Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ahh, what’s that smell? Now that the election is over and there’s a brief respite from the never-ending stream of bullshit, we can catch a whiff of sweet romance! They don’t call the period after a new president’s election a “honeymoon” for nothing. Let’s enjoy this brief window of love-addled happiness before the hellscape re-engulfs us with these fine romantic cartoons.
Clicking cartoons makes them bigger! Click click! Do it!
OK, so this cartoon is actually from months ago, drawn by a Lebanese cartoonist about some kind of world AIDS conference in Mexico. Isn’t it delightful? See, the world is united as one to fight AIDS, in Mexico, which why it is sporting a charming stereotypical Frito Bandito mustache, and, of course, and enormous sombrero made out of a condom … and … a halo, maybe? And instead of a bandolier, our saucy bandit is instead demonstrating his AIDS awareness with a red ribbon. Oh, and the condom-halo-sombrero thing is jiggling at you, suggestively, because our Mexican AIDS bandit wants to make sweet, hot, safe love to you, right now, in his mountain fortress.
And our Mexican Safe Sex Love God has inspired the rest of us to such amorous thoughts! Just look at our future president as the Dem donkey takes him on a tour of the palace from which he will rule us like a king. Obama and the donkey demonstrate the two different reactions people have when denied the aphrodisiac of power for years and years; the walking political symbol regards Bush’s stained sex chair with obvious distaste, whereas Barack is ogling it with bedroom eyes, clearly planning on hitting it “donkey style” with his party’s beloved logo-beast.
Naturally, that romp with Barack on the chair awoke the Dem donkey’s inner polymorphous pervert. When Joe Lieberman came crawling back, saying he’d been “bad” and needed to be “punished” … you know what, I can’t write this anymore. This cartoon features what’s either a freakishly giantified donkey or a terrifying Lieberman-homunculus, and the former is using a noodle to whip the latter on his ass, which is naked, and which you can see. It is an abomination in my sight, an insult to the dignity of the republic, and an affront to all right-thinking people everywhere.
The Lieberman cartoon does have one thing going for it, mind you: It makes this cartoon, in which a swimsuited Sarah Palin grinds her woman-parts against the bleached and long dead bleached bones of the GOP elephant in a desperate attempt to revive its corpse with her sexual heat, look kind of dignified, in the sense that we can’t see anybody’s naked ass.
Obviously things are just going to get tawdrier from there. Here we see the sad aftermath of another love affair gone wrong, in which the American Car can’t get through its head that the nights of showing up at Congress’s door for a quick booty call, which always ended up with a little cash in its pockets, are at long last over. Will the Car ever find a love like that again?
Here, we see the American Car industry and Congress in happier days, when Congress would just stuff money up the auto-industry’s anus into the depths of its broiled corpse. This is frankly the best metaphor anyone has come up with in this context ever.
Oh my god. That Liberman cartoon is simply horrifying.
No joke. I went into a bar once wearing a giant fake moustache and a triple magnum condom stretched over my cranium in lieu of a hat, and I got more ass than a toilet seat that night.
Why does Sarah Palin have a dicknose?
I’m almost with you, O King of Curmudgeons, about the Palin cartoon….EXCEPT FOR THE SHOES!!!!! Now I won’t be able to eat lunch, supper or breakfast tomorrow….good thing there’s still drinking…
OMG…I’ve been flashed by a Lieberman cartoon. I smell lawsuit.
That Lieberman’s ass cartoon is the possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve seen on Wonkette. Ever.
Palin either has lots of dirt, black hair, or track marks all along the inside of her arm.
NoWireHangers: Wait. I typed that before I saw the “Palin humps mastadon fossil” one.
Luckovich is god.
4tehlulz:
I hope that’s a setup for a wickedly concise and side-splitting punch-line.
“I’m Joe Lieberman, and I approve of wet noodles on my ass.
And if you stick around, I’ll show you my superfluous third nipple.”
“(If you keep spanking me.)”
How much longer ’till the Friday “Noonan Blingee”?
If you thought Lieberman was really hot, that cartoon would be your porn of choice.
Lieberman’s smile will haunt me til the end of days.
All of these cartoons make me feel dirty inside.
im not sure but…. i think that first cartoon the sombrero is made of a condom and a diphragm(sp?) or aone of those nova ring things.
The guy that drew the Palin cartoon really is not very good at drawing. Also, is that an elephant or a dinos…oh, I get it now.
Here, we see the American Car industry and Congress in happier days, when Congress would just stuff money up the auto-industry’s anus into the depths of its broiled corpse.
Actually, I think that is the best metaphor ever.
I actually LOL’d when I saw that thing labeled “The Car” getting ready to do a sex wee on the door of what appears to be either the White House or the Supreme Court. I think a picture of a Republican with a gas hose crammed up his tailpipe would be equally murky in terms of metaphor.
NoWireHangers: I don’t know, shoving bills up GM’s ass while he yells “More Stuffing” is really freaking me out. Seriously, I’m disturbed (which of course means I’m going to e-mail to everyone I know).
Thank GOD Toles put a label on that wheeled thing. There’s no way I would have understood the metaphor otherwise.
Rush: Here’s a teaser-excerpt from Noonan’s weekly victoriana: “The appointment is so surprising that everyone’s inner Machiavelli is working overtime.”
I’d rather see a turkey stuffed in the Turk-o-matic poultry juicer than read her bilge, but I’m developing a callus on my gag reflex (ulterior motives, though).
“Circumcise my ASS, you Nevada Whore!!!!!! Oh, Yeah, tell ol taillgunner Joe how you are gonna make me your bitch, Reid!! Talk not so dirty to me”
gurukalehuru: Maybe it’s a compromise woolly mammoth?
The things I have seen cannot be unseen…
Please no more Lieberman bare-ass pictures. I will never sleep again.
The look on Joe’s face says “mmmmmm…more noodles!”
That old elephant a just a little life left in it before Barbie got her caribou crackin’ thighs wrapped around it’s neck.
If you thought turkeys were really hot, that cartoon would be your porn of choice.
Theodorick Of York:
“a just a”?
“a just a”?
HAD just a…
Curse you AO Zombie and your infernal “type fast and submit without editing” advice.
I have no more…I think I’ll go see what Thompson and McCain are doing these days.
Mustang: I am sure some people do think that. As Dan Savage’s column has proven, there is a fetish for everything.
Until I saw the comments, I didn’t realize at first glance that Lieberman was bare-assed in that cartoon. So I looked again. Damn all of you.
I would have sworn that the donkey was going to fist Lieberman….
http://www.secureourdream.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=22
Remember this place? OT but…. give love a chance.
Not a halo, Josh. It’s a cock ring.
I’m waiting for the Gary Larson punchline on the Palin ‘toon.
NewSpence: He does look like he’s saying “Ohhhhh…myyyy” just like Droopy Dog, doesn’t he?
Doglessliberal: Exactly. Substitute Sarah Palin for Lieberman or the turkey, and these cartoons would cross the line. I find it amusing that they are really really perverted, but they are out there as political cartoons.
In the past, I’m sure I would have found that cartoon about Barack Obama looking amorously at the chair to be disturbing. But ever since we got that new couch in September, I know what it’s like to love a piece of furniture.
Don’t worry in case you come over: we always clean up for guests.
shortsshortsshorts: Shorts im registered there also. an honest debate is what we need and im sure ill find it there
Why is the turkey covered with (pubic) hair?
About that thing labeled “the car” — why is it a bus?
Uuummmmm, I need to sue somebody for the Lieberman cartoon. We are talking massive. Emotional. Damage.
Shortsshortsshorts: That’s hilarious.
On a darker note, if this Furbanger person who writes this column repeats himself any more I’m gonna start shoving turkeys up his ass.
Looks to me like that Donkey just pulled a tapeworm out of Lieberman-as-a-boy’s…
Ugh, I can’t even finish typing my snarky comments, I feel ill.
shortsshortsshorts: you are my freakin hero for life for that link! it’s painful to laugh that hard!
You forgot to mention the bowl of money in the last cartoon is trembling with anticipation.
NoWireHangers: Lieberman ass isn’t even close- the most disturbing image on Wonkette ever has got to be this:
http://wonkette.com/403258/california-would-like-some-bailout-billions-too
4tehlulz: Cause she’s a dirty, filthy liar.
Elephant? I thought the point of the cartoon was that Palin was riding a dead dinosour who was alive 7,000 years ago.
Gleep!: Good God, yes. I think it may have rendered all subsequent photography (and Western Civilization itself) redundant. It is a vital metaphor for our troubled times.
Liebermann should get the cat’o nine tails!
Zhu Bajie
donner_froh: It’s one of those semi-cloned mammoths!
Zhu Bajie
That’s a vibrating ring on the Mexican, ay caramba.
Shouldn’t PALIN be giving the dinosaur bones a lap dance?
Or…wait a second…there’s that plan to revive the woolly mammoth…