• February 8, 2012

Hail to the Chief!60 Minutes is a television show about evil pharmaceutical company executives and child molesters, starring Andy Rooney as a straight-talking curmudgeon who guiltily masturbates to old issues of Life Magazine. In this week’s installment, Steve Kroft interviewed a promising young movie star named Barack Obama about what it will be like playing the nation’s first black President.

This guy, so sensible:

There’s a new book out about FDR’s first 100 days and what you see in FDR that I hope my team can – emulate, is not always getting it right, but projecting a sense of confidence, and a willingness to try things. And experiment in order to get people working again.

And I think that’s what the American people expect. You know, they’re not expecting miracles. I think if you talk to the average person right now that they would say, ‘Well, look, you know well, we’re having a tough time right now. We’ve had tough times before.’ ‘And you know, we don’t expect a new president can snap his fingers and suddenly everything is gonna be okay. But what we do expect is that the guy is gonna be straight with us. We do expect that he’s gonna be working really hard for us.’

(He is probably talking about this book, although he should really check out Traitor to His Class, the new biography by H.W. Brands, except it is 900 pages long. Oh and this one too, this one looks quite good.)

Anyway what other nice things did Barack Obama say in this interview with the gotcha journalist Steve Kroft?

  • “I have said repeatedly that I intend to close Guantanamo, and I will follow through on that. I have said repeatedly that America doesn’t torture. And I’m gonna make sure that we don’t torture. Those are part and parcel of an effort to regain America’s moral stature in the world.”
  • “My interest is finding something that works. And whether it’s coming from FDR or it’s coming from Ronald Reagan, if the idea is right for the times then we’re gonna apply it. And things that don’t work we’re gonna get rid of.”
  • On the $300 billion already spent on the bailout, to little apparent effect: “I think the part of the way to think about it is things could be worse. I mean, we could have seen a lot more bank failures over the last several months. We could have seen an even more rapid deterioration of the economy, even a bigger drop in the stock market. So part of what we have to measure against is what didn’t happen and not just what has happened.”

If this guy wants to sound like a real president, he will have to quit saying “gonna” and “gotta” all the time. Otherwise A plus for this obvious radical Muslim socialist sneaking his way into the White House so that he can tax us for working hard. WE TRIED TO WARN YOU, AMERICA.

Obama 60 Minutes [The Inquisitr]

{ 80 comments }

FMA November 17, 2008 at 10:46 am

Wait a minute. Those FDR books have way too many words. Didn’t one of his kids write a children’s book about him?

The Pumpernickel November 17, 2008 at 10:46 am

All hail Obama. Though I’ve gotta agree, he should say “gotta” less (Do as I say, not as I do).

http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

Aurelio November 17, 2008 at 10:47 am

WE TRIED TO WARN YOU, AMERICA. You did not. You were always in the tank for this Muslin guy and you know it. I hope your bosses in Waziristan are satisfied.

AngryBlakGuy November 17, 2008 at 10:49 am

…Andy Rooney is still alive?

freakishlystrong November 17, 2008 at 10:51 am

Wait a minute, are you saying we’re in for another Kakistocracy?

NoWireHangers November 17, 2008 at 10:51 am

And I think that’s what the American people expect. You know, they’re not expecting miracles.

That’s real rich, St. Barack of Obama. We elected you so you could cure the lepers, not try to cure the lepers.

magic titty November 17, 2008 at 10:51 am

Wait, we’re critiquing Barry’s “easyspeak” after 8 years of awkward smirks and monosyllabic grunts?

ManchuCandidate November 17, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=178151]NoWireHangers[/re]:
Do, or do not, there is no try.

MarieDeGournay November 17, 2008 at 10:54 am

He’s so dreamy!

ihasasad November 17, 2008 at 10:55 am

Thank you for pointin out the droppin of the ‘g’s

Also,he needs to get those Palin speeches off his ipod, you betcha.

Blue Line November 17, 2008 at 10:56 am

I vote “look” as the word he needs to stop saying so damn much.

Texan Bulldoggette November 17, 2008 at 10:57 am

Michelle needs to lay off the eyebrow waxing–she’s starting to look Cruella deVille-ish.

PrairiePossum November 17, 2008 at 10:59 am

I hope he tries that water to wine miracle. Eight years of a dry presidency has ruined our country.

ihasasad November 17, 2008 at 10:59 am

[re=178152]magic titty[/re]: It’s a hard habit to break [Chicago] la la la

Alex Trebeks Girl November 17, 2008 at 11:00 am

Wait, so he is not a magician? No spells to cure AIDS and sub-prime mortgages? Whoops. Sarah Palin’s vagina is magic though…maybe her legs could have cured America’s problems? We will never know!

Aurelio November 17, 2008 at 11:00 am

[re=178154]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Try or not try, there is no do.–Chrysippus, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius.

Aurelio November 17, 2008 at 11:02 am

[re=178157]Blue Line[/re]: He also HAS to stop saying “Y’know.”

4tehlulz November 17, 2008 at 11:02 am

>>But what we do expect is that the guy is gonna be straight with us.

OBAMA THINKS AMERICANS ALL HAET THE GAYZ*
WHY DOES OBAMA THINK SO LITTLE OF US?

*objectively true in Utah and California..

charlesdegoal November 17, 2008 at 11:06 am

If America is to regain its stature, it’s got to invade France and get rid of the Nasties. Or else invent the Hula Hoop again.

ella November 17, 2008 at 11:07 am

Almost an hour’s wait for the important stuff: the puppy update.

Chairman Miao November 17, 2008 at 11:09 am

You know, it’s every other sentence beginning with “You know” that’s distracting me. But then I could listen to Mr Presidelect[able] say you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know with That Voice 4EVER.

sati demise November 17, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=178160]PrairiePossum[/re]: Exactly. Bring on the micro-brew, too.

Bypartizoa November 17, 2008 at 11:11 am

I, for one, welcome our photogenic, biracial overlord.

anabellum November 17, 2008 at 11:11 am

its Monday morning, i’m hung over, and America’s post election rush to rationality is irritating me to no end… …

i need more kool-aid…

and maybe a couple of Advil……

WikipediaBrown November 17, 2008 at 11:13 am

Gonna and gotta are fine. At least there are no You betchas or Doggone its.

psychedelicSludge November 17, 2008 at 11:13 am

My interest is finding something that works. And whether it’s coming from the Marquis de Sade or it’s coming from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, if the idea is right for the times then we’re gonna apply it. And things that don’t work we’re gonna get rid of.

monty November 17, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=178172]ella[/re]: hes gonna welch on the puppy deal, i can smell it.[re=178166]4tehlulz[/re]: as far as hating teh gheyz goes, i thought the muslin gheyz were the ones that elected him. Its a little soon to be hatin on teh gheyz. isnt it?

Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov) November 17, 2008 at 11:20 am

HA!

He didn’t WINK once! also

-SP

CrunchyKnee November 17, 2008 at 11:20 am

Clearly Barry’s pirate suite eye-patch over his RIGHT EYE, shows that even as a child he was blind to the right and their viewpoints. Why does young Barry wearing a pirate suite at his Madrassa hate center-right america so much?

Servo November 17, 2008 at 11:21 am

That’s for me to know and for you to find out, Steve.

gjdodger November 17, 2008 at 11:24 am

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s not so much the words he uses, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaas it is his peculiar inflections aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand his tendency to drag out connecting words.

Mustang November 17, 2008 at 11:24 am

That little family is so cute, I don’t want them leaving the White House lest they get hurt. Maybe they need to just all hunker down in Dick Cheese’s panic room whereever it is in the bowels of the White House because I’m worried about them and the new puppy.

Bypartizoa November 17, 2008 at 11:25 am

He should get a couple of rottweilers. That’ll scare the shit out of white America.

TGY November 17, 2008 at 11:29 am

I shall sleep easy in somebody else’s bed knowing that Barry is out there fighting for the Gipper or whatever.

Also, I shall give him a pass on the ‘gotta’. If plain speaking was good enough for Abe Lincoln, it’s good enough for me. We don’t want a president sounding like Peggy Noonan, do we? Didn’t think so.

Servo November 17, 2008 at 11:31 am

[re=178189]Bypartizoa[/re]:
Irish Wolfhounds with slight dementia.

qwerty42 November 17, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=178171]charlesdegoal[/re]: I thought the idea was to send the US army to France where they got to drink wine and shoot at Germans. Heck, worked before. Maybe this time we send civil war re-enactors. so they don’t attack a tour bus from Aachen or something.

gjdodger November 17, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=178188]Mustang[/re]: The interesting thing about their “little” family is he’s about 6’3″, and she’s damn close to it; her brother is a basketball coach. Those darling little children will be able to slam dunk by the time they’re 14.

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 11:33 am

Shit, now there’s a Wonkette reading list?
Hey I didn’t sign up for creating informed comments.

Aurelio November 17, 2008 at 11:40 am

[re=178176]Bypartizoa[/re]: Every once in a while, we get a good king. Just like the Middle Ages.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

[re=178156]ihasasad[/re]: I noticed that 44 always includes an apostrophe when G-droppin’.

Terry November 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

[re=178158]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

Start to worry if they get a dalmatian puppy.

Nora-charles November 17, 2008 at 11:45 am

“I, for one, welcome our photogenic, biracial overlord.”

I’m making this into a button.

d4g33z November 17, 2008 at 11:46 am

Didn’t he say he was gonna abolish college football programs across the country?

Not_So_Much November 17, 2008 at 11:50 am

[re=178148]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: No. Animatronic Andy only.

qwerty42 November 17, 2008 at 11:51 am

I assume everyone is as concerned as I am that our new president seems to have full, sometimes complex, thoughts and is able to enunciate them in a clear and even logical manner. What will what’s left of our friends and allies think?

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 11:57 am

No “gonna,” no “gotta,” no “you know” – you guys want him to have a Midwestectomy or something?

Mustang November 17, 2008 at 11:58 am

[re=178202]gjdodger[/re]: As I understand it, Barack is 6′ 1″ and 1/2 and Michelle is 5′ 11″. I guess it’s okay if the girls go play on the new basketball court, as long as they don’t leave the premises.

Miller November 17, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Motherfucker forgot to mention Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals. That’s a mandatory book mention for everyone these days. Her lawyers are gonna fuck him up soooo bad.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Godot November 17, 2008 at 12:01 pm

[re=178178]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Exactly. Obama’s casual words like “gonna” and “gotta” are good because they speed up the conversation. Whereas Palin’s interjections and folksy phrases, also, slow down the conversation by wasting time on words that mean nothing.

WadISay November 17, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Great, and now America is going to have to start using words like “emulate”, as in, Sheeyat, the only thing my new Dodge Ram emulates about my old F-150 is the fukkin’ trucknutz.”

natteringnaybob November 17, 2008 at 12:05 pm

[re=178178]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Not to mention “My friends.”

WadISay November 17, 2008 at 12:05 pm

[re=178184]CrunchyKnee[/re]: At least the SS code name Renegade now makes a little more sense.

thefrontpage November 17, 2008 at 12:06 pm

We just got back from a long trip overseas.

Did Ross Perot win the race for president? Is Madelaine Albright still Secretary of State? What’s this “google” thing everyone’s talking about? And why is everybody suddenly talking to themselves on the streets and in supermarkets?

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:12 pm

Obama’s a magic god (or maybe a Wizard !) who’s gonna make it all better – like a day on Waikiki, circa 1952 only with Internet porn, Google Earth and better pot. Soon he and his magical family ( two of whom are fairies) will move into the castle, throw the Grand Vizer into the dungeon and unicorns will dance on the White House lawn.

Godot November 17, 2008 at 12:13 pm

I hope Obama does tax people for working hard, because I am seriously the laziest motherfucker you will ever meet. About time you overachieving assholes got taken down a peg.

Hooray For Anything November 17, 2008 at 12:14 pm

[re=178187]gjdodger[/re]: I have no problems with all of that because it comes off like Barry’s actually thinking. It just sounds weird because we’re not used to hearing a President who can think.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 12:16 pm

You can catch up by picking up just about any broadsheet or pamphlet at your local grogshop.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:17 pm

I hope they re-decorate the Oval office in purple plush, leopard print and a disco ball.

I asked my husband if he thought they had a black maid but he said “Hell no! They have a Mexican, like everybody else.”

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 12:19 pm

[re=178267]thefrontpage[/re]: Also, you may want to modify your commenter name; perhaps “thehomepage”?

messickc (ROLL TIDE!) November 17, 2008 at 12:22 pm

[re=178217]d4g33z[/re]: OH NOES!! Just when my team is doing so well!!!

If he’d had run on the platform of creating a CFB playoff system, the State of Alabama surely would have gone blue… Especially the Auburn vote.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 12:24 pm

[re=178288]IonaTrailer[/re]: They should hire a translucent-blond Swedish maid and forbid her by Presidential edict to appear on the streets without an apron.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 12:26 pm

[re=178303]AxmxZ[/re]: I hear that Russian gal from Hot For Words is being considered for in-house lexicographer.

hedgehog November 17, 2008 at 12:27 pm

If Steve Kroft threw Obama any more softballs, they would both turn lesbian.

sezme November 17, 2008 at 12:31 pm

I don’t know… It’s hard to project a sense of confidence when you freely admit that you’re “not always getting it right”. Perhaps he means confidence in his administration’s incompetence – a legacy from George W Bush.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:34 pm

AxmxZ: “Hail to the Chief” played Jimmie Hendricks style with wacka-ja-wacka guitar.

“Foxy Brown” as the head of Secret Service

Mustang November 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Remember about a hundred years ago when they tried to fire Andy Rooney because he was 100 years old and had run out of ideas? They had a vote among the viewers, and he got to stay. Now we’re stuck with him until he dies.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm

“He should get a couple of rottweilers. That’ll scare the shit out of white America.”

Dare we say, pit-bulls ? Or is that in too Michael Vicks poor taste?

murality November 17, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Well, if it’s this old issue of life I don’t blame Andy one bit sophialorenlife

myheadsexploding November 17, 2008 at 12:40 pm

I will trade Frat Boy’s noo-kyou-lar for Hopey’s gonna aaaaaaaaaaaand any day of the week.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:40 pm

Wait until his African family shows up from Kenya for the inauguration.
White people’s heads be exploding with all them dashiki wearing mothafuckas.

I seriously hope he gets all ethnic and shit.

heroinmule November 17, 2008 at 12:45 pm

Plebs don’t trust politians that say “going to” and “got to.” It means you’re a fag.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 12:53 pm

Or a Prime Minister

lawrenceofthedesert November 17, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Hey, it’s Mickey Rooney playing Andy Hardy; you tweeters can’t just compress it into Andy Rooney because you’re in a meth-induced hurry…

Was that the longest necktie in 60 Minutes interview history? It came out the bottom of his jacket, went down the hall and out for the walk he said he missed.

Mr. O. sure does talk good, however, and trust me, his Chicagoese is practically non-existent. I mean, say der, pal, “Obama” — whad izdat?

blinky_twinkie November 17, 2008 at 1:10 pm

I saw Bible Spice on Wolf Blitzer’s Chatty Bitch-Slap Situation Word Last Call Recovery Room yesterday morning and then Himself on “60 M” last night, and the difference was just *staggering*. Palin didn’t answer a single question, and Obama answered all of them. And that was just the first biggest difference between their ways of communicating that I noticed.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

[re=178318]IonaTrailer[/re]: Barackstar in da house.

sarahconnor November 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=178187]gjdodger[/re]: And he alssso dragsss out the s’sssss, preciousssssss. sssstill, we lovesssss him, he’sssss oursssss.

Dreamer November 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=178157]Blue Line[/re]: His whole team needs to stop saying “look” (Axelrod, Gibbs, et all) – I think it was part of their training (how to takeover America in 24 months). They all use it to mesmerize us. It worked for them so far so why stop now. I like Hopey speak – he had me at “understand this

sarcasticusername November 17, 2008 at 4:07 pm

hopey is going to be the most chill president ever, how is it possible to sound that cool & sane when your day job is now basically to save the world from impending doom? george always sounds not just stupid but oddly jittery when he was forced to pretend he’s thinking and working and all that shit. barry spends all his time babbling on about hope & nonsense, yet he’s not the one that comes off looking batshit crazy.
oh and michelle’s vajajay must be some kind of magic to hypnotize a man into to sounding so excited at the thought his mother in law moving in with them. the way those two were carrying on, my man reggie is going to be awfully busy in his new role chief doorman to the oval office.

El Topo November 17, 2008 at 7:36 pm

I am apparently getting free DSL right now (they’ve cut off my phone, but not my internets powers). That is a good sign for the economy because it makes me feel less poor.

I just thought you all should know that. Therefore, the end.

BaxterJones November 18, 2008 at 3:24 pm

I love how smart he sounds. What a refreshing change.
http://www.entertonement.com/collections/7610/Barack-Post-Election-Comments-1

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