Wonkette
UNCLE TED TO DELIVER HEARTBREAKING SWAN SONG: Ooooh this will be good! We hear that Ted Stevens will be giving his valedictory address to the Senate at 11am Eastern, so we will be liveblogging that. Get yourself a carton of caribou jerkey and we’ll see you back here in an hour. [Washington Post]
I’m predicting that he’ll pull out an acoustic guitar and sing a touching, half-mumbled, half-stuttered version of “Time of your life” by Green Day
Can’t we just feed him to the Kodiak or Polar bears?
NO!!! NO!!! MUST HAVE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE!!! WAAAAAAAH!!!
In accordance with the ancient bushido code of honor, will commit honorary Seppuku on the floor of the senate. Murkowski will perform the honorary role of the second, and will perform the final slice of the katana.
Take off - to the great white north.
Take off - it’s a beauty way to go.
Ooh, such a beautiful way to break your heart.
There’s someone calling your name,
It’s driving you insane.
Maybe his collegues will chip in and present him with a recliner as a going away present.
Seriously, what’s the protocol for a proper goodbye to a man who is headed off to the pokey? Are his fellow Senators supposed to give him flowers or tips on what gang he should join?
What, no liveblogging?
A spokesperson for the senator reported he will begin his address dressed like a polar bear and before speaking will do a silent, interpretive dance entitled “I’m Not a Truck, I’m a Series of Tubes.”
Schadenfried: Oh, duh, helped if I read the whole post.
DoctorCulturae: i assume that’s not appropriate for the children
mattbolt: I’m predicting he will pull out a pistol and “Go Senatal”
Giddy I am, at this news!
Kumbaya
At least let the poor bastard keep his fish statue.
After his speech he will beat Senator DeMint to death with his cane. He will receive a standing ovation by both the Democrats and Republicans.
I’d rather see Sarah Palin in Huslter Magazine.
I expect plenty of Seward sonnets, and a homemade dynamite vest to complement his Hulk tie.
I heard he’s coming out to Jay-Z’s “H to the Izzo”.
There’s only one true Uncle Ted in my book, and that’s Ted Kennedy. Stevens was like that surly relative you saw maybe every third Thanksgiving that the kids were all scared of.
Even the tundra wanted him dead. That’s who he took his orders from, anyway.
Larry Fine: Begin with a super closeup moisture on the lens shot, and then do some real photographic investigation of what’s going on inside her.
Damn, before breakfast and already trippin’, you betcha.
It could never top this swan song
http://www.imeem.com/people/4Nvmmj8/music/-rQuZQqZ/yoyo_ma_camille_saintsaens_the_swan/
sorry, cello nerd. I’m done now.
shit. that link sucks now. i am a FAIL.
magic titty: If he did that, I would see him as an actual human with real taste and then begin to pity him.
Given his light touch with rhetoric, I’m sure this will be an understated and graceful departure…
Live-streaming video? Check.
Comfy ergonomic office chair? Check.
Private office so that no one can hear me chuckling gleefully? Check.
Cowbell? Well, hell. Where did I put the cowbell?
I wonder what the +/- is on how many times he blames the “liberal media” for all of his problems.
How sweet. He just said how much he loved his family. I presume that also means the Woman Under the Bus.
Hopefully he’ll punch out another Senator so that when he goes to prison he won’t have to punch out Bubba.
What do youze guys wanna bet Bush pardons him on The Last Day?
mattbolt: So he’ll do a perfect rendition of the original, then?
Good riddance.
http://www.entertonement.com/collections/7653/Ted-Stevens%27-Final-Farewell