Oh here is a fun game! Check out these actual disputed voter ballots from Minnesota, and look at what laughable excuses the Coleman and Franken campaigns have for arguing “voter intent” in one direction or the other. Minnesota Public Radio, you have rendered a valuable time-wasting service unto the nation. [MPR via First Read]
ELECTORAL TRIUMPH OF THE LIZARD PEOPLE
November 20, 2008
Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!
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{ 88 comments }
When did David Icke move to Minnesota?
Wow…my opinion of the scary Diebold electronic voting machines just went up a lot.
One vote for Franken, two votes for Coleman. This voter also killed two cockroaches with his ballot. All in all, a full day.
Lizard People will declared the winner of all elections in Minnesota, but then be disqualified because it turned out he moved to Wisconsin.
[re=182232]FreshCliches[/re]: My first thought, too
Them fucking stupid Lizard People. Mole People know better than that. Hans Moleman for Senator!
i see lizrd peepel.
I can haz Lizard People instead of Michelle Bachmann, plz?
Didn’t Nate Silver say that the Lizard People vote wouldn’t have a significant effect on the outcome of the Minnesota senate race?
Lizard People? Jesse Ventura wasn’t even running.
If you are too retarded to understand the simple instructions on a ballot, you should be kicked out of America. Which means approximately 75% of the country must now leave. Sad day for democracy.
When Ed Jew was elected supervisor in SF, Lizard People was a close second. At least the Lizard People actually LIVED HERE.
Wait wait wait. Democratic Farmer Labor? What the hell is that? Some sort of Illegals Socialist?
[re=182233]Blue Line[/re]: Ditto.
I gave this one to Al Franken. Everybody knows that Lizard People are called Sleestacks, so there’s no way this guy meant to vote for them.
The ballot was printed with Lizard People on it? That’s not right. You can only vote for one candidate at a time, and the People part clearly implies a plural. That ballot was illegal from the getgo.
See? You really can do lots of good as a grammar superhero. Or grammar thug. You’re all fucking welcome.
If Lizard People ruled Minnesota, Wonkette should hire a special Minnesota correspondent to tell us all about the fun that would ensue.
Hmmm I guess the Lizard People need to elect new leaders, as the Lizard King died in some dive hotel in Paris a long figgin time ago!
I read the MPR page and was thinking, “How confused do people have to be to screw up a ballot?” And then I accidentally voted for the wrong choice in one of them. I now recuse myself in shame. Okay, I’m back. What dumbasses.
Lizard people, people! You know, more than one. This is clearly the paper equivalent of pulling the straight Republican ticket lever in those old mechanical voting booths.
Lizard People > Village People
Lizard People, singular: http://www.yowazzup.com/blog/images/lizard-couch.jpg
Didn’t Minnesota’s vampire population eat all the lizard people?
http://wonkette.com/politics/jonathan-sharkey/breaking-sharkey-arrested-151803.php
Kinda reminds me of this:
http://www.milkeggsvodka.com/
What’s wrong with ensuring that you have the option to vote for Lizard People, but voting for Al Franken instead? That voter clearly just wanted to send a message that Lizard People was (were?) unqualified for that particular job.
Ralph Nader would like to tell you that the Lizard People are the same corrupt DC-centric party as all the rest. Also, please send him $5 for his mother’s hummus recipe. $25 gets you her baba ganouj recipe, but that shit is INTENSE.
Maybe someone from Geico whote that in.
What % did Sekula-Gibbs get?
[re=182233]Blue Line[/re]: why? Because they are stored in pollworkers front yards/garages the night before election day, can be easily hacked, and leave no paper trail?
99.999999999999% of those ballots should be rejected.
This is about the part where I say I’m not originally from Minnesota.
Lizard People eh? Allright, which one of you did it? C’mon, fess up, it’s way too Wonketty.
holy shit, how hard is it to fill in a little circle? i like the eraser ballot, how can you argue with craqckerjack logic like that?
Sleestak for Congress!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bb/Land_of_the_Lost_%281974%29_-_Sleestak.jpg
[re=182254]PerhapsSo[/re]: I’m from Minnesota! Pick me! Pick me!
why does this state have the “intent” thing anyway.
Could we please just take the franchise away from Minnesotans, once and for all? I appreciate their sense of humor, but voting has to be more than just an ironic joke, okay?
Is Jim Morrison King of the Lizard People?
Lizard people? Somebody is a fan of the 1980s TeeVee series “V”…
[re=182267]druranium[/re]: That’s why my opinion of them was low in the first place. My opinion went up because these pictures made me think that maybe they help supress rampant stupidity of people who can’t manage to fill in a circle.
Al Franken is clearly of the Frog People race. Voter must have decided that an amphibian would be an acceptable substitute to the preferred reptilian overlords.
Lizard People are not fit to hold office. Give me the Clay People any day of the week. They are the salt of the earth. Actually, not the salt of the earth, just the plain earth.
I, for one, shall welcome our lizard people overlords.
Lizard People—> Limp Lizard —-> Viagra —> Norm Coleman.
The voter’s intent was clear.
[re=182287]shanemcgowan[/re]: he WAS… lizards people have been on a long SAD, as their king died 37 years ago. Just now coming out of their depression(THANKS, ZOLOFT), the Lizard people looking for new leadership.
A vote for the Lizard People is just a vote for a continuation of same failed policies of the past eight years. Who are these people who keep voting Lizard? It boggles the mind.
Somehow, someway I just knew Sleestacks would make their way back into politics. Lizard People indeed.
I, for one, welcome our Lizard People overlords.
I happen to know Lizard Peoples. He’s a great guy. Has a terrible skin condition, but still. You won’t meet a nicer person on this planet.
Lizard People is either one of Jessee Ventura’s wrestling nom de guerres or what Prince is calling himself nowadays.
That’s fucking rad. He wrote in Lizard People but didn’t vote for him. It’s like a vote for including Lizard People on all future ballots without an express endorsement of Lizard People for Minnesota Senate. It’s fucking genius. I’m in awe.
[re=182339]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: too late!
Hook the Lizard People up with the Crab People from SP (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Park_Is_Gay!), and you have THE winning ticket for 2012. A truly bipartisan ticket that reaches out to both vertebrates and invertebrates alike.
Although democracy continues to hold the lizard people back, I was also interested in the egg for Coleman, sperm for Franken ballot.
It seems that Lizard People have aspirations for higher office.
But really, I can absolutely see rejecting things like the eraser ballot and the crossout ballot and the “NO” ballot, because who’s to say the voter was the one who made the correction and not some campaign operative? Though the poll workers should be able to shred these and make the voter fill one out right.
My favorite is the one where someone drew a sperm over Al Franken’s name.
[re=182273]freakishlystrong[/re]: If that was someone from Wonkette, either Lizard People would be crossed out and Big $ale on TRUCK NUTZ! would be scrawled next to it, or the votes would be marked with tiny, crudely drawn Whore Diamonds.
For years I’ve been telling people that optical scan ballots have the same voter intent problems as punchcard ballots, but no one ever listens. Of course I probably shouldn’t be telling them by screaming the news while dancing naked on a freeway overpass, but the point is still valid.
I worked elections once and had to review a bunch of these questionable marks. My favorite was the voter who, when given the choice to fill in a circle next to YES or NO, wrote the word “NO” in the circle next to YES. Such a voter isn’t even demonstrating consciousness, let alone intent.
[re=182288]Frampton Comes Alive[/re]:
They’re the Anti-Gerbils.
[re=182418]Godot[/re]: There has to be a strong presumption that the voter made the marks on the ballot. Otherwise you open Pandora’s box and out fly ugly accusations of all kinds. Procedures at the polls should be such that no one other than the voter and the pollworker can handle the ballot — if that breaks down, all bets are off.
[re=182238]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I for one welcome our new Reptilian Overlords.
[re=182339]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: dammitohell!!!!!!!!
I actually did a CTRL+F for “I for one”….if I’d only had a grammar/punctuation overlord….
I love that on the Minnesota Public Radio website, they let people vote for how they think each ballot should be counted, and they actually allow voters to choose “lizard people” as a voting option! Over 2,400 people who visited the site said that’s who should be officially entered from that ballot!!! I heart you, MPR and MPR readers.
Yet another reason to increase the minimum voting age to 50.
[re=182257]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I think “Lizard People” is, in fact, the proper name of one person. Sort of similar to “Tiger Woods.” She has probably gone by “Liz” since at least first grade.
That’s it. I’m unilaterally moving Minnesota behind Alaska and ahead of West Virginia for states to be mocked and avoided. They elected: Jesse Ventura, Michelle Bachman (twice), Norm Coleman (1.5 times–thus far) and hosted the RNC. They are nice people who have been getting a pass for way to long just because they are nice. However, they are clearly inbred, half-tards.
I had no idea it was so difficult to fill in a bubble. Way to go, America.
[re=182423]zetetic[/re]:
“Such a voter isn’t even demonstrating consciousness, let alone intent.”
I believe the same could be said for any WALNUTS!/Caribou Barbie voter, no?
[re=182281]jodyleek[/re]: Lizard Correspondent? Lizard Liaison? Lizard Whisperer? What is the title that goes with that job description?
[re=182448]Carrie_Okie[/re]: I, for one, like “Reptilian” better, though; so there’s that.
[/punctuation overkill]
[re=182479]PerhapsSo[/re]: Lizard Lips.
The news is funnier than me today. Keep it coming.
[re=182454]snufflesalphonse[/re]: You spelt “maximum” wrong.
Lizard People don’t get voted in. Lizard People invade. Don’t they have the Sci-Fi channel in Minnesota?
Where is the photo of Sarah “The Lizard Lady” Palin?
I thought Hillary asked people not to fill in her name.
[re=182264]Dave J.[/re]: one vote for every lemon in mama nader’s hummus
Did anyone vote for DraculaCunt? I have voted for DraculaCunt in various federal, state, local, PTA, and Editor-in-Chief elections, and generally yell the name off my roof at night — weather permitting, of course.
You think you are typing into a blog, but the lizard people see this as a translator to their language. You fools!! They are getting the advantage while you blithely yammer away!
Srsly, if you can’t figure out how to scribble in an oval, you’re too stupid to live. That your brain has figured out how to keep your heart beating is a miracle of science.
Morans, the lot of them.
though he’s never run on that ticket i think dick cheney is actually one of the lizard people, any disagreement?
whoever submitted that ballot must be laughing his ass off right now
[re=182837]heathenish[/re]: hold on now, let’s not insult the lizard people
Obvious troll is obvious.
[re=182249]Noodle Salad[/re]: The DFL is a coalition party put together in the 1930s. Republicans in Minnesota, for many years, called themselves Independent-Republicans to distance themselves from the crazies who had taken control of the national party … until MN crazies (e.g. Bachmann) also took control of the IR in the late 1990s and the party name reverted back to its national moniker.
Ohh Bummer that, Lizard People gut got his 15 minutes of fame and we’ll never know know who he is.
Leave Lizard People alone! *sniffle* SOB…right now…I mean it.
How can they determine the legitimate intent of the voter when they consistently refuse to use the Vulcan Mind Meld.
CONGRATS SENATOR FRANKEN! YOU’VE DONE GOOD! THE US SENATE NEEDS MEN LIKE YOU! COLEMAN IS A SORE LOSER! LOOK AT HIM WHINING LIKE A LITTLE GIIIIRRRRRRL! FRANKEN FOR PRESIDENT!!!
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