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PAINFUL TO WATCH

Awful Video of AG Michael Mukasey Collapsing


Ugh. Why do we even post such things? Breaking News, etc., that’s why! So do us a favor, commenters, and try to control yourselves, show some class, &c., unless Mukasey has specifically done something personally horrible to you. We have no useful update, to this old dude just falling over and people shouting OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST CALL SOMEBODY. He is in the hospital somewhere in/around Washington.


1:16 AM on Fri November 21 2008
By Ken Layne
3672 Views

  1. The Dude says at 1:20 am, November 21st, 2008

    That’s terrible. Hopefully he gets out of the hospital quick and healthy.

  2. Poor guy.

  3. Amy Alkon' says at 1:26 am, November 21st, 2008

    Certainly I don’t wish ill on the man; he hasn’t committed nearly as many crimes as his predecessors. But speaking to the knuckle-draggers at the Federalist Society isn’t earning him any cred with his maker.

  4. If it’s a stroke, and he’s brain dead and on life support, will he be heading the GOP ticket in ‘12?

    I mean, there’s historical precedent.

    Consider the last eight years.

    (Why are we supposed to get all “caring” when some unethical, self-serving asshat finally keels over?

    What’s next?: “Oh, that poor Mr. Hitler. Died in that terrible Walther PPK gun mishandling incident . . . .”)

  5. Has Limbaugh blamed Obama for this yet?

  6. ladymacbeth says at 1:34 am, November 21st, 2008

    good god, is there ANYTHING good about the tee vee?

    no i didn’t think so.

    v sorry for the man and his family.

  7. enoughstuff says at 1:39 am, November 21st, 2008

    It took 22 minutes to watch 22 seconds. Buffering is kinda like judgement day. Hope the ole guy is ok.

  8. dontquitnow says at 1:41 am, November 21st, 2008

    Well it’s a good think Richard Wolffe and Joetheplumber were there to ease him to the floor. Wait, what was Richard Wolffe doing there? And so close to the podium?

  9. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:43 am, November 21st, 2008

    What the fuck?
    FAIL.

  10. dontquitnow says at 1:44 am, November 21st, 2008

    Thing.

    It’s a good thing.

  11. DoktorZoom says at 1:44 am, November 21st, 2008

    My god…no snark here. That’s just scary to see.

  12. Poor dude.

  13. populucious says at 1:54 am, November 21st, 2008

    Just heard on the radio that he appears to be fine, awake and in good spirits.

  14. ghardcastle says at 1:58 am, November 21st, 2008

    Poor guy. Hope he’s ok.

  15. facehead says at 1:59 am, November 21st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Ha! Ha! shorts is so stoned right now.

    Idk anything about this old dude, so I do feel some sympathy. But strictly speaking the Palin/Couric interview was way more painful to watch.

  16. wolfcatcher says at 2:00 am, November 21st, 2008

    keep wokin’ out there buddy, you’re lookin’ better every day!

  17. I can honestly say that it’s probably best for the country if he’s incapacitated. But I can also honestly say that I wish him a full recovery and gain no joy from his suffering. Just not that receptive to schadenfreude, I guess. Joy from others’ suffering is so right-wingnut.

  18. The ALPHA packs contain: 300 mg Meclofenoxate; 15 mg instant and 40 mg delayed release mixed amphetamine salts; assorted vitamins.

    The AG is IIRC medically cleared to receive catecholamine blockade stimulants (by eg. photostim EEG) before confirmation.

    He is, however, 67.

    Then there is that godamned speech, tonight.

    Then that godamned vasospasm. Let’s hope so, because he’ll likely be intact…if he were a rock star, call in two weeks for “nervous exhaustion”.

  19. Lord Foppington of Dandyshire says at 2:30 am, November 21st, 2008

    eh, shit happens.

  20. OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin says at 2:31 am, November 21st, 2008

    I couldn’t watch it. I despise conservatism to an extreme degree, but I don’t want to watch them suffering. That’s awful.

  21. druranium says at 2:31 am, November 21st, 2008

    Simony: Please clarify. Are you a doctor or a Prescott Pharmaceuticals rep?

  22. druranium: Ahahah! Thank you: I had not seen “Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.”

  23. So did they hunt down the heckler and rend him (or her) limb from limb?

  24. I don’t wish ill on the man, though I do wish the rest of the federalist society meet the same fate.

  25. Is that Joe the Plumber coming to the rescue?

  26. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:21 am, November 21st, 2008

    No snark. From what I’ve heard, Mukasey is a pretty good guy, and has started to repair the shambles that were the Department of Justice under Gonzalez.

    I guess that the best we can hope for is that because he was speaking to the Federalist, he had half his brain removed to keep at their level.

  27. Oh my God! What were they serving?

    No, of course that came out wrong. How sad. How grim. I’m sorry for the man. No really. A stroke, for sure. That’s so sad.

  28. Simony: That sounds like Kieth Richard’s blood test.

  29. Isn’t this the conclusion of the plot of mediocre but mildly enjoyable Kevin Kline/Sigourney Weaver comedy Dave. He’s just finding a way out so he can return to his normal life and let the real Mukasey (who’s been comatose all along) die in peace.

  30. tallulah says at 4:08 am, November 21st, 2008

    i dont understand what the big deal is. looks like he got a case of the stage sleepies. happens to me all the time.

  31. gurukalehuru says at 4:27 am, November 21st, 2008

    No sympathy for any member of this administration. They can all die.

  32. tropaean says at 4:37 am, November 21st, 2008

    Man, talk about a tough room.

    I thought the Federalist Society folks only stole the life-essence from small children. I guess it goes to show just bad the recession is getting.

  33. My bleeding heart bleeds for him and his family.

  34. Hey, I was meeting my boss to attend a hockey game tonight and some guy made a left turn right in front of me (slamming on my brakes and clutch — yeah, I drive (or drove) a stick — I snapped the clutch in half) and there was a hellacious smash. (Did you know that when your airbag deploys, the inside of your car smells like the sulfur that certain South American a-holes attribute to our Presidents? It’s true, and W was nowhere near my car).

    So my drive is likely totaled, and this, after throwing $5K at sundry repairs just a week ago.

    All this to say: Hey, someone had a worse day than I did. But mine, I’d say, was plenty awful for my tastes. If only I was an evil Republican who could absorb such financial disaster.

  35. gurukalehuru: sooner would be better

  36. chowkster says at 5:07 am, November 21st, 2008

    I wish it were Scalia or Thomas.

  37. Bearbloke says at 5:13 am, November 21st, 2008

    Hey, isn’t this the same act Iran-Contragater Bill Casey pulled back in 1987, just before he was supposed testify… just sayin’…..

  38. FindFuckandFlee says at 5:22 am, November 21st, 2008

    Eh. The bile in my throat from the outlandish freeper responses to Obama’s grandma’s death lingers. In the way that this makes me feel sad and human. He just looked small and helpless. Speedy recovery to this, so far, pretty unremarkable AG. The federalist society is representative of, uh, pretty much everything I hate as far as disingenuous Constitution humping goes, but this was seriously a bummer.. Especially compared to the raging hardon I could have achieved watching Cheney at a handpicked gathering of yokels at the local Golden Corral getting soul raped by an ancient beast composed mainly of motionless wind and lost souls? Thanks.

  39. palmerdawg says at 5:22 am, November 21st, 2008

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: What are you nuts? Karl Rove is still on the lose.

  40. AngryBlakGuy says at 6:59 am, November 21st, 2008

    …the last 3 or so seconds before he passes out, he reminds me of the Teddy Ruxpin I had when I was kid after the batteries were running dead. I’m gonna have nightmares tonight!

  41. PandoraSpocks says at 7:03 am, November 21st, 2008

    Am I the only one who has paid so little attention to the administration that I had idea who the AG was anymore?

  42. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:18 am, November 21st, 2008

    …maybe they forgot to wind him up, like all the other Bush-bots?!

  43. IntergalacticSlut says at 7:20 am, November 21st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Please don’t remind me of toys that talk and move. They ‘amind me of Chucky.

    And no, PandoraSpocks, you aren’t alone there.

  44. AngryBlakGuy:
    Wrong type of batteries. He requires lithium, but they put NiMH in him.

  45. We put the ass in class.

  46. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:51 am, November 21st, 2008

    IntergalacticSlut:…for your viewing PLEASURE!!! Muhahahahahahaha!!!

  47. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:53 am, November 21st, 2008

    rambone: …we also put the cock in caucus!

  48. gurukalehuru says at 8:05 am, November 21st, 2008

    Don’t leave us with this for the weekend. Seriously, that would suck.

  49. donner_froh says at 8:15 am, November 21st, 2008

    Anyone who is a member of the Federalist Society or who agrees with it enough to address it deserves a stroke–at least.

  50. Weeping Jesus says at 8:26 am, November 21st, 2008

    The way to relieve the near-tragic element of this video would be if they superimposed Palin prattling happily away in the foreground, oblivious to the sad scene behind her.

  51. Weeping Jesus says at 8:29 am, November 21st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Not nearly as creepy as those Furby creatures they were selling in the late 90’s. We locked one in a closet and it kept awakening and literally shrieking to be let out. We finally had to take a hammer to it. And still the eyes wouldn’t close.

    *shudder*

  52. sheldy13 says at 8:36 am, November 21st, 2008

    that wasn’t so difficult to watch man I do that all the time and I’m not even half the age of that guy and nobody puts me on tee vee and everybody all acting surprised.

    I popped that on and I was thinking dang that guy is old he could go any second now and whoops! There he goes…(of course there was also a small chance it was the guy from the six flags ad and he about to start dancing…)

  53. ForTheTurnstiles says at 8:38 am, November 21st, 2008

    That’s an unfortunate brand placement.

    I’m never staying at a Marriott again.

  54. Cape Clod says at 8:41 am, November 21st, 2008

    AG has not been a lucky assignment in the Bush administration. Two out of three have landed in the hospital and the third was so criminally retarded that not even a disease would touch him.

  55. Deepthroat says at 8:47 am, November 21st, 2008

    Have we tried putting “Yakety Sax” over it? That song always makes things hil-LAR-i-ous! (HA! HA! sax.)

    http://dieactordie.com/2008/07/25/saving-private-ryan-the-wacky-yakety-sax-version/

  56. dannygutters says at 8:48 am, November 21st, 2008

    Worst roast performance ever.

  57. 4tehlulz says at 8:49 am, November 21st, 2008

    Word is he’s recovering nicely. Understandable; he probably wants to avoid the unpleasant visit that Ashcroft got from Gonzo after his surgery.

  58. frailamerica says at 8:54 am, November 21st, 2008

    sheldy13: Seriously. Only if watching someone fall asleep is difficult to watch.

  59. Weeping Jesus says at 9:08 am, November 21st, 2008

    Deepthroat: If you haven’t seen the Yakkity Sax version of the Passion of the Christ, get ready to go to hell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQka7o0vYHo

    The best.

    The Hitler one is okay, too.

  60. Vewol Mevemont says at 9:21 am, November 21st, 2008

    Mukasey is a fairly decent guy and certainly vastly superior to Gonzales or Ashcroft. I’d guess that being in this administration is somewhat stressful, particularly if you’re not vacuous and/or a misanthropist.

  61. elZaphod says at 9:24 am, November 21st, 2008

    “and we must remain true to our uh our our….Two weeks. Two weeeeeks!!”

  62. PandoraSpocks says at 9:30 am, November 21st, 2008

    PandoraSpocks: I meant NO idea. Christ.

  63. Lesson learned, when dining at the Marriot Wyndam Park, avoid the fish at all costs.

  64. p-Sludge ofTheElves says at 9:38 am, November 21st, 2008

    He knows too much. Like Ken Lay.

  65. pedestrian rage says at 9:42 am, November 21st, 2008

    If I was a freeper, I’d say this was all a clever ploy to avoid answering subpoenas.

    Fortunately, my cortex is still attached to my brain; thus, not a freeper.

  66. facehead: This is the post of the day. Both parts. Thank you.

  67. the cold war makes me hot says at 9:54 am, November 21st, 2008

    This is very sad for him. Liquified turkey, cranberries, stuffing, and mashed potatoes make for a horrible Thanksgiving dinner.

  68. Polly Sigh-Entist says at 10:07 am, November 21st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: you know they are selling the Ruxpin again at Costco…

    *shudder*

  69. Cleaning up after Fredo would be hard on anybody.

  70. sanantonerose says at 10:19 am, November 21st, 2008

    I only wish it was Bush.

  71. Reefpilot says at 10:27 am, November 21st, 2008

    So, what’d he drop?

  72. Do you think it was a Lohan-esque exhaustion or if the crushing reality of his inept, unethical tenure at the DOJ just came crashing in on him in a crescendo of failure, guilt, regret, flop sweat, and lightheadedness?

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  73. angryhippopotamus says at 10:52 am, November 21st, 2008

    For anybody who is interested, the best way to get your well wishes to the Mukasey family is actually to call your friends abroad and express your sympathies to them.

  74. How much do I know
    To talk out of turn
    You might say that I’m young
    You might say I’m unlearned
    But there’s one thing I know
    Though I’m younger than you
    Even Jesus would never
    Forgive what you do

    And I hope that you die
    And your death’ll come soon
    I will follow your casket
    In the pale afternoon
    And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
    Down to your deathbed
    And I’ll stand o’er your grave
    ‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead

  75. Datsun510 says at 11:16 am, November 21st, 2008
  76. I saw this on my local news with the sound down and no chyron to tell me what the hell was going on, right before I went to bed. It was very confusing.

  77. The Wall Street Journal editorial page is already claiming that he wouldn’t have collapsed had he just wished someone MERRY CHRISTMAS earlier in the day.

  78. Snarkfest says at 1:07 pm, November 21st, 2008

    Thank God he didn’t pull a Bush Sr. I was eating breakfast while forcing myself to watch this.

  79. IntergalacticSlut says at 4:41 pm, November 21st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Dude. I just ATE. Damn.

  80. Weeping Jesus: It has been a long time since I have laughed out loud at something on YouTube. Thank You. Thank you very much.

    As far as Mukasey collapsing goes, I hope he and his family are okay.

  81. angryhippopotamus: Fucking brilliant.

  82. bonsai pajamas says at 6:32 am, November 22nd, 2008

    Egad! you’re a bunch of pussies! All except for this guy:

    Neilist: “Why are we supposed to get all “caring” when some unethical, self-serving asshat finally keels over?”

    Christ! I can see there’ll be no decent rape and plunder with you nicey-nice people in charge. And I waited sooo long! Screw this democratic bullshit! I’m go back to being an anarchist.

  83. bonsai pajamas says at 6:49 am, November 22nd, 2008

    Oops. That was a typo. Isaid “I’m go back to being an anarchist.” I meant to say: ME go back to being an anarchist.
    ________________

    The gods fuck up too, ya know. The karmic dart that struck Mukasey was actually intended for the former AG, but he was down in Texas with Cheney smirking at an indictment at the time. The gods send their apologies.

  84. bonsai pajamas says at 7:14 am, November 22nd, 2008

    All snark aside, there are rivers of the blood of innocents left in the wake of this administration. While Mukasey may not have been onboard for most of it, it’s safe to say that were he a decent man he would not have been selected by this administration. The fruit does not fall far from the tree.

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