Wonkette
New York Times Grand Inquisitor Deborah Solomon has her way with Karl Rove this week, and naturally the interview concludes with Rove in hysterics and offering to send Solomon a transcription of all the ways that she hurt him, irrecoverably. “You’re the one who hurt my feelings by saying you didn’t trust me,” Rove said, exemplifying the bizarre lows into which the interview delves.
Before that, she asks him, hypothetically, if he has any words of advice for Bush. Rove, a twelve year old girl, responds that he’s better friends with Bush than Solomon is, and if he wanted to say something to him he just would, okay, he doesn’t need her to act like their friendship has anything to do with her.
The most revealing admission by Rove is a throwaway line in which he displays an almost maternal instinct to conceal details about his dumb stamp collection, which no one cared about in the first place until he brought it up out of nowhere. Observe:
Are you going to send [Obama] a little note congratulating him?
I already have. I sent it to his office. I sent him a handwritten note with funny stamps on the outside.What kind of funny stamps?
Stamps.
It should be noted that this isn’t the first time Karl Rove’s filthy stamp fetish has announced itself unto the world. In a 2006 Vanity Fair profile, Todd Purdam reported that a letter sent by Rove was “plastered with a hodgepodge of vintage stamps from his collection, including an eight-center with a stylized image of a bobsled, commemorating the Sapporo Olympics, in 1972.”
What is wrong with this deviant?
Questions for Karl Rove [New York Times]
Karl Rove’s Split Personality [Vanity Fair]
What kind of funny stamps?
Stamps.
They are, obviously, kneeslappers.
Why the hell did anyone ever think this guy was smart, again?
Rove only craves love…..and we’re just unfeeling bastards who don’t understand him. All he wants is our love and helpless kittens to torture and maim.
Wow. I’ve had friendlier conversations with the cashier at the impound lot.
Wow, having read it now, it is hilariously delusional. There isn’t an honest response in it. I bet the stamps are the most unfunny stamps on the face of the Earth. I bet they feature historic tragedies and dead kittens.
Rove and Obama shared Ken Mehlman? Am I reading this right?
If I were a Democratic politician and received an envelope showing Karl Rove as sender, I might die of fright.
Gopherit: “…and helpless kittens to torture and maim.” And maybe Don Siegelman imprisoned in the Chateau d’If. Is that so much to ask?
I can’t decide which is my favorite part. It’s like a box of Godiva chocolates!
Do you have any advice for him at this point?
With all due respect, I don’t need you to transmit what I want to say to my friend of 35 years.
Someone’s throwing a very public temper tantrum …
Rove’s a bottom, right? I mean, not just a bottom, a bottom’s bottom.
Karl was too embarrassed to admit the “funny” stamps were from the post office’s “Famous American Body Modificationists” series.
Oh, my heart, it bleeds for you, Turdblossom. No one understands you.
The interview reads like a mom interrogating her petulant 6 year old.
My mucilage melts like butter on a biscuit when I hear talk of Rovie lickins!
These are the “funny” stamps he was talking about:
http://lashawnbarber.com/images/story.stamp2.ap.jpg
But what about your great dream of creating a permanent Republican governing majority in Washington?
I never said permanent. Durable.
Oh, sorry, our mistake! So, uh, how’s that going?
Didn’t Karl predict the election about 80% of the accuracy of Nate Silver? Nate, start planting the seeds now for future presidents you can puppeteer. I think the former Actress/Model/Whatever) is the preferred type. Therefore the kid from Home Alone, you know the drunk pothead is probably the right one.
What kind of stamps did the anthrax envelopes have? call the po-lice.
SayItWithWookies: Oh wookies…. You fucking make me laugh and laugh and laugh….
Your snarking abilities are refined enough that I dare say you’re elite.
Wow, he’s been hanging around with Gore Vidal.
He was not not licking stamps…
Do you think you’re negative?
No.
Awesome.
He won by “conducting a vast army of persuasion to identify and get out the vote”: that sentence is practically Palin-esque.
Tra: My personal favorites are the succinct one word answers he gave. “Are the age of negative politics over?” -No.
“Do you regret anything that happened while you were in the White House?” -Yes.
If these were SAT essay questions I would advise him to start thinking about a good vocational school.
Good gord. Trying to send a message via the stamps one puts on an envelope is an even smaller and more pathetically self-aggrandizing gesture than, uh, posting a comment on a blog.
To quote that heavyweight medium on the old Psychic Hotline commercial: “What happened to you when you were seven, darlin’?”
facehead: You know you are right.
So far, none of you have said he can eat a bag of dicks.
charlesdegoal: That jumped out at me, too. Clearly his language is deceptive on this point, as surely Karl would’ve been the pig in that spit roast. Squeal like a pig, Turd Blossom!
He can dick a bag of stamps.
And probably has.
Right before he licks them and sends them to his frenemies.
It’s heartwarming Mr. Rover will personally keep passive-aggressiveness alive well into the 21st century.
Obama children: pleeze 2 name noo puppy Rove!!!!1!
Have you met Barack Obama?
Yes, I know him. He was a member of the Senate while I was at the White House and we shared a mutual friend, Ken Mehlman, his law-school classmate. When Obama came to the White House, we would talk about our mutual friend.
========
karl really knows ken mehlovesmen!
this stamp thing is my new favorite thing about Rove, but I am hesitant to trust it because Solomon is notoriously unreliable.
It must be hard to be interviewed wearing a diaper and a bonnet while sucking on a pacifier.
DoctorCulturae: I thought they should name that dog after Gumby’s dog in the early episodes: “Nopey.”
But I like “Rove” a lot better.
Karl,
Lee Atwater is calling you closer to light, your gay step dad too.
You almost ruined this country you prick.
Karl loves to “poke fun” at those he is in the process of destroying, but he acts like my cry baby little brother when you so much as make a scruntchy face at him. He is a delicate lad, Karl. Only God can see when Karl weeps, and then God laughs. And Karl can see God laugh, cuz those stamps he is salivating all over are actually pure LSD Blotter papers.
Would have been a better interview if she had just shot him in the back of the head.
Twice.
Just saying.
He couldn’t've come off more as a douchebag if he had responded to every question by saying, “I’m a douchebag.”
At least he has his religion and his guns to cling to.
Unlike most people I do not think Rove should be disemboweled alive. Let him live and collect stamps. Yes, let him be a stamp collector for all time.
Neilist:
You speak the truth.
See you in hell, KKKarl.
i am sufficiently DUMBERRR after reading that interview. What a fucking loser.
mpslim: “he acts like my cry baby little brother when you so much as make a scruntchy face at him”
Welcome to Republicans, Young and old.
I don’t believe much of this interview or anything else Deborah Solomon writes. She’s known for asking a question, then editing the answer to really fit her POV. It’s not a simple Q and A. I haven’t read her for the past two years and won’t bother reading this. I hate Rove as much as the next person (including his wife and kids) but this interview is “cooked” and is probably less than true.
I bet that fucker has the elusive, “Hawaiian Blue” stamp. Somebody sick Carson Dyle on his ass!
SayItWithWookies: …I had a friendlier conversation with the cop that busted me for my DUI! But I digress…
Lazy Media: …yeah, we are talking a “ankles behind his ear” type of bottom!
…good things he is practicing the whole stamp licking thing, its gonna come in handy when he is licking “Adebisi’s” balls for a pack of Marlboro’s in prison!
AngryBlakGuy: such horrible nightmares I will have tonight
“…and we shared a mutual friend…”
that sounds dirty!
smellyal8r: oh its cooked alright…but to the point where all thats left are ashes…
i think the piece is brilliant…
“licking stamps” a republican phrase for masturbating excessively to Ann coulter interviews and news articles.
Used in a sentence:
“After Ann Coulter’s apperance on Fox News, I was licking stamps all night”
AngryBlakGuy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=077UtUWGQOA
Deepthroat: …sorry, I’m on my third vodka/tonic and I’m feeling particularly vulgar!
Marvelous! I’d almost forgotten how much better everything is now that Saddam’s gone. Good catch, Karl.
Man, they should have left him alive so McCain could blame the whole sub-prime mortgage, financial meltdown, credit crunch thing on him.
facehead: …I guess my girlfriend can look forward to ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NO WAY IN HELL cunnilingus! I will let her know it is your fault!
I see from the photo that Rove still hasn’t got that Nazi salute down yet.
DS: “Karl, do you think you’ll enjoy your time in prison?”
KR: “Haven’t you heard. There have been prisons for centuries.”
smellyal8r: You can’t be serious. She’s a journalist.
Rove-Mehlman-Obama: mutual friends.
If true, this our Union shall not survive.
Good bye, Karl.Please remember the honorable way out that Goering took.
Asshole sounds like Chauncey Gardiner with a mean streak.
Cape Clod: Bye, bye, Mister American Pie. You took the levees and the levees were dry. This is the way that you die.
In this era of follow-up in the blogosphere, maybe [just maybe} RoveCrap is dead. But it didn’t catch the Eisenstadt faux report about Palin’s alleged statement that Africa was a country, did it? More skepticism and datamining please.
I sent him a handwritten note with funny stamps on the outside.
crying. I love it. he sounds like a five year-old.
Rove is a sick fuck and I heard he smells like Miracle Whip.
Rove is back on the playground, getting beat up by normal people again…or maybe he never really left the playground in the first place; I mean, the guy idolizes a jackass who nicknamed him “turdblossom”. How pathetic is that?
facehead: whoa, and that was a lot more information than I ever needed; and no more of the special caesar salads at the table when the waiter asks if I’d like him to toss my salad for me…you know what I mean? Have to punch the waiter…let him know that I ain’t that way, you know? I ain’t no bitch, and all…so anyway…a lot of information…
What kind of funny stamps?
Stamps
I can’t help but think of Raising Arizona. Some people consider the American flag to be uproariously funny.
facehead: you are a bad bad bad bad bad person for that link. i have to go toss my cookies now. And I will not be putting jelly on anything for a verrrrry long time. Sweet Christ Alive, wtf, man, W T F?
There is a name for people like Karl Rove - Sociopath. I wonder what happened in his childhood to make him the monster he is today?
Please, Karl Rove, go crawl up in a bed of twinkies and deceased infant souls and gorge yourself on misery for all eternity. Oh, and please die too.
O.K., so Barry will get the congratulatory note with the funny stamps. I want to see those stamps.
Nice stamp ya got there, Turdblossom.
proudcitizen says: I wonder what happened in his childhood to make him the monster he is today?
Stamp collecting is torture.
TGY: I thought of that too.
Do they come in funny shapes?
Nope. Unless square’s funny.
Do you think he used that website where you can make your own stamps from your own pictures? The mind reels…..
You’ve all clearly missed the real story here. The “funny stamps” in question have pictures of dead badgers and the legends “We Await Silent Trystero’s Empire” and “Don’t Ever Antagonize the Horn”. They are canceled with an image of a muted trumpet.
And you call yourselves cognoscenti.
MrsNateSilver: you have to go “toss your cookies” oooo … tell me more …. tell me more ….
But did he use the sparkly glitter pen and dot his “i”s with little hearts?
I can see Karl now, in a few short years–living in the garage apartment of a relative, sitting nex to plywood on sawhorses covered with stamps he’s ordered from a comic book ad, sorting them incessantly…. “Whaddyawant, ya limousine liberal who can’t seem to pick up his papers?!? You know who I am?!? Get out of my house!” Crazy as a loon and well forgotten.
Well I can dream can’t I?
How adorable. Even after getting thrown under the bus when it was ultimately convenient for Dubya, Turdblossom is still reliably in the bag for his man-crush. Jesus, Karl, go meet some girls, already.
Anonymous Office Zombie: No one understands Karl? Not even Jeff Gannon?
that makes sense if by “funny” he means “weird.”
Karl is the new Bitter. I picture him in the near future being found under the desk of George Michael with way too much lipstick for his complexion. A few days after the story hits the news Turdblossom commits suicide by anally masturbating with a lit stick of dynamite.
Mark my words, this thread will not end until someone posts tramp stamp joke. All this talent in the room, who will it be? C’mon! Bring it on!
THE tramp stamp joke.
Those aren’t the funny stamps with the anthrax glue, are they?
AngryBlakGuy: Love the Oz reference!
(I’ll never get Schillinger out of my head, though.)
Note to Karl: The SS insignia is not what most people would call a funny stamp.
Wow, what a charming chap. He must be a wow at lizard reunions.
bonsai pajamas: Why do you think they call him Turdblossom?
They’re TruckNutz stamps…yes, he licks the front.
I can’t look at TruckNutz without seeing Rudy NineEleven’s chin behind them.
I have a joke complete with graphic visuals about Rove licking Ted Stevens’
Goin’ Off To Prison, Limit Two Riders tramp stamp, but the shimp forks I
plunged into my eyes are making it hard to see the keyboard…
must…go…now…
What a dickbag. Is he like this because he’s fat and ugly? It’s gotta be that.