About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  1. shortsshortsshorts

    Walnuts already forgot there even was an election, so he’s just sitting pretty on that Senate seat, waiting to run for President for the “first time” at 76 year’s old.

  2. queeraselvis v 2.0

    WTF with those ginormous chairs? I mean, Barry is at least tall enough to pull his off, but WALNUTS! looks like Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann.

  3. sarahconnor

    For some reason this is conjuring Twin Peaks… Agent Cooper and the dwarf that talks backwards in that wierd room with the red curtain.

  4. Mahousu

    Considering that in days of the Byzantine Empire (aka his youth), McCain would have had his nose cut off, he must feel this is a big improvement.

  5. sezme

    “Andy, great to see you again! And you too, Senator … umm … Andy, help me out with this old man’s name, would ya?”

  6. Anonymous Office Zombie

    NoBama be the most stone cold chillin’ and illin’ president elect in history.

    “Hey guys. ‘Sup Andy. Hey somebody bust me a brew, and get some gin and prune juice for gramps over here.”

  7. Josh Fruhlinger

    The best part is at the end, when McCain can barely keep up the half-assed banter about football. “Yeah, he turned out to be quite a … [uncomfortable long pause] … quite a performer. Oh, God, my life has been a sham.”

  8. NoWireHangers

    Poor WALNUTS!; Barry is just rubbing the cool in his face. He knows he’s an old out of touch loser. He feels uncool. The press loves young, beautiful Barack, and there WALNUTS! sits all old and crusty and more uptight than a pair of well-packed control top pantyhose.

  9. Ted Perino

    Hopey kind of owns the room. If he had a decent bass player and drummer (clearly not les deux awkwards), I halfway expect him to break into some Thelonious Monk. [DNC approved expenditures: shades and a pork pie hat]

  10. Cherry Garcia

    OMG, this is like when two straight guys accidentally touch they start talking about football right away to bridge the awkward silence and prove their manliness. Notice, Lindsay Graham has no NFL-related remarks to contribute.

  11. Fivetree

    If I were Walnuts, I’d be squirming, cross-legged, like an old lady with a full bladder, too if I had to meet face to face with someone I had slandered as a Terrorist-Socialist-Surrender Flag-Wavin’-Bay-killin’-Muslim-Appeaser-Celebrity-Crackhead. You’d think he expects to be pistol-whipped with a jumbo sized can of Whupp Ass once the press leaves. He should be.

  12. charlesdegoal

    A fundamental problem is that upward of 57 million persons would have liked the guy on the left to be their leader. Orlando seems to have beaten Charlotte as well.

  13. bitchincamaro

    Nice body language, guys. Why not just throw up a partition between you, next time? That’s not reach-around we can believe in!

  14. Mara47

    [re=178483]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: gin and prune juice

    That’s what Cindy told him a Purple Nurple is.

  15. freeatlast

    Johnny boy still can’t believe it. He has to explain to a real live negro what all he effed up when he went back to Washington to “fix” the financial crisis… Barack: “John, I’m not suggesting that you apologize. I’m suggesting that you retire…”

  16. darbyogill

    “Immediately following the meeting, John McCain exited the room, mumbled something about ‘goddamn coloreds’, and promptly shot himself.”

    Jeebus… his legs and fingers are crossed so tightly he looks like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady.

  17. Mojobert

    They both almost came when the subject went to football. The most fruitless search for conversational common ground since Laura Bush sat down with the Burka Squad.

  18. Mr Blifil

    Look how McCain’s crossed his legs tight across his nuts, while Obama’s are wide akimbo as if to say, “give my boys some air…”

  19. oldguy

    Change I could believe in would be NO FLAGS IN THE BACKGROUND. Politicians should only pose with flags they are carrying.

  20. Itsjustme

    Who is this Andy person?

    Lindsay (Lindsey) Graham not only has a woman’s name, but he laughs like a damn girl.

  21. East of Sweden

    Why couldn’t they just use the amazing hologram thing? After all it is CNN; they have it. No awkwardness of the big chairs and all the bad chemistry, but a calm and soothing green-screen tent with some remote controlled HD cameras.

  22. AxmxZ

    [re=178594]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s a little known fact that Barack Obama is actually a Nigerian conman whom ‘business rivals’ call “Prince” and Interpol knows as “Legs Akimbo.”

  23. druranium

    [re=178484]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: That was sad, wasn’t it?
    [re=178678]Itsjustme[/re]: I was wondering what that high pitched twittering noise was…thought WALNUTS! had really lost it, and then Lindsee came into view and the mystery was cleared up. But yes, Walnuts has still really lost everything and seems sad.

  24. sarcasticusername

    walnuts totally wants to reach over and strangle the hope out of him. it’s hilarious seeing all the losers on cable news speculating about walnuts being given the shittiest job available in obama world (because everyone that hopey has ever spoken to is being considered for a job this week), and having their guests try to respond seriously before bursting into laughter about how much these two guys actually hate each other.

  25. Sassette

    What was the point of this meeting again? Because as far as I can tell from the statement that said nothing and this awkward clip… the point was mainly to humiliate John McCain. Which is awesome and all, but hardly necessary at this point. This is one step up from Barry making out with Cindy McCain wearing a Marine Corps. t-shirt.

  26. Lazy Media

    O Hai, McKane. Mai Harbls, Let Me Show U Them.

    Man, could Hopey get a little more dominating with the body language? Meanwhile, Walnuts is in a submissive Omega Dog crouch.

  27. OKLAHOMAjesus?

    “Yo Andyzzz what up dowg? Yeah yeah, check it” So, since Obama won, his true inner-Lil’ John can finally show.

  28. Jukesgrrl

    “See my man Reggie on your way out and he’ll give you a lollypop … and a dope slap for even showing up here, Douche.”

  29. El Topo

    Barry is not the first president to employ the phrase “what’s up.”

    In 1863, Abraham “Lincoln Continental” Lincoln famously intoned, “What the fuck’s up with Jefferson Davis and them Democrat playa-hatas and shit?”

  30. TexasCowGirl

    Barry is a cool cruel bastard to humiliate poor old WALNUTS! like this. He’s suffered enough, but Barry just has to keep fucking with him. Everyone knows you are the Once and Future King Barry. Everyone knows that you’re the HNIC. This is totally unnessary.

    Damn I love you Barry, you sexy alpha dog beast!

  31. AxmxZ

    [re=178797]Lazy Media[/re]: McCain knows all about that. He’s military. He knows whose bitch he is now.

  32. AWOcoholic

    1. Walnuts crosses his legs like a 14 year old girl.
    2. Why is Lindsey Graham still following him around?
    3. Walnuts on Arizona Cardinals QB Warner: “He’s turned out to be quite a performer. There’s hope for all of us.”

  33. GeoMetro

    As far as eye contact goes I’m seeing a major difference from the debates. It’s as if Lindsey Graham told WALNUTS, “Ya know, John…It’s okay if you look directly at Barry; you won’t get pregnant. I promise”.

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