• May 26, 2012

Young Lady Owns Obama’s Old Car

by Jim Newell  

See that chrome jalopy there with the gal in it, just cruisin’? It’s a Dodge Neon, a spunky lil’ thing that the kids are always buying for their first cars. Well this lucky teen bought it used in late 2005 — only a handful of months after Barack Obama traded it in! To go work in the Senate! Sounds like a newspaper story to us! [Chicago Tribune]

{ 57 comments }

FreshCliches November 17, 2008 at 2:41 pm

It might make a profit on EBay, but I’m holding out for the Hopey Rookie Card.

hedgehog November 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Which reminds me — when do we get to hear about Barry’s ex-girlfriends from the days before he traded them in for Michelle? Any female equivalents of the Dodge Neon?

TGY November 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

*sniff* *sniff*…EBaY!

N8Ma November 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

IT’S A LITTLE GIRL CAR.

Putin will eat us then excrete us now.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend November 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

“I can’t believe the president of the United States would be driving around in a Dodge Neon,” she says. “It’s a little girl car.”

Hahaha!

loganmo November 17, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Jon Voight the actor?

No, John Voight the periodontist!

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 2:45 pm

And thus Obama’s great big secret comes out at last: he’s a little girl.

No wait, that’s “skinny bitch.”

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 2:46 pm

It still has the fresh New Hope smell!

TGY November 17, 2008 at 2:48 pm

“It’s a little girl car.”

I think Natasha had better kiss her hopes of a cabinet appointment goodbye.

Tawmn November 17, 2008 at 2:48 pm

The Dodge Neon turns on a dollar-fifty.

SwanSwanH November 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

[re=178609]WIDTAP[/re]: Puh-leese. It’s all smoked up.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

That’s nothing — I just saw the Pope on rollerskates.

heroinmule November 17, 2008 at 2:53 pm

The guy sets a good example in a nation of Boomer morons who think the gravy train is going to last forever (for them it will at their children’s expense) and roll around in obnoxious, financed SUVs. Good for Obama. It seems like he spends his money on books and education. Pardon, Boomer-hating is my second job.

shanemcgowan November 17, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Gasoline is in the tank.

cal November 17, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Slow news day?

mattbolt November 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Smells like someone’s been having fun with Tuts, Gramps and the Choom Gang in the backseat

Servo November 17, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Runs like champ…2 trannies and 3 head gaskets later.

Quacker November 17, 2008 at 2:57 pm

The Neon, of course, was immaculate. The girl, not so much….

CorkPopper November 17, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Goodness. Must be as slow at Our Wonkette as it is in my office. Ring, phone, ring dammit! Doesn’t anybody want to hire anybody? Anybody??? Don’t make me resort to reading TNR…

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Has it been vetted?

Maus November 17, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=178621]heroinmule[/re]: WE DESERVE IT, WE WERE kinda THE GREATEST GENERATION ISN’T THAT WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TEE VEE WHEN MY STORIES AREN’T ON

Godot November 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm

I had an awesome Dodge Neon SRT4 in Midnight Club 3 for PlayStation 2. It had glossy green paint with large red/purple/blue gradient flame decals covering the front, green-tinted windows, gold spinnas, flashing blue undercarriage neons, and gold lettering of my online handle on the back windshield.

Oh, and hydraulics, obvs. God I loved that car. One day I will recreate it in real life, and on that day, my wife will leave me because who wants to be seen with someone driving such a monstrosity.

shortsshortsshorts November 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Chrysler’s suck balls.

Mr Blifil November 17, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Oh jesus, now everytime I see a young woman in a sporty small car I’m going to have to wonder if she fucked Obama to get it…

DarkSynergy November 17, 2008 at 3:05 pm

How awesome is it that he was humble enough to drive a shitty dodge neon?

*Shitty for his money standards that is.

Serolf Divad November 17, 2008 at 3:06 pm

It needs a new transmission from all those times Obama used to rev it to redline and drop the clutch. Smoky burnouts, baby, that’s what it’s all about. I hear William Ayers taught him how to do a handbrake turn.

problemwithcaring November 17, 2008 at 3:07 pm

I test-drove a Neon in high school when looking to buy my first car. I remember thinking, “This is some slow ass shit. I’d get more cool points driving a Saturn.”

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 3:14 pm

Is this the one with hole in the floor, what Michelle was chucking the empties through?

sevenrepeat November 17, 2008 at 3:15 pm

I bet he traded it in for a Geo Metro.

Botswana Meat Commission FC November 17, 2008 at 3:17 pm

ZOMG, the Neon has to be the shittiest piece of shit shit-box that shitty-ass Detroit ever shit out of its shit-hole.

We CANNOT have a Neon driver as president. No!

WadISay November 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Under the spare, there’s voo-doo dolls of John McCain and Hillary, three Glock-9s and some bags of “powdered sugar.” Please forward them to the Casa d’Hope in DC, kthxbi. r

DieOnTheTurnpike November 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

[re=178672]problemwithcaring[/re]: There’s nothing wrong with driving a Saturn!

Botswana Meat Commission FC November 17, 2008 at 3:21 pm

People. This is crazy talk. Dodge Neons should be driven by pregnant 17-year-old girls with their names spelled out in their earrings, and absolutely no one else.

Certainly not the preznit of the “free” world…

THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. WHERES ALAN KEYES. TIME TO FILE LAWSUITS!

american mutt November 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=178700]sevenrepeat[/re]: He was actually saving up for a ’91 Ford Escort hatchback.

american mutt November 17, 2008 at 3:33 pm

No other president in history will be known for having driven a 2005 Dodge Neon four years before they became president. These are great times indeed.

qwerty42 November 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=178726]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: maybe a fully-restored WWII jeep?

Origami November 17, 2008 at 3:45 pm

What, he didn’t drive a Volvo?

This is kinda cute, actually. Everyone wants Obama to be their new hip boyfriend but he is just a dorky, thrifty dad who doesn’t know anything about cars.

Vanity Smurf November 17, 2008 at 3:47 pm

[re=178720]DieOnTheTurnpike[/re]: That’s right, there’s nothing wrong with actually driving one — like when Avis is doesn’t have the Caddy you reserved. What is wrong is buying one of the damn things.

Danko Ramone November 17, 2008 at 3:51 pm

More and more, Obama looks like a normal guy who’s had a lot of diverse experiences. I like that.

http://www.BusterGetMyPills.com

wallythepug November 17, 2008 at 3:58 pm

This makes me like Hopey even more.

LittlePig November 17, 2008 at 3:58 pm

[re=178717]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Too young to remember the Chevy Vega, eh?

I worked a summer project back in 1976 for which one of my team leaders was a guy on the Vega design team. Needless to say, we made that three weeks of unmitigated hell for him.

WadISay November 17, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=178601]N8Ma[/re]: Putin shits cars like this.

Botswana Meat Commission FC November 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[re=178764]qwerty42[/re]:
YES! Something cool!
I want Barry to be the kind of guy who owned a slightly rusted 1978 Porsche 911 with the “cookie cutter” wheels.

Doglessliberal November 17, 2008 at 4:12 pm

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: the dude was maxed out on his credit cards and flat broke a few years ago. They just paid off their student loans recently with book proceeds. This POS was probably the best he could afford. My first card was a eggyolk yellow Ford Fiesta, FOUR speed. Utter crap but I loved it.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 4:25 pm

[re=178807]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Hopey is not cool, people. Deal with it already. The whole inspiring-world-icon-and-Jugendfuhrer schtick was just to get elected. He’s a dorky, boring and very sweet professor and daddy. He hasn’t been hip anything since he was a sophomore in college and had that weird epiphany about his future being in community organizing.

Mustang November 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm

[re=178862]AxmxZ[/re]: So true. I noticed this the day after the election when he dropped the hip sexy black man thing. I think it was wearing on him. In reality he’s just an unhip sexy black man.

Botswana Meat Commission FC November 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=178823]Doglessliberal[/re]:
[re=178862]AxmxZ[/re]:

Buzzkills.

Don’t ruin my non-sexual (ok, sometimes sexual) Barry Hussein fantasies!

Constitutional Riots November 17, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=178639]bitchincamaro[/re]: If Obama had driven a suped up Vette, my opinion of him would have dropped consierably. This puts his sexuality even higher in the ratio of car size to a man’s anatomical horse power. He would look awesome on horseback, or really goofy – like when he went bowling with the Bitters. From henceforth, I think all the Presidents’ cars should be vetted. What does Bill Clinton’s car history reveal?? Just think, we could have avoided all the hoopla surrounding Clinton’s libido if we had only known he owned an AMC Pacer when he was 17.

http://www.automotto.org/images/amc_pacer.jpg

Murph November 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm

This is the first good story in the Trib since the change in ownership and direction!

Constitutional Riots November 17, 2008 at 4:52 pm

[re=178901]Constitutional Riots[/re]: “considerably”

problemwithcaring November 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm

[re=178889]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: He’s only 47; surely, there is still time left for him to express his insecurities using the time-honored male tradition of buying an impracticable muscle car. When the mid-life crisis does occur, though, I want in on the “stepping out with cheap-slut” part.

problemwithcaring November 17, 2008 at 4:58 pm

[re=178921]problemwithcaring[/re]: impractical. also.

Toomush Infermashun November 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm

When does he put his mother-in-law on Ebay? I heard that interview on 60 LONG Minutes and I’m pretty sure that’s what moving into the White House is code for…

Borat November 17, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Let me guess, it came with a massiv’ sub-woofer and free CDs of NWA

HuddledMass November 17, 2008 at 7:01 pm

[re=178802]LittlePig[/re]: OMG the Chevy Vega — I crossed the USA in one of those awful, awful cars back in 1978. Actually, it blew a head gasket in Las Vegas and we traded it for something called a Colt, so it was only 2/3 of the way across the USA…

For this reason alone I want the big 3 to go down; let the world economy dissolve in chaos if I can only get revenge for that AWFUL Vega…

StoneAge November 17, 2008 at 9:01 pm

What’s really amazing here is that she paid $6,000 for a five-year-old Neon.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 9:13 pm

[re=178921]problemwithcaring[/re]: Oh please… he’s probably going to rebel by buying a really expensive MuMORPuGer and getting up an hour before schedule one weekend to play this really awesome cleric build he read about on this one forum.

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