the Clinton family? They’re an Arkansas clan of backstabbing retards who barely managed to hang on to the country long enough to get blown by a fat chick.
YES. THEM. I’M IMPLYING THAT HILLARY GOT THE SAME “TREATMENT”. (Bah, Fridays suck, because then you find out all the work you get to do on Saturday and Sunday.)
Leaving them in history wouldn’t make a serious dent.
Dave J.: The funny thing is you really can’t blame him. Have you seen those Telemundo and Univision female reporters. There’s like newscaster hot and then there’s Spanish newscaster hot.
The guys all look like silver foxes/male strippers and the girls are all beauty queens.
This is a terrible horrible no good very bad idea. No good can come of it. Bound to end poorly.
That is all.
Kev-o-tron: Yes, and they can stay in that ice mansion/hotel thing…. or is that Finland…? Anyway, until it melts….
tunamelt: I have to agree with you….Last February, I was down at the Telemundo headquarters in Mexico City making some kind of voice-over freebee, and that is the last word in hot female reporters…melting in lime juice….
town.Toomush Infermashun: I think Scandinavia will get about ten degrees cooler when the Ice Queen blows into town.
totally OT here but a weird little bit of irony. Sometimes when typing wonkette into mozilla I prematurely hit the enter key before the auto-remember kicks in. I am immediately routed to the imdb page for that god awful Oliver Stone flick “W”.
If Hils does the SoS bit and keeps her trap shut, BHO can pardon her for the Vince Foster thing.
Malcolm Gladwell (author of Outliers) was on Maddow last night and (a) was very forgiving of this business of Barry putting together an administration of long-term inside the beltway types, and (b) should engage in a contest with Nate Silver to bend and unbend spoons, using psychokinesis.
WadISay: I was thinking about the Tipping Point this morning and wondering what’s the lethal blend of economic collapse, gay anger and crazy white supremacists that would lead to civil unrest.
tunamelt: I did a Google image search for Telemundo Reporter. hot. damn.
jagorev: They should go on a little hiking trip and, at a remote, quiet location, bury Gates up to his neck and slather his head with honey. The only reason he has any credibility is because the previous occupant of that position had all the military talent of Ambrose Burnside and the administrative skills of a Sufi hermit. Eric Shinseki for SecDef.
It looks like our editors left us with a Hillary topic to endlessly discuss over the weekend. I’m logging out and heading to the liquor store for a bottle of gin…
How are the PUMA people processing this little bit of news? Anyone check? I don’t want to look, they scare me.
Do they hate Obama more because of this? Does it confirm for them that he really doesn’t know what he’s doing and needs Hillz around to hold his hand? Do they still just secretly want to fuck him?
Scandalabra: check out “joe the forum”….
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53&page=3
So who gets Hillary’s senate seat. I, for one, am hoping it’s Spitzer.
Rodney Badger: I just checked a couple of PUMA sites. It seems like they’ve either moved on to obsessing over Sarah Palin, or have taken the SecState appointment (which pissed off some of the more hardcore Obamatards) as furtherproof that Hussein Nobama is a no-good, backstabbing, lying Muslin.
I am not joking.
hrhkingfriday: You guys are all in the chatroom, aren’t you? You whores.
Rodney Badger: My mom’s a Clinton lady and she’s pumped. Upset about the criticism though. I have to say I agree. If you’re looking for experienced Democrats to fill your cabinet a Clinton Democrat is practically all you’ve got. We’ve had ONE Democratic president in like, forever. If you were a Democrat in DC over the last sixteen years that was the only game in town.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Ashley Alexander Dupre? I hear she’s looking for work…
tunamelt: We are in the chat room, and grendel is getting double stuffed.
So yes, we are whores.
Kev-O-Tron: If you’re looking for experienced Democrats to fill your cabinet a Clinton Democrat is practically all you’ve got. We’ve had ONE Democratic president in like, forever. If you were a Democrat in DC over the last sixteen years that was the only game in town.
This is very true and probably why I want to cut people for bitching. Please be aware of reality, you paint huffers.
hrhkingfriday: Shorts got banned. Developing.
tunamelt: I’m hoping the Mayor of LA doesn’t go to HUD and instead decides to run for Governor where he’ll be running against my Mayor, Gavin Newsom, and the whole campaign will be one big huge contest to see who’s sleazier. Good times.
jagorev: I pretty much believe anything anyone tells me about the PUMA.
Kev-O-Tron: And who gives a shit if he picks Clinton people? He could pick every Clinton person and put him or her in the exact same job and I’d do fantastic backflips. The 90’s ruled.
Secretary of State: Where Senators go to retire.
Is it me or is this like the hundredth time Clinton has ‘unofficially’ officially accepted the SoS offer? Maybe she can sell her senate seat to pay her campaign debts!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Wonderful. NoBama’s given the various GOP factions all the cause and opportunity they need to pull together and ressurect from the ashes in mutal Clinton hatred. They don’t even have to write a new script, just dust off their 90’s hits.
Let the Second Great Moral anti-Clinton Crusade begin. The race to commence Project Contract with America II: The Revenge begins in 5… 4…
Hey, if we’re lucky we’ll even have Newt back in the House leading the GOP charge in 2010!
Rodney Badger: SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS is now PANTSPANTSPANTS
Rodney Badger: Oh that Joe the Plumber guy banned shorts, but he is totally unaware of my other identity, “pantspantspants.”
That’s one way to avoid a nasty Primary challenge in 2012. Does this mean we are now at war with Iran? Hillary is itching to show some tin horn despot who wears the pant suit.
There are now 18mm bullet holes in someone’s ceiling in Bosnia.
Rodney Badger: It’s not “changey” enough for the really ardent supporters. I’ve been in the tank since 2004 but even I expect him to govern from the center. But I’ve never been a big Clinton hater either. I would have supported Hillary all the way if she won. But…Anonymous Office Zombie: you’re right. The Clinton’s can really inspire some vitriol. But fortunately all the hot air in the world from Coulter, Malkin, Limbaugh, etc is only going to piss off the moderates more. Stupid fucking AM radio dipshit fundies are dying off and I couldn’t be happier.
Hooray For Anything: Whoever uses the most self-tanner, teeth whitener and hair gel wins!
Seriously, they’re both aspiring John Edwards.
shortsshortsshorts: Maggie Mae is getting pissed. I like her little retort about a “forum for like minded people.” right… like stormfront, redstate, LGF and malkin’s blog are so “left of center”. She just missed the registration window and nobody reads her shitty blog.
I’d like to invite you all to troll this idiot’s blog. She’s a HUGE bitch and is in need of some classic, liberal tolerance.
http://moderncommentaries.blogspot.com/
Hooray For Anything: I finished puking outside of some bar in San Francisco and turned around to see Gavin Newsom hanging out by a limo with a gaggle of whores. This was when he was married (for the first time). I actually talked to him for a little bit, but can’t remember what I said. I probably insulted him though because I was going through my insult famous people while drunk phase. A few weeks prior I called James Van Der Beek a kike, and Pedro Feliz a shit-eating cocksucker.
My point is that I agree with you that Gavin Newsom is a whore, but the Mayor of LA cannot win unless he chooses Pedro Feliz as his running mate.
Personally, I think Sindbad would have been a better choice.
Kev-O-Tron: She has adsense. If you troll her blog, you might accidentally make her $.02.
tunamelt: She perma-banned me for calling Palin a pro-idiot. This lady is nuts. She get’s crazy mad on Malkin’s site and goes ballistic about anything she views as anti-religion. I’m off to ballroom dancing lessons with the girlfriend now. Have a nice weekend commenters. And good news: no layoffs this week!
Kev-O-Tron:
Well, let’s hope the AM Radio Conservative crowd shrinks into an impotent Paultard cult. As long as NoBama has made it absolutely clear to both Hillz and most especially Billz that they’re on a short leash, we’ll have to accept it.
But, I swear, if the Clintons give us another year-long witchhunt against the president, I will personally strangle them both to death with Monica’s blue dress.
tunamelt: Both? You mean Obama with his $20 haircuts and shoes with holes in them? If anything, he is more of an aspiring Joe Biden.
Doglessliberal: I like my coffee like I like my women: ground up and stored in the freezer in polyethylene bags.
Stinkin Paws: Newsom and Villaraigosa are aspiring Edwards.
jagorev: Ewwwwwwww, a sausagefest.
tunamelt: Thanks. Sorry I hadn’t yet figured out the format. I think I can re-construct a thread now.
… this is sleepy.
tunamelt: Stinkin Paws: Hooray For Anything: Newsom is a fucking joke. He barely beat Ralph Nader’s running mate in his first run for Mayor and has no chance at any higher office. He’s peaked. His run for Governor will be hilarious, short, and career-destroying. Do not cry for him, though. His family owns every bar in San Francisco and a bunch of wineries in Napa. He will spend the rest of his days stumbling in a post-sex hangover from his Pac Heights mansion to the Balboa Club wearing only boxer shorts and a v-neck t-shirt.
Comment 10,974
Guess we be stuck wit the bitch
Anonymous Office Zombie: But wait…the wingnuts love Hillary now. Remember all the praise they threw at her when Obama took the lead? Why Hannity and O’Reilly couldn’t praise her enough and have all of her flunkies appear on their shows. What, do you think they were doing that because they were just being cynical?
Rodney Badger: Newsom’s political career is pretty much shot anyways as he’s Mr Gay Marriage now. He might have been heroic and right about that but it’ll doom him. Plus, he’s not that great of a Mayor.
Anonymous Office Zombie: Personally, I think AM talk radio will be on the upswing with the nutcases needing a pressure valve for their political anger. The other day I actually saw an advertisement for an AM talk radio show on television. I’m still puzzling over what this could mean, but it can’t be good…
Anonymous Office Zombie: I thought Monica was saving that blue dress as ‘insurance’ for her ‘old age’, ie, sell it on e-bay…
or would that dress go directly to Christies?
Neon Trotsky: Apparently, they’re too busy hyperventiliting that Obama will use the Fairness Doctrine to pull the plug on all their shows to notice anything about Hillary.
Hooray For Anything: It makes you wonder: where would the modern American conservative movement be without cognitive dissonance?
Well, they keep saying, “It is better to have her inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in”. I don’t think that is a good enough reason to make her sec. of state though. And I can’t think of another reason. Oh well, mebbe if I have my 4th scotch I’ll come up with one.
Hooray For Anything:
Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder. Totally forgot how Rush and company recently discovered Hillary is inspirational slighted woman, and that feminism is important and sexism is bad[re=183908]Neon. So, how many minutes after Hillz is appointed before they return to the old script? 10 maybe?
Neon Trotsky:
Probably, but I’m hoping for upswing in intensity with total listenership numbers remaining stable within that 25% or so die-hard base. If they start winning the hearts and minds of the independents on the other hand, this is going to suck.
sati demise:
Oh, I’m just going to borrow it. She can have it back once the deed is done.
kapish: That pretty much qualifies anyone for the job. Piss and tents do not go well together, especially canvas tents. I’d like to see her piss out of a Suburban.
Try this…Hillary won’t blow any heads of state…she may however mow a few lawns….which the heads of state wouldn’t want to do…de tant…one more powerful use of the tongue. Then there is the reaming of the round brown, I see a place for the past president, I can get my head up your ass, lickin all the way the skull and bones special, you just cum.
So who photoshop-copied these Secret Service dudes?
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/11/21/us/politics/clinton_600.11.jpg
um did anyone just see the extremely awkward interaction between david shuster and rachel maddow at the end of shuster guest hosting countdown?
Conformity through paranoia. If she steps off the line, it’s blackmail by the black male.
Lets see, Obama has gotten rid of three long standing democratic senators and two governors by appointing them to his cabinet.
Thats change nobody counted on.
Well played Mr. President-elect.
I think they really meant Secretary of Squawk.
Could it be that the President-elect, based on what he knows of Hillary Clinton, feels that she will make an excellent Secretary of State?
blader: “Measured against Condi, this is an outstanding pick”
Measured against Condi, a random pick from the wonkerrati would be an improvement.
Dreamer: ” Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild and all of those loony supporters (the prominent ones).”
Oh, shit, I’d forgotten that crazy bitch-whore. Do you think she’ll be in the picture again? Last time I saw Lady Fuckhead, she was being wildly entertained by Sarah Palin as she cheered on Bible Spice and delighting at the moron’s every word.(Larry–Note apostrophe in correct place, even though I feel like such shit I should have license to put apostrophes wherever I want).
Canmon (the Inadequate): “Spitzer?” I don’t even know her.
Obama just blew 2012. What an affront to the Hillary women ! They know he’s just patronizing them.
Hey, wait a minute ! I think I said that about McShame when he picked Eliza Knowlittle. Okay…let me get my bearings. The Hillary women were ready to vote for McShame because of everyone’s treatment of Hillary. Then, when McShame picked the loathsome nitwit, they were angered at the cynicism and ploy and went back to Obama. Now, they will see through Obama’s pick and will align with…uh…let’s see…hmmmm…I got it !! Ron Paul !! Yes, Ron Paul…oh wow, what a scoop ! The Hillary women are going to vote for Ron Paul because he’s so adorable, sexy and a straight shooter.
As for Palin. She’s gonna kill her Thanksgiving turkey by biting off his head…on camera. By the way, where has First Dude been hiding lately. He still owes the RNC for the $ 40,000 worth of crap he got at Men’s Warehouse. I guarantee it…you betcha.
Nonono it’s Hillz dream to take Bill along on some SoS assignment and while there, manage to get caught blowing some preferably conservative contributor….setscene: interview w/disturbed press: “Well, it WAS my turn….”
Rodney Badger: They’re still excited that Alan Keyes WHO IS A BLACK MAN is sticking up for AMERICA and THE CONSTITUTION by suing to alert the American people that Barack Obama is a KENYAN MOHOMMEDAN
Barry should have put politics aside and simply searched for the guy (there /must/ be one) who has had sex with Condi Rice. That dude would know how to take the 3 a.m. call.
jagorev: YES
Weeping Jesus: Sexist!
OKAY new ad system beginning to FREAK ME OUT NOW. Whatevs you gots to make the monies, but SERIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD.
Disappointed. I was hoping he would pick Maggie Gyllenhall for the secretary post. She would have made a much better pick for this peculiarly nicknamed position of Secretary of Bitch on a Leash.
This appointment is called “how to shut up the bitterz” bitties division & billz division. for evah.
So right now I have to login, skip the ad, go BACK to Wonkette.com, and then post a comment about buttsecks er feces or something. Huh.
Neutralized!
rocktonsammy: Wait, who are you talking about? I count one current Dem governor (Napolitano) so far, and one current Dem Senator (Clinton). Daschle’s a former Senator, but he’s been out of a job for, uh, 6 years I think. I guess Richardson is rumored to be getting something (Commerce) but otherwise I don’t see how you got your number.
donner_froh: No, that’s just crazy talk.
You know, he could reach across the aisle and name Ted Stevens ambassador to some country that we don’t have an extradition treaty with. Like, oh, Alaska after they secede, maybe?
Am I off-base thinking Barry’s going to wait until mid-term before naming some of the people he’d really like to appoint? Like Rick James? Or Ellen Degeneres. I’m down with either.
Lionel Hutz: If only.
donner_froh: That would be excessively generous of him.
Also, if Obama is modeling this whole thing on an “enemies cabinet” like the one Lincoln had, he should remember that Lincoln is dead.
ALRIGHT eie M out fer Blud NOWS! Tiem 2 kil teh seeples!!!1!1!!!1!~!
FRIDAY IZ MUNDANE AND MUNDANE IS UNRECOGNIZABLE. OMG LOL JK FOB GTH OUR WY ITR EIE PS.
OH AND LAST THING B4 weekend vacation timez. STOP FUCKING pointing me to stupid ads. That is what the Washington post or NY Times is 4. I emphasize 4.
Gimme dat sweet, sweet Wonkette feeling, or you will be DOOMED to SECKSIELAND.
I’m the One Millionth visitor. Can’t touch me.
Neilist: Afraid she’ll lose in a primary fight next time she’s up for re-election?
But do we reaally know who Hillary Clinton is?
FreshCliches: win.
OK, that list of people who’ve donated will come very useful next election season. Screw $500m, lets get $1b
TGY: It hardly has to do with Billz luv for Hillz. She has built up so much currency against him over the years, this only probably cost her one chip (of hundreds)
I’m not a huge fan of Condi but she’s much hotter than Hillz. Do you think they’ll share hotel rooms while Hillz is in secretarial training? Oh yeah…
jbd: All y’all Yankee elitists are just jealous because the Clintons are better than you. You and your fancy northeastern upbringing and “sexual continence” and whatnot can’t get over the fact that these so-called hillbillies have about 30 IQ points on you, and have blasted out of their socioeconomic class like the Mars mission W never quite got around to. Meanwhile, you’re meandering along with your English Lit degree from Williams, wondering how to pay off six figures in student debt through a combination of sub-editor and barrista jobs.
The Clintons rule. I’m glad Hopey won, and I think he’s got a chance to be a better preznit than Bill was (and certainly better than Hillary would ever be), but the Clintons are my dawgs. Fuck a bunch of haters.
Anonymous Office Zombie: The Clintons didn’t cause the witch hunt. The New York Times did, with their bullshit investigation into Whitewater, which led to an open-ended special prosecution, which led to a bullshit court decision to force a sitting president to be deposed in a bullshit sexual harassment lawsuit. Without the Times’ shitty journalism, there’s no Ken Starr, and Monica Lewinsky is just a pleasant twinkle in Bill’s eye.
jagorev: Richardson would make two govs, and Hopey and Biden are the other two Senators. But we were sort of anticipating those two, so, yeah, don’t add up.
Lazy Media: Thanks for saying all that. I have always understood two things about both Clintons. They are good-hearted, and they are canny, which is a rare combination, but I think we’ve struck it lucky again in Obama.
Bill’s concessions include: agreeing to install a motion detector on his fly; placing his chubby interns in a blind trust, taking down his profile on eHarmony. (c) Courtesy: Worldwide Pants Inc.
Doglessliberal: After 8 years of Bush/Cheney. you’re worried about the Clintons?
“Madame Secretary, welcome to our country.”
“Mister King Person, don’t piss me off today. Or tomorrow. Or any day. Your little country sucks. Now sign the goddam treaty or I will unleash the hounds of hell on you and my husband will screw your wife, your daughter, your poodle and your goldfish. And where’s my fucking tea, you jerkwater sexist asshole?”
Weeping Jesus: After winning what some call a landslide election i see only one proble for barry appointing rick james to a cabinet post. He’s DEAD
Lazy Media: win. And hollow mea culpas aside, please don’t leave out the NYT stellar suckup coverage of the buildup to the war(s).
TeddyS: Sweet! Unleash Hilz bitterz energy out to the world’s weenies. It’s fun to think of Billz as the debt collector.
I thought the sec. of state was supposed to be a wise person, skilled in diplomacy, with his or her finger (I refuse to say “their finger”) on the pulse of the world chess game. I guess I was wrong! The sec. of state just needs to be famous. The androids take care of the rest.
vBulletin Message
You have been banned for the following reason:
inciteful disruptive out to hurtforum
Date the ban will be lifted: 11-29-2008, 12:00 PM
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=1
Lazy Media: Well, you got that 100% right.I am proud to say that I have never paid for a copy of the NYtimes since the first week of the Whitewater fuck fest from the forgotten boxes of documents to this very day. At first I thought I would be missing news but soon found that if I just randomly dipped into the recycle bin and started reading it was the same crap for weeks at a time. I get all the news I need from Wonkette and my mother who watches teevee all day and calls on the phone if it’s going to snow a lot or something.
Weeping Jesus: I have to say. Rick James is pretty fucking dead right now. Like not career dead, but actually, like DEAD.
I can’t wait for the confirmation hearings . . . maybe it’s a setup to get rid of the Clintons for-once-and-for-all ?
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1028#post1028
vBulletin Message
You have been banned for the following reason:
purposely hurting site
Date the ban will be lifted: Never
joe really doesn’t like me for some reason. Maybe he will like you people! I don’t know why I can’t be one of the cooool kids on Joe’s forum, but I keep trying and he keeps banning me! Won’t someone help a pair of shorts out? Poor me.
monty: shortsshortsshorts: Well, yeah, but is his corpse older than 35 and native born?
your doin it wrong shorts, you gotta blend to be subversive.ie.
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/showthread.php?t=84
that guys got it goin on
I think Hillary should’ve divorced Bill several years ago, but since she didn’t, her round-the-world travel baggage is all the heavier.
That being said, of all the leftist illuminati Obama could’ve appointed, I think I trust Hillary’s concern for national security more than anyone else’s.
more of his good reads
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1046#post1046
monty: You sir, are a true patriot. Country fist! ..errrr… first!
Aluminum fooil for everyones!…
if this clinton worship keeps up (and i love bill as much as the next hetero, white male trial lawyer) we’re going to drift into reagan gay republican marriage with him. that being said, this is a total win-win for bubba. hillz gets this job, gets a pretty significant prestige bump over the alternative, and continues to keep the clinton brand playing on the big stage–and she maintains some chance of becoming president in 2016. and the icing? she has to be in other countries almost all the time. someone send the jet to go get gina gershon and all the rest.
Senator Clinton may make a wonderful Secretary of State. Here’s why I’m apprehensive.
Tom Tomorrow 31-mar-2008 “Hillary Clinton’s six-point strategy.”
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2008/03/31/tomo/story.jpg
shortsshortsshorts: I’m trying to figure out WTF you said over at Joe the Forum. Man you really pissed them off to the point they are ready to sic the dogs on you.
p-Sludge ofTheElves: I’m not thrilled either, but the entire urination in or out of the tent thing does make some sense. If she and her klan are at State they’ll have to produce or be accused of what State is always accused of: sitting on their butts being all elitisty. If they are working out of the Senate she’s more likely to start magically renaming everything: “my 18 million votes mean I’m preznit of several states,” “Obama isn’t really black, he’s white. I’m the one who is the victim here because I wear pantsuits,” etc. That talent to pretend a fork is a spoon will work well in a number places where they’ll just be shocked she does not have male genitalia. It seems Hopey’s strategy is let the Clintbots do the Clintbot Show. If the wingnuts come after them Hopey can say, look you’ve become a distraction, ciao!
Bill and Roger Clinton should be under-secretaries for sex and drugs! Our boys in Iraq need more booze and whores, and who better to help them out than Bill and Roger!
Zhu Bajie
Kev-O-Tron: SOS = Shit on a Shingle! Probably what the new poor are going to eat on holidays!
Zhu Bajie
Vewol Mevemont: “I’m already tired of this story. Why does everything Clintony have to be so fucking dramatic and overwrought?”
That and Michael Jackson. No shit, it is boring, ain’t it?
shortsshortsshorts: This is what I got banned for from Joe’s website:
You have been banned for the following reason:
Unintelligent, disruptive and noncontributing behavior.
Date the ban will be lifted: Never
I’m so glad to hear they have such high standards. In all honesty I wasn’t very evil yet, just stupid.
This is a fine appointment. My Lord, who did you want? Richardson? That fatty would be out in a year. Mrs. Clinton is fine. There was never going to be a time in the next 20 years that the Clintons would be out of the news (hell, Jimmy Carter shows up at crap for crissakes and he’s a moralizing twit of Al Gore proportions). Put her at State where she will be happy and not “giving Barry the business” in the US Senate. I mean, Wonketteers are among the smartest, snarkiest people I know but this notion that she’s a bad appointment (for whatever reason) is ridiculous. I think she’s got more right to be SoS than John Kerry or Bill Richardson. She sure as hell has more cache overseas than those two blowhards.
Nice work Barry, and same on Timmy at Treasury.
HC is the worst choice ever.
Jesus Christ.
I guess Bill really wants her on the road doesn’t he?
Who gets her senate seat? Chelsea?