IT BURNSWhat better way to celebrate your favorite President-elect than by taking a leering purple gnome-head and rubbing it joyously over your nethers? Buy sixteen million for your family and friends, for the holidays, and they will never ask you for a holiday gift again. [Etsy via Washington Post]

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  1. To Mr Gnome Head:

    Some wise man, maybe it was black Jesus or the last son of Krypton, once handed me a tablet
    from a mountaintop. Inscribed were three bits of very special, rarely given advice that will
    make one’s life more full:

    1. Look out for other people, even when it doesn’t directly benefit you
    2. Strive to make a difference everywhere you go
    3. Get back up every time you are knocked down.

  2. [re=179604]TGY[/re]: It’ll look like him when he’s 68, bald, and hasn’t eaten in three months. And if his teeth grow. And he turns purple. It’s a striking resemblance, actually.

  3. [re=179608]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
    More like some old, white hick who’s 68 and bald, hasn’t eaten in three months, who froze to death outside and then was decapitated. Masterful craftmanship.

  4. Yeah but does it smell like hope or does it smell like sandalwood, teaberry, or Christmas cookie, which aren’t hopeful scents? I’d also like to commend them for skirting thiiiiiiiiiiis close to the bad side of “Sambo soap” without going over. It’s still pretty gruesome though, should have made it pumpkin scented and used it to scare children on Halloween.

  5. I think the worst part of this is that this hideous thing is resting on a bed of roses for some reason.

    Also! Why would I want a novelty item depicting an aged member of the “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids” gang? I think that’s Old Weird Harold.

  6. Is this some kind of perverted way that Hillz is using to pay off her campaign debts?

    I’m pretty sure there’s been no one in the history of (wo)mankind that paid, what $11m to become a secretary. If you help reduce those debts, then she won’t be a history maker in those regards anymore.

  7. Pope+Dope=Hope

    The genius management team at ACME Soap-an-a-rope came up with a wonderful cost savings idea.

    Take all the leftover John Paul II soaps in the Secaucus, New Jersey warehouse (top half of head) and fuse them together with all the leftover Jimmy Carter soaps in the Ft Lauderdale warehouse (bottom half of head).

    Et Viola!

    Fresh, clean, nice-looking, and who knows, maybe even articulate soap for the masses!

  8. Letterman way-back-when: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is a show you don’t want.”

    (peers carefully forward at the que card)

    ” – to miss! A show you don’t want to miss.”

    Also, on another distant occasion: “Tonight’s show is really g- … hmmm. I don’t wanna lie to them, Paul. Ladies and gentlemen … for your purposes … tonight’s show is- pretty good.”

  9. Okay, youse guys. First off, he’s purple because he’s uniting the red and the blue (= purple). He smells not like sandalwood, but like a breath of fresh air. Duh! But, I’m happy to take custom requests for scents and colors, as long as I run it past the Dugshop board of grand fromages, and of course for an additional fee.

    We do indeed have a Dubya Dope on a Rope, and a McCain Old Man McSame. We even have a Hillary or two still kicking around. Sarah Palin doesn’t get a big soap, but we did have a little pitbull with lipstick that we sold for a bit, although we gave every penny of profit to a woman’s shelter in tribute to Joe Biden, who didn’t have a soap at all.

    Sorry some of you don’t like the sculpture, we’re very attached to our sculptor and think he did a fab job. Perhaps it’s just my poor photography. I don’t understand the problem with the roses, though.

    Anyway, thanks, Wonkette, for the backhanded mention. For the record, our soap is of the highest quality, and smells great, so chances are your gift-ees WILL be happy with their present, damn it.

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