TOTAL DEFEAT  1:31 pm November 17, 2008

McCain Pays His Awkward Respects To New King

by Ken Layne

Wow, this meeting between Walnuts and Mr. Cool is almost too embarrassing to watch. But what the hell, the risk of personal embarrassment never stopped McCain. [CNN/YouTube via LV-426]

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cal November 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

“McCain Not Expected to be Offered a Job in Obama Admin”

Sad Mac. :(

FreshCliches November 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

“Hey Guys….what’s up, Andy?……meet my new bitch.”

WhatTheHeck November 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Squirm baby, squirm. So painful.
What tribute did he bring?

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Geez, you were supposed to kiss the ring, Mac, not deepthroat it.

shortsshortsshorts November 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Walnuts already forgot there even was an election, so he’s just sitting pretty on that Senate seat, waiting to run for President for the “first time” at 76 year’s old.

seriesoftubescleaner November 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm

…just stupid.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Who’s Andy, and how did he get to be so super-special that Hopey inquires after him by name?

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

WTF with those ginormous chairs? I mean, Barry is at least tall enough to pull his off, but WALNUTS! looks like Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann.

ihasasad November 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Wasaaaaa Andy!

sarahconnor November 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

For some reason this is conjuring Twin Peaks… Agent Cooper and the dwarf that talks backwards in that wierd room with the red curtain.

NoWireHangers November 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Oh, man. WALNUTS is a such a square!

Mahousu November 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Considering that in days of the Byzantine Empire (aka his youth), McCain would have had his nose cut off, he must feel this is a big improvement.

sezme November 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

“Andy, great to see you again! And you too, Senator … umm … Andy, help me out with this old man’s name, would ya?”

Anonymous Office Zombie November 17, 2008 at 1:44 pm

NoBama be the most stone cold chillin’ and illin’ president elect in history.

“Hey guys. ‘Sup Andy. Hey somebody bust me a brew, and get some gin and prune juice for gramps over here.”

Josh Fruhlinger November 17, 2008 at 1:45 pm

The best part is at the end, when McCain can barely keep up the half-assed banter about football. “Yeah, he turned out to be quite a … [uncomfortable long pause] … quite a performer. Oh, God, my life has been a sham.”

Special Agent Jack Mehoff November 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm

JM: Footballs!

BO: Yes! Football!

Atheist Nun November 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm

It’s like the whole room is afraid to tell McCain that he’s got spinach in his teeth.

Kwame' November 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Obama is like a bedside volunteer at the VA.

ella November 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm

That was stiffer than small talk on a bad blind date.

Dreamer November 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm

What happened to Walnuts BFF Lindsay?

lolababy November 17, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Christ, does Lindsay Graham let him go to the bathroom by himself?

NoWireHangers November 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Poor WALNUTS!; Barry is just rubbing the cool in his face. He knows he’s an old out of touch loser. He feels uncool. The press loves young, beautiful Barack, and there WALNUTS! sits all old and crusty and more uptight than a pair of well-packed control top pantyhose.

anabellum November 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

did i mention that we’re getting a new puppy John?…

Capitol Hillbilly November 17, 2008 at 1:56 pm

mention the Bears again and I’ll go all Wilbur Marshall on your ass …

Ted Perino November 17, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Hopey kind of owns the room. If he had a decent bass player and drummer (clearly not les deux awkwards), I halfway expect him to break into some Thelonious Monk. [DNC approved expenditures: shades and a pork pie hat]

Cherry Garcia November 17, 2008 at 2:05 pm

OMG, this is like when two straight guys accidentally touch they start talking about football right away to bridge the awkward silence and prove their manliness. Notice, Lindsay Graham has no NFL-related remarks to contribute.

Fivetree November 17, 2008 at 2:06 pm

If I were Walnuts, I’d be squirming, cross-legged, like an old lady with a full bladder, too if I had to meet face to face with someone I had slandered as a Terrorist-Socialist-Surrender Flag-Wavin’-Bay-killin’-Muslim-Appeaser-Celebrity-Crackhead. You’d think he expects to be pistol-whipped with a jumbo sized can of Whupp Ass once the press leaves. He should be.

charlesdegoal November 17, 2008 at 2:07 pm

A fundamental problem is that upward of 57 million persons would have liked the guy on the left to be their leader. Orlando seems to have beaten Charlotte as well.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 2:08 pm

Nice body language, guys. Why not just throw up a partition between you, next time? That’s not reach-around we can believe in!

TGY November 17, 2008 at 2:11 pm

WALNUTS! Needs to work on his brown-nosin’ technique.

Mara47 November 17, 2008 at 2:13 pm

[re=178483]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: gin and prune juice

That’s what Cindy told him a Purple Nurple is.

freeatlast November 17, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Johnny boy still can’t believe it. He has to explain to a real live negro what all he effed up when he went back to Washington to “fix” the financial crisis… Barack: “John, I’m not suggesting that you apologize. I’m suggesting that you retire…”

darbyogill November 17, 2008 at 2:23 pm

“Immediately following the meeting, John McCain exited the room, mumbled something about ‘goddamn coloreds’, and promptly shot himself.”

Jeebus… his legs and fingers are crossed so tightly he looks like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady.

Lascauxcaveman November 17, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Arizona won? Big fat hairy deal, they played the Seahawks. Trophy for participation. Yay.

superdave November 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Who cares about WALNUTS!?! I want more stories about Cindy getting it on with Steven Seagal,

HuskyMescan November 17, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Who’s the old guy that looks he has a Saguaro shoved up his ass? Oh, wait, that’s McCain!

skyinator November 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

“Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” re-release on opposite day!

Mojobert November 17, 2008 at 2:32 pm

They both almost came when the subject went to football. The most fruitless search for conversational common ground since Laura Bush sat down with the Burka Squad.

problemwithcaring November 17, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Aw, see there? They brought up the Bears…

Preconditions ain’t sound so bad now, huh?

Mr Blifil November 17, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Look how McCain’s crossed his legs tight across his nuts, while Obama’s are wide akimbo as if to say, “give my boys some air…”

Alex Trebeks Girl November 17, 2008 at 2:56 pm

McCain is such a sadist! Who does this? OMG lick my boots too while you’re at it.

oldguy November 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Change I could believe in would be NO FLAGS IN THE BACKGROUND. Politicians should only pose with flags they are carrying.

Fear of a Black Reagan November 17, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=178594]Mr Blifil[/re]: Yes. WALNUTS! sits like a fag.

Itsjustme November 17, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Who is this Andy person?

Lindsay (Lindsey) Graham not only has a woman’s name, but he laughs like a damn girl.

East of Sweden November 17, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Why couldn’t they just use the amazing hologram thing? After all it is CNN; they have it. No awkwardness of the big chairs and all the bad chemistry, but a calm and soothing green-screen tent with some remote controlled HD cameras.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 3:13 pm

[re=178594]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s a little known fact that Barack Obama is actually a Nigerian conman whom ‘business rivals’ call “Prince” and Interpol knows as “Legs Akimbo.”

facehead November 17, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Oh I get it, it was an interview with the two guys least likely to have sex with each other.

druranium November 17, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=178484]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: That was sad, wasn’t it?
[re=178678]Itsjustme[/re]: I was wondering what that high pitched twittering noise was…thought WALNUTS! had really lost it, and then Lindsee came into view and the mystery was cleared up. But yes, Walnuts has still really lost everything and seems sad.

sarcasticusername November 17, 2008 at 3:43 pm

walnuts totally wants to reach over and strangle the hope out of him. it’s hilarious seeing all the losers on cable news speculating about walnuts being given the shittiest job available in obama world (because everyone that hopey has ever spoken to is being considered for a job this week), and having their guests try to respond seriously before bursting into laughter about how much these two guys actually hate each other.

Sassette November 17, 2008 at 3:43 pm

What was the point of this meeting again? Because as far as I can tell from the statement that said nothing and this awkward clip… the point was mainly to humiliate John McCain. Which is awesome and all, but hardly necessary at this point. This is one step up from Barry making out with Cindy McCain wearing a Marine Corps. t-shirt.

Lazy Media November 17, 2008 at 3:55 pm

O Hai, McKane. Mai Harbls, Let Me Show U Them.

Man, could Hopey get a little more dominating with the body language? Meanwhile, Walnuts is in a submissive Omega Dog crouch.

MMS November 17, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Love the chairs…those look like they came from one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces.

OKLAHOMAjesus? November 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm

“Yo Andyzzz what up dowg? Yeah yeah, check it” So, since Obama won, his true inner-Lil’ John can finally show.

Jukesgrrl November 17, 2008 at 6:11 pm

“See my man Reggie on your way out and he’ll give you a lollypop … and a dope slap for even showing up here, Douche.”

Toomush Infermashun November 17, 2008 at 6:16 pm

This is what happens when you forget your Depends….

El Topo November 17, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Barry is not the first president to employ the phrase “what’s up.”

In 1863, Abraham “Lincoln Continental” Lincoln famously intoned, “What the fuck’s up with Jefferson Davis and them Democrat playa-hatas and shit?”

TexasCowGirl November 17, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Barry is a cool cruel bastard to humiliate poor old WALNUTS! like this. He’s suffered enough, but Barry just has to keep fucking with him. Everyone knows you are the Once and Future King Barry. Everyone knows that you’re the HNIC. This is totally unnessary.

Damn I love you Barry, you sexy alpha dog beast!

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 9:15 pm

[re=178797]Lazy Media[/re]: McCain knows all about that. He’s military. He knows whose bitch he is now.

AWOcoholic November 17, 2008 at 9:43 pm

1. Walnuts crosses his legs like a 14 year old girl.
2. Why is Lindsey Graham still following him around?
3. Walnuts on Arizona Cardinals QB Warner: “He’s turned out to be quite a performer. There’s hope for all of us.”

jeneane November 18, 2008 at 10:38 am

The reporter doing the intro to this love-fest was obviously left speechless.

GeoMetro November 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm

As far as eye contact goes I’m seeing a major difference from the debates. It’s as if Lindsey Graham told WALNUTS, “Ya know, John…It’s okay if you look directly at Barry; you won’t get pregnant. I promise”.

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