So these pictures leaked out over the weekend, or Friday, whatever, your editor was still on vacation, in the firestorm, and these pictures of Sarah Palin being a public slob have been all over your Internets. At least one of them, anyway, which apparently caused ejaculations of starbursts in a certain subset of the emotionally crippled boy-wingnut population, because Palin’s ass and XXL logo t-shirt are visible.

Here is a hint for the remaining National Review writers and other such bloggers: This is how Americans dress, all the time. This is how they go out. They go to the fucking grocery store like this, and they’ll go to Court like this. They, and she, are slobs.

There is this woman who could have become president, stuffing her face, poolside while she was supposed to be at the GOP governors conference saving the Republicans or whatever. She appears to be reading Star or US Weekly, “all of them,” etc.

Piled up on the table next to her is a snowbilly cornucopia of snacks and room service plates and jugs of diet soda. In another picture taken during this rapid sequence, she is chugging down a flute of champagne, in the daytime, because why not, right? Somebody else paid for it! In another, she’s sucking on a Diet Coke.

What is she even drinking here, some kind of frozen cocktail with a strawberry stuck on the glass? How much food and drink did Palin consume in the few minutes covered by these photographs?

Did anyone tell her when you go poolside at the fancy hotel in Florida how you might want to not dress like you’re cleaning the garage? There are swimsuits available, for example, and many women in their forties (who have class) have figured out a way to wear them, usually with some sort of cover-up, a sarong or a sundress or something. But what would Palin know of that, right? She is a vulgarian, a cretin, and of course with nobody to pay for her costumes, there’s no reason to stop at the resort-wear shop that was surely in this actual hotel, probably about twenty yards away.

So here is Sarah Palin, the slob, flashing her ass at the people forced to share the nice poolside resort with this swine.

Where is Trig, anyway? Not really needed so much these days. “Fuck lotta good YOU did,” Palin was heard shouting at the poor child, who was stuck under a lounge chair on the other side of the pool, covered in potato chip bags.

(Update: As always, we ignore the commenters who are so offended that Wonkette would, like, insult politicians. And we will get around to banning them, as usual. But a couple of unimpeachable sources told your editor that while Palin may have a large waist and quite probably a flabby gut under that jumbo t-shirt, she does not have fat thighs. In fact, she has chicken legs which make her fairly normal thighs just look wide. We regret writing this Update.)

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  • loganmo

    Is that the repubs sad attempt to make the gays go straight? I think the reverse is more likely…from GILF to GTMMVIMM (Governor that makes me vomit in my mouth).

  • NewSpence

    Naw, she’s not a diva. Not at all.

  • bago

    How is shortshortshorts going to deal with the stain?

  • blinky_twinkie

    While I give Wonkette SERIOUS shoppie-props for linking to Nordstrom (a.k.a., The Mother Ship), the photo of Palin flashing a Britney of her lady bits (and it looks like she’s wearing a minipad with “WINGS!!”) is just too much to take at this hour on a Monday…

  • CrunchyKnee

    The future is very bright for the republican party!

  • Hound

    This is the first time I’ve ever wanted to fuck someone who was crying.

  • TommySez

    Hey! At least she’s reading! Or looking at the pictures.

    Who’s the one of the left with the rack?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I’m getting her confused with Britney Spears.

  • ManchuCandidate

    At least I don’t have to see Loser Camel Toe.

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    Meh. Needs more frogurt.

  • regisgoat

    I see London, I see France. And what’s more I know where they are, unlike the subject of this photo.

  • Borat

    Where’s wee Piper with her LV handbag and big gulp? Or is she banished to Alaska now?

    In all seriousness if Snowbilly gets a $7m book deal, she can finally afford that wardrobe that’s mysteriously been sitting in the belly of the aircraft

  • Dr. Spaceman

    they’ll go to Court like this

    Sadly, this is true.

  • wheelie

    Oh cmon, she’s out of the race and spiralling toward oblivion as it is. She doesn’t have to look good any more. Also, she is saving on tanning bed bills.

  • StripesAndPlaids

    I don’t like Palin. I think she is intellectually dishonest. I think she is uneducated and in 4 years she will be older and not nearly as physically interesting as she is now. I think she is a hack. I think she is a hillbilly. I don’t like her. But these pictures are not the reasons not to dislike her. If she is guilty of anything in these it is not knowing she is a target of the paparazzi. That is a pretty good reason to mock her. But let’s mock her for being a dim witted doofus. In these she is just sitting by the pool. At least she had the good sense to wear a tshirt.

  • InKnockYouUs

    Well, like most of the American public I am now an expert on all things Sarah Palin, and I can say, with certainty, that that woman is not Sarah Palin–not that I care.

  • loudmouthredhead

    Maybe the liquor consumption mirrors what she did during the Trig pregnancy? ZOMG IS SHE PREGNANT AGAINS??!!!!11!

    Well, a combination of liquor AND excessive kegeling on a plane may have led to Trig, that’s all I’m sayin’…

    Hmm, but the food suggests she may be saving up for winter, in which she hibernates in the 24-hour darkness?

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Now, Ken, you know four fingers are pointing back at you, with your jelly-stained t-shirt and Nate Silver eyes and flip-flops under the desk….we be wishing we were in Miami at teh Goverators little shindig, sitting at the hotel pool and drinking whatever they be bringing us, whatever….

  • Curmudgeon

    Did I misread this “emotionally crippled boy-wingnut” or are you referring to Charles Krauthammer?

  • Sub_Standard

    Sex tape “leaked” out in 3…2…1…

  • Thumbcuff

    Since when was Wonkette The Fashion Police? I’m with StripesAndPlaids. She’s done worse. This is very Joe Sixpack of her. And she was probably dressed for the Rapture, which the Christian weather forecast has been promising is imminent. Now, when do we get to see some pics of Ken by the pool?

  • Snozberries

    Awesomeness. First boner I’ve had in years… is now gone. Super, thanks. Now, back to my salvia.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    Does the proud Hockey Mom crusader for having babies and traditional barefoot and pregnant values ever do any, you know, actual mothering? I thought I once heard an obscure rumor on the internets that she has a special needs child. Doesn’t she ever give it’s special needs special care?

    Is Todd completely an utterly pussy-whipped stay at home dad, or is this woman a mother in the sense that Britney is also technically considered a mother? What is the deal, people?!? Inquiring minds want to know.

  • RabidHamster

    Lady Sarah puts the merkin in American.

  • psychedelicSludge

    RRRR! She can have MY non-existent republican vote!

  • loudmouthredhead

    Is she getting all cougar-y with a young lad by the pool?
    Run, son! Run as fast as you can!

    Oh great, now the Us Weekly, People, Star, etc. crowd have a politician to represent them. WONDERFUL.
    I say that if you choose to subscribe to one of said rags, you forfeit your right to vote. We have enough dumb f***ers voting in this country, thank you very much.

  • loudmouthredhead

    [re=179197]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Britney/Palin 2012!

  • psychedelicSludge

    She doesn’t have time to be a VP or a mother or intelligent or anything like that. She’s way to busy calling to me. Yes, my darling, yes, I hear you.

  • populucious

    People! These were the only clothes she had left after the RNC came and seized her closet, dontchaknow?

  • HuskyMescan

    It’s Sarah alright , that’s a Michael Kors purse ($1899) from Nieman and strawberry margarita .

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179184]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: “At least she had the good sense to wear a tshirt.” The hotel towel was in the dryer.

  • Mahousu

    So next week, she’s driving around with Trig on her lap, unbuckled, and the following week she shaves her head? Oh, wait, Todd’s got to flame out with some crappy album somewhere in the middle.

  • 2druk2phluq

    “For God’s sake, do something Scotty”

    “I’m giving it all we’ve got, Cap’n. Palin’s unwashed pussy has the ship in some sort of tractor beam.”

    “Then it’s too late for escape. Spock, fire the douche nozzles, full blast. Let’s see if we can’t get it cleaned up a little before we’re sucked in.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    I wonder if she says “Make a way, Jesus,” before she chugs another margarita.

  • PeteJayhawk v2.0

    [re=179177]Dr. Spaceman[/re]: “they go to Court like that”

    It is true indeed. I remember the first time I ever went to court – I was 16 and got a traffic ticket. My parents made me go to court so I could see what it was like (unfortunately, I’ve had plenty of opportunities since then).

    I was, and remain, appalled that people would show up to court wearing all manner of godawful slob outfits. Cutoff t-shirts, tank tops, filthy sweatsuits, beer-logo clothing, you name it. I understand that the truly poor probably don’t have a lot of nice clothes in the closet, but if you’re going in front of a judge to plead your case/ask for leniency/whatever, why would you not do your best to be as presentable as possible? Hell, even if all your white trash ass owns is jeans and t-shirts, why wouldn’t you at least shower and tuck the fucking t-shirt in?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Her 2012 campaign has begun in earnest. Its like a town hall meeting with no speaking parts.

  • Violenza

    A sampling of comments as delicious as Sarah’s Frito Lay platter:

    Damn that putang has some nasty rancid snatch. No wonder the heifer be so nasty. Wash dat thing out woman, you stank. She ugly

    are they panties there anyway still bang her hard

    one old women in such clothes. i´ve to throw p.

  • loudmouthredhead

    Was her shirt “starburst”-stained? Ewwww.

    [re=179193]Sub_Standard[/re]: I think you made me lose any appetite I might have for the remainder of the week. Thank you. That’s a diet plan I can believe in!

  • wheelie

    I don’t think her thighs are fat in those pix. She’s quite slim for a child-bearing momma. If anything, she’s too figure-conscious . . . . Yes, that’s it . . . Look at that awful slim-wad Sarah Palin! Is she governor of Alaska or Anorexia?? Doncha hate her? Etc.

    [re=179184]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: I agree with that thing you typed.

  • Speed Ball

    Sarah Palin is basically just Roseanne Barr after a gastric-bypass. There is absolutely no difference.

  • Monkey

    Golly, Ken. Somebody has an angry today.

  • Maus

    [re=179176]Borat[/re]: She tripped and fell in her hooker heels and was flown at bulk rate to an Alaskan hospital.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=179164]bago[/re]: It’s sad to know that there is another pair of shorts our there wrapping the ever-larger ass that is Sarah Palin.

  • The Unfairman

    Okay, so this woman offends me as much as the next reasonable person, and far be it from me to judge but…wow, Ken. Kinda harsh, don’t you think? I agree that she’s a nincompoop, but as you said “this is how all Americans dress”…cut her a bit of slack, maybe?

    I mean, I know I always look great in a suit, but some aren’t as fortunate.

    Am I banned now?

  • tacdab

    Ugly for ugliness’ sake is so… ugly. I’m talking about the post, not the ex-candidate. Look, she said stupid things. She appealed to the worst in people. And she lost. Bigtime. She made an ass of herself in th eyes of every thinking person. For me, that’s plenty enough. This ranty, venomous, bile-filled post? Just ugly. Can’t we leave that to the Righties?

  • loudmouthredhead
  • OffTheRecord

    Every time I start to feel sorry for her, even just a little bit, I think about the speech she gave at the Republican National Convention. Then my vile hatred is restored. And that is the way I like it.

  • SulkyGirl

    Popes never eat in public–now we know why.

  • loudmouthredhead

    [re=179226]tacdab[/re]: & [re=179225]The Unfairman[/re]: I say let’s all just laugh/cry in relief that she can’t hurt us for AT LEAST the next years, right?

    In a sense, forgetting her is the most fitting fate for someone who deserves so little respect or attention on the national stage, right?

  • bago

    has anyone done the LEAVE SARAH ALOOONE! post yet?

  • loudmouthredhead

    [re=179235]bago[/re]: I don’t think anyone on this site is quite THAT gay or sympathetic to our intrepid moose-cooker.

  • loudmouthredhead

    Alt text: nom nom nom, oh hai, Mr. pool-boi!

  • ladymacbeth

    those are not fat thighs people. i know, it’s november and all, but please. think of july and WHAT YOU SAW THOSE DAYS IN MOST OF AMERICA.

    also, she was chosen b/c she was hot. she was adored b/c she was hot. the republicans took their cheapest / most desperate shot b/c she was hot.

    never forget.

  • azw88

    Pic #14 was her prepping for the Pr0n movie: “Oh, drink EVERY drop you sexy Bitch! Get every last drop!”

    She couldn’t have been surfing the net on that computer, ’cause there were no tubes connected. Sen Stevens tells us that the internet is a series of tubes, and we know he wouldn’t lie, since no politician from Alaska would ever lie!

    and lay off the criticism of her fashion, I mean the RNC too back all of those nice clothes, now all she has left is her trailer-park trash wear.

  • tsunami

    some women, when i first start to see them, i think are [physically] just
    OK…but the ones who turn out to be smart and funny and nice, seem to get
    prettier as time goes by.

    palin is the opposite. at first, i thought she was a real MILF, but after
    hearing a few speeches, her attractiveness began to fade.

    [i’d still do her, though…i’d just hate myself the next day.]

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179226]tacdab[/re]: I don’t think she’s fat. I do, however, think she is a horrible person who represents a hateful worldview. Reminding the world of how awful she is and ridiculing every aspect of her until she slithers away seems reasonable to me. She has demonstrated that she has no shame, no decency, no level to which she will not stoop. She has surrendered the right to be treated with the respect. She may have made an ass of herself in front of every thinking person, but she is still adored by a large consituency of the rest of America (which looks to be about 46.2% of the population, judging by the popular vote) and will continue to be a beacon of bigotry and fearmongering for quite some time. Given what she stands for, I think mocking her at every opportunity is quite reasonable. Oh, and TRUCKNUTZ for all. Also.

  • bearbait

    I think this is disgusting and exploitative. How dare you use these photos and not put some kind of zoom feature on the page? Why did I buy an HD monitor if this crap is all your going to post?

  • TeddyS

    Hallamalujah! Nothing spells dignity like tabloid news and chips washed down with margs, diet soda and champagne. And this sunshine, what’s with that, huh? A heartbeat away from the presidency? Stay safe, Sarah, we want you to lead the GOP from its self-imposed wilderness.

  • El Topo

    We all knew we’d eventually see her sucking the peanutty center out of a turd, but this pic takes that notion to a ridiculously literal level.

  • guangho

    No alt tag has ever been so succint or so true.

  • guangho

    Now StripesandPlaids YOU know that god don’t like ugly. Dumb is one thing but dumb and ugly?
    No more national prominence for you!

  • sati demise

    But she STILL has the blush painted cheekbones.
    Priorities people!

  • Lazy Media


  • otisfatboy

    [re=179247]RabidHamster[/re]: She looks fine, if I were at the pool I would be angling for the pantie/labia shot. WHERE ARE THE PRECIOUS CHILDREN, WHO IS TAKING CARE OF TRIG WHO HARDLY KNOWS HIS MOM, IS IT HER OR THE OTHER ONE???

  • stew

    Is that a money shot? I mean, you know…

  • sati demise

    [re=179247]RabidHamster[/re]: Yea, she does get the white supremacist vote out, and the skinhead vote, the KKK vote, the Timothy McVeigh worshipers. She has her own little group of followers who will never give her up.

  • Origami

    “Fat thighs”? I know you aren’t a lady, Ken, so you might not understand what happens to our lady bodies after we pop out 5 white trash children, but that woman’s legs are killer.

    But I agree that she could have got a classier cover up. They sell those sarong/tunic crap at Wal-Mart, for Pete’s sake. And that tan flesh-colored blush is still stained on her cheeks. UGH, gross.

  • guangho

    I just discovered an entire tag worth of stories titled “white trash” and almost all feature Ms. Palin. If she has contributed this much to the annals of Wonkette, just think of what she could have done for the economy! Palin-Huckabee 2012 can’t come soon enough!

  • stew

    The curtains match the drapes. Just sayin’.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179247]RabidHamster[/re]: “but she is still adored by a large consituency of the rest of America” . . . damn, that’s an awkward sentence fragment. I’ve got to quit posting while drunk. Let’s all pretend I ended that fucker at constituency, okay? Thanks.

  • iolanthe

    Oh, her ass isn’t fat. And her thighs aren’t fat.

    She has a very nice body for her age (from another old broad who has a nice body for her age.)

    But the pose is horrid, and the getup is worse. Yeah, I dress like that sometimes … when I’m washing the windows or slopping the hawgs.

    But Holy Christ.
    This woman *needs* a personal stylist.

  • guangho

    iolanthe it’s the inside that counts.
    And Sarah ain’t got much going there either.

  • iolanthe

    [re=179246]tsunami[/re]: I agree. I still insist that she is physically very pretty — even when slobbified (in fact, I kind of *like* the fact that she’s willing to just hang out by the pool in a crappy too-big t-shirt) — but she is the type who becomes *less* attractive when you actually listen to them.

  • pourmecoffee

    Makes you want to become a member of the “Sam’s Club Club” with her.

  • Vladimir Putin’s Infinite Playlist

    This is just like the time that I found a December ’84 Hustler with the Geraldine Ferraro upskirt pics, under a dumpster behind a Wegmans.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179274]guangho[/re]: She may be evil on the inside and overly-casual on the outside, but at least it’s no longer summer, so she no longer smells like salmon . . .

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=179264]sati demise[/re]:
    Like the Paultards?

  • Cylon Model 6


  • iolanthe

    [re=179274]guangho[/re]: It *is* the inside that counts.

    And, yes, IMO, she’s a dumb fascist racist rightwing hillbilly bitch, suitable mostly for starring in my secret lezbo humiliation fantasies. And, without a giant budget and a stylist, she has awful taste in clothes … like so many of us.

    But she’s still a pretty mediagenic woman. A dumb-as-a-post pretty mediagenic woman. An Inner Fascist pretty mediagenic woman.

    But don’t misunderestimate Teh Pretteh … it’s what America craves!!! They’ve been conditioned to it by hours of watching pretty butt-stupid anchorpeople on their TeeVees.

    And even if she’s Satan Incarnate or the Whore of Babylon, those are still *not* fat thighs, Ken.

  • bigfakesmile

    i’m gonna go with… nope, those are not fat thighs. but i don’t care! ridicule her however you like! she’s a horrible person. she wants rape victims to have little rape babies with their fathers and shit! that’s fucking gross.

  • iolanthe

    [re=179280]Cylon Model 6[/re]: She is very human. I find this pic of her pigging out at the pool while dressed like an extra in “Idiocracy” (no Crocs?) strangely endearing, actually.

    But she’s still stupid, and her politics suck.

  • stew

    Flashing minge may finally secure the meth lab demo–they go for the pre-Lady Norelco look.

  • loquaciousmusic

    Are you sure that’s Sarah Palin, not Frannie McDormand rehearsing to play Sarah Palin in the next Coen Bros. movie?

  • Constitutional Riots

    [re=179218]Speed Ball[/re]: Oh YES!! I’ve been saying, since she first plowed through the teevee, that she looks like a prettier, slimmer Rosanne Barr and sounds just like her! I will keep that image in my head always.

    [re=179200]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Remember that she reads “everything”, so let’s be fair. For that hour, she just had to get in the right mood to read “Star” and “US Weekly”. At least she dressed for the occasion.

    When I first read that she would be in Miami for the big GOP Festivities for Governors, my next logical conclusion was…BIKINI time! After hours giving chats and doin’ some fancy pageant walkin’, it seemed only fitting that this sun-deprived Alaskan, would plan to absorb as much of the big fire ball in the sky as possible. So, naturally I was disappointed by this lame attempt to poke her with a limp limb. Her thighs are not fat, especially compared to the vast bell curve of American women. So, get me Sarah in a bikini, and then we’ll have something.

  • iolanthe

    [re=179284]bigfakesmile[/re]: “she wants rape victims to have little rape babies with their fathers and shit”

    Yep. She’s mean. Evil. Stupid. She’s a Hillbilly Heather, Queen of the Wasilla High Homecoming Court. I’ve known thousands like her from my time in Evangelical circles (8 years in Focus on the Family … Charter Member … I got better.)

    Her soul is twisted and hideous. Her confidence is boundless, and utterly unfounded.

    But the thighs are *great*.
    Never let your partisanship interfere with your vision.

  • iolanthe

    And, for schadenfreude points:

    I notice (speaking as another Woman of a Certain Age whose figure has hung on long past its useful shelf life) that … no one escapes Turkey Neck. Not even the rich and politically well-placed and perfectly-thighed.

    Not me.
    Not Sarah.
    Check the pic.

    Turkey Neck a-comin’ … if she wants to make a serious run for Prez, that neck won’t make it to 2016. She’ll be doing well to look as good as Hillz looked this past year. (No, Hillary isn’t a famous beauty, but she’s hanging in there OK, apparently without surgery.)

  • Vladimir Putin’s Infinite Playlist

    [re=179288]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Extra, hell. That’s President Sarah Louise Heath Arctic Cat Palin.

  • iolanthe

    “And Funbags here is … uh … the President!”

  • Vanity Smurf


  • Pope Priapus


  • Pope Priapus


  • catsquatch

    [re=179226]tacdab[/re]: Dude are you sure you’re in the right blog? Ranty, venomous, bile-filled posts are basically all we got. And TRUCK NUTZ also.

  • getoffmylawn

    Carla Bruni she ain’t. Ken, is it true that the animatronic device which passes for Kim Il-Song has contacted you for the complete set of these pictures? I can’t take this anymore….please name her Miss Point Pleasant Beach next summer and let’s be done with it.

  • guangho

    iolanthe: Sarah may be a great many things (backstabber, liar, fascist, empty suit, baby factory, phony, am I missing anything?) but pretty she ain’t.
    Or maybe Tina Fey has raised my standards to an impossibly high level.

  • guangho

    RabidHamster: I used to LIKE salmon.

  • rocktonsammy

    Bumper sticker seen on Trig’s stroller/snow machine.

    “My retarded mom ran for vice president”

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179286]iolanthe[/re]: “strangely endearing”. Spontaneous.
    In the same way was the bubonic plague.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179184]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Agreed. Although I frequently struggle to figure out if Ken et al are being sarcastic or serious, I’m going to assume this one is serious, and frankly, pointless. She looks better than most women do at her age, and there’s really nothing slobby about relaxing by the pool. At least she’s not picking her nose the way I do when I drive home, assuming that no one can see me through my vaguely-tinted windows.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179306]guangho[/re]: I STILL like salmon. Although I may have to avoid them during the few months of the year that they smell like Sarah Palin. Eau d’Neocon: A heady mix of rape, gun oil and the blood of the innocent.

  • guangho

    I would just like to point out (as I binge post to avoid work) that I hate Sarah Palin as a person but may still jump her after a suitably arid period.

  • guangho

    RabidHamster: Is Palinitis contagious? Because frankly that’s one ailment I don’t want to get.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179328]guangho[/re]: I’m not sure. I suffer more from snowbillophobia.

  • pepe

    I believe that is a diet Dr Pepper and not a diet Coke. However, Palin still is the worst person in the world.

  • guangho

    RabidHamster: I used to like snow and snowmobiles. Now I can’t deal with anything (I.Q. or temperature) under 70. No Wasilla for me then.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179326]guangho[/re]: Jeezez. Raise yours standards. Self-denigration never works. The first “you betcha, also” that you would hear would tell you that.

  • BerkeleyFarm

    Her thighs look pretty good for a woman her age who’s had five children. (Indeed, my personal theory on why the med records didn’t get released is that she’s had cosmetic surgery.)

    On the other hand … the super-big legible t-shirt is fug, and yeah, it all just looks tacky Wasillabilly to me.

  • ladymacbeth

    i just want to know what madonna’s next move is.

  • guangho

    S.Luggo: I did say “suitably arid period.” My godfather once told me how he came back from a young lady and spat on himself from shame while on the metro. THAT sort of arid period.
    Or I can just pretend I’m having a Frances McDormand fantasy.

    Too bad I never have fantasies about Frances McDormand.

  • Panderfinder

    INNER fascist?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179310]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: “Although I frequently struggle to figure out if Ken et al are being sarcastic or serious …”
    Truth? Look up the terms “lampoon” and “satire” and, if you can’t find them, scurry back to Politico.
    I be cruel to be kind.

  • momus

    So that’s what a snowbilly filly looks like when the snowmobile suit comes off, the New York stylists have left, and the fancy clothes have been returned to Nieman Marxist..

  • jagorev

    This is Pulitzer material, Ken, but please don’t ever connect Sarah Palin and the phrase “cleaning the garage” ever again. Ask Josh Fruhlinger why.

  • sezme

    Good to see that your vacation relaxed you, Ken.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179346]S.Luggo[/re]: Do go fuck yourself and get back to me.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179336]ladymacbeth[/re]: Win.

  • Chris Jones

    So since she ran for VP, she’s not allowed to consume any beverages or food products while poolside? Shorts and a t-shirt are also out of bounds so says Wonkette. I’m betting you would have had equally crappy things to say had she worn a bathing suit — so she can’t really win.

  • Ken Layne

    I have been informed that while Palin seems to be wide-waisted and of hidden beer belly, her thighs only look big because of the angle and because her lower legs are “chicken-y.” We regret the error, etc.

    She is still dressed 100% like garbage, and is stuffing her face with everything anybody else paid for. Honestly, this is how she comported herself poolside at the GOP governors’ meeting?

  • Politicalchef

    Feminist rant in 3 . . .2 . . .1 . . .

    OK you barely sun tolerant blog writing cretin, I don’t care for Palin. Call her an idiot all you want, she is one. Yes, she’s not dressed well. But you call that fat?! What kind of sexist a-hole are you? Do you spend so much time wanking to online porn that you have no idea what actual women look like??? What, exactly, is your standard for the acceptable thigh size of a late-40’s woman with kids? Do your own pecs (if you have them) measure up to any basic standard of hot? Do you even have an ass, or is it so large it gets stuck in the chair in your dimly lit editorial office/spank closet? Or is it too much to ask you to stop being a dick?

    OK, I’m done now. In all other ways I enjoy your cruelty – but, see, Mike Huckabee’s kids *are* fat. Sarah Palin, idiot bimbette though she may be, is not.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179357]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: At last, able to take criticism.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179364]Ken Layne[/re]: There you go again. Using the word “comported”. Satire? Serious? My brain hurts. More than usual.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179367]S.Luggo[/re]: Dude, Politico? That was low.

  • RabidHamster

    [re=179363]Chris Jones[/re]: Have you been on this planet for the past few months? Running for VP is fine; calling your opponent a terrorist and appealing to the inner Klan in your base is not. This woman represents the worst America has to offer. So no, she really can’t win, unless she actually becomes self-aware and realizes that race-baiting and fear-mongering is NOT okay.

  • Ken Layne

    [re=179368]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hahahahahahah.

  • guangho

    Political Chef, I keep saying that Huckabee Palin would be a great quarter ton couple for the presidency with her just under 100 pounds and him once just over 400.

  • bonghitsforjesus

    fuck sarah palin. fuck her bigoted, kkk encouraging, retarded baby having and ignoring, anti-intellectual, mean spirited, illiterate, wanna be riche “soul” down to her expensive stolen shoes. more snark, more bile, more! more!

  • Constitutional Riots

    Sarah Pailing = Parasailing

  • Ken Layne

    [re=179351]jagorev[/re]: Oh jesus christ, that is not at all what I had in mind. Curse that Fruhlinger and his filthy appetite for filthy comics that only 85-year-old shut-ins would ever read, if not for his fetish.

    Okay I must stop this reading/responding to comments. I have a goddamned AOL column to finish. But I guess I sort of missed the rampant insanity of Wonkette comments — luckily, that has now ended. Goodbye Forever!

  • Constitutional Riots

    I meant to say: “Sarah Palin = Parasailin'”, but my fuckin’ pneumonia has left me a dimwitted dope. And the “Go Bills” are playing the Browns in Buffalo and I really really really love football. I must just say no to multitasking.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    Looks like we can put that tatooed lips rumour in its grave now. Too bad.

  • druranium

    [re=179373]Ken Layne[/re]: The funny part is that people are offended by this. She’s a snowbilly twit and WALNUTS! nearly saddled the nation with her disgusting blend of ignorance and incompetence. Bash away, Ken. If she had any self-respect or respect for her fellow citizens to begin with she wouldn’t have accepted the nomination…in my ever fucking humble opinion.
    Feminist ranter up above… this is what wonkette does. they make fun of people. equal opportunity taunting. are you new here or something?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179337]guangho[/re]: I once saw a photo of Libby Dole and spat on it. Even?
    Speaking Palin, our new Republican model of a Libby Dole, but without an 8th grade education?

    Dreams of Frances McDormand? So long as it about wasn’t her role in “Fargo”. Then sick. If as the coked-out character in “Lone Star”, then otay.

  • grevillea

    She looks mighty happy in the later pics where she’s shaking hands with the muscular ‘swinging voter'(?) Todd’s got competition!

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    I guess the Dukes Of Hazzard II audition she went on after the RGA speech went well….

  • napalmnacey

    I think those legs are all she has going for her.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179386]druranium[/re]: There is something different about attacking a woman’s physical appearance, using insults like “fat” and “slob” against her. Because women are constantly bombarded with proof that they aren’t good enough, thin enough, and pretty enough, attacks against their appearance are, I’d argue, particularly heinous.

    I’d be curious to know what SKS thinks about this topic. If she tells me to shove it up my fat ass, I will listen to her.

    ALL HAIL SKS!!!!11

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179369]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Honi soit qui mal y pense.

    [re=179382]Ken Layne[/re]: “I have a goddamned AOL column to finish.” Free association will do.
    “Now is the Palin of our discontent
    Made glorious summer by the NR cruise”

  • pepe


    so I suppose you never laughed at a john mccain is old joke, or heaven forbid a barry obama will ride in a presidential limo with rims joke? come on!

  • uglysister

    now that she has that 7 mill book deal she will finally be able to sparke once again. it will be just like when ju;ia roberts got to shop in “pretty woman” oh and ’cause she’s a WHORE

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=179400]pepe[/re]: Actually, I never did laugh at a “John McCain is old” joke, although I may have called him “grandpa”. Not because of principle, but because old jokes are generally not funny. Depends hahahahaha not funny.

    BUT. I would argue that THIS is different, but then I’d be forced to quote Naomi Wolf, and y’all would freak the fuck out. Anyhoo, the attack on Palin is unfair because it is untrue and I am _THIS CLOSE_ to leaving Wonkette for good. Not because of Ken’s odd rant, but because so many of you seem to think that attacking a perfectly attractive woman as fat or slobby is totally warranted because she’s stupid. But then the vast majority of you here are men, and you have no fucking clue what it is like to be dismissed as ugly or fat when you are, in fact, a normal human with a vagina.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    People are missing the point. This isn’t about Palin’s body dimensions, it’s about how she behaves and who she is at her core. NoBama may not have meant it during the campaign, but the old saying says it best – “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” That sums up Palin to a T.

    She is a vulgarian, a cretin, and a slob. She has no class on any level. She believes in nothing beyond her own self-aggradizement. She’ll use anybody in pursuit of whatever she wants. She’s not ashamed of her vast ignorance (hell, she almost delights in it). She lies constantly. She rips off whoever she’s around – the Alaskan taxpayers, the GOP, the McCain people. And yes, apparently she eats and dresses like a slob even though she’s the governor of a state.

    Palin is white trash through and through. Doesn’t matter if you’re a gas station attendant or a governor, if the profile fits it applies.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=179405]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Today we are all normal human beings with vaginas.

  • bago

    Well, the fact that “woman with a vagina” seemed to be her only qualification, mocking it seems to be fair game.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=179392]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Please don’t tell me that Palin did not depend upon her [runnerup beauty queen] looks to get ahead in politics. If in even part she did that, rather than rely on her education or ability to articulate, then fair game.
    Any male who depends upon the same superficiality to get ahead in politics deserves similar derision. Guess why Huckabee lost the weight, why chisel-chin Mittney remains in the running, etc.
    Of course, one might take such auperficiality to an intellectual level. George Bush.

  • bago

    When the editor of the allegedly “intellectual” conservative journal of note describes how she gave him wood and starbursts… Mockery all around!

  • FreshCliches

    [re=179405]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: YOU HAVE BEEN SHIT ON BY PENISES.


  • AnnieGetYourFun

    OK. Have fun. Outtie.

  • druranium

    [re=179392]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I’m a woman too just like SKS!!! Don’t you care what I think? Sarah Palin is not a woman who I respect. I wouldn’t be offended if the editors called her a 2-bit tranny ho-bag who has fat thighs and is ugly and stupid. Mostly because I am so tired of hearing how hot she and Bachmann are and how everyone wants to do them as long as they don’t talk. Were you here standing up for your fellow women when they were being objectified as sex meat… Or is it just fat comments that tick you off?

  • Weeping Jesus

    My sister actually looks hotter now after having five kids (in less than 10 years…disgusting, I know) than she did when she was in college. Using my sister as a standard, I’d say Palin is doing okay.

    I thought I had a point to make….


  • bago


  • S.Luggo

    [re=179418]FreshCliches[/re]: Neither clever nor funny.
    The correct plural of penis is penae.

  • bago


  • Mahatma Froglegs

    All this squabbling has made me hungry. Speaking of room service plates, I think having a “sandwich” with Sarah and the (as yet unidentified) redhead would be just the ticket…

  • shortsshortsshorts

    As this post has created 13,000 views, I just wanted to say there are 13,000 retards in the world that are literally pining for the girth of some infofercial sports segment to bring them to a contractual fortitude of particular men.


  • pepe

    Ken I have seen you’ve updated to correct the fat thighs but not the diet Coke — that is diet Dr Pepper so help me Todd!

  • pepe

    [re=179433]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Henghhh?

  • FreshCliches

    [re=179428]S.Luggo[/re]: Actually, “penes”. Eat a bag of ’em.

  • pepe

    Can’t believe it was GBCW for Annie!

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=179197]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: If she doesn’t start getting pro-active against the child neglect charges, she’s going to end up on the cover of that rag she’s reading poolside (the one she had the brains to not mention to Katie) and the headline is going to be something on the order of “Zamboni-the-miracle-child’s baby daddy is the whole snow machine team. Yes, it’s possible, says Alaska doc!!”

  • Politicalchef

    [re=179386]druranium[/re]: Reader since the OG Wonkette, AMC. [thumbs up][*wink*]

    Fat thighs is simply below the level of wit and insult I expect. Snowbilly – nice word usage! Fat thighs, oh c’mon, that’s neither true (less important) or witty (more important).

    Update makes me wonder if I will be banned! I am apparently the most offended. Hmmmmm . . .

  • hobospacejungle

    Ignore the critics, Ken! Keep callin’ ’em like you see ’em. This is why I keep coming back. If I want nice I’ll go elsewhere. And I do not want nice.

  • persiflage

    There’s no humor department. This is a feminist bookstore.

  • trai_dep

    No matter what the Late Night Shots boys say as they’re caught with stains running down the front of their pants when leaving their work computers, it’s not ranch dressing.

  • TGY

    Wait, what the fuck is she doing outside of Alaska? Doesn’t she have some goobering to do or whatever it is governors do? PALIN GO HOME!

  • Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul

    I would vote for her. That is, if the election was not over and if I was a US citizen, not a European socialist. And the thighs are definitely her best part.

    Why should her cover those attractive figures? Are you Wonkette people some sort of talebans?

  • schvitzatura

    [re=179366]Politicalchef[/re]: Please transfers all women’s studies concern-troll memes over to Jezebel.

    Thank you for your cooperation, in advance.

  • Aurora Erratic

    She looks fine — no better or worse than anyone else hanging out by the pool. She’s a ninny, of course — that hasn’t changed — but give it a rest with the body judgement. Also. let’s help her just GO AWAY by ignoring her.

  • regisgoat

    I personally find the emphasis around here on TruckNutz an offense to my testicles. Which is strange, because otherwise I am totally in favor of the lowest lowballs… I have been a fervent partisan of lowballismo ever since Michael O’
    Donoghue was alive. By all means call the shapely Palin fat–it’s the only insult she’ll understand, and thus has more force that the more strictly accurate word “stupid.” And who’s minding Simple Trig, anyway?

  • swimmy

    I kind of like her better now. Pass the frozen girly drinks.

  • Servo

    Excluding the numerous goat hairs, her body is just fine. That “nails to the chalkboard” voice however….

  • Anita Cocktail

    Wow, the election’s over for what? ten days? and the Wonketeers are already turning on each other.
    Focus, people, focus!! Sarah Palin shouldn’t be a divisive force; she should be a rallying point for our contempt!

    I hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight.

  • Borat

    Didn’t Snowbilly say in her defense regarding her clothes that she never took anything from the campaign besides Diet Dr. Pepper. I was never turned on by her so can’t really snap about her appearance, but if there’s one thing I know its Dr. Pepper, and baby, that’s no Diet Dr. Pepper.

  • ForTheTurnstiles


    The feminist critique is actually the harder one to make. If you want to go Cultural Studies on this particular thread, the low hanging fruit is class. What makes her slobby, gross, unacceptable? She dresses and carries herself like a working-class grunt. “human garbage.” White trash.

    That’s how the GOP works anyway. You know some Republican op took those photos and leaked them in order to document that she’s one of them, not one of us. (“them” being the slobby, gross rednecks who vote for the GOP year in, year out.) Would it change a thing if she’d bought a sarong at Nordstrom like a “normal” person? Visually, yeah. She’d look appropriately GOP, she’d have the bourgeois brand down.

    Bottom line, this is a stunt to get Sarah Palin out of the GOP limelight, and we’re playing along, and for once I’m fine with it if it gets us rid of Sarah Palin.

  • Die Gelbe Gefahr

    That’s not Sarah Palin. Seriously, check out the nose. The nose is not the same.

  • SedatedGodzilla

    This post isn’t that funny. She’s already a national joke, she doesn’t need that much help.

  • SuperRounder

    [re=179166]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I just threw up on myself.

  • finallyhappy

    So why couldn’t she remember the Star when she was asked what she read?

  • honore de ballsack

    [re=179405]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Nooooo! Please don’t leave us! Well, okay, leave if you want, but realize that while the post attacks her for being fat, ignorant and vile, some of us here have been attacking her for the ignorant and vile part.

  • monty

    al you haters need to stfu or gtfo, if youre offended by peopel getting made fun of no matter how untrue this is not the place for you i think sarah palin is a pig not that shes fat or dirty or anything like that but her only redeeming quality is that in a pinch you could cook her and eat her. ken good post, nest time find the nudes, or at least one of her hooking a positively huge booger outt’n her nose. toodles

  • Weeping Jesus

    [re=179471]Die Gelbe Gefahr[/re]: You’re right. It’s not Palin. Virtually no one but you has questioned the authenticity of the pictures. It’s just some chick that looks a bit like her. Take a look at pic 3 on the celebbuzz site and you can see it’s not her. Someone has gotten off a great hoax.

  • PerhapsSo

    They go to court in far worse things than that. Hell, I have seen lawyers in sneakers, fishnet tights, and backpacks.

  • IslandGirlFL

    OK lookit. She’s attractive, especially for her age. I would just like to point out that these pics were taken on a Thursday. So she was scarfing both plebian(chips and soda) and patrician (champagne and evian water!) snacks by the pool when she was supposed to working for the folks of Alaska, in an “unreal” part of America, Miami Beach. ALASKA WHERE’S YOUR MOOSE KILLER NOW??? HMMM??!!!

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    Who cares if it’s her or not?

    Anyway do you think she made out with Greta Van Susteren? Who is a Scientologist?

  • TGY

    [re=179471]Die Gelbe Gefahr[/re]: You are right. Doesn’t appear to be Sarah Palin. “The end.”

  • Gingah

    “Maaaaaaawwwwwwwww! They’s a cow out by th’ ce-ment pond!”

  • bhosp

    [re=179169]Hound[/re]: The *first* time? One of us is doing something wrong…

  • longjohnson

    [re=179310]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: you need to get out more if you think she is good looking . . .

  • thefrontpage


    Jesse Ventura has overtaken Clinton as the leading candidate for Secretary of State.

    Ted Nugent has emerged as the leading candidate for Defense Secretary. Nugent says he’ll keep “that Gates dude” on for “a while” as “an adviser,” “then I bring in Tommy Shaw and that Night Ranger guy as my main assistants.”

  • Sav

    What’s killing me in the black pebbled leather, xtra-large hobo bag. Well, it’s probably synthetic leather from Target. Nothing against shopping at Target, but honey, if you’re going to be poolside. In Florida. At the Mandarin. You might want to stop in at Target and take five minutes to find a SMALL, WHITE OR NEUTRAL COLOR, CUTE PURSE. If you’re smart, you can find enough to fake it even at Target. Whoopsie, you’re not smart. Never mind.

    Black pebbled leather poolside in Florida. You don’t have to be the fashion police to wince at that. Did she walk to the pool in Timberlands?

  • LBOtomist

    Who’s the dude (not “THE DUDE”) she is “pressing flesh with” in pics 6 and 7? Shotgun wedding and hoax pregnancy for the next oldest adolescent Palin in 5..4…3…

  • Min

    Hey, this is the first time I feel like I can really relate to her.

  • LBOtomist

    [re=179310]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Laugh snort on the nose picking. I rely more on the magic driver invisibility cloak then the tinted windows, but whatever works for you.

  • azw88

    Where’s the ‘camel toe’ pics???!!!

    I want to see sarah’s Camel Toe!

  • sezme

    [re=179424]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Your point was that you have a thing for your sister? Just trying to be helpful.

  • coldwater

    wont you please bring sarah back up to a top-of-page category? this is so much more exciting than the dissolution of the GOP

  • shortsshortsshorts

    HAHAHAA people are easily offended.
    Douche bags.
    The people who hate the “fat thighs” probably have the fattest thighs on the planet, ever. (besides Palin’s thighs, which are incredibly FAT. FAT FAT FAT THIGHS.

  • druranium

    [re=179768]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Politicalchef says thats not witty enough. especially when ken says it. From now on you must say “THUNDERTHIGHS”.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=179787]druranium[/re]: hahahaha “THUNDERTHIGHS” v. Mothrah. The battle at world’s end.

  • texette

    This is so Britney two years ago. WTH? Can’t Bible Spice keep up with US, OK or all of them?

  • 102415

    I have a difficult time believing that is our Sarah. Her hair is too short and thin and Sarah has huge thick ankles and massive calves. She is also writing something down on a regular computer not even texting like where’s the blackberries,hmmmm?

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=179768]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Spoken like one with a small dick. SMALL, SMALL, SMALL, TEENY, INFINITESIMAL dick.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=179906]Anita Cocktail[/re]: How right you are. How. Right. You. Are.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    I couldn’t help but notice how volatile this post is. IT IS CREATING DIVISION AMONG THE COMMONERS.

  • gidgetbananas

    Let me see if I understand this correctly: it’s okay to call Sarah Palin an ignorant, racist, fascist, white trash, snowbilly bad mother, but it’s not okay to call her fat? Boy, the weight-challenged must have some good PR people.

  • TedTheLightBulbSalesman

    [re=179422]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: As in “Audi 5000”?

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=179923]gidgetbananas[/re]: You are the reason why eating disorders run so rampant through our society. !!!

  • warreno

    [re=179175]regisgoat[/re]: Win.

  • Ken Layne

    34,000 page views, for this? Huzzah. You know who else is a piece of white trash who eats shit in the night? Tune in tomorrow.

  • Obamaniac23

    Wow. I don’t even like Sarah Palin. In fact, I quite loathe her. However, I expect more, even if it from my beloved “liberal media”. This ISN’T Sarah Palin-it doesn’t even remotely come close to looking like her. IF it was the real Sarah, I too would be mocking and making snide, snooty comments. Seriously, Wonkette?
    I expect/demand better of you…

  • honore de ballsack

    [re=180722]Obamaniac23[/re]: Are you one who would seek to destroy our opportunities for Palin-mocking, just because the picture may be wrong? Do you hate our freedoms that much? You sound like one who would pal around with terrorists, also. Facts-based thinking is so pre-9/11 (and fuck willing, post-1/20/09), you betcha! It could have been a picture of Dick Cheney in assless chaps, gold-plated nipple clamps and an 18″ strapon and it would still be Sarahbashing time. Until she retreats to Alaska and promises to never rear her head again, we must never forget, never surrender, never quit mocking. Speaking of Sarah Palin, does anyone else have the chorus of Fishbone’s UGLY running through their head every time they see her?

  • Brendan M.

    I can’t believe I missed this thread the first time around. That’s too bad(?). I have to side with the feminists on the unfairness of the “fat” epithet, though no amount of vitriol directed at Palin is too much, generally speaking.

    But 41,000 page views are as impressive as what a HuffPo nip-slip post gets and it is not even half as misogynist, so totally worth it!

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