civil war

Slaves Vote Heavily In Obama’s Favor

Whoa, it’s the electoral map with… with freakin’ dots all over the damn place, just cold clusterin’ and aggregatin’ over the blue areas. It is this: “Strange Maps overlays cotton production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results.” Awkward! And as you can see, we’ve “overlaid” — with a retarded X — the approximate location of John McCain’s Mississippi plantation, which he refuses to visit for sexy parties every single year. [Strange Maps via Andrew Sullivan]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. HomoPolitico

    Dude, you got slavery in my map porn! No way I’m jerking off to this, that’s just sick. Guess its back to those black market Nate Silver nude pictures for me.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Hi, black people — thanks for staying in the South. I have no idea why you did, but at a time like this it has its payoffs.

  3. queeraselvis v 2.0

    I told y’all that way earlier, around the time of the debate in Oxford. Walnuts knew full good and well that “his” nigras weren’t going to vote for his sorry ass ‘cuz they were afraid he’d repeal the 13th amendment in his first 100 days.

  4. joezoo

    This isn’t really as interesting as it looks. Urban areas tend to vote blue, and the most heavily populated areas in the 19th century South generally remain the most heavily populated areas today.

  5. Min

    [re=178934]mbprice[/re]: Easy answer. Those dots in middle southern Tennessee cover Lawrence and Giles County. Giles County is the home of Pulaski, TN, which gave America Nathan Bedford Forrest and the Ku Klux Klan.

  6. superfecta

    [re=178993]Min[/re]: I had a friend named Nate Forrest in high school. Half his family knew he was related to an ancestor who was famous for ‘some reason’ they couldn’t put their collective finger on, while the other half was rather unduly proud of said ancestor. Interesting.

  7. Min

    [re=179034]superfecta[/re]: Well, in all fairness, they could have been proud of NBF for his military successes, which were many, rather than for being the founder of the KKK.

  8. Borat

    Doesn’t Walnuts know its racist to use a darker color to represent slaves. And to use dots – insigificant specks – sends a really inferior message. It’s this kind of inane bias that cost him the election.

    I hope Barry made Walnuts kiss his pinky ring today.

  9. Ted Perino

    Jefferson County (Birmingham) may have been the only majority white county in Alabama to vote for Hopey. The swath of counties across the middle of the state are majority African American, rural, and poor. They are heavy with pine farms, owned by our capitalists masters in places like Philadelphia and Boston. John Hancock has 68,834 acres.

    Our Dutch masters own around a million acres of Alabama and Canadians have about half a million. They pay little tax, so it’s those foreigners who are keeping us down.

    I betcha the same is true for those Missippi Delta counties.

  10. undermedicated

    Why won’t they show us the map that overlays the sales of TRUCKNUTZ and those who voted against Hopey?


  11. El Topo

    [re=178934]mbprice[/re]: Nope. That county is so rural that it no longer has a name. The black people long ago moved into cities, where the racism comes in a much subtler flavor.

  12. aleks

    Could someone explain the origin of these internet traditions with which I’m unfamiliar?
    1. trucknutz
    2. Walnuts (I know we mean McCain, but not the origin).

    Thank you.

  13. Ted Perino

    Sigh. You ask for an explanation of the stars that shine, the magic of the rainbow, why puppies are so darned cute.

    1) Trucknutz was the theme that certain devious parties used to undermine the se-we-ous-ness of the Paultards, Librarians, and Young Republicans as they sought to plot a course for our future.

    2) Now doesn’t a certain chubby-cheeked presidential candidate look he’s got a couple of squirrelly jaws filled with Walnutty treats?

  14. aleks

    [re=179315]Ted Perino[/re]:

    1. Oh. I never would have figured that out.
    2. I thought he looked like a squirrel too, but didn’t know people associated squirrels with walnuts. I guess ACORN was already in use.

    Thank you.

  15. schvitzatura

    How about the indigo and tobacco production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results? Iron, steel, and armaments production (Springfield, MA) should have gone for WALNUTS! Party of Lincoln, right?

    What of the Uncle Tom vote?

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