Wonkette
Hey MIKE HUCKABEE, Mittens “Willard” Romney sees your new book’s disparaging excerpts directed at him and raises you a brisk retort through “Eric” the traveling spokesman! “This type of pettiness is beneath Mike Huckabee… If we’re going to move the party forward, we need to offer more than personal recriminations. Unfortunately, in this book, Mike Huckabee is consumed with presumed slights, and he seems more interested in settling scores than in bringing people together.” Tragically, the “Mitt Camp” is in the right here and will score some 2012 Points on this. A windfall for Mittens! Well howdy doo about that.
Mike Huckabee does not come across as very Presidential when he writes a snide, intemperate volume of whiny rants transparently disguised as a string of bad metaphors. Not folksy! Just bad. To repeat, Huckabee writes in his mean new book that fairest Mittens was “anything but conservative until he changed the light bulbs in his chandelier in time to run for president.” So light bulbs are his policy stances, and his chandelier is his platform, yes? And chandelier specifically because Mitt Romney is a very rich man, yes yes? Then it’s pretty clear that Mike Huckabee is insulting Trig here.
A SUFFERING CHILD.
Disgraceful.
Huck unloads on Mitt; Romney camp hits back [Jonathan Martin]
Can we put Mittens, the tundra tard, and Huckabee in a cage and let them fight it out?
Hey, can I qualify for a brisk retort from Mittens, too? Sounds easy and fun!…. Of course, it being Huckabee, this is more like Atari Pong….
When Mike and Mitt fight, ALL God’s children suffer…
It’s the thick, luxurious hair. It’s why he wasn’t chosen for the balding Walnut VP, and why Chuckles the Bald Spot hates him. Seriously.
I can’t wait ’til Huckabee starts stress eating again…
The two of them need to take a trip to Brokeback Mountain and hug it out like real men.
I hope the Romney/Huckabee feud continues to build until it finally gets settled… in a STEEL CAGE MATCH at WRESTLEMANIA! Make it be for the Intercontinental Championship why not.
Huck shouldn’t have lashed out so viciously with that chandelier dis … although I still don’t get it.
Mittens is like the rich kid everyone hates and nobody wants to play with, but he has a bunch of cool toys so they play with him and then make fun of him behind his back.
G’N R’s Civil War (a rock band that took 16 fucking years between albums)
Look at Huckabee talking
Look at Mittens crying
Look at Republicans flopping
The way they’ve done once before
Look at the hate they’re breeding
Look at the fear they’re reaping
Hear the laughter they’re creating
The way they’ve always done before
My sides are tired
As I belly laugh from side to side
And the fights go on with brainwashed pride
For the lust for God and full bragging rights
And all these things are brought outside
By stupid shits time can’t deny
And that crazy ass internal genocide
And history writes the tales of your civil wars
Editors: In that photo, Mittens looks like he’s taking a dump in his pants. What does that have to do with Handsome President Kennedy (the Hopey prototype), who, shown here, is obviously burdened by the affairs of Cuber or, more probably, the affairs of Jackie? Mittens taking a dump over something Huckabee said about his chandelier is DISTINCTLY possible, though, so for God’s sake, show a picture of a chandelier.
HOW DISRESPECTFUL of Barack Obama to allow intra-partisan bickering in a supposedly “post-partisan” world.
“…Mike Huckabee is consumed with presumed slights, and he seems more interested in settling scores than in bringing people together.” Bringing people together? Is Mitts endorsing Obama now? Jesus. The Republican party is truly fucked. Obama’s election is the gift that keeps on giving…
Want to see the ravages of alcoholism–tune into Hardball and take a look at Hitchypoo. Sweating, shaking, hair all messed up, shirt unbuttoned. Ick!
Vewol Mevemont: It will be called the 2012 GOP primary season, and it will be rated XXX for raw Pentecost-on-Mormon action. It will end with the sad remnants of the Republican party imploding in a ball of white light.
I suspect this quote isn’t really from his book, but from a game of Political Madlibs that Huck was playing. Like “before he changed the _________ (noun) in his ________ (noun).” See? That’s the only explanation. It could have just as easily have been “anything but conservative before he changed the troll in his weenie.” or the like.
This is Huckabee’s audition to fill the void left by the late great Mr. Blackwell
How come Republican’s can’t reject and denounce each other? It seems like that is only for Dems to do.
I’d actually like Huckleberry to write a banjo song denouncing Mormons for not worshipping the one true faith, which of course is Raelism or Rael or whatever those people that are even the Scientoligists reject. Ya know those cloning ones.
DeLand DeLakes: a white ball of light is too good for em. I say let it end in a blood-wracked, slimy ooze that slowly liquefies as it seeps out of sight to the mournful tunes of Nickelback.
Mustang: Okay, I’ll bite: —Huckabee— in his —-Magic Underpants—?
Go!
Mittens better hope those bulbs weren’t compact fluorescents, or he’ll have Michele Bachmann on his case, too.
Can any pettiness be beneath Huckabee or any of those other clowns? Does any of them come out as “Presidential”? They’re just the dregs of a moribund party that has taken on the personality of its inept, ridiculous leaders. Let’s talk about something else. Like Hula hoops.
Yes, he was anything but a conservative until he employed rams’ bladders to prevent earthquakes. If you know what I mean.
These guys are so cute. They think they’re Prometheus, when in fact they’re the crows.
Huckabee had better watch out or the Mormons will sponsor a proposition to outlaw sex between fat people in Arkansas … he’ll never get any again.
I can haz schedenfreudgasm?
Mitt-lander: I’ve never been able to … able to … “turn right”.
Hansel Huckabee: Are you challenging me to a sulk-off?
(and other quasi-zoolander-related hijinx)
Alt text: One of these things is not like the other.
Excuse me, but isn’t Hucklebee a REVEREND or PASTOR or somesuch man of God thingy? Should he be trashing other children of God & accusing them of having chandeliers? I mean whose chandeliers would Jesus mock?
hedgehog: No need to outlaw it, his erect penis can’t possibly reach beyond the bulge of his crotch fat anyway.
This is EXCELLENT news… for John McCain
SayItWithWookies: Wow! I salute, you, Agamemnon….!
This is Team Mittens all the way! He really unleashes in the latest issue of Vogue:
* On things Huckabee has said in the past: “There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how he couldn’t wait to get to Iowa every day? That was really uncool.”
* On whether or not he’s talked to John McCain: “A few very kind hellos . . . and congratulations on your black babies.”
* On her relationship with the GOP: “People need to mind their own business! Did you ever think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield made sense? Love just shows up.”
* On John McCain openly discussing dumping him: “Trust me, you’ll never see that happen again from that man.”
“…If we’re going to move the party forward, we need to offer more than personal recriminations….”
totes!
but, if personal recriminations are all you’ve got (and considering that it can’t be that the party and platform sucked), then fire at will.
looks to me like Will Farrel is a shoe-in for the Mitt Romney biopic.
SKS could take some metaphor torture lessons from this fat fuck.
Vewol Mevemont: Yes - that’s it - Palin’s new nickname: tardblossom. She and Rove can now commence coupling.
Wow, this is JUST like the last episode of “Gossip Girl”!
Mittens is Blair and Huckabee is Serena. McCain is that vaguely ethnic chick nobody likes because she’s a total maverick downer and plus, she wears ugly clothes.
But Mittens and Huckabee will eventually make up and bond over hot shoes at Barneys.
xoxo
Vewol Mevemont: We don’t have to, in 2012 they’ll do it for us.
JadedDIssonance:
even better, have these fuckers personally hand out each and every one of the reparations checks to the muslims…complete with handshake
And this is why the GOP being so much of a cult of personality makes for great lulz.
Hucklebee for Tonight Show host! Mittens for spikey sidekick! GlacierTard for Announcer Girl(Guys? and Gals?)! Also.
They secretly want to buttsecks each other, like when little boys hit little girls because they want to see their hoo-hahs.
The thing that bugs me the most about the side-by-side photo? Kennedy looks (in a pencil drawing) very deep in thought. Romney looks like he is mid-way through an impression of an “I Dream of Genie”-style spell-casting.
So if one of these guys had gotten the nomination, we could have had fun accusing the nominee of being anti-Baptist/anti-Mormon, and Obama could have given speeches about how essential it’d be for the loser to be the Veep nominee. Part of that is partisan muckery, part of it is our cultural fondness for buddy/romance movies where the two guys or male/female lead start out hating each other, have comic misadventures, then fall madly in manlove/romantic love.
A duel of wits between unarmed losers seems uninteresting.
Also, 2012 is a long, long way off.
Perhaps we should trace Flunkabee’s ancestry to see if there are any Fanchers or Bakers.
I’m sure that Romney’s LDSers would be more than glad to assist, seeing as they are the preeminent genealogists (more postmortem conversions…) in solving the bitter sniping between these two numb nuts.