Love Is In The Air

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ahh, what’s that smell? Now that the election is over and there’s a brief respite from the never-ending stream of bullshit, we can catch a whiff of sweet romance! They don’t call the period after a new president’s election a “honeymoon” for nothing. Let’s enjoy this brief window of love-addled happiness before the hellscape re-engulfs us with these fine romantic cartoons.

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OK, so this cartoon is actually from months ago, drawn by a Lebanese cartoonist about some kind of world AIDS conference in Mexico. Isn’t it delightful? See, the world is united as one to fight AIDS, in Mexico, which why it is sporting a charming stereotypical Frito Bandito mustache, and, of course, and enormous sombrero made out of a condom … and … a halo, maybe? And instead of a bandolier, our saucy bandit is instead demonstrating his AIDS awareness with a red ribbon. Oh, and the condom-halo-sombrero thing is jiggling at you, suggestively, because our Mexican AIDS bandit wants to make sweet, hot, safe love to you, right now, in his mountain fortress.

And our Mexican Safe Sex Love God has inspired the rest of us to such amorous thoughts! Just look at our future president as the Dem donkey takes him on a tour of the palace from which he will rule us like a king. Obama and the donkey demonstrate the two different reactions people have when denied the aphrodisiac of power for years and years; the walking political symbol regards Bush’s stained sex chair with obvious distaste, whereas Barack is ogling it with bedroom eyes, clearly planning on hitting it “donkey style” with his party’s beloved logo-beast.

Naturally, that romp with Barack on the chair awoke the Dem donkey’s inner polymorphous pervert. When Joe Lieberman came crawling back, saying he’d been “bad” and needed to be “punished” … you know what, I can’t write this anymore. This cartoon features what’s either a freakishly giantified donkey or a terrifying Lieberman-homunculus, and the former is using a noodle to whip the latter on his ass, which is naked, and which you can see. It is an abomination in my sight, an insult to the dignity of the republic, and an affront to all right-thinking people everywhere.

The Lieberman cartoon does have one thing going for it, mind you: It makes this cartoon, in which a swimsuited Sarah Palin grinds her woman-parts against the bleached and long dead bleached bones of the GOP elephant in a desperate attempt to revive its corpse with her sexual heat, look kind of dignified, in the sense that we can’t see anybody’s naked ass.

Obviously things are just going to get tawdrier from there. Here we see the sad aftermath of another love affair gone wrong, in which the American Car can’t get through its head that the nights of showing up at Congress’s door for a quick booty call, which always ended up with a little cash in its pockets, are at long last over. Will the Car ever find a love like that again?

Here, we see the American Car industry and Congress in happier days, when Congress would just stuff money up the auto-industry’s anus into the depths of its broiled corpse. This is frankly the best metaphor anyone has come up with in this context ever.