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FAMILY VALUES

Unmarried Congresslady Linda Sanchez Is Pregnant!

!Viva la hermanas Sanchez!California has two terrific Sanchez Sisters in Congress, and one of them is illegally having a bastard child soon! Rep. Linda Sanchez, D-Sodom & Gomorrah, is expecting a new little Sanchez soon, and it was fathered by babymama Jim Sullivan, her longtime boyfriend. Happy whatever you call this, Congresslady Linda! Also we have not heard from “the crazier one,” Loretta Sanchez, in quite a while — but we know Rep. Loretta’s weird new Christmas card should be in our mailbox pretty soon! [Reliable Source via "Lily E."]


1:25 PM on Thu November 20 2008
By Ken Layne
2404 Views

  1. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:28 pm, November 20th, 2008

    ABORT. ABORT mission. ABORT!!!!!!!1!

  2. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:31 pm, November 20th, 2008

    …unless its a Downs Syndrome baby then I don’t wanna hear about it!

  3. metropolitan says at 1:33 pm, November 20th, 2008

    damn, everyone wants a multi-ethnic kid now that it’s clear it gets you two demographics voting for you.

  4. freakishlystrong says at 1:33 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Uhh…her x-mas card..expect, like, a million pussy jokes…

  5. Doglessliberal says at 1:35 pm, November 20th, 2008

    She notes that “there are certain things in life you need to do in reverse order.” Linda, just admit it: you needed to get preggers before it was too late and didn’t feel like marrying your sperm donor first, if at all. Mazel tov, however. Maybe the next Sanchez Congressperson is in the oven.

  6. Shame on this woman! Doesn”t she know that in this enlightened day and age, Only teenage Republican girls in Alaska with a fuckin redneck for a boyfriend are allowed to get knocked up out of wedlock!

  7. seriesoftubescleaner says at 1:37 pm, November 20th, 2008

    It’s clear that her parents let her run around unsupervised so it’s safe to comment Billo.

  8. SayItWithWookies says at 1:37 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Does she know if it’s a socialist yet?
    And I’m so looking forward to Loretta Sanchez’ (yes, I did it again!) Christmas card. It’s one of the highlights of the season for me. That and the coal.

  9. magic titty says at 1:38 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Doesn’t anyone have sex in the face anymore??

  10. problemwithcaring says at 1:41 pm, November 20th, 2008

    What’s the opposite of a cougar?

  11. hedgehog says at 1:42 pm, November 20th, 2008

    I’ll bet the baby will be the spitting image of Levi Johnston.

  12. Mull_Man says at 1:44 pm, November 20th, 2008

    “Someone needs to do an penetrating expose on unwed Mexican lesbian incest in Congress. I think the American people would really like that.”

    Michele Bachmann

  13. metropolitan says at 1:45 pm, November 20th, 2008

    i wonder when the ultrasound will tell her if the baby is going to be gay or straight.

  14. Cape Clod says at 1:45 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Doesn’t Oscar and Felix date the Sanchez sisters in the hispanic version of “The Odd Couple”?

  15. DustBowlBlues says at 1:46 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Damn. She didn’t have an abortion? Does this mean she’ll have to become a Republican?

  16. metropolitan says at 1:46 pm, November 20th, 2008

    is that linda sachez’ “anchor baby” so she can stay legally in the USA?

  17. RabidHamster says at 1:47 pm, November 20th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Whaddya have against her dirty little Sanchez?

  18. soytrucknutz says at 1:47 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Linda Sanchez, on the night she was crowned the funniest celebrity in Washington two years ago, joked, “I know the pain of the U.S. Soccer team. I know what it’s like to only score twice in four years!” Apparently twice was enough. Seriously, congratulations to a really great member of congress!

  19. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:47 pm, November 20th, 2008

    problemwithcaring: Megan’s Law.

  20. DustBowlBlues says at 1:48 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Fuck you, Wonkerrati. I got so distracted I burned my grill cheese sandwich, which is a polite euphemism for grilled cheese sandwich, btw.

  21. Mull_Man: Only if there is actual video of the lesbian incest…. they it would be a serious money-maker on the Pay per View!!

  22. choinski says at 1:49 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Linda is besoiled. Dirty, dirty Sanchez.

  23. space stout says at 1:52 pm, November 20th, 2008

    has the fetus begun its own congressional campaign yet?

  24. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:53 pm, November 20th, 2008

    choinski: Hot Carl trumps the dirty sanchez. It is a fakt.

  25. soytrucknutz says at 1:54 pm, November 20th, 2008

    DustBowlBlues: You can afford cheese?

  26. Serolf Divad says at 1:56 pm, November 20th, 2008

    LOL, I love the way the Washington Post captions the Picture: “Rep. Linda Sanchez and her unofficial fiance Jim Sullivan”

    What exactly is an “unofficial” fiance? Is that the Washington Post’s way of saying: “this means you will be getting married, right?”

  27. problemwithcaring says at 2:02 pm, November 20th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: OK, and see I was thinking more Robert Novak, but OK.

  28. choinski says at 2:04 pm, November 20th, 2008

    She’ll name it after the father: li’l Brickbat Levi Johnston-Sanchez Jr

  29. articulate moran says at 2:08 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Serolf Divad: Her mother actually does the captions for the Washington Post. (Her grandmother works the obits).

  30. metropolitan says at 2:11 pm, November 20th, 2008

    RabidHamster:
    oh damn, i can’t believe i missed giving a comment with a dirty sanchez reference!
    you win.

  31. metropolitan says at 2:12 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Serolf Divad:
    i think it just means he doesn’t have a federal job.

  32. kimbongil says at 2:12 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Id hit that, but then again, look at my picture

  33. Doglessliberal says at 2:15 pm, November 20th, 2008

    articulate moran: then the caption really should have been

    “Rep. Linda Sanchez is finally pregnant, thank God. I never thought I would be a grandmother because neither of my girls has seen fit to produce any grandbabies for me, and really, what kind of lifestyle is this political stuff for a woman who wants to be a mother?? So no surprise that they have not done this for me yet, but still it has been breaking my heart. I am not getting any younger, you know!? Oh and this is the guy.”

  34. Doglessliberal: id hit em both, together or one after the other, id even start with the chunky one, i like a bigg’un every now and then.

  35. Red Baron says at 2:24 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Good luck to Linda, her unofficial fiance, and their unofficial bastard. I heard a rumor that sister Loretta’s racy holiday card this year will finally include a picture of her unofficial boyfriend, who is still officially married to someone else. Three cheers for Californication!

  36. If it doesn’t work out, I hear she could probably hand it off to Michele Bachmann. Hands across the aisle, and all that.

  37. Doglessliberal: ok that last comment was a reply to the comment just to the north of you

  38. pondscum says at 2:26 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: They’re Jewish?

  39. Citizen Kang says at 2:28 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Awww…my congress-critter is having a bastard critter. I should send her something. I almost feel bad for sending her that mean e-mail about not pressing charges against the Bush administration. Linda, the people of the 39th district, Cerritos in particular, wish you and your illegitimate child all the best.

  40. RabidHamster says at 2:31 pm, November 20th, 2008

    metropolitan: I’m just amazed there hadn’t already been 20 Dirty Sanches posts before mine. That was the lowest hanging fruit I’d seen in ages. I feel so dirty . . .

  41. Lazy Media says at 2:32 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Great. Like we need another congresskid running around Capitol Hill, daring the cops to give him a skateboarding ticket.

  42. hedgehog says at 2:36 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Loretta had better hold on tight or she’ll have a sandy pussy

  43. Doglessliberal says at 2:37 pm, November 20th, 2008

    pondscum: trust me, that sentiment (guilt trip) crosses religious and cultural lines.

  44. Red Baron says at 2:39 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Unwed mothers deserve to be represented in Congress. Adulterers and fornicators are an important demographic as well. Perhaps these Californicators should run political ads on the Playboy channel. Why not? Loretta holds notorious fundraisers at Hef’s brothel/mansion in Beverly Hills.

  45. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend says at 2:52 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Red Baron: I believe adulterers are well represented.

  46. Speaking of unwed, closet lesbians, howzabout that Napolitano Homeland Security babe?

  47. What a disgrace. I am sick of hearing about and supporting unwed welfare queen baby mommas. This reeks of socialism. How many liberal harlots have to get knocked up before you “elitists” realize that ABSTINANCE ONLY is the cure for all socail ills. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! GET A BRAIN MORANS!!!!11!~~!

  48. Red Baron says at 3:42 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Oh well, c’est la vie. It isn’t the baby’s fault. Those of us who follow the Sanchez sisters’ antics are eagerly waiting for Loretta to come out and ‘fess up about her “unofficial” fiance. She and Jack Einwachter hooked up at least five years ago when he was her military escort. What’s the big secret, Loretta? I hope the rumors about him being on the xxx-mas card this year are true.

  49. Fivetree says at 5:29 pm, November 20th, 2008

    As long as her mother is also running for Vice-President I don’t see why the Republicans should have any problems with this.

  50. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:44 pm, November 20th, 2008

    In Alaska, they know how to take care of these sort of problem.

    But why does Congresswoman Sanchez need a campaign prop so badly?

  51. Senator Bateman says at 5:53 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Loretta Sanchez is the congresswoman in my district. That woman is schizo. She went off on a kid at an open forum at my high school about eight years ago for asking what exactly a congress person does.

  52. John McDouche 08 says at 10:04 pm, November 20th, 2008

    Ididn’t know that a diry sanchez could go so horribly wrong!

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