HE HATES HENRY KISSINGER SO MUCH  9:07 am November 18, 2008

Christopher Hitchens Doesn’t Like Clinton For SecState

by Sara K. Smith

Necktie-free boozebag Christopher Hitchens does not like the idea of Hillary Clinton getting her grubby little paws all over America’s foreign policy. Meanwhile, Peter Beinart just shouts and shouts. Why so shouty, Peter? Be sure to watch till the end, when Hitchens’ hair wanders off his scalp and crawls away looking for a cheeseburger. [MSNBC]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


SuperRounder November 18, 2008 at 9:09 am

Hitchens and the Clintons should just hate fuck and get it over with.

ManchuCandidate November 18, 2008 at 9:10 am

Hitches always did have a hardon for the Hilsbot.

ForTheTurnstiles November 18, 2008 at 9:11 am

“A ludicrous embarrassment.”

Well spoken, gov’nor.

Borat November 18, 2008 at 9:12 am

Hillz is going will crush the peon like Russia has crushed Georgia.

mattbolt November 18, 2008 at 9:14 am

Silly print media! Hitchens you and your haircut that borders somewhere between hungover 80s rockstar and dishevelled math teacher, the only reason you will keep a job is because Vanity Fair will provide fuel that can be burned for warmth by the nation’s hobo demographic in the coming recession+depression=recpression.

mattbolt November 18, 2008 at 9:15 am

I’m still pissed that Colbert didn’t get the cabinet job he was gunning for.

Deepthroat November 18, 2008 at 9:16 am

I can haz Hitchens waterboarded ahgin?

Sonic Former Youth November 18, 2008 at 9:19 am

I feel like a ludicrous embarrassment for asking, but what’s the missing verb?

freakishlystrong November 18, 2008 at 9:27 am

I thought Hitch was a booze-free neckbag now?

Serolf Divad November 18, 2008 at 9:32 am

Hitchens is a complete piece of shit for accusing Hilary of “playing the race card” during the election, when he penned this embarrasment:

I direct your attention to Mrs. Obama’s 1985 thesis at Princeton University. Its title (rather limited in scope, given the author and the campus) is “Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community.” To describe it as hard to read would be a mistake; the thesis cannot be “read” at all, in the strict sense of the verb. This is because it wasn’t written in any known language.

Or even earlier when he wrote this:

Isn’t there something pathetic and embarrassing about this emphasis on shade? And why is a man with a white mother considered to be “black,” anyway? Is it for this that we fought so hard to get over Plessy v. Ferguson? Would we accept, if Obama’s mother had also been Jewish, that he would therefore be the first Jewish president? The more that people claim Obama’s mere identity to be a “breakthrough,” the more they demonstrate that they have failed to emancipate themselves from the original categories of identity that acted as a fetter upon clear thought.

Sen. Obama is a congregant of a church in Chicago called Trinity United Church of Christ. I recommend that you take a brisk tour of its Web site. Run by the sort of character that the press often guardedly describes as “flamboyant”—a man calling himself the Rev. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr.—this bizarre outfit describes itself as “Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian” and speaks of “a chosen people” whose nature we are allowed to assume is “Afrocentric.” Trinity United sells creationist books and its home page includes a graphic link to a thing called Goodsearch—the name is surmounted with a halo in its logo—which announces cheerily that “Every time you search or shop online! Our Church earns money.” Much or most of what Trinity United says is harmless and boring, rather like Gov. Mike Huckabee’s idiotic belief that his own success in Iowa is comparable to the “miracle” of the loaves and fishes, and the site offers a volume called Bad Girls of the Bible: Exploring Women of Questionable Virtue, which I have added to my cart, but nobody who wants to be taken seriously can possibly be associated with such a substandard and shade-oriented place.

Nothing the Clintons said during the campaign came close to Hitchens’ nastyness. Seriously, do we have to sit him down, pull the drink out of his hand, feed him 6 cups of coffee, slap him in the face for a while ’till he sobers up, and then explain to him why a man with a white mother and black father is considered black in America? It’s not about the genes, Hitch. It’s about how society perceives you.

TH42 November 18, 2008 at 9:34 am

Is it me or is Hitchens perpetually on the verge of throwing up in his own mouth. Vurp. He looks like me at work every Friday morning, except shinier.

professionalcynic November 18, 2008 at 9:35 am

Hitchens is just keeping it real, in his posh, British manner.

Servo November 18, 2008 at 9:37 am

Christ! Let’s just cut to the chase and put her goddamned mug on the next dollar coin!

norbizness November 18, 2008 at 9:39 am

I like Foster Brooks better when he sticks to comedy.

Monkey November 18, 2008 at 9:40 am

I don’t like it either. Whoever this Bitchens fella is, he can’t be all bad.

rmontcal November 18, 2008 at 9:47 am

The sooner we remove “Look…” from the political lexicon, the better. I know that even Obama says it, but when it is the first word out of Hitchens’s mouth, that’s just too much.

ForTheTurnstiles November 18, 2008 at 9:47 am

[re=179495]Serolf Divad[/re]: I actually agree with Hitchens on both counts. The first example you cite has more to do with the constipation of academic prose than with race; your second example is a fair-game critique of the madness that passes for religion in race-obsessed America.

I think you may be onto something when you suggest that Hitchens may have a pattern of racial bias which amounts to playing the race card. Hitchens is a slimy, shifty shit much of the time. He’s usually pretty accurate, however, when he disses religion and academia.

ForTheTurnstiles November 18, 2008 at 9:53 am
whiteasasheet November 18, 2008 at 9:54 am

Tweety looks like somebody farted while he endures Hitchens’ blather.

psychedelicSludge November 18, 2008 at 10:00 am

hair licks lips and sez: o hai! can I haz contrarianism nao?

Dreamer November 18, 2008 at 10:01 am

[re=179495]Serolf Divad[/re]: You forgot when he stated that since we were all from Africa then he was as African as Obama and basically accused him of using the race card. I think he also started that whole “Michelle is an angry black woman” thing.

On this though I hate to agree with Hitches but I must admit I am disillusioned with Hopey. First he gives senate democrats supportive of Liebermann a political cover by pardoning him; then he choices Hillary Clinton for SoS. This whole SoS thing looks like a fait accompli – let’s hope Barry has the guts to challenge Sen. Clinton when she steps off the line.

psychedelicSludge November 18, 2008 at 10:06 am

this sentence no verb

psychedelicSludge November 18, 2008 at 10:09 am

He looks in the mirror each day, and, holding onto the sink for support, says “Hillary Clinton is a drunken embarassment. Hillary Clinton is a drunken embarassment …”

Miller November 18, 2008 at 10:20 am

At least Hitchens has an alcohol induced reason for not wanting Hill-Dawg at State. The only pro-Hill arguments going around are “It’ll keep her from dicking Obama over in the Senate” (which is such a good reason to give someone control over the State Department) and TEAMOFRIVALSTEAMOFRIVALSTEAMOFRIVALS.


Bypartizoa November 18, 2008 at 10:22 am

Good God, Matthews is such an dipshit. Looks like he’s heading back to working the niche market of Clinton bashers and crazy conspiracy theorists like he did when Bill was in office. “I noticed Hillary was drinking a glass of water. What’s she trying to say here? What sort of signal is she sending? What’s she up to? She could have had juice or even soda? Why didn’t she drink the juice? Why not the juice? That’s what people are asking and maybe there needs to be an investigation. She’s mixed up in some sort of plot here, that’s for sure.”

TGY November 18, 2008 at 10:26 am

Everyone needs a personal enema..er..enemy. Whatevs.

kapish November 18, 2008 at 10:29 am

Hillary Clinton knows squat about foreign policy. However, she is good in front of a tv camera.
Richardson would be much better dealing with foreign leaders, but is not so good in front of a camera.
Much as I like Barry, if I were either one of these politicians I would keep my present job.

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul November 18, 2008 at 10:37 am

[re=179490]Sonic Former Youth[/re]: Piss.

As Lyndon B. Johnson said about J. Edgar Hoover:

“It’s probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.”


bearbait November 18, 2008 at 10:43 am

I kept waiting for him to puke and fall over. He looked like he was seriously sagging there toward the end.

Panderfinder November 18, 2008 at 10:50 am

wazzup? crispy no longer allowed to bleat on teh fox network?

The Cold Sea November 18, 2008 at 11:14 am

It’s not really a verb, but an adjective, that’s missing, Hitch. It’s douchebag. As in Hitch is a douchebag. No puppy for Hitch.

districtsleeps November 18, 2008 at 11:16 am

Button up your shirt, sir.

4tehlulz November 18, 2008 at 11:16 am

Considering Hitchens’ track record over the past few years, I would put as much value in his opinion about government as I would Jack Daniels’ opinion about the effects of alcohol on liver health.

thefrontpage November 18, 2008 at 11:18 am


Jesse Ventura has overtaken Clinton as the leading candidate for Secretary of State.

Ted Nugent has emerged as the leading candidate for Defense Secretary. Nugent says he’ll keep “that Gates dude” on for “a while” as “an adviser,” “then I bring in Tommy Shaw and that Night Ranger guy as my main assistants.”

TGY November 18, 2008 at 11:23 am

Also, Bill will have to turn down all those rubles the Tsar of All the Putins is offering to pay off Hil’s campaign debt. It’ll nevah happen.

glamourdammerung November 18, 2008 at 11:35 am

I am so conflicted as I think Clinton would be a trainwreck in any cabinet position and I think Hitchens is just a trainwreck.

glamourdammerung November 18, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=179610]glamourdammerung[/re]: Though fortunately, I do not think I have that much of a chance of being called a “sexist pig” for disliking Clinton based on the words that came out of her mouth anymore.

DoctorCulturae November 18, 2008 at 11:37 am

If Hilz takes it she has to quit the Senate. If she does not toe the line she’s out (& Billz) with no office to fall back on.

The longer Hopeprez waits, the more time the vultures will have to pick at her and teh Billz. Methinks Hopeprez is meeting with everyone (McFail, etc.) to let them know he’s the new preznit and not them. This is the same behavior he did as organizer: meet the vanquished, i.e. “meet Master Coolness” and thus be cooled.

Min November 18, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Me and Hitch…we are as one. On Hillary as SecStat, anyway.

If Barry is as smart as he looks, he’ll keep the Clintons way the hell out of his cabinet.

Maus November 18, 2008 at 12:09 pm

[re=179495]Serolf Divad[/re]: Perhaps more her campaign advisors’ idea than hers, but Hitchens is correct about the racially divisive tactics. The stormfronty PUMA crowd may have been groomed by the GOP, but it didn’t start from nothing, and it still exists while all the astroturfers are back in their caves.

S.Luggo November 18, 2008 at 12:18 pm

If Iraq War hawk, AIPAC pal Peter Beinart is for Hilz as SoS, then I’m agin’ her.

BTW Pete, get those teeth fixed. And stop speaking thru nose. You sound like a whiny teen.

RushLickBall November 18, 2008 at 12:18 pm

[re=179510]rmontcal[/re]: Thank you.

sanantonerose November 18, 2008 at 12:21 pm

I wish I could invite Christopher Hitchens to Thanksgiving. I’m sure he’d love my broccoli rice casserole! It’s got a whole tube of Mexican Velveeta. Mmmmmmm…melty.

A Geek Tragedy November 18, 2008 at 12:26 pm

Did he say that Hopey’s nickname is “NObama O’Drama”?

Tra November 18, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Why is this drunken idiot still treated as though he has anything useful to add to a conversation? Why?

slavojzizek November 18, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Can we get the opinion of someone who didn’t actually think the invasion of Iraq was a great idea?

MReyn November 18, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Some bourbon for you kool-aid, Chris? You have no room to complain. Like all the other whiny protest voters, you went for Barry O. Now you get what you deserve. Pathetic.


choolie November 18, 2008 at 1:07 pm

I’m still hung up on what verb is missing.

yellowdogdem November 18, 2008 at 2:08 pm

I am more frightened of Christopher Hitchens’ hair than anything Clinton could do.

thecrumandonly November 18, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=179775]choolie[/re]: I believe what Hitchens was getting at is that wouldn’t it be better to have Clinton shitting inside the house where Obama can clean it up quickly and privately as oppposed to Clinton shitting outside the house where the scooping will be more public. I’m certain Hitchens could have turned that phrase more cleverly.

lazynamepicker November 18, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Why does anyone give a rat’s ass what Christopher Hitchens thinks?

norbizness November 18, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=179908]lazynamepicker[/re]: Ask Matthews.. or better yet, ask why Matthews has a viewership that’s larger than his extended family.

angrymommy November 18, 2008 at 3:33 pm

the best is when he gave everyone the finger and said fuck you to the audience on bill maher. bloated idiot with and accent.

DustBowlBlues November 18, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Hitchens is a nitwit. He wins every argument by saying, “[The person or thing he doesn't like] has [bad things] relating to [whatever].

The person who is supposedly debating or countering this wheezing, nicotine-soaked boozer then says, “You have no way of knowing that.”

Creepy guy says, “Yes, I do know that. I KNOW and you don’t, peasant.” He never gives any support or reason for why he makes these claims other than, you know, he has a cool accent and the dumb colonist sounds pedestrian.

Any argument, any topic, anything can be inserted into the above and nail his debate style. He isn’t worth paying any attention unless you’re trying to imitate his accent, but Ricky Gervais would be more fun than icky Hitchens. He stinks so badly, I can practically smell him over the screen–ciggies and body sweat. Eeeeewwwwww.

Paul Tardy November 21, 2009 at 5:01 pm

Hitchen’s new rave: Kill them all and let the non existent God sort them out.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: