CIVIL WAR  4:53 pm November 17, 2008

Slaves Vote Heavily In Obama’s Favor

by Jim Newell

Whoa, it’s the electoral map with… with freakin’ dots all over the damn place, just cold clusterin’ and aggregatin’ over the blue areas. It is this: “Strange Maps overlays cotton production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results.” Awkward! And as you can see, we’ve “overlaid” — with a retarded X — the approximate location of John McCain’s Mississippi plantation, which he refuses to visit for sexy parties every single year. [Strange Maps via Andrew Sullivan]

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HomoPolitico November 17, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Dude, you got slavery in my map porn! No way I’m jerking off to this, that’s just sick. Guess its back to those black market Nate Silver nude pictures for me.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2008 at 5:00 pm

Hi, black people — thanks for staying in the South. I have no idea why you did, but at a time like this it has its payoffs.

Ted Perino November 17, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Sigh. The little pimple I call home.

mbprice November 17, 2008 at 5:02 pm

What’s up with the South Tennessee former slaves? Stockholm syndrome?

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 17, 2008 at 5:02 pm

I told y’all that way earlier, around the time of the debate in Oxford. Walnuts knew full good and well that “his” nigras weren’t going to vote for his sorry ass ‘cuz they were afraid he’d repeal the 13th amendment in his first 100 days.

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 17, 2008 at 5:06 pm

[re=178934]mbprice[/re]: If you’re referring to Memphis, then yes. Absolutely.

Ted Perino November 17, 2008 at 5:09 pm

[re=178934]mbprice[/re]: [re=178943]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Chicago Syndrome.

american mutt November 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm


Numbat Dundee November 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Oh I wish I lived in the land of cotton
Old times there are ne’er forgotten…

answerbird November 17, 2008 at 5:16 pm

mbpric[re=178934]mbprice[/re]: Nah, they just know how to keep their nigras in line!

Rev. Juan MessyCan November 17, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Wait, they can vote now?

freeatlast November 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Looks like McCain received the “White Flight” vote…

Vewol Mevemont November 17, 2008 at 5:39 pm

Gross. I’m having white guilt now.

joezoo November 17, 2008 at 5:39 pm

This isn’t really as interesting as it looks. Urban areas tend to vote blue, and the most heavily populated areas in the 19th century South generally remain the most heavily populated areas today.

Min November 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm

[re=178934]mbprice[/re]: Easy answer. Those dots in middle southern Tennessee cover Lawrence and Giles County. Giles County is the home of Pulaski, TN, which gave America Nathan Bedford Forrest and the Ku Klux Klan.

superfecta November 17, 2008 at 6:08 pm

[re=178993]Min[/re]: I had a friend named Nate Forrest in high school. Half his family knew he was related to an ancestor who was famous for ‘some reason’ they couldn’t put their collective finger on, while the other half was rather unduly proud of said ancestor. Interesting.

Min November 17, 2008 at 6:19 pm

[re=179034]superfecta[/re]: Well, in all fairness, they could have been proud of NBF for his military successes, which were many, rather than for being the founder of the KKK.

TJBeck November 17, 2008 at 6:32 pm

here’s a non dotty map of slave population density in 1860

…and current black population density

…and regular population density (to completely disprove [re=178987]joezoo’s[/re] posthulation about population density being the reason and not race)

Borat November 17, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Doesn’t Walnuts know its racist to use a darker color to represent slaves. And to use dots – insigificant specks – sends a really inferior message. It’s this kind of inane bias that cost him the election.

I hope Barry made Walnuts kiss his pinky ring today.

Ted Perino November 17, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Jefferson County (Birmingham) may have been the only majority white county in Alabama to vote for Hopey. The swath of counties across the middle of the state are majority African American, rural, and poor. They are heavy with pine farms, owned by our capitalists masters in places like Philadelphia and Boston. John Hancock has 68,834 acres.

Our Dutch masters own around a million acres of Alabama and Canadians have about half a million. They pay little tax, so it’s those foreigners who are keeping us down.

I betcha the same is true for those Missippi Delta counties.

undermedicated November 17, 2008 at 7:20 pm

Why won’t they show us the map that overlays the sales of TRUCKNUTZ and those who voted against Hopey?


WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=178987]joezoo[/re]: Shhh. Your ruining the illusion of causality.

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 8:25 pm

“You’re” not “your”. Yes, I know, I know.

El Topo November 17, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=178934]mbprice[/re]: Nope. That county is so rural that it no longer has a name. The black people long ago moved into cities, where the racism comes in a much subtler flavor.

surfacenoise76 November 17, 2008 at 8:52 pm

The county in northeastern NC (Bertie)in which my family owned plantations is bright blue. :)

aleks November 17, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Could someone explain the origin of these internet traditions with which I’m unfamiliar?
1. trucknutz
2. Walnuts (I know we mean McCain, but not the origin).

Thank you.

Ted Perino November 17, 2008 at 9:56 pm

Sigh. You ask for an explanation of the stars that shine, the magic of the rainbow, why puppies are so darned cute.

1) Trucknutz was the theme that certain devious parties used to undermine the se-we-ous-ness of the Paultards, Librarians, and Young Republicans as they sought to plot a course for our future.

2) Now doesn’t a certain chubby-cheeked presidential candidate look he’s got a couple of squirrelly jaws filled with Walnutty treats?

aleks November 17, 2008 at 10:12 pm

[re=179315]Ted Perino[/re]:

1. Oh. I never would have figured that out.
2. I thought he looked like a squirrel too, but didn’t know people associated squirrels with walnuts. I guess ACORN was already in use.

Thank you.

josereyes.theroof November 18, 2008 at 12:51 am

Grandfather clauses have ended up just like my grandfather — shitting their Depends.

schvitzatura November 18, 2008 at 5:11 am

How about the indigo and tobacco production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results? Iron, steel, and armaments production (Springfield, MA) should have gone for WALNUTS! Party of Lincoln, right?

What of the Uncle Tom vote?

Aardvark Gumbo November 18, 2008 at 9:06 am

I said this first. That’s my cropping of 2008 electoral vote pic, for one thing. And I posted it on November 6, a week before “Pin the Tail” did.

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