Wonkette
Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.” Dude… they’re just Mormons.
Newt loves “traditional religion” and its values so very much. You know, Ten Commandments and the like! Such as, say, leaving your wife for a mistress while impeaching someone who got a BJ.
You can tell he really enjoys pretending that he has any convictions whatsoever. Also: near the end of this video he is credentialed as, “Co-Host Of The DVD, ‘We Have The Power.’” Which “they” don’t.
[Media Matters via Matt Yglesias]
Newty sez: I haz No Fe-e
Mormons are a traditional religion, now? Pretty sure the gays have been around for longer than their clan of polygamist space-Jesus magic underwear moonbat religion.
Better than the War on Christmas.
Newt is just upset that he can’t marry himself.
“gay and secular fascism” - never before in humankind have those words been put together in the same sentence.
Secular fascism? We are one of the most religious countries in the world, up there with Iran. Try telling someone you are are atheist. The reaction is akin to one people give the raving,unwashed, crazy man on the Metro–a blend of pity and fear and disgust.
What about the fascism of fascists who fascistally have sexy-sexy time with their mistresses while they’re still married to their wives?
Just askin’.
oh, and Newt? 1st Amendment-look it up.
Tee-hee, he said “YouTube”.
Dear Newt:
See “irrelevance” [defs. 1-2].
See also “Palin, Sarah” [def. 1].
Kthxbai.
don’t forget, his wife was recovering from cancer at the time too
Quit talkin ’bout yerself and yer party you numbnutz!
Smart people like those here already know the republicans are secular and the bad kind of gayz!
Go away!
If I use words like “fascism” more will people think I’m smart too?
so are these fascists also marxists, communists, socialists, and dadaists?
or what ever -ist sounds scariest to white middle america these days?
Your name is Newt. Sit down.
Rush: imagine the uniforms a gay, secular fascist army would have!
Nobody likes Newt. You’re all big meanies!
Newt loves you! He wants to sleep with you! That’s how much he loves you.
These fricken’ asshats have been foisting the fundie conservative “We believe in G_d the Father Almighty maker of heaven and Earth and you’d better believe too or else, fhags” bullshit routine on the rest of us for at least the last decade and a half (overtly, anyway). I’m glad they’re getting their own back, and I hope they choke on it. F*ckers.
Doglessliberal: No kidding! Down here in the South you’re asked two things: 1. What’s your name and 2. What church do you go to. *
*not necessarily in that order
I need to get my hands on one of those Republican Thesauruses! For example, I had no idea gays were being fascist. I was just going by old, silly definitions based on what the word actually meant, as opposed to just a general-purpose word meaning “bad”. Let’s take at what other words we could have used instead of “fascist”, inside the ol’ Republican Thesaurus:
BAD (adj.) Not good. See synonyms: fascist, Nazi, communist, socialist, liberal, secular, progressive, un-American
GOOD (adj.) Our side. See synonyms: Traditional, conservative, religious, American
I’ll be damned, I thought all those words had their own unique meanings!
Isn’t his sister gay?
The idea that religious people and right-wing politicians are somehow persecuted in this country never fails to get me laughing.
Secular extremists? I guess islamic extremists were so POTUS 43. All those countries that separate church and state better the fuck watch out!
Every other post on Freep is about liberal, secular or gay fascists. It’s surreal. But the other posts are how-tos on stockpiling weapons. So there’s that…
Hey after enduring 8 years of the Bush “administration”, they’re lucky we aren’t organizing lynch mobs. Actually, is anyone up for organizing some lynch mobs? Like in Hang ‘em High?
I wish ass cancer on Newty.
smashtheduck: WIN
Rule #1 when teh gayz take over, Newt: no more fugly ties.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: you get extra credit if you work in “hegemony” and “studies show”.
This is great stuff.
This really isn’t a dream. Here are the thought leaders for the Republicans from now until another 50 years later:
Newt! Sarah! Rev Huckabee and that fuckingly stupid mormon bazillionare who looks like that weird nazi guy with the deep eyesockets and disturbing gaze
Well, hmmm, concidering the traditional definition of fascism is a goverment that bends over and takes it in the ass for big business, I think we all know who the real fascists are in this country don’t we Mr. Contract to Screw and Sell Out America?
And his half sister is gay.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94onewt.phtml
And just like Kent Dorfman, he hails from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Are they imposing their will on the rest of “us” by — uh — trying to marry each other? Hey wait, I have a suggestion — if Newt and Rush and good ol’ Ronald Reagan and all them others concerned about marriage only got married once instead of all the zillions of times they did get married, then there’d be plenty of marriage left over for the gays. That’s a fair compromise. Assholes.
Remind him that Jesus had two dads.
Deepthroat: Yeah, she’s a big muscle dyke. I bet she kicked his sissy ass when he was a young newtling.
Lindsey Graham had something to say about this, but he was too busy getting rammed up the poop chute by Rick Davis.
Shorter Newt Gingrich: “I don’t know about you guys, but knowing that gay marriage exists here now has hurt marriage. Whenever I try and fuck my wife, all I can think about is two sweaty, heaving male bodies joined together in government sanctioned disgusting decadent man sex with large calloused hands grasping and moist gasping lips joined with giant throbbing cocks ohh yeah.”
slogan for America’s new gay secular fascist government: drill, baby, drill!
What would teh gay mormon magic underwear look like?
In related news: Ted Haggart’s preachin’ the good lord’s gospel again. The gift just keeps on giving. Kinda like herpes.
Having grown up in San Francisco - and thus having seen far more “Tom of Finland” posters than I care to remember — I think old Newty may have a point about that “gay facism” thingie.
“Seig Heil . . . you SAVAGE!”
Fucking pig. What is it called when you hand your wife divorce papers while she’s in the hospital with cancer? Traditional religious practice?
blader: Would that be Count Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg?
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/09_01/04schenk_100×110.jpg
He kinda looks like Mittens
As a long time onanist, I want some credit for threatening traditional values too.
I’m pretty sure “The Power” belongs to Snap. Oh snap!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BRv9wGf5pk
Aw, Newts just been putting bad things in his mouth again. Like newts…I just can’t help but notice the fat, downturned, crooked lips and half-open mouths of Republicans lately: Ted Stevens, O’Really, Dobby Dobson, Turdblossom, Newt, and the bush himself, not to mention Michelle, Pal Palin, and Kathryn Lopaz….the list goes on…
Rush: Never heard of Jorge Haider?
magic titty: “Christian love”
Damn, I missed this skit on Saturday Night Live this week! Sounds like a laugh riot.
Toomush Infermashun: Damn stretch marks
Maybe he meant to say gay “faction” or gay “fashion”?
NoWireHangers: HotPantsDiva scores again!
I can never quite understand what the wingnutz really think about teh gehz: one the one hand, they’re a menance to our national virility who sap our precious bodily fluids, on the other hand, they’re a freakishly tiny statisical aberration of no consequence whatsoever. I know, I know: looking for logicial consistency in the all the wrong places only leads to heartbreak and a possible trip to the free clinic. But, geez…
Stupid republicans. They think the use a word with “ists” on the end and it means the end of civilization. IT DOESN”T WORK! We voted for Obama anyways. Stupid republicans.
The conservatives do have a peculiar way of reclaiming particular words in the english language. Aligning Fascism with the left? Whats next, using the word ni***h as a complimentary salutation to their chauffeurs?
IslandGirlFL: Newtists?
Newt Gingrich. Sorry. Piece. Of. Fuck.
I don’t understand why Gingrich still relevant. Are those desperate GOP just recycling their ass holes? I know they’re out of ideas but they can’t be out of hypocrites.
Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.
Favorite slogans at Seattle’s Prop 8 rally:
Don’t like Gay marriage? Don’t get one.
If you like my decorating you’ll LOVE my revolution.
Ban Mormon sex.
Ban straight divorce.
shortsshortsshorts: That’s not Newt, that’s shorts. C’mere and gimme a kiss!
Be sure to catch the second installment of the interview!!! Wherein Newt tells Bill-o…
You know what, Bill? I’m sick and tired of women having the monopoly on erotic undergarments. If I want to wear a tight thong or a hot pair of panties, it’s my masculine right as a straight man. I don’t see why underwear needs to be fucking genderized all the time by mindless feminists. Who invented most lingerie in the first place? MEN. And certainly not just for their sexist wives. If a female can wear jeans then a male should be able to wear and enjoy a pink g-string in public without shame or peer pressure. Why do we put up with this implicit discrimination?
We Republicans gotta keep these culture wars in line, yo!
Doglessliberal: Studies show that the most opressed people in the United States are wealthy, middle-aged white males with unlimited access to talk radio and Fox News.
Apparently, I have been heretofore uninformed. The gayz are “prepared to use violence, to use harassment?” What? Choke him with our feather boas and smear hair gel in his eyes? Who’d want to get that close? Ewww.
Damn you gay secular fascists, you’re giving fascism a bad name
ihasasad: it is true though that in Savannah, they really do ask “what would you like to drink?” In the summer (which is quite long), I suggest a gin and tonic.
At 59 seconds into the video Newt defends those who support an “historic version of Islam.”
This is obviously a new episode of ‘Punk’d.’
ihasasad: and, if you are female, what sorority did you pledge?
I think Tina Fey properly noted that marriage is a sacred bond between two unwilling teenagers faced with an unwanted pregnancy.
Praises be to Jesus.
If marriage is such a sacred Christian tradition, why didn’t Jesus get married?
You gotta wonder if there’s some giant irony alarm going off in Newtie’s head when he says all this. “Danger, Newt, danger! You are describing yourself. You are describing the tactics of your own party. You are opening yourself up and showing everyone your black hypocritical heart. Shutting down…self awareness…must protect…inflated sense of self importance! NEWT 2012!”
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
The Frogurt Is Also Cursed: Wait. I thought the walrus was Paul. If John or Paul or you are the Walrus, who is the Eggman? Are you the Eggman?
Giant Robot: Credit given, and shared.
Kev-O-Tron: Ban straight divorce.
I find that shuts ‘em up like nothing else. Especially if you point out that Jesus wasn’t real crazy about divorce.
4tehlulz: goo goo g’joob
Weird days when Prince & Newt Gingrich agree on something.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/17/prince-talks-religious-co_n_144338.html
Gay = bad Secretly gay = traditional religion
CrunchyKnee: Like this, but in white and with a little cross right at the tip of the, well, tip.
Ms Johnson: Oh, yeah: the “harassment”. Poor persecuted Mormofascists. You donate a grand or two to deprive people of their civil liberties, get the atta-straight-boys from your bishop and church buddies, and everything’s just lovely. Then those who object to you making their marriages illegal (along a load of friends, neighbors, and families) say, “That was not nice, Mr. Mormofascist. I am vexed and will not be purchasing goods and services from your business anymore” and you crumple? Yeah, it’s blood in the streets, ain’t it? You make sick, you crybabies — butch up, show a little self-respect, and take it like a gay man, you snivelling little dorks.
TGY: oh - he’s tried many times … very soft hands, I’ve heard.
loquaciousmusic: Do all “fascists who fascistally have sexy-sexy time with their mistresses” do it wearing diapers? Because the thought of Newt in diapers is really turning me on.
Yes, Newt, this is precisely what the Republican Party needs. A culture war, where you take the side of the Mormons against teh ghey. You and McMooseMama get to work on that ASAP. I think this strategy will only work if you take it to the furthest extreme as you can, so don’t hold back. Keep it going, but be much, much more vocal. Amp it up. I know your efforts will result in the betterment of this fine nation.
Yes, Newt. All of these hard-line free-though relativists
are threating your first-amendment rights.
I can’t even make a joke or laugh at this at all, these people make me sick to my stomach. They are sooooo held down, I mean the Christians freaking rule this country!
Actually the end is funny, Bill “Don’t change the channel we are going to scare the shit out of you when we come back! FEAR< TERROR GAYS BLACKS MEXICANS ECONOMY!!#$# rAWRA DeMOcrats!!!!”
southernfried: Hear, hear!
Amazing that a little bashing makes them cry like little spoiled brats whose ice cream cone just met ms. dogshit on the ground (five-second rule=void) when some of us have been enduring dastardly treatment and downright abuse for eleventy hundred years… because of fascist-like mindsets which dittoheads support, uphold and, against all reason, cling to.
Newt, if you want to live with those values, go herd goats in the unforgiving desert - that’s what they were made for… and get lost for forty or four hundred years, you moran!
DL Hughely really pissed me off Friday when interviewing my darling Daniel Salvaje and said, among several other stupid things, “I’ve never met a black atheist.” And you don’t realize that it’s only because of cultural colonialism, you funkin mind-slave?
Ahh… I should just go slurp on a bag of dicks- because I like them.
“It’s no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?”
- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063823/quotes
magic titty: What is it called when you hand your wife divorce papers while she’s in the hospital with cancer?
The Republican two step. What is worse, dumping you crippled wife who waited 5 1/2 years for you to come home or serving papers on your wife while she is in the hospital. At least Edwards waited until his wife went into remission before he screwed around! Don’t tell me the Newt isn’t getting all hot and flustered with Republican teenage boys.
bitchincamaro: I wish ass cancer on Newty. No. Not even on Newt.
OKLAHOMAjesus?: They are sooooo held down, I mean the Christians freaking rule this country! That’s one of the ingredients of real fascism: convincing people that they are an oppressed majority.
Gay government…..that’s fierce!!
Doglessliberal[/re]: [re=178843]
Oh hell…
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=9G75tH2wfvQ
It’s a little bit hard to cry the end of world is coming when hope is on the horizon. Jackasses. They all look like a bunch of conspiracy theorists. No one takes them serious. They’re watched because it’s entertaining. Not because it’s informative.
I like when he says “Antithetical” and then makes sure to define it.
Doglessliberal: C’mon, why do you have to talk about Joe Lieberman like that?
HaHaHaHa! It’s not even January yet! And this train doesn’t even know where the tracks are, anymore! Guns! Queer fascists! Over-the-hill Eskimos! Somebody help me, I’m drowning………
God=sin=guilt=perversion. I bet most pedophiles/rapists/other creepies believe in a God.
Thank Dog I’m an Atheist!!
Ms Johnson: Apparently, they also throw glitter: http://urbzen.com/2008/11/12/glitter-oh-the-humanity/
Toomush Infermashun: they just keep trying to find the OLD, overgrown with weeds tracks. Did they not learn these roads lead to the bridge to nowhere?
meh, imagine how their heads will explode on Inauguration Day. I. can. not. wait.
Newt really wants it. Reading between the lines, he wants someone to impose their will on him in a violent or harassing way. Why are all these GOP guys in the closet? If they just came out, they would totally win the gayz vote
sati demise: Yeh, the only word I can think of is: SPLOOOOOGE!!!…
donner_froh: I get so SICK of the way the War on Christmas creeps in earlier and earlier every year. The War on Christmas begins AFTER Thanksgiving, dammit, with the traditional stoning of Santa at the Macy’s parade.
Deepthroat: No, that was the previous wife he cheated on. He cheated on the cancery one with the one he was cheating on during the impeachment hearings.
The Frogurt Is Also Cursed: Dashiki-ist.
sati demise: Oh yes…. There will be a fantastic closing shot where Hopey and Michelle step inside the front door of 1600 Pennsylvania and close the door. At that moment it will sink into the collective mind of the GOP electorate that - finally - there is a black family living in the White House. And they will not like that feeling one. single. bit.
mattbolt: (overheard in Republican home)
KID: “Mom, I wanna roast beef sandwich in my lunch today.”
MOM: “Sorry, dear, the roast beef is for dinner tonight. Howbout a PBJ?”
KID: “Fascist.”
Kev-O-Tron: I’ve had mormon sex and it’s fantastic. No banning it please. Mormon boys–ideally more than one at a time–are HOT. Especially when they curl up crying at the end because they know Moroni is mad at them.
Christiofascists must die now/all fat old white men.
-Teh gays have good fashion sense
-Fascists have good fashion sense (Nazi SS uniforms were designed by Hugo Boss)
Coincidence? Methinks not!
mattbolt: Just think, if Mormonism is “traditional religion” now, in only about 50 years or so Scientology will be a “traditional religion” too!
answerbird: BUT THAT WAS OVER 30 YEARS AGO THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS HAS RUN OUT AND HE’S A WAR HERO AND WHAT ABOUT CLINTON!!!
/freeper madness
silly Newt doesn’t realize that everything he described perfectly describes the position that he and his cronies are in. Just straight up harassing and forcin their views on people and trying to control hte government.
What the hell is the war on Christmas? Can you go anywhere without seeing cheesy decorations and hearing endless Christmas muzak? Did Limbaugh get coal instead of Oxy in his stocking?
choinski: Yes, but the two have been divorced for years.
“Dude… they’re just Mormons.”
Right. As you try to take hold of them to justify yourself, Gingy, as an egotistical, serial polygamist.
While Mittney, whore of Fox News ratings and David Frum, might not see through you, we do.
finallyhappy: Are you in tank with the gay fascist Christmas haters who refuse to acknowledge that a store clerk saying “Happy Holidays” to a shopper is part of the anti-christ agenda?
Just asking.
Wai-wai-wai-wait… violent gays?! Cause “Straight-bashing” is such a common phrase heard in our society, really!
I really want to see this supposed gay and secular army of fascists. I bet we’re really, really well dressed. *nods* And we all have fabulous haircuts.
So, Capri pants will finally die the undignified death they deserve?
Because Jodphurs > Capris. Anyday.
Give him a break. A guy who goes through life with a name like Newt is bound to be defensive about his sexuality.
BE AFRAID EVERYONE! BE VERY AFRAID! THE GAYS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE GOVERNMENT AND IMPOSE THEIR BELIEFS ON US! Oh wait, didn’t the Christians already do that? Never mind.
My dad worked for Newty at some point, 5 or 6 years ago maybe longer? Anyway, he invited Daddy to some kind of speech thing, and the entire time he was speaking Newt stared at my stepmother’s breasts. Afterward, he came up to my father and asked him who the delightful woman was…. this of course, while he’s married.
I can’t believe Gingrich is still out there and people are still listening.
http://www.entertonement.com/collections/7622/Gingrich-on-Gays-and-Fascism
Nice to see that these two guys are talking about christian morality, seeing as how Bill-O was slapped with a huge sexual harassment suit, and Newt cheated on his wife with his secretary.