WONKETTE INTERVIEWS TODAY'S ARTISTS  6:07 pm November 20, 2008

Q&A With ‘Get Your War On’ Guy, David Rees!

by Ken Layne

Here is where we'll put the photo credit: 'PHOTO CREDIT: Jess Hasselbusch'America’s favorite fun comic strip of hopelessness and despair, Get Your War On, wouldn’t exist if not for a) 9/11 and b) David Rees, the creator of the actual comic strip. As we could not get an interview with 9/11, we decided to email five questions to Rees — who will be in Washington this very Sunday to give a FREE speaking/cartoon concert at the 5th & K Busboys & Poets. But how does an artist thank President Bush in Olde Englishe Versee?

Wonkette: If not for 9/11 and Bush/Cheney and everything, you might just be just another laid-off magazine assistant editor or something, now. Do you have any words of thanks for the Bush Administration?

David Rees: Yes, in fact I just wrote them a poem in Old English:

“THANK YEE MOSTE KINDLY”

To my dearre prefident Bushe /
whose most excelyent presiduncery hath provided mee
withe incomme (tho meagre) in thif betroubbled economie /
and whofe brillyance hath burnned its way into my soul /
and whofe leaddershippe hath made our greatte nation whole /
and whofe tenacity hath conquerred al-Qaedda moste wiccked
I want to give yee thif bouquet of flowyers I piccked /
fertilized by the corpses of Iraqi children.

W: A lot of people seemed troubled by your beloved Katrina character, the corpse floating in the floodwaters of New Orleans. Might that character return some day?

D.R.: No, he floated away into history and will not be seen again. We must erase him from our memories — as we must erase New Orleans from our memories, lest God punish us for holding that sodomite metropolis in our hearts. John Hagee, I love you so much I even want to butt-fuck you a little.

W: That video version of Get Your War On, with the dudes discussing Obama’s election, what is up with that? It’s really a perfect format translation — much better than the Garfield movie, for instance. That’s pretty much exactly how I heard those guys’ voices, in my head.

D.R.: The success of those videos (as seen on 236.com, the hottest political comedy site) is due entirely to the actors — Jon Glaser and Anthony Laurent. We tried to find actors who sound broken down and depressed, like they’d been working in cubicles forever and hadn’t seen sunlight in years — basically, like me. I think Glaser and Laurent actually DO see sunlight — Glaser seems to bike everywhere, and I think Laurent is a boxer; they’re both healthy and well-adjusted — but they do a good job of capturing the lethargy and despair that I carry around with me like an overcoat made out of soggy death.

W: It is sort of the American Dream, to go from making clip-art comics for your own amusement to getting some award from Rolling Stone, and also making some kind of living, in the space of a year or so. Is the American Dream now dead again?

D.R.: Yes, the American dream is dead, and I have killed it. Only Henry Paulson can save you now. LOL, good luck with that. By the time you read these words, I will be on the moon with all your earth money.

W: Oh we see you have started a blog. Why would you go and do something like that?

D.R.: My friend tipped me off to this new up-and-coming trend called “Bloggering” (?) so I decided to get in on the ground floor. Mostly I use my blog to commission post-election polls about the 2008 presidential election. (I noticed that after the election, a lot of sites stopped commissioning polls, so I’m picking up the slack.)

Here’s some of my latest data, you can post it but you MUST CREDIT “MNFTIU POLLS, INC. THE HOTTEST POLLS”:

2008 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:

McCain: 23568902745
Obama: 23057622
Jerry: 390876028976020
Garfield: 56098730987

STATE-BY-STATE BREAKDOWN:

Northern States: 11
Southern States: 39
Western States: 4
Eastern States: 238 (?!?)

ISSUES BREAKDOWN:

Economy: 72%
Security: 52%
Flags: 24%
Eco-Gadgets: 38%
“Gay Stuff”: 9%

David Rees will present a 45-minute comical history of the Entire War On Terror, and also be pimping & signing his new book, GET YOU WAR ON: The Definitive Account of the War on Terror, 2001-2008, at 6 p.m. Sunday, November 23, at Busboys and Poets, 1025 5th Street NW. The Depression-friendly cost is Free.

 
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{ 37 comments }

metropolitan November 20, 2008 at 6:15 pm

he’s much funnier in the cartoons.
well, that is unless in the interview he’s being ironically unfunny. if that’s the case, then he’s hilarious.
but to his credit he does look like one of those geeky dude hotties in that picture.

sossajes November 20, 2008 at 6:21 pm

thank you David Rees, you are a true american hero

wailing guitars

p-Sludge ofTheElves November 20, 2008 at 6:25 pm

it hurt me when they didn’t renew “Stroker & Hoop”.
Every time someone mentions Jon Glaser I take a personal moment.

facehead November 20, 2008 at 6:28 pm

Does he do children’s parties?

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Wow, that interview sounds like Ken Layne interviewing himself. Or David Rees interviewing himself. Nevertheless, the resemblance in tone is frightening.

Also, I noticed Ken scrupulously avoided ess-apostrophe/apostrophe-ess conundrum that I’ve been obsessed with today. Wouldn’t saying something like “David Rees’ new book…” have been the perfect opportunity to settle the issue? (And that’s four for me today, btw.)

melvinjunko November 20, 2008 at 6:29 pm

When I was about 15 David Rees came to my school and I called him a jackass. This, I have since seen, was probably unwarranted. Oops David Rees!

clover November 20, 2008 at 6:34 pm

i used to like that cartoon when i had a job at a cubicle, but then i quit my job and never thought of MNFTIU again.
until now, because i read wonkette, because of the election, but maybe that will taper off too now that that’s over.
i hope. it’s such a time suck.

Scandalabra November 20, 2008 at 6:40 pm

I’d hit it in a heartbeat.

Josh Fruhlinger November 20, 2008 at 6:41 pm

I saw David Rees open for John Hodgman (yes, like at a rock show … it was like a rock show, except with ironic hipster nerdery instead of rock and roll) and he was fucking hilarious. Using only an overhead projector, he brought us all back in time to convince Lincoln to stop wearing a beret and to put on a more iconic stovepipe hat instead. I swear I’m not making that up. Anyway, he’s funny and you should go. It’s even free, you cheap bastards.

cal November 20, 2008 at 6:42 pm

David Rees is kinda cute. Is Wonkette arranging dates?

shortsshortsshorts November 20, 2008 at 6:45 pm

I would love to brain-fuck him. He’s a fucking 10.

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2008 at 6:46 pm

Oh cool — he’s going to be in Richmond on Saturday.

El Topo November 20, 2008 at 7:03 pm

þæt’s not Old English. It’s Middle English at best. Shame on you, Reesie.

NewSpence November 20, 2008 at 7:04 pm

I’d like to do some bloggering with David Rees. He makes my magic underpants itch.

NewSpence November 20, 2008 at 7:06 pm

BTW, when I was a lowly Johnnie undergrad, we did Lavoisier in chemistry, reading a contemporary translation.
“Ye fuck the aire through the glaff…”

Speed Ball November 20, 2008 at 7:09 pm

He’s OK with me! I’ve read his cartoon and often wonder WHY I DIDN’T DO THAT. Until of course I remember I have no ideas and I’m just sort of sad and full of contempt for all those around me. Oh right, that!

Anonymous Office Zombie November 20, 2008 at 7:11 pm

I have been a long time fan of the Rees ever since I ran across My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable many a year ago.

Did you know that like many of us with our worthless humanities degrees, Rees studied the LIEberal arts of philosophy in elitist university/college? Furthermore, have you ever pondered what it would have happened if David Rees became obsessed with Wittgenstein and flew off to merry olde England to study him and then wrote a humorous anecdote concerning it? You’re in luck!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/539219/ref%3Ded_wui_bb_rees/102-6029169-2905705

marioninnyc November 20, 2008 at 7:19 pm

I don’t think the bitterness of the comic strip translates to the cartoons. The strip seemed take no prisoners, in your face. The cartoons are just kind of humorous, no disrespect. But then again, I used to read them for free on the web and never once donated a dime, so who am I to have an opinion?

PerhapsSo November 20, 2008 at 7:34 pm

He is hot. Is he coming to Philadelphia anytime soon? We have more than just brotherly love ’round these parts, Mr. Rees.

hansdog November 20, 2008 at 7:40 pm

Peemit buddar iths tha beths food evar!!
Gulp, gurgle – so too is beer.
The end.

Sire Says November 20, 2008 at 7:54 pm

Good god he is hot

ioksotot23 November 20, 2008 at 8:28 pm

wrote to him in Ought-two or three suggesting I’d like to distribute his stuff samizdat style…he wrote back “No, dude, just buy the book, I’m looking to make some money here”…this before Rolling Stone et.al. … can’t blame him though…good stuff….

Atheist Nun November 20, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Hey hey, I might just reconsider my imaginary vow of celibacy for some of that mancandy: Rees Pieces! Rawr.

Funny is so very sexy.

HomoPolitico November 20, 2008 at 9:14 pm

WANT!

slinkimalinki November 20, 2008 at 9:29 pm

he misspelled corpfef.

slinkimalinki November 20, 2008 at 9:32 pm

*miffpelled.
forry, what waf i thinkyng.

loquaciousmusic November 20, 2008 at 9:46 pm

[re=182684]SayItWithWookies[/re]: LISTEN UP PEOPLE.

I am a sixth-grade English teacher.

So I can enlighten you about the apostrophez.

If you have a word that ends in “s,” see, and it’s a HOT SINGULAR WORD, then you’re always correct in adding an apostrophe:

James’s basement
David Rees’s buttsecks

This is always true, 100% of the time, UNLESS you are talking about:

Jesus’ disciples

Then you add the “s-apostrophe.” Because, in the words of Phil Collins, “Jesus’, he know’s me, and he know’s I’m right.”

sanantonerose November 21, 2008 at 12:05 am

the lethargy and despair that I carry around with me like an overcoat made out of soggy death.

Dear god, I want to kill myself after reading that sentence.

Lascauxcaveman November 21, 2008 at 1:59 am

[re=182801]loquaciousmusic[/re]: [re=182926]sanantonerose[/re]: Lighten up, Francis.

dannygutters November 21, 2008 at 8:53 am

[re=182692]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: I concur. I saw these two in chicago, it was hilarious and free.

blader November 21, 2008 at 9:01 am

He’s EXACTLY like Nate Silver except with crude scatological humor

Hamster November 21, 2008 at 9:40 am

[re=182692]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Oh hell yes, saw him at UB, I still have one of the “Time Travel Pills” he handed out, which was a Tick-Tack. So funny, totally stole the show from Hodgeman.

Meaux November 21, 2008 at 10:06 am

[re=182801]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Thank you for posting that, so that I did not have to. However, I do put a ‘s after Jesus–a singular noun ending in an S is a singular noun ending in an S and that’s that.

loquaciousmusic November 21, 2008 at 10:10 am

[re=183122]Meaux[/re]: We spend a lot of time writing about Jesus on this site. I’m sorry, I mean Gorilla Boy.

Mista Eko November 21, 2008 at 10:59 am

I was a cartoonist in college, and I drew a Bush re-election campaign cartoon with a string of curse words as the title and a guy trying to set up a his own hanging while his friend asked him who won. I later went to a Rees talk, who signed it and added “Watch the profanity!”

That comic is now framed in my apartment.

Thanks, Dave.

GudrunBrangwen November 21, 2008 at 1:43 pm

He’s married, y’all. Too bad, because he’s the perfect man. (I saw him do a reading in D.C. 3 or 4 years ago; pretending that his audience had never heard of the internet, he “explained” it for us, using only an overhead projector. He had a transparency with a picture of a mouse arrow thingie, which he used to mimic the action of clicking on an e-mail about penis enlargement. It was hilarious.)

palmerdawg November 22, 2008 at 1:34 am

MAN, FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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