celebrations of death

Check Out The Hot New Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn


Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey at an abattoir today to celebrate Thanksgiving, a full week beforehand. After pardoning the turkey, Palin partook in her favorite post-election hobby — answering questions from the media — while a turkey butcher worked in the background SLAUGHTERING A TURKEY IN A DEATH GRINDER, while smiling, a la Fargo. It is hilarious. Equally hilarious are the MSNBC captions in this clip, such as, “Gov. Palin Not Realizing Incongruity Of Her Words Versus Her Backdrop.” Liberals. [YouTube]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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200 comments

  1. loquaciousmusic

    Jeebus, look at the captions:

    “Pardoned turkey is too filthy for governor to hold.”
    “Gov. Palin picks worst possible backdrop for t.v. interview.”
    “Turkeys die as Gov. Palin takes questions from media.”

    If this isn’t a joke, it’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

  2. loquaciousmusic

    [re=182804]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Oh, sorry. It’s “Countdown.” I didn’t recognize the Keith Olbermann stand in. I thought it was, you know, REAL NEWZ, not the liberal media.

  3. Bagglio Ordonez

    The “Gotcha Media” is back at it.

    I love how the interviewer asks if any state programs are going to be put “on the chopping block” just as the turkey is lowered into the juicer.

  4. PortlandSmartAss

    Now she really knows how McCain felt when he was trying to run for President, only to be upstaged by a crucifixion going on behind him.

  5. stirredNOTshaken

    maybe there is a god, and his ultimate gift to us was this disgustingly hilarious sarah palin creature.

  6. persiflage

    Watch the video, it’s perfectly framed for maximum comic effect. The cameraman must’ve burst several blood vessels trying to stifle his laughter. Absolutely the “feel-good” comedy of the year!

  7. obfuscator

    She obviously felt pity for that flappy necked, short limbed creature and chose to prolong the horrible life it led.

    Also, she pardoned a turkey!

  8. tonehedge

    As Santa’s last few weeks of receiving unemployment checks draw near, he and Mrs Clause must decide which of the reindeer to slaughter first….
    Santa: Did you hear that?
    Mrs Clause: Hear what?
    Santa: Sounded like Rudolph….
    Mrs Clause: Oh Fuck, look its those Palin kids.

  9. Texan Bulldoggette

    First off, my governor has NEVER pardoned a turkey. Who does she think she is, president or something? Second, what on earth is that machine of death going to do to the turkey? Juice it–I refuse to buy my kids turkey juice unless it’s organic.

  10. hockeymom

    Um, can someone delicately explain to me what is happening to those turkeys?

    I can see they are being stuffed headfirst into a funnel, but what happens next? Is there a little, magical turkey fairy at the bottom of the funnel who gives them a kiss on their turkey foreheads and they go up to heaven?

    Seriously, but not graphically, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????

    I AM NEVER EATING FOOD OF ANY KIND EVER AGAIN!!!!

  11. Palin-Plumber2012

    I can’t finish this video, it’s excruciatingly painful and cringe-inducing to watch; and the turkey stuff is gross too.

  12. rocktonsammy

    Please oh please,

    allow the guy with the ax, mistake her for a turkey.

    now thats blood porn we can get behind.

  13. Guitar_Guy

    Oh man, I think that was the best thing I’ve seen from Palin. Possibly even better than the Katie Couric interviews. I think I am now truly in love with the Governor.

  14. Democratica

    Good lord… I’m gonna be vegan by next Thursday thanks to this little gem. Sarah Palin is ruining everything!!!

  15. ph7

    OK, so we got a reporter pulls the Governer over, we got a video shooting, these folks walk by, there’s a high-speed interview, ends here and then this execution-type turkey deal.

  16. shortsshortsshorts

    I swear to you that I will never say this again:

    She is the dumbest whore I have ever seen. Those birds there being ground into giblets? They have a larger brain than the dumb prostitute speaking in evangelical tongues in front of them.
    She makes Bush look like a fucking genius. If she returns to national politics, Pee Wee will get his career back.

  17. druranium

    I’m a liberal muslim socialist california vegetarian, so I am now feeling a smug superiority over all of you meat eaters who are grossed out about where your food comes from. ha ha own it.

  18. expatinOz

    My fave caption is “Gov Palin apparently oblivious to turkey carnage over her shoulder.” Apparently Oblivious – hopefully will someday be the ironic name of Willow’s lesbian rock band.

  19. Texan Bulldoggette

    I like how Dr. Death keeps looking back at the camera & thinking “does that dumb bitch really want this on camera because it is really nasty & gross?”

    Way to go Palin, why don’t you do you next interview in front of Santa being stoned to death?

  20. Giant Robot

    OMFG! I’m losing touch with reality. Can somebody (shorsshortsshorts, magic titty, SA Mehoff – anybody…) come to my house, lock up the liquor, tuck me in, and tell me I just dreamed that whole thing….

  21. Aurelio

    Look at the publicity it got her. Without the turkey backdrop, this interview would hardly get any attention. And this is the image she wants to portray: a charming, down-to-earth, frontier mom. We have not seen the last of this psychopath.

  22. Numbat Dundee

    But I thought the whole point about this year was that, this time, the turkeys didn’t vote for Thanksgiving?

  23. swinger1121

    First: Don’t only Presidents pardon turkeys? wtf is she doing? Listen cunt, you lost the election…get over it!

    Second: I still prefer this to the McCain “puke green” background.

  24. Guitar_Guy

    [re=182818]hockeymom[/re]: They tie the feet together, and put the turkey into a killing cone. The head and neck come out the bottom. Then they slit the turkey’s jugular. The brain tells the turkey’s muscles to contract and the heart to beat faster, thus draining blood from the bird into the tank below. So, no additional draining of blood is necessary and the bird can be further processed for sale. That’s about it…

  25. WadISay

    [re=182832]bago[/re]: The starbursts that creep up your leg when you watch this will wash off with a little Oxy-clean.

  26. Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat

    [re=182817]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I enjoy the organic turkey juice as well, i just wish it didn’t have all that pulp ….

  27. Thatcher

    Somewhere an RNC clothes auditor is furiously searching his Palin wardrobe list for “(1) Burberry scarf…”

  28. chalkgirl

    Her sentances sound like what normal people’s sentances sound like after they’ve been sent through the turkey grinder.

  29. Keram2

    From the YouTube comments:

    “As opposed to abortion? Let’s film that and air it on the news so people can make up their own minds on the procedure.”

    Yep, as scary as it is to say, there are still people dumber than Sarah Palin out there: YouTube commenters.

  30. Giant Robot

    [re=182829]druranium[/re]: Amen. Vegan Thai noodles and martinis for me this Thanksgiving. Socialist, vegan, onanist, alcoholics UNITE!

  31. SpecialHorse

    As little regard as I have for Sarah Palin, I don’t really see this as that big of a deal. If you are grossed out by a long-shot of a turkey being slaughtered it might be time to consider vegetarianism. I just got a little more excited about Thanksgiving!

  32. finland

    as soon as i noticed the feet sticking out of the funnel of death i actually started going AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH DEAR GODDDDDD (out loud!)

    it was really gross and made me feel guilty all over again for the three times that i have faltered in my pathetic non-animal eating habits and eaten chicken fingers at Cook Out. in conclusion, :(((((((((((((((((((

  33. slinkimalinki

    [re=182848]Giant Robot[/re]: ahh, excellent. the bird convulses on cue as she says “this was neat” “this was fun” and “so grateful for the health and happiness of my family”. give that turkey a posthumous pardon.

  34. slinkimalinki

    [re=182856]ph7[/re]: [re=182860]Giant Robot[/re]: seriously, i had never previously considered the possibility of a link including “poultryslaughtering/lubricants”.

  35. DoctorCulturae

    [re=182838]Aurelio[/re]: Agreed. Palin is not oblivious to this dear ones. Note her open stance to what is going on behind her. This is the same kind of stuff that made her a hit at the convention. She is confounding the libtards. Methinks she knew this was her own brand of performance art for her base about the McCain folk, thus the faux presidential pardon.

  36. ella

    There once was a guv’nor named Palin
    Whose image was tarnished and ailin’
    So she pardoned a bird
    With a wink and a word
    But in hindsight, the stunt was a-failin’

  37. revmod

    I say this as a total leftist commie pinko hopetasic changeakistani:
    If you can’t stand to see where your food comes from, eat something else!
    Myself, I’d rather eat food that was produced locally and killed lovingly by a fella in a peaked cap than grown on some industrial turkey facility. “No worries,” indeed – good for the otherwise slack-witted Governor.

  38. Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat

    anyone else notice that around 1:50 the executioner says “sorry about that” when his victim struggles loudly. He’s got manners and a job! I wonder if he’s single….

  39. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=182882]revmod[/re]: As insane as it sounds to a pussy liberal, I totes agree with you, completely, forever. Seriously I would have no problem hacking a man to death and eating him if I was in the movie “Alive” or something.

  40. Ted Perino

    Dear Lord:

    For your gift of Republicans to amuse me and to continuously make me scratch my head in wonder, I do again give thanks.

    Your loving child,
    Ted

  41. Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=182809]PortlandSmartAss[/re]: OH shit. Win fucking win. Only a Wonkette commenter could make that story even funnier. Thank you!

  42. badmuthagoose

    Two things:

    I’m back to being a vegetarian. (Seriously.)

    Her hair and makeup people are obviously LONG gone. And in my cattiness, I found myself cackling at the fact that she’s desperately trying to recreate the bronzing/brownish rouge effect that expensive makeup artist used to work on her. (You aren’t doing it right, Sarah.) Also? Her hair’s a fucking mess. That’s what my mother would call a rat’s nest.

    I lied, I had three things: does she know how chav-alicious that scarf is? I really did laugh aloud when I saw it.

    Ok four things: I watched the uncensored version with no sound so I wouldn’t have to hear her voice, which is a penis shrinker. And I don’t even have a penis.

  43. hobospacejungle

    [re=182844]Guitar_Guy[/re]: Wait, wait wait…the head & neck come out the bottom & then the brain tells the turkey’s muscles to contract, etc in that order? Probably not in that order exactly. Whatever.

    I think you meant “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

  44. HedonismBot

    A mime in a box would have been a much more pleasant background. A mime being fed through a grinder would have been even better.

  45. ivenson

    OK, gang, twenty year vegetarian here…

    Small scale (ie, not factory) farm. Healthy looking birds in the background (fortunately too dumb to be horrified at what they’re watching. I have experience with turkeys; they are stupid). This guy’s operation is probably a great example of “eating locally”.

    I kind of agree that she knew this would be a button pusher and decided to push.

    I did like when she referred to “my son’s Striker Brigade”. I misheard it as “my son Stryker Brigade”.

    Stryker Brigade Palin. Kind of has ring to it, dunnit?

  46. sanantonerose

    [re=182818]hockeymom[/re]: It’s a cone shaped device with a hole in the bottom. It holds the turkey all snug as a bug in a rug, calms it down, then with one quick motion, SLICE, the turkey’s neck is cut and the fluids drain out. It’s actually the most humane way to kill a farm bird. I read all about it in Omnivore’s Dilemma, also, my mom’s family were big time farmers. You don’t make friends with farm animals. Unless you like friends with benefits. Nutritional benefits.

  47. DoctorCulturae

    sarahpalin: v. to jabber incessantly in a manner as if disconnected from the material world.
    E.g.: I was trying to watch the movie, but a person sitting behind me sarahpalined all night long.

  48. sanantonerose

    [re=182916]ivenson[/re]: Exactly. If you get squeamish about this, then you definitely don’t want to see mass turkey killings at the ol’ factory farm.

  49. Camus

    “I’m in charge of the turkey and good ol’ Joe the Poultry Executioner is helpin’ me pick ah good one!”

  50. druranium

    [re=182916]ivenson[/re]: It doesn’t bother me at all that she finds this to be a “no worries” backdrop for her floundering babble fest of an interview. She’s not alienating liberal vegetarians as most have already seen hours of footage featuring all types of animals being slaughtered.
    She is alienating people that eat meat that don’t want to see that type of thing. (most people that eat meat).
    I suppose there will be a new Camille Paglia column tomorrow praising her bold frontiersiness and composure in front of blood!

  51. Kos

    [re=182922]DoctorCulturae[/re]: How about palindroned?

    Seriously, the background just proved the point that everything she said is pure gibberish.

  52. answerbird

    I can’t wait until Christmas when she shoves John McCain in the grinder! Now this is change I can believe in! I think we found Palin’s new career, she will host a hunting show. The favorite show will be when she shoots Mexicans from a helicopter.

  53. dontquitnow

    Shit, she glanced back like she couldn’t wait to get that damn camera outta her face so she could get back there and get her turn, like she was promised. The dude kept looking at her like, “you comin’, or what?” You betcha. Oh, you way betcha.

  54. On the Border

    Who notices the turkey in the background with the grisly sight in the foreground of the Governor mangling the living shit out of the English language?

  55. FatCog

    The more she is in front of the camera, the more sad I feel for the social conservatives.
    She could make PTA meetings trite and topical.

    if the dems want to guarantee a permanent democratic majority, they should hire palin as the official republican spokesman. what a fool that lady is.

  56. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=182855]Giant Robot[/re]: [re=182864]finland[/re]: [re=182901]badmuthagoose[/re]: I have to respectfully disagree w/the vegan veiwpoint here. I’ve helped my sister the hippie egg farmer disembowel a few chickens and turkeys over the last few years and although a tad unsettling at first, eh, you get used to it pretty quick. It’s only fair to find out where your food comes from, then decide whether you can live it. (I can.)

    All that red goop on the shelf below the funnel decapitator/drainer device? Add some chopped onions, salt, pepper, tarragon, sage and dash of cumin and/or curry, saute in rendered turkey fat, and its absolutely freaking delicious. Add some cubed stale bread and it’s stuffing to die for.

    It amounts to organic peace-and-love-sustainable-local-grown heaven for the tastebuds. You have no idea how well we eat in my neck of the woods, come Thanksgiving. Tofurkey? Um, no thanks.

    And I am sooo looking forward to watching my Seahawks kick the Cowboys ass on Thursday…

  57. Lascauxcaveman

    Also, Palin continues to be hilarious. She has been ever since it became obvs that she wouldn’t be VP. I daresay, I’m growing fond of her again; after a fashion.

    Sylvester the Cat, Elmer Fudd and Wile E. Coyote I am also quite fond of.

  58. Palin-Plumber2012

    [re=182854]Keram2[/re]: Agreed – Youtube commenters eclipsed IMDB for funniest illustration of American idiots years ago, but it’s still a great rivalry for stupidity.

  59. One Yield Regular

    Quel horreur!

    That gentleman clearly has never learned anything about decent French cooking. Strangling the birds will prevent blood loss, and make for a much richer, tastier meal. [I credit Vincent Price's recipe for pressed duck for that mcnugget of wisdom].

  60. dontquitnow

    [re=182947]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Choking down turkey guts, ok, blah blah blah. But you went too far with the Cowboys comment. Take it back!

  61. Neilist

    I fail to see what the big deal is: She’s just doing to the English language what the guy in the background is doing to the turkey.

    Gesh.

    You people need to sober up.

  62. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=182958]dontquitnow[/re]: In Re: Seahawks vs. Cowboys: Obviously, I am speaking ‘hopefully’ there. (It would really be something, wouldn’t it?)

    Turkey guts, however, like most forms of protein, can be cooked in a delicious fashion, if you only know how.

  63. rmontcal

    Her son’s name is “striker brigade”? Wow. I don’t remember that one.

    Yes, I made it that far through the video. Lest you think me inhuman: my poker windows kept popping up over the… business… at just the right time. Seriously. It was uncanny. Plus I was wasted at the time.

  64. druranium

    [re=182972]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yes, the problem with the vegs is that they haven’t had deliciously cooked turkey guts. Little known fact: much as you can pray away the gay, you can cook away the veg.

  65. pepe

    I’ve watched this five-seven times now and I still can’t concentrate on what she is saying. The turkey-executioner’s second appearance (reappearance) is perfectly timed comedy. Just when you think it might be over he comes back with another turkey and a grin on his face.

  66. lepidimus

    1) Turkey-guy is my new hero.
    2) MSNBC are a bunch of pussies. Blurring out turkey blood? No wonder we can’t get realistic war coverage.

  67. abirato

    [re=182992]lepidimus[/re]: I like Turkey-guy myself. However he would have been better using a block of wood and an axe.

  68. lepidimus

    Think about what had to go through this guy’s head. “Hey, it looks like I’m on camera with that famous governor/VP lady. Fuck it, I’ve got work to do.” Now that’s the can-do American spirit that will get us through this economic crisis.

  69. abirato

    [re=182999]The Wolf[/re]:
    First, in your description, you left out radical communist muslin socialistic morans.

    Second, we don’t hate “this woman” we love her. She is a never ending source of entertainment.

    Third, if you resemble in any way shape or form your screen name, “this woman” will hunt you down using a helicopter and shoot you dead and turn your right arm in to collect money.

  70. palmerdawg

    She still can’t put a complete sentence together much less coherent, then the guy in the background juicing the turkey is having a ball. Way to go Sarah!

  71. BobLoblawLawBlog

    I’m with everyone claiming she knew damn well what was going on, and I think she was glad. First of all, it reminds people of that “charming” habit she has of killing and all any and all animals she encounters (our li’l Annie Oakley, but without the smarts). Secondly, ask anyone who puts an interesting backdrop into a movie/TV show: you make sure the dialogue going on in front can be totally ignored. I’ll bet she was hoping no one would notice her barely intelligible jabber over the carnage going on in the background. No luck, sweetie: Your idiocy is even more horrifying.

  72. mumrock

    The turkey’s last words to Joe the Poultry Processor: “Hey, kinda get outta the way and just let me grow and progress.”

    What I’m thankful for? That I’m not in the Palin family and subjected to that non-stop screechy babble all Thanksgiving day long.

  73. bigfakesmile

    her ability to tie conservative talking points to her job activities is truly retarded – ‘oh, let’s just get out of people’s way.’ plus all that horror over the reduced price of oil.

  74. choinski

    Didja catch the reporters questions about state programs ‘on the chopping block’? Didja? ….Didja?

  75. OffTheRecord

    Oh god. I would have really appreciated a warning that said “For the love of god do not watch this while munching on your formerly delicious breakfast of turkey bacon.” I have to go vomit now.

  76. AngryBlakGuy

    …can we just turn her name into a synonym for “FAIL“?! I’m stone faced serious about this!!!

  77. ScribblinPossum

    I’m beginning to understand, in a way I never truly have before, why the French people clamored for Marie-Antoinette’s head.

    Sarah, go home to Jesus. Go now! It’s clear to me that God truly is making a way for you so please, please, plow on through!

    Do it now.

    Do it!

    Stupid fuckin’ asshead.

  78. Weeping Jesus

    This is actually a video of an Alaska Kids With Special Needs vocational training session. Sarah’s an advocate of that stuff, you know.

    For christmas she’ll pardon a kitten at the animal shelter as a guy dressed as Santa in the background stuffs a dozen in a weighted burlap sack and tosses them in a swimming pool full of joyous children.

  79. Captain Swing

    Personally, I think she was sending a message to her buddy Willard ‘Mittens’ Romney:

    In 2012, when me an’ the resta them Wasilla Hillbillies run that fancy-pants muslin outa’ town and take over the White House, I’ve sure got a position in mind for you Mitt… and a guy who can hold ya there ’til ya stop twitchin’! You becha.

  80. p-Sludge ofTheElves

    [re=182850]chalkgirl[/re]: and her seances sound like what normal people’s seances sound like after they’ve been sent through the turkey grinder.

  81. Cape Clod

    [re=182999]The Wolf[/re]: We don’t hate her at all. She is the gift that keeps on giving. I hope that she remains the face of the Republican Party for the next 20 years. Welcome to permanent minority status. It’s a bitch, isn’t it?

  82. Theodorick Of York

    ‘I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door.

    ‘Show me where the open door is.’

    It’s right behind you Sarah…go on, stick yer head right in there. Tom The Turkey Guy will be happy to give you a hand. Also.

    We are all Tom The Turkey Guy

  83. stew

    That smiling goober in the background was just precious. “I loves to slaughter thems turkeys with purtty girls a-talkin’!”

  84. Game Fan

    Maybe they should have brought the guy some coffee and asked him to “take 5″. Where the hell is Rove? But you have to give her credit for rebelling against the “controlled environment” idea and it’s doubtful that she needs coaching from an earpiece.

  85. BigDupa

    I’d like to switch my vote to Palin/McCain– we need four years of that– Michael Deaver would be proud– next Palin news conference at a rectal exam clinic

  86. Game Fan

    Hopefully the “status quo” won’t decide to coronate her or anybody else before REAL conservative Republicans get the chance to look around at the different possibilities for 2012. Translation: Back off Rove, Gingrich, ect…

  87. Game Fan

    She would have been easy on the eyes for the next few years, then again the whole “smiling Republican” image might get old real quick.

  88. DustBowlBlues

    I saw this last night and along with 3 or 400 other people sent the tip to our editors. It’s as if the gods are writing material expressly for wonkette.

    This woman is the most blissfully oblivious public official in history. David Schuster, (a good KO stand-in but not as wonderful as Brian Unger, whom I would take over KO) explained at the end of what he had assured the audience was a heavily sanitized, but still pretty sickening video, the Alaska liberal-media gotcha’ journalism trick on how they managed to set Bible Spice up for this pre-made blooper tape.

    To wit, the reporter said, Are you sure you want to do this interview here? With that in the background?
    In her blithe, folksy, aw-shucks manner, the Guv says sure, no problem.

    I like Schuster but, damn, I wish he’d quit saying “basically” in every other sentence. Essentially, it drives me crazy.

  89. Terry

    Honestly, that turkey slaughtering is pretty mild. I would have preferred to see the farmer there comically chasing the turkey around the yard with a short axe. THAT would have been an interesting back drop for Palin.

  90. Terry

    [re=182849]Thatcher[/re]:

    That’s a knock off, just like her “Louis Vuitton” bag is. The RNC needs to figure out who gave Palin fakes but charged them for the real thing. Oooh, that could kind of describe Palin in a nutshell.

  91. Sproutz

    My stomach hurts from laughing at you people.

    Also, after the ‘turkey with its legs uppin the air’ comment, I am now picturing some bizarre porn involving Palin slathered in turkey blood.

    It would be something like the chicken scene in Pink Flamingos maybe, only with some beheading bukkake.

  92. NoWireHangers

    The local news would only describe this video this morning.

    I immediately got to work, and logged onto Our Wonkette, knowing they would have the goods.

    This. Is. BRILLIANT.

  93. superfecta

    My grandmother in Missouri used to string up a line of 8-10 chickens and walk down with a knife, slitting all the throats as she went along. This explains a lot about why they voted McCain.

  94. chauncey

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  95. thefrontpage

    Is this a video from that Will Ferrell comedy video site?

    If not, then it’s the most ironically hilarious video since, well, Palin’s last interview video.

    Seriously, hopefully she’ll get $7 million for her book, bank the money and not spend it all–and immediately retire forever from anything having anything to do with politics.

  96. azw88

    She approved that backdrop because it is a metaphor for what she is planning to do to her opposition in the Republican Party of the next two years. First up: those behind the ‘leaks’ about hr wardrobe. (She is pissed that shit not gotten out, she’d be the best dressed GILF, now she is just another pitbull in lipstick). Second into the ‘funnel of death’ will be Mittens.

  97. blader

    All in all, I think Quasimodo wins this video.

    After each turkey, he looks back at the camera crew, “More? You betcha! I can do another fer ya!”

  98. Theodorick Of York

    [re=183202]chauncey[/re]:
    At first I didn’t get it.
    Then I broke out my secret atomic fantastic Chauncey decription ring and
    now must agree completely with your thoughts contained in line 8.
    Now, put down the pipe and step away from the keyboard.

  99. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=183207]chauncey[/re]: Well, it might have worked in courier. Let’s see if Wonkette will let us choose a different font:

    ,+*^^*+___+++_
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    { ) ( ,( ,_+–+–, ^) ^\
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    {:;-/ (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_ ) ) /
    ( / ( ( ,___ ^*+_+* ) < ___ ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\)
    ^^^//\\_^^//\\_^ ^(\_\_\_\)
    ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^

  100. freeatlast

    For any lingering doubts about the validity of the Couric interview…my right wing brethren…I give you this:

    Q. Any other future plans for office?

    A. Uh, you know, plans just include uh, ooh, uh, gettin’ through, uh, uh, uh, the budget process that we’re going through right now, building the state’s budget based on the price of oil that has plummeted so greatly and reigning in the growth of government and uhh, uhh, plans like that that have to do with, umm, helping to govern this state and building this team that uhh, is continually being built to provide good service to Alaskans, so…in my role as Governor, that, that’s what my plans are all around.

    Poor Alaskans. Any chance of a California style recall?

  101. azw88

    Building her team?? WTF!! She has been governor for HOW FUCKING LONG??? and she is just NOW putting a team together?? SHIT Hopey has been Prez-ELECT for 2-1/2 weeks and he has more of his team together than she does???

    That turkey squirming around is a metaphor for all of America, dying as the blood drains from our brains while listening to this moran!

  102. DustBowlBlues

    [re=182834]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “Way to go Palin, why don’t you do you next interview in front of Santa being stoned to death?

    Ooh, responding to my fav fellow-living in Real America -sufferer, TXB. This film is like something PETA does to gross out people into becoming vegans.

    I heard the last few minutes of a report on Religion and Ethics News Weekly about a 13 year old girl in some god-awful country being stoned to death in front of a stadium full of cheering people because she committed the crime of being raped. (Sounds like pirate-central Somalia to me).

    Maybe Sarah could get the video of that and use it as a backdrop for a PSA on the reason girls should abstain from sex. After she and her family of inbreds watched it a few times for fun, of course. It’s so Old Testament.

    Back to Bible Spice–has she responded to the turkey carnage interview yet? I imagine she’s saying something like, “Don’t people know where their food comes from?” And I do love the slaughterer who keeps turning around to look at her with his, “Really?” expression.

    And when are we going to find out that Leif, or Laff, or whatever Baby Daddy is actually is the slut’s cousin?

    The glow I feel from Hopey’s election is going to totally dim if this rumor (or my own making, of course) isn’t proven to be true enough for libtards to believe it. Won’t take much to convince me.

    And another reason (as if we needed it) to hate Alaska: The internets are fucking slow today. Did Ted stuff the tubes to get even with us?

  103. liquiddaddy

    [re=182999]The Wolf[/re]: We hate because we love. When she learned she would be at an “abbatoir” she thought she might get some free face cream. How is that not adorable?

  104. DustBowlBlues

    [re=182999]The Wolf[/re]: “Why do all you homosexual liberal perverts hate this woman so much?”

    What a dumb question. It’s the post-abortives guilt, of course. Don’t you ever read NRO?

  105. DustBowlBlues

    [re=183050]ScribblinPossum[/re]: About going home to Jesus:

    Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw during OK’s Oral Robert’s plea for a billion dollars or God had to OR that he was going to be called home.

    “Lord, if you can’t call him home, could you at least call him to Texas?” (Sorry TXB.)

    “Lord, could you keep her in Alaska with a camera on her full time?”

  106. Snarkfest

    Type ‘turkey’ into google – This vid grabs #3 spot out of 241,000,000 searches – and rising. A YUMMY thanksgiving present for all those nice Sarah Stumpin Stepford wives to find when looking for the latest roast turkey recipe.

  107. d4g33z

    [re=182855]Giant Robot[/re]: Right on, brother. As Russell said, that is why “I am not a Christian(ist).” Or a meat-eater. Or a breeder…

  108. Dave S.

    Where do you cretins think your Thanksgiving turkey comes from?

    Palin’s mistake was thinking that rational people know animals die to feed us. And can handle it.

    Pathetic.

  109. Weeping Jesus

    If this was one of those forums where a thread is “bumped” to the top with each new comment, I’d volunteer to bump this thread daily.

  110. Dave S.

    “Celebrations of Death”?

    It’s a normal goddamn day at a normal goddamn turkey farm before a normal goddamn Thanksgiving.

  111. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=183449]Dave S.[/re]: [re=182999]The Wolf[/re]:

    Please don’t go anywhere. Stay here. We need some new punching bags.

  112. Mara47

    Sarah took the saying “Don’t let the turkeys get you down” a little too much to heart.

    God, that voice. It sounds like how swallowing broken glass must feel.

  113. LittlePinky82

    [re=182817]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’ve never heard of my governor doing that either. Unless I just didn’t see it. *shrug*

  114. WesternCorrespondent

    [re=183030]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: “TeamSarah.org” wingnuts are claiming Sarah Palin was “set up” by the media. Yeah, right.

    She’s the head of state of Alaska. They actually think she’s such a meek, bland, unassuming individual that she’d stand where the cameraman or the producer of this interview TOLD her to stand?

    Honestly, some Palin apologists will do anything, say anything to get this dingbat off the hook. I guess most of them have been raised in overly permissive households where no one takes responsibility for their own actions but instead blames someone or anyone else — “the media”.

  115. WesternCorrespondent

    Obviously Dave S. is under the impression that video was intended to instruct small Alaskan children watching the 6 o’clock news with their parents.

    Yes, we should thank Sarah Palin for her role as Governor, Teacher in Chief, and Turkey Mother to all Alaskans.

    “If the news about Turkeys doesn’t kill ya, kids, it’ll just make you stronger”

    Heaven help the poor kids when she has an Easter ceremony involving bunny rabbits. Or a Christmas ceremony involving reindeer (or possibly substituting a caribou that’s been fitted with a flashing red nose).

  116. nurple

    You guys are seriously overreacting. Those are actually turkeys that have already been injected with cranberry sauce. The cone apparatus merely attaches a little Pilgrim hat!

  117. flamflurm

    Hilarious, you guys! But aren’t you lefties afraid she’ll move to the political center and have a Christmas news conference at a late-term abortion clinic? Obama is all for those partial-birth deals, so maybe he’ll choose her to take Daschle’s spot after he aborts that job.

  118. emberglance

    [re=183442]Dave S.[/re]: I think Palin’s mistake was actually standing in front of the turkey headgrinding machine for a news interview. I mean, we do know this business goes on to provide us with delicious turkey food Dave. It is also an unpleasant fact of life that people sit on toilets to shit and piss. And people have their craniums sawn off before operations on their brains. And sometimes homeless people die of exposure on the pavement in Winter. No need to stand right in front of this stuff though. Not when you’re being interviewed for the news.

  119. slinkimalinki

    [re=183747]flamflurm[/re]: that would be awesome! nothing says christmas like a late-term abortion. in fact, i’m having one right now.

  120. Dashboard_Buddha

    Here is a step-by-step of what the fella in the background is doing. The device he’s using is called a “killing cone”.

    I think Sarah and the Killing Cones would make a great name for a band.

  121. Dave S.

    “Please don’t go anywhere. Stay here. We need some new punching bags.”

    Kev-o-tron, how worried do you think I am about being punched by left-wing metrosexuals who shudder at the thought of where meat comes from?

    “I think Palin’s mistake was actually standing in front of the turkey headgrinding machine for a news interview.”

    Ember, I must have missed the part where Palin said, “Hey, let’s stand in front of the killin’ stuff.” I mean, surely she knew what all that stuff was, right? And I don’t have access to your unedited version showing the slaughtering happening BEFORE she started talking – all I see is a shot framed expressly to include both Palin and the worker, who was looking directly at the cameraman and then started his work. Funny, that.

    Go ahead, keeping mocking a woman whose actual resume is bigger than that of the man whose nomination meant “rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.” Keep calling a middle-class Mom a “whore.” Keep acting in victory the same way you acted in defeat – like a bunch of classless, juvenile, irrational, repulsive, feces-slinging howler monkeys. And hey, keep those blogs about having anal sex with senators goin’, ladies. Stay classy, Wonks.

  122. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=183920]Dave S.[/re]: Wow…yer really bitter. By the way, I’ve decided to name my band Turkey Grinder Love Porn

  123. CaptainMorgan

    She does rock that “Hillbilly Hitler with Tits” thing. But can’t imagine how she’ll top this.
    Maybe pardon Ted Stevens while some half-witted minor gets slow-roasted in background by ole Sparky?

  124. druranium

    [re=183920]Dave S.[/re]: Ha Ha Dave S is a republican apologist! You stay classy Dave! One of these days all the swine here are going to realize that everything Dave S said WAS RIGHT.

  125. William

    The content in the article waxing snarky that Sarah is speaking while turkeys are killed in the background, and the comments under this article repeating the same exhibit a deep irrational hatred for Sarah Palin.

    Is this a group of Vegetarians posting their hate filled diatribes here against Sarah Palin?

    If not, and if you are, in fact, meat eaters, and if you are going to eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day, and during the Christmas Holiday season, then what’s the point of all the angst and venom directed toward Sarah?

    How do you think the turkey gets to your supermarket, and then to your table? They don’t fall from trees like apples.

    Makes absolutely no sense to me.

  126. montgolm

    I agree it’s ironic but to also, it’s about as truthful as you can get as to where our turkeys come from. So what if one got pardoned? We all know a million more aren’t going to be that lucky!
    I think it’s funny how dumb people are…getting all freaked out over this. How privileged we are today in that we don’t have to kill our own food and everything comes packaged for us. Seriously people…seriously…how did you think the turkey was slaughtered for your Thanksgiving meal? Oh I’m sorry…you didn’t know it was slaughtered…you just thought they grew packaged fresh!

  127. William

    montgolm,

    I don’t understand how people are so sensitive toward the slaughter of animals, all while eating their turkey sandwich, or their chicken sandwich, of their roast beef sandwich, or while driving their fork into the next bite of fish, or slicing their steak with their serrated steak knife, plunging the fork into that piece of warm, juicy meat, delivering the piece of carcass to their mouth, then chewing on it and swallowing on it, murmuring “yummy” as it goes down.

    How many who have expressed such misplaced rage, such self righteous indignation, are Vegetarians?

    Animals are slaughtered for food that meat eaters eat. Many meat eaters mock Vegetarians for their meatless diet. Now I see people capitalizing on a cult-like infatuation, following one another in the ritual of hating Sarah Palin, and this time they are basing it on the most absurd, dishonest, disingenuous of reasons.

    Thanksgiving Day will mean the death of many thousands of turkeys. Many on this forum who are condemning Sarah Palin for what took place on that news video spot are going to eat turkey. You would think that they thought Turkey is processed like the stuffed animals in “Build-a-Bear Workshop” for children, where you choose a skin, be it a bear, a frog, or some other cute animal covering made of cloth, then you stuff your animal with fluff, take it to the sewing machine where the store worker closes the seam, and then you proceed to type up a name and birth certificate for your new stuffed animal.

    After that you print that certificate, place your new cute stuffed animal friend into his or her very own “house” box, pay the cashier, and you are off, your child has a new playmate!

    Some might think they just grow on trees and drop onto your dinner table, something which materializes out of the ethers from some Cosmic factory, like something beaming into existence as on Star Trek, as if turkey never had a mommy and a daddy, or at least, a mommy.

    The Turkey is a living, breathing animal, with warmth, blood, a beating heart, and it is bred for food for human beings. Those who are not bred for humans are also eaten by predators in the wild. Somehow people are making Sarah Palin the scape goat for their irrational hostilities, and, perhaps even for the fact that these feathered, gobbling birds are butchered for food.

    Many people are not even present at the death of their own family members, such as a parent, spouse, or child, and few ever see a person die. All is so sanitized these days that many people don’t kill their own food, and won’t watch it killed, but will criticize people who do see their food killed, and those who do kill the food, as takes place in the video clip.

    I was present for my mother’s death. I held her hand while she died. I was also present as my father died, and I was present as our children were born, and I helped deliver them. Our family was present when our affectionate family cat passed away, and we all shed a tear. Life and death is part of the circle of life, yet how few are there for it, shed a tear or rejoice in it. Today many people are sheltered from it.

    So many people even mock hunters for hunting, those mean, nasty hunters, yet these critics sit down at the restaurant, or in their homes, and eat that beef, that pork, that chicken, as if they are somehow saints, as if there is no blood on their hands. For many, since they won’t get their hands dirty and kill their own food, there isn’t any blood on their hands. They skip the slaugher part and just go for the final product, that Butterball Turkey on their table, piping hot, with all the trimmings, including gravy.

    montgolm,

    Yes, it does seem strange that people are freaking out on Sarah Palin in this case. It really does seem like there is nothing better to do.

  128. redleg

    If I wanted an argument to totally disprove Darwinism, I’d use this blog post and most of the comments. Most of the responders clearly demonstrate that intelligence is not a survival trait. Don’t go out into the rain because, like those turkeys you will look up and drown.

    Turkey grinder? Mass turkey factory murder? You sheeple are too dumb to notice that this is a small-time, mom & pop operation. It looks like they are slaughtering turkeys quite humanely. MSNBC pushes the Palin Derangement Syndrome button and gets the Pavlovian response it wants.

    Mao had a good idea to take the intellectual elite from their cozy lives and send them out among the peasantry for re-education. As good little marxists, you folks are in sore need of being among the peasants and learning how they make your life so easy and soft. If you don’t like knowing where your food comes from, stop eating. Harvesting free range tofu isn’t a pretty sight.

    I was raised on a farm. I know precisely how my food gets to the table. When I saw the supposed horror of the Palin interview, I was hoping I’d really see something. Pretty mild stuff. It was good for a laugh at the liberal elite doing their best to get their knickers in a twist. I do like free-range animals. In fact, I do my best to harvest them each season. I should be out participating in the Bambi harvest today, but my schedule won’t allow it.

    Thanks for the laughs.

  129. freeatlast

    William/Redleg. We’re just having us some fun at the expense of that idiot Governor Palin. Jeeze. Way to be a buzz kill.

  130. Dashboard_Buddha

    The critics of the Sarah Critics are missing the point. It’s not so much that people are all ‘ewww, that’s icky’. It’s the presentation that SP chose. Look, I lived on a farm for a while when I was younger and I killed and ate all kinds of animals. They were juicy and delicious. But we never giggled, smirked, or winked while slaughtering them. And just because we enjoyed the food doesn’t mean we didn’t feel a little bad about killing something…but that just made us a little more thankful and kinder to the animals when it wasn’t killing season. Palin never addressed how hard the guy behind her had to work (except for some vague comments about government getting out of the way), she never made mention about knowing where our food comes from. Nope, this was a day out, a lark, a twitter, and ultimately a poorly framed photo op. She is an opportunistic twit with more ambition than brains and less sense than looks. Personally, I would like to see hot coals heaped upon her, but scorn will have to do.

  131. WesternCorrespondent

    Well, you know, Dashboard_Buddha, that the critics of the Sarah Critic are “missing the point” on purpose, don’t you? That’s one of their tenets of discourse and debate: misdirection, obfuscation, lying…

    As a matter of fact, their Sainted Leader has now issued a post-Turkey-Massacre-interview statement through her spokesman that yields her yet ANOTHER few minutes of national TV exposure. The gist of the statement is that she said she NEVER REALIZED that she”d be giving that interview with the bloody background, that the media people had SET HER UP with the positioning seen in the interview, and that she”s SORRY for any distress it caused viewers.

    All easily proven to be false statements, but it”s another example of Sarah Palin seizing the moment, blaming the media for all her faux pas, and the mainstream media not challenging her lies.

    Further, according to this Sarah Palin spokesman, there are supposedly multiple invitations from various well-known talk show hosts such as Oprah and Barbara Walters, etc. What are the chances all these hosts call each other up and ask, “did you really invite the Alaskan governor to appear on your show?”

    My opinion is that the invitation story is another PR lie, for the express purpose of yet ANOTHER round of free publicity for Palin.

    She may not be intelligent in the usual sense of the word, but she sure is cunning in that sneaky way you hate when you see it in one of your co-workers.

  132. Crab1

    [re=184012]William[/re]: [re=184016]redleg[/re]: Your ideas intrigue me. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  133. glamourdammerung

    [re=183920]Dave S.[/re]: “Keep acting in victory the same way you acted in defeat – like a bunch of classless, juvenile, irrational, repulsive, feces-slinging howler monkeys”

    Do you mean like coming here just to spew insults and act like a 12 year old?

  134. CumaeanSibyl

    [re=183762]emberglance[/re]: Oh, please, it’s perfectly natural to have those things in your interviews.

    Next up, a PSA about taking care of retarded children, with Trig’s diaper being changed in the background.

  135. Custerwolf

    What’s up with criticizing meateaters for feeling sorry for the animals who are killed? Would it make you happy if I told you that watching a turkey get its head stuffed into a kill cone gave me an unbelievable hard-on? Oh yes, anything but hypocrisy. Fuck you. As for the turkeys who are forced to be in the presence of such a festering cunt as Palin, Jethro’s just putting them out of their misery.

  136. Custerwolf

    [re=183278]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Your teflon attitude regarding turkey entrails almost made you believable as a hetero – however, you blew it with your Seahawk comment. Football is so fucking gay.

  137. Snozberries

    I think that’s a snow cone maker. I love turkey snow cones. It’s like Fargo.

    Back to the salvia.

  138. messickc (ROLL TIDE!)

    [re=185133]Snozberries[/re]: I’m sure you could do without this tidbit-o-knowledge: It is simply a funnel. They stick the bird in upside down, and pull it’s head through the little opening at the bottom so it is immobilized. Then with a sharp knife the chop iff it’s head and let the blood drain out– the reason that tub was red inside!

    To quote Rachael Ray: “Yumm-O!!”

  139. messickc (ROLL TIDE!)

    [re=185253]messickc (ROLL TIDE!)[/re]: And you’ll have to add the extra spaces back in– web browsers remove extra spaces if there are more than one in a row.

  140. Ultraspanked

    [re=183302]azw88[/re]: Your comment is great, however the word is spelled “moron.” You are certainly not the only one around here making that embarrasing mistake.

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