So these pictures leaked out over the weekend, or Friday, whatever, your editor was still on vacation, in the firestorm, and these pictures of Sarah Palin being a public slob have been all over your Internets. At least one of them, anyway, which apparently caused ejaculations of starbursts in a certain subset of the emotionally crippled boy-wingnut population, because Palin’s ass and XXL logo t-shirt are visible.
Here is a hint for the remaining National Review writers and other such bloggers: This is how Americans dress, all the time. This is how they go out. They go to the fucking grocery store like this, and they’ll go to Court like this. They, and she, are slobs.
There is this woman who could have become president, stuffing her face, poolside while she was supposed to be at the GOP governors conference saving the Republicans or whatever. She appears to be reading Star or US Weekly, “all of them,” etc.
Piled up on the table next to her is a snowbilly cornucopia of snacks and room service plates and jugs of diet soda. In another picture taken during this rapid sequence, she is chugging down a flute of champagne, in the daytime, because why not, right? Somebody else paid for it! In another, she’s sucking on a Diet Coke.
What is she even drinking here, some kind of frozen cocktail with a strawberry stuck on the glass? How much food and drink did Palin consume in the few minutes covered by these photographs?
Did anyone tell her when you go poolside at the fancy hotel in Florida how you might want to not dress like you’re cleaning the garage? There are swimsuits available, for example, and many women in their forties (who have class) have figured out a way to wear them, usually with some sort of cover-up, a sarong or a sundress or something. But what would Palin know of that, right? She is a vulgarian, a cretin, and of course with nobody to pay for her costumes, there’s no reason to stop at the resort-wear shop that was surely in this actual hotel, probably about twenty yards away.
So here is Sarah Palin, the slob, flashing her ass at the people forced to share the nice poolside resort with this swine.
Where is Trig, anyway? Not really needed so much these days. “Fuck lotta good YOU did,” Palin was heard shouting at the poor child, who was stuck under a lounge chair on the other side of the pool, covered in potato chip bags.
(Update: As always, we ignore the commenters who are so offended that Wonkette would, like, insult politicians. And we will get around to banning them, as usual. But a couple of unimpeachable sources told your editor that while Palin may have a large waist and quite probably a flabby gut under that jumbo t-shirt, she does not have fat thighs. In fact, she has chicken legs which make her fairly normal thighs just look wide. We regret writing this Update.)