painful to watch

Awful Video of AG Michael Mukasey Collapsing

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Ugh. Why do we even post such things? Breaking News, etc., that’s why! So do us a favor, commenters, and try to control yourselves, show some class, &c., unless Mukasey has specifically done something personally horrible to you. We have no useful update, to this old dude just falling over and people shouting OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST CALL SOMEBODY. He is in the hospital somewhere in/around Washington.

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


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  • The Dude

    That’s terrible. Hopefully he gets out of the hospital quick and healthy.

  • Bjorn

    Poor guy.

  • Amy Alkon&#39

    Certainly I don’t wish ill on the man; he hasn’t committed nearly as many crimes as his predecessors. But speaking to the knuckle-draggers at the Federalist Society isn’t earning him any cred with his maker.

  • Neilist

    If it’s a stroke, and he’s brain dead and on life support, will he be heading the GOP ticket in ’12?

    I mean, there’s historical precedent.

    Consider the last eight years.

    (Why are we supposed to get all “caring” when some unethical, self-serving asshat finally keels over?

    What’s next?: “Oh, that poor Mr. Hitler. Died in that terrible Walther PPK gun mishandling incident . . . .”)

  • J

    Has Limbaugh blamed Obama for this yet?

  • ladymacbeth

    good god, is there ANYTHING good about the tee vee?

    no i didn’t think so.

    v sorry for the man and his family.

  • enoughstuff

    It took 22 minutes to watch 22 seconds. Buffering is kinda like judgement day. Hope the ole guy is ok.

  • dontquitnow

    Well it’s a good think Richard Wolffe and Joetheplumber were there to ease him to the floor. Wait, what was Richard Wolffe doing there? And so close to the podium?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    What the fuck?

  • dontquitnow


    It’s a good thing.

  • DoktorZoom

    My god…no snark here. That’s just scary to see.

  • AxmxZ

    Poor dude.

  • populucious

    Just heard on the radio that he appears to be fine, awake and in good spirits.

  • ghardcastle

    Poor guy. Hope he’s ok.

  • facehead

    [re=182969]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ha! Ha! shorts is so stoned right now.

    Idk anything about this old dude, so I do feel some sympathy. But strictly speaking the Palin/Couric interview was way more painful to watch.

  • wolfcatcher

    keep wokin’ out there buddy, you’re lookin’ better every day!

  • qaf

    I can honestly say that it’s probably best for the country if he’s incapacitated. But I can also honestly say that I wish him a full recovery and gain no joy from his suffering. Just not that receptive to schadenfreude, I guess. Joy from others’ suffering is so right-wingnut.

  • Simony

    The ALPHA packs contain: 300 mg Meclofenoxate; 15 mg instant and 40 mg delayed release mixed amphetamine salts; assorted vitamins.

    The AG is IIRC medically cleared to receive catecholamine blockade stimulants (by eg. photostim EEG) before confirmation.

    He is, however, 67.

    Then there is that godamned speech, tonight.

    Then that godamned vasospasm. Let’s hope so, because he’ll likely be intact…if he were a rock star, call in two weeks for “nervous exhaustion”.

  • Lord Foppington of Dandyshire

    eh, shit happens.

  • OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

    I couldn’t watch it. I despise conservatism to an extreme degree, but I don’t want to watch them suffering. That’s awful.

  • druranium

    [re=182985]Simony[/re]: Please clarify. Are you a doctor or a Prescott Pharmaceuticals rep?

  • Simony

    [re=182990]druranium[/re]: Ahahah! Thank you: I had not seen “Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.”

  • qaf

    So did they hunt down the heckler and rend him (or her) limb from limb?

  • qaf

    [re=182989]OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin[/re]: Me neither.

  • Maus

    I don’t wish ill on the man, though I do wish the rest of the federalist society meet the same fate.

  • abirato

    Is that Joe the Plumber coming to the rescue?

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    No snark. From what I’ve heard, Mukasey is a pretty good guy, and has started to repair the shambles that were the Department of Justice under Gonzalez.

    I guess that the best we can hope for is that because he was speaking to the Federalist, he had half his brain removed to keep at their level.

  • Mojopo

    Oh my God! What were they serving?

    No, of course that came out wrong. How sad. How grim. I’m sorry for the man. No really. A stroke, for sure. That’s so sad.

  • Mojopo

    [re=182985]Simony[/re]: That sounds like Kieth Richard’s blood test.

  • JBH

    Isn’t this the conclusion of the plot of mediocre but mildly enjoyable Kevin Kline/Sigourney Weaver comedy Dave. He’s just finding a way out so he can return to his normal life and let the real Mukasey (who’s been comatose all along) die in peace.

  • tallulah

    i dont understand what the big deal is. looks like he got a case of the stage sleepies. happens to me all the time.

  • gurukalehuru

    No sympathy for any member of this administration. They can all die.

  • tropaean

    Man, talk about a tough room.

    I thought the Federalist Society folks only stole the life-essence from small children. I guess it goes to show just bad the recession is getting.

  • Borat

    My bleeding heart bleeds for him and his family.

  • Them

    Hey, I was meeting my boss to attend a hockey game tonight and some guy made a left turn right in front of me (slamming on my brakes and clutch — yeah, I drive (or drove) a stick — I snapped the clutch in half) and there was a hellacious smash. (Did you know that when your airbag deploys, the inside of your car smells like the sulfur that certain South American a-holes attribute to our Presidents? It’s true, and W was nowhere near my car).

    So my drive is likely totaled, and this, after throwing $5K at sundry repairs just a week ago.

    All this to say: Hey, someone had a worse day than I did. But mine, I’d say, was plenty awful for my tastes. If only I was an evil Republican who could absorb such financial disaster.

  • llyn

    [re=183011]gurukalehuru[/re]: sooner would be better

  • chowkster

    I wish it were Scalia or Thomas.

  • Bearbloke

    Hey, isn’t this the same act Iran-Contragater Bill Casey pulled back in 1987, just before he was supposed testify… just sayin’…..

  • FindFuckandFlee

    Eh. The bile in my throat from the outlandish freeper responses to Obama’s grandma’s death lingers. In the way that this makes me feel sad and human. He just looked small and helpless. Speedy recovery to this, so far, pretty unremarkable AG. The federalist society is representative of, uh, pretty much everything I hate as far as disingenuous Constitution humping goes, but this was seriously a bummer.. Especially compared to the raging hardon I could have achieved watching Cheney at a handpicked gathering of yokels at the local Golden Corral getting soul raped by an ancient beast composed mainly of motionless wind and lost souls? Thanks.

  • palmerdawg

    [re=183003]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: What are you nuts? Karl Rove is still on the lose.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the last 3 or so seconds before he passes out, he reminds me of the Teddy Ruxpin I had when I was kid after the batteries were running dead. I’m gonna have nightmares tonight!

  • PandoraSpocks

    Am I the only one who has paid so little attention to the administration that I had idea who the AG was anymore?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …maybe they forgot to wind him up, like all the other Bush-bots?!

  • IntergalacticSlut

    [re=183034]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Please don’t remind me of toys that talk and move. They ‘amind me of Chucky.

    And no, PandoraSpocks, you aren’t alone there.

  • Servo

    Wrong type of batteries. He requires lithium, but they put NiMH in him.

  • rambone

    We put the ass in class.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=183037]IntergalacticSlut[/re]:…for your viewing PLEASURE!!! Muhahahahahahaha!!!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=183045]rambone[/re]: …we also put the cock in caucus!

  • gurukalehuru

    Don’t leave us with this for the weekend. Seriously, that would suck.

  • donner_froh

    Anyone who is a member of the Federalist Society or who agrees with it enough to address it deserves a stroke–at least.

  • Weeping Jesus

    The way to relieve the near-tragic element of this video would be if they superimposed Palin prattling happily away in the foreground, oblivious to the sad scene behind her.

  • Weeping Jesus

    [re=183046]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Not nearly as creepy as those Furby creatures they were selling in the late 90’s. We locked one in a closet and it kept awakening and literally shrieking to be let out. We finally had to take a hammer to it. And still the eyes wouldn’t close.


  • sheldy13

    that wasn’t so difficult to watch man I do that all the time and I’m not even half the age of that guy and nobody puts me on tee vee and everybody all acting surprised.

    I popped that on and I was thinking dang that guy is old he could go any second now and whoops! There he goes…(of course there was also a small chance it was the guy from the six flags ad and he about to start dancing…)

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    That’s an unfortunate brand placement.

    I’m never staying at a Marriott again.

  • Cape Clod

    AG has not been a lucky assignment in the Bush administration. Two out of three have landed in the hospital and the third was so criminally retarded that not even a disease would touch him.

  • Deepthroat

    Have we tried putting “Yakety Sax” over it? That song always makes things hil-LAR-i-ous! (HA! HA! sax.)

  • dannygutters

    Worst roast performance ever.

  • 4tehlulz

    Word is he’s recovering nicely. Understandable; he probably wants to avoid the unpleasant visit that Ashcroft got from Gonzo after his surgery.

  • frailamerica

    [re=183057]sheldy13[/re]: Seriously. Only if watching someone fall asleep is difficult to watch.

  • Weeping Jesus

    [re=183062]Deepthroat[/re]: If you haven’t seen the Yakkity Sax version of the Passion of the Christ, get ready to go to hell.

    The best.

    The Hitler one is okay, too.

  • Vewol Mevemont

    Mukasey is a fairly decent guy and certainly vastly superior to Gonzales or Ashcroft. I’d guess that being in this administration is somewhat stressful, particularly if you’re not vacuous and/or a misanthropist.

  • elZaphod

    “and we must remain true to our uh our our….Two weeks. Two weeeeeks!!”

  • PandoraSpocks

    [re=183035]PandoraSpocks[/re]: I meant NO idea. Christ.

  • BigDupa

    Lesson learned, when dining at the Marriot Wyndam Park, avoid the fish at all costs.

  • p-Sludge ofTheElves

    He knows too much. Like Ken Lay.

  • pedestrian rage

    If I was a freeper, I’d say this was all a clever ploy to avoid answering subpoenas.

    Fortunately, my cortex is still attached to my brain; thus, not a freeper.

  • ALIVE!

    [re=182980]facehead[/re]: This is the post of the day. Both parts. Thank you.

  • the cold war makes me hot

    This is very sad for him. Liquified turkey, cranberries, stuffing, and mashed potatoes make for a horrible Thanksgiving dinner.

  • Polly Sigh-Entist

    [re=183034]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: you know they are selling the Ruxpin again at Costco…


  • TGY

    Cleaning up after Fredo would be hard on anybody.

  • sanantonerose

    I only wish it was Bush.

  • Reefpilot

    So, what’d he drop?

  • Miller

    Do you think it was a Lohan-esque exhaustion or if the crushing reality of his inept, unethical tenure at the DOJ just came crashing in on him in a crescendo of failure, guilt, regret, flop sweat, and lightheadedness?

  • angryhippopotamus

    For anybody who is interested, the best way to get your well wishes to the Mukasey family is actually to call your friends abroad and express your sympathies to them.

  • ph7

    How much do I know
    To talk out of turn
    You might say that I’m young
    You might say I’m unlearned
    But there’s one thing I know
    Though I’m younger than you
    Even Jesus would never
    Forgive what you do

    And I hope that you die
    And your death’ll come soon
    I will follow your casket
    In the pale afternoon
    And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
    Down to your deathbed
    And I’ll stand o’er your grave
    ‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead

  • Datsun510

    [re=183181]angryhippopotamus[/re]: WIN!

  • ellie

    I saw this on my local news with the sound down and no chyron to tell me what the hell was going on, right before I went to bed. It was very confusing.

  • Dave J.

    The Wall Street Journal editorial page is already claiming that he wouldn’t have collapsed had he just wished someone MERRY CHRISTMAS earlier in the day.

  • Snarkfest

    Thank God he didn’t pull a Bush Sr. I was eating breakfast while forcing myself to watch this.

  • IntergalacticSlut

    [re=183046]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Dude. I just ATE. Damn.

  • Keram2

    [re=183076]Weeping Jesus[/re]: It has been a long time since I have laughed out loud at something on YouTube. Thank You. Thank you very much.

    As far as Mukasey collapsing goes, I hope he and his family are okay.

  • qaf

    [re=183181]angryhippopotamus[/re]: Fucking brilliant.

  • bonsai pajamas

    Egad! you’re a bunch of pussies! All except for this guy:

    Neilist: “Why are we supposed to get all “caring” when some unethical, self-serving asshat finally keels over?”

    Christ! I can see there’ll be no decent rape and plunder with you nicey-nice people in charge. And I waited sooo long! Screw this democratic bullshit! I’m go back to being an anarchist.

  • bonsai pajamas

    Oops. That was a typo. Isaid “I’m go back to being an anarchist.” I meant to say: ME go back to being an anarchist.

    The gods fuck up too, ya know. The karmic dart that struck Mukasey was actually intended for the former AG, but he was down in Texas with Cheney smirking at an indictment at the time. The gods send their apologies.

  • bonsai pajamas

    All snark aside, there are rivers of the blood of innocents left in the wake of this administration. While Mukasey may not have been onboard for most of it, it’s safe to say that were he a decent man he would not have been selected by this administration. The fruit does not fall far from the tree.