Ted Stevens didn’t have a chance at winning his Senate race — not after reports surfaced that the RNC had paid $150,000 for his elaborate pine-tar facials and wardrobe of decaying burlap sacks. Thanks to commenter “belmonttau” for the screenshot.
NYT: Disgraced Alaskan Senator Was A Mummy
Previous post: Nate Silver Cussed Out By Angry Wingnut
Next post: Hillary Decides: Obama’s Cabinet Or Debtor’s Prison?
{ 32 comments }
The facial treatment makes him look younger, and happier.
Beware the curse of Ted Stevens
Encino Man went on to enjoy much success and popularity in high school after his thawing out. Maybe Ted can really make a go of it in prison.
I think we should talk about term limits — again.
Ted Stevens says so long and thanks for all the
fishgifts.Stevens has been in the U.S. Senate since the reign of Semerkhet, the 6th Pharoah of the first Dynastic period.
The real story here is that 46.7258% of Alaskans looked at all the facts and said, “eh, why not, let’s vote for the Mummy Felon again. Been doin’ it so long I didn’t know you could vote for someone else? I can haz choice?”
That looks just like Mrs. Aurelio before she puts her makeup on.
Still not as bad as ACORN getting mummies to vote Obama. DEMAND A RE-COUNT AT TUTANKHAMUN’S TOMB!!
[re=180901]Serolf Divad[/re]:
I thought he was there when Moses told Pharaoh to “Let my people go!”
“Noooooooooooo!”
You can really see the Peruvian side of his family coming out in that picture.
Yay! That’s me. He looks so peaceful. Thank God for the internets.
baked alaskans never looked so good. (wink wink)
http://www.charlietueats.com
The ‘Ted Stevens is walking death’ theory makes sense, especially as I’ve always though he looked like the guy from Weekend at Bernie’s.
It wasn’t the revelations of the the cost of mummification that did Stevens in. It was the admission by the party that as part of the preservation process Uncle Ted’s brain had to be pulled out through his nose using a hook.
[re=180903]Aurelio[/re]: Hey-yo! *rim shot*.
NPR did a phone interview with Begich last night. He went outside to talk because of the victory celebration noise. He did the interview standing outside with no coat and no suit jacket and it was 7 degrees.
This Begich dingus might die of pneumonia before he can get sworn in oh noes.
Uncle Tedankhamun.
Ted, you should have consulted our formerly communist friends. They made alot of advancements in the field of modern mummification since the pharohs. If you visit Lenin or Ho Chi Minh’s tombs, those guess are kissably well preserved.
Never, ever be the first to buy mummifcation techniques until they are proven.
…you guys should see how bad he look BEFORE the Botox!
The process of mummification doesn’t use a truck. It uses a series of tubes.
How am I supposed to believe that this isnt a picture of Robert Byrd?
Nice of them to flatter Stevens with his high school yearbook photo. Incidentally, he was voted “Most Fuckable” by the embalming club.
[re=180930]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Where the hell have YOU been, blak man?
After scoring near the top of an aptitude test for flight training, Stevens was transferred to preflight training in Santa Ana, California and received his wings early in 1944. He went on to Bergstrom Field in Texas, where he trained to fly P-38s; but, because during the graduation ceremony a fellow graduate booed the colonel who delivered the graduation address, Stevens never flew a fighter in combat. Instead, he later recalled, “Suddenly we were copilots in a troop carrier squad.”[6]
haha, and then got punked for some home renos. Dumbass, why didn’t he just born the son, and grandson of an Admiral? Dumbass.
Ted must hate when his “human” mask falls off and he’s revealed as a soul-sucking Egyptian vampire-ghoul born the spawn of Set. Darn it!
I can smell his breath from Wasilla, also.
-SP
It’s just “so Uncle Ted” that he keeps a suppository handy in his glass sleeping coffin.
[re=180986]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …I’ve been to busy fortifying my house and stocking up on porn, booze & ammunition. You can never be too prepared for an inauguration/race war!
OK, i’m not gay… but that mummy is pretty hot.
The Russians looked across at Sarah’s house and report that she was keeping Senator Ted’s corpse on the front porch until the ground thaws come Spring.
And it is said in Alaska to this day, that on the night of the full Moon, Senator Stevens rises and still walks upon the land.
With Sen. Steven’s fall from grace, the Dems are forced to pin their hopes of a filibuster-proof majority on the illustrious Al Franken aka Stuart Smalley of Minnesota!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Comments on this entry are closed.