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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. NoWireHangers

    Besides, if I’m going to buy something with an Obama head on it, I’d spring for that Obama dildo. Makes a lovely gift for grandma.

  2. choinski

    To Mr Gnome Head:

    Some wise man, maybe it was black Jesus or the last son of Krypton, once handed me a tablet
    from a mountaintop. Inscribed were three bits of very special, rarely given advice that will
    make one’s life more full:

    1. Look out for other people, even when it doesn’t directly benefit you
    2. Strive to make a difference everywhere you go
    3. Get back up every time you are knocked down.

  3. NoWireHangers

    [re=179587]NoWireHangers[/re]: [re=179588]FreshCliches[/re]: [re=179591]widestanceromancer[/re]:


  4. FreshCliches


    Two more, and we’ve got Yahtzee.

  5. The Cold Sea

    [re=179593]choinski[/re]: Whoa there. That’s what Hopey wrote to my nephew! You mean, Hopey and Black Jesus from Krypton are the same?

  6. TGY

    Doesn’t look much like Barry. However, two, used over time, would certainly approach the shape of a pair of purple TruckNutz.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    [re=179604]TGY[/re]: It’ll look like him when he’s 68, bald, and hasn’t eaten in three months. And if his teeth grow. And he turns purple. It’s a striking resemblance, actually.

  8. Anonymous Office Zombie

    More like some old, white hick who’s 68 and bald, hasn’t eaten in three months, who froze to death outside and then was decapitated. Masterful craftmanship.

  9. Miller

    Yeah but does it smell like hope or does it smell like sandalwood, teaberry, or Christmas cookie, which aren’t hopeful scents? I’d also like to commend them for skirting thiiiiiiiiiiis close to the bad side of “Sambo soap” without going over. It’s still pretty gruesome though, should have made it pumpkin scented and used it to scare children on Halloween.


  10. OpusOne

    I think the worst part of this is that this hideous thing is resting on a bed of roses for some reason.

    Also! Why would I want a novelty item depicting an aged member of the “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids” gang? I think that’s Old Weird Harold.

  11. WadISay

    Will these same folks do a Sarah Palin on a rope, too? That would do my nethers-hygene program a world of good.

  12. Borat

    Is this some kind of perverted way that Hillz is using to pay off her campaign debts?

    I’m pretty sure there’s been no one in the history of (wo)mankind that paid, what $11m to become a secretary. If you help reduce those debts, then she won’t be a history maker in those regards anymore.

  13. Scaggsvillain


    The genius management team at ACME Soap-an-a-rope came up with a wonderful cost savings idea.

    Take all the leftover John Paul II soaps in the Secaucus, New Jersey warehouse (top half of head) and fuse them together with all the leftover Jimmy Carter soaps in the Ft Lauderdale warehouse (bottom half of head).

    Et Viola!

    Fresh, clean, nice-looking, and who knows, maybe even articulate soap for the masses!

  14. skippy

    [re=179621]misterarthur[/re]: Definitely Prince Charley. Must have had an overrun and decided to do some creative marketing.

  15. psychedelicSludge

    Letterman way-back-when: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is a show you don’t want.”

    (peers carefully forward at the que card)

    ” – to miss! A show you don’t want to miss.”

    Also, on another distant occasion: “Tonight’s show is really g- … hmmm. I don’t wanna lie to them, Paul. Ladies and gentlemen … for your purposes … tonight’s show is- pretty good.”

  16. dugshop

    Okay, youse guys. First off, he’s purple because he’s uniting the red and the blue (= purple). He smells not like sandalwood, but like a breath of fresh air. Duh! But, I’m happy to take custom requests for scents and colors, as long as I run it past the Dugshop board of grand fromages, and of course for an additional fee.

    We do indeed have a Dubya Dope on a Rope, and a McCain Old Man McSame. We even have a Hillary or two still kicking around. Sarah Palin doesn’t get a big soap, but we did have a little pitbull with lipstick that we sold for a bit, although we gave every penny of profit to a woman’s shelter in tribute to Joe Biden, who didn’t have a soap at all.

    Sorry some of you don’t like the sculpture, we’re very attached to our sculptor and think he did a fab job. Perhaps it’s just my poor photography. I don’t understand the problem with the roses, though.

    Anyway, thanks, Wonkette, for the backhanded mention. For the record, our soap is of the highest quality, and smells great, so chances are your gift-ees WILL be happy with their present, damn it.

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