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TOTAL DEFEAT

McCain Pays His Awkward Respects To New King


Wow, this meeting between Walnuts and Mr. Cool is almost too embarrassing to watch. But what the hell, the risk of personal embarrassment never stopped McCain. [CNN/YouTube via LV-426]


1:31 PM on Mon November 17 2008
By Ken Layne
4723 Views

  1. “McCain Not Expected to be Offered a Job in Obama Admin”

    Sad Mac. :(

  2. FreshCliches says at 1:34 pm, November 17th, 2008

    “Hey Guys….what’s up, Andy?……meet my new bitch.”

  3. WhatTheHeck says at 1:35 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Squirm baby, squirm. So painful.
    What tribute did he bring?

  4. Geez, you were supposed to kiss the ring, Mac, not deepthroat it.

  5. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:36 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Walnuts already forgot there even was an election, so he’s just sitting pretty on that Senate seat, waiting to run for President for the “first time” at 76 year’s old.

  6. seriesoftubescleaner says at 1:36 pm, November 17th, 2008

    …just stupid.

  7. Who’s Andy, and how did he get to be so super-special that Hopey inquires after him by name?

  8. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 1:37 pm, November 17th, 2008

    WTF with those ginormous chairs? I mean, Barry is at least tall enough to pull his off, but WALNUTS! looks like Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann.

  9. ihasasad says at 1:37 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Wasaaaaa Andy!

  10. sarahconnor says at 1:37 pm, November 17th, 2008

    For some reason this is conjuring Twin Peaks… Agent Cooper and the dwarf that talks backwards in that wierd room with the red curtain.

  11. NoWireHangers says at 1:39 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Oh, man. WALNUTS is a such a square!

  12. Considering that in days of the Byzantine Empire (aka his youth), McCain would have had his nose cut off, he must feel this is a big improvement.

  13. “Andy, great to see you again! And you too, Senator … umm … Andy, help me out with this old man’s name, would ya?”

  14. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 1:44 pm, November 17th, 2008

    NoBama be the most stone cold chillin’ and illin’ president elect in history.

    “Hey guys. ‘Sup Andy. Hey somebody bust me a brew, and get some gin and prune juice for gramps over here.”

  15. The best part is at the end, when McCain can barely keep up the half-assed banter about football. “Yeah, he turned out to be quite a … [uncomfortable long pause] … quite a performer. Oh, God, my life has been a sham.”

  16. Special Agent Jack Mehoff says at 1:47 pm, November 17th, 2008

    JM: Footballs!

    BO: Yes! Football!

  17. Atheist Nun says at 1:47 pm, November 17th, 2008

    It’s like the whole room is afraid to tell McCain that he’s got spinach in his teeth.

  18. Obama is like a bedside volunteer at the VA.

  19. That was stiffer than small talk on a bad blind date.

  20. What happened to Walnuts BFF Lindsay?

  21. lolababy says at 1:53 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Christ, does Lindsay Graham let him go to the bathroom by himself?

  22. NoWireHangers says at 1:55 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Poor WALNUTS!; Barry is just rubbing the cool in his face. He knows he’s an old out of touch loser. He feels uncool. The press loves young, beautiful Barack, and there WALNUTS! sits all old and crusty and more uptight than a pair of well-packed control top pantyhose.

  23. anabellum says at 1:55 pm, November 17th, 2008

    did i mention that we’re getting a new puppy John?…

  24. Capitol Hillbilly says at 1:56 pm, November 17th, 2008

    mention the Bears again and I’ll go all Wilbur Marshall on your ass …

  25. Ted Perino says at 2:00 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Hopey kind of owns the room. If he had a decent bass player and drummer (clearly not les deux awkwards), I halfway expect him to break into some Thelonious Monk. [DNC approved expenditures: shades and a pork pie hat]

  26. Cherry Garcia says at 2:05 pm, November 17th, 2008

    OMG, this is like when two straight guys accidentally touch they start talking about football right away to bridge the awkward silence and prove their manliness. Notice, Lindsay Graham has no NFL-related remarks to contribute.

  27. Fivetree says at 2:06 pm, November 17th, 2008

    If I were Walnuts, I’d be squirming, cross-legged, like an old lady with a full bladder, too if I had to meet face to face with someone I had slandered as a Terrorist-Socialist-Surrender Flag-Wavin’-Bay-killin’-Muslim-Appeaser-Celebrity-Crackhead. You’d think he expects to be pistol-whipped with a jumbo sized can of Whupp Ass once the press leaves. He should be.

  28. charlesdegoal says at 2:07 pm, November 17th, 2008

    A fundamental problem is that upward of 57 million persons would have liked the guy on the left to be their leader. Orlando seems to have beaten Charlotte as well.

  29. bitchincamaro says at 2:08 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Nice body language, guys. Why not just throw up a partition between you, next time? That’s not reach-around we can believe in!

  30. WALNUTS! Needs to work on his brown-nosin’ technique.

  31. Anonymous Office Zombie: gin and prune juice

    That’s what Cindy told him a Purple Nurple is.

  32. freeatlast says at 2:17 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Johnny boy still can’t believe it. He has to explain to a real live negro what all he effed up when he went back to Washington to “fix” the financial crisis… Barack: “John, I’m not suggesting that you apologize. I’m suggesting that you retire…”

  33. darbyogill says at 2:23 pm, November 17th, 2008

    “Immediately following the meeting, John McCain exited the room, mumbled something about ‘goddamn coloreds’, and promptly shot himself.”

    Jeebus… his legs and fingers are crossed so tightly he looks like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady.

  34. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:23 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Arizona won? Big fat hairy deal, they played the Seahawks. Trophy for participation. Yay.

  35. superdave says at 2:25 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Who cares about WALNUTS!?! I want more stories about Cindy getting it on with Steven Seagal,

  36. HuskyMescan says at 2:29 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Who’s the old guy that looks he has a Saguaro shoved up his ass? Oh, wait, that’s McCain!

  37. skyinator says at 2:31 pm, November 17th, 2008

    “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” re-release on opposite day!

  38. Mojobert says at 2:32 pm, November 17th, 2008

    They both almost came when the subject went to football. The most fruitless search for conversational common ground since Laura Bush sat down with the Burka Squad.

  39. problemwithcaring says at 2:33 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Aw, see there? They brought up the Bears…

    Preconditions ain’t sound so bad now, huh?

  40. Mr Blifil says at 2:40 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Look how McCain’s crossed his legs tight across his nuts, while Obama’s are wide akimbo as if to say, “give my boys some air…”

  41. Alex Trebeks Girl says at 2:56 pm, November 17th, 2008

    McCain is such a sadist! Who does this? OMG lick my boots too while you’re at it.

  42. Change I could believe in would be NO FLAGS IN THE BACKGROUND. Politicians should only pose with flags they are carrying.

  43. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 3:07 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Mr Blifil: Yes. WALNUTS! sits like a fag.

  44. Itsjustme says at 3:09 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Who is this Andy person?

    Lindsay (Lindsey) Graham not only has a woman’s name, but he laughs like a damn girl.

  45. East of Sweden says at 3:10 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Why couldn’t they just use the amazing hologram thing? After all it is CNN; they have it. No awkwardness of the big chairs and all the bad chemistry, but a calm and soothing green-screen tent with some remote controlled HD cameras.

  46. Mr Blifil: It’s a little known fact that Barack Obama is actually a Nigerian conman whom ‘business rivals’ call “Prince” and Interpol knows as “Legs Akimbo.”

  47. facehead says at 3:15 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Oh I get it, it was an interview with the two guys least likely to have sex with each other.

  48. druranium says at 3:17 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Josh Fruhlinger: That was sad, wasn’t it?
    Itsjustme: I was wondering what that high pitched twittering noise was…thought WALNUTS! had really lost it, and then Lindsee came into view and the mystery was cleared up. But yes, Walnuts has still really lost everything and seems sad.

  49. sarcasticusername says at 3:43 pm, November 17th, 2008

    walnuts totally wants to reach over and strangle the hope out of him. it’s hilarious seeing all the losers on cable news speculating about walnuts being given the shittiest job available in obama world (because everyone that hopey has ever spoken to is being considered for a job this week), and having their guests try to respond seriously before bursting into laughter about how much these two guys actually hate each other.

  50. Sassette says at 3:43 pm, November 17th, 2008

    What was the point of this meeting again? Because as far as I can tell from the statement that said nothing and this awkward clip… the point was mainly to humiliate John McCain. Which is awesome and all, but hardly necessary at this point. This is one step up from Barry making out with Cindy McCain wearing a Marine Corps. t-shirt.

  51. Lazy Media says at 3:55 pm, November 17th, 2008

    O Hai, McKane. Mai Harbls, Let Me Show U Them.

    Man, could Hopey get a little more dominating with the body language? Meanwhile, Walnuts is in a submissive Omega Dog crouch.

  52. Love the chairs…those look like they came from one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces.

  53. OKLAHOMAjesus? says at 5:10 pm, November 17th, 2008

    “Yo Andyzzz what up dowg? Yeah yeah, check it” So, since Obama won, his true inner-Lil’ John can finally show.

  54. Jukesgrrl says at 6:11 pm, November 17th, 2008

    “See my man Reggie on your way out and he’ll give you a lollypop … and a dope slap for even showing up here, Douche.”

  55. Toomush Infermashun says at 6:16 pm, November 17th, 2008

    This is what happens when you forget your Depends….

  56. Barry is not the first president to employ the phrase “what’s up.”

    In 1863, Abraham “Lincoln Continental” Lincoln famously intoned, “What the fuck’s up with Jefferson Davis and them Democrat playa-hatas and shit?”

  57. TexasCowGirl says at 8:38 pm, November 17th, 2008

    Barry is a cool cruel bastard to humiliate poor old WALNUTS! like this. He’s suffered enough, but Barry just has to keep fucking with him. Everyone knows you are the Once and Future King Barry. Everyone knows that you’re the HNIC. This is totally unnessary.

    Damn I love you Barry, you sexy alpha dog beast!

  58. Lazy Media: McCain knows all about that. He’s military. He knows whose bitch he is now.

  59. AWOcoholic says at 9:43 pm, November 17th, 2008

    1. Walnuts crosses his legs like a 14 year old girl.
    2. Why is Lindsey Graham still following him around?
    3. Walnuts on Arizona Cardinals QB Warner: “He’s turned out to be quite a performer. There’s hope for all of us.”

  60. The reporter doing the intro to this love-fest was obviously left speechless.

  61. As far as eye contact goes I’m seeing a major difference from the debates. It’s as if Lindsey Graham told WALNUTS, “Ya know, John…It’s okay if you look directly at Barry; you won’t get pregnant. I promise”.

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