• February 15, 2012

Last night we began hearing that Hillary Clinton was under serious consideration to be Barack Obama’s Secretary of State, and that she flew to Chicago to meet with him about possibilities. This being Hillary Clinton, we of course are now engulfed in a wave of rumors, leaks, trial balloons, anonymous sources… Drama. It is how the Clintons, or any stories remotely involving them, tend to roll out. Let’s see what the latest gossip’s telling us about old Hillary. It ranges anywhere from Ronald Reagan retroactively appointing her to be assistant manager at a Baskin Robbins in Utah to her going on food stamps to her having sex with Monica Lewinsky and Vince Foster on a pile of moon rocks, for Obama.

HuffPo goes all in!

President-elect Barack Obama offered Sen. Hillary Clinton the position of Secretary of State during their meeting Thursday in Chicago, according to two senior Democratic officials. She requested time to consider the offer, the officials said.

This is one monstrous trial balloon we have here, kids! Yes, we have reservations. The “two senior Democratic officials” are probably Bill Clinton and his slob brother, Roger. It would be in Hillary’s best interest — which Bill has always understood better than her, see — to make it appear as though she would be the one turning down a job that may not ever be offered to her. She needs some “time to consider the offer” because she doesn’t need to rush anything for anyone — not even the President! Or maybe it is true. We just know that when “two senior Democratic officials” have been the source for a scoop this election, the scoop is really that the reporter got played.

Politico, you guys must be all over this, right? Oh yes, yes you are:

A person close to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton says she would seriously consider serving as Secretary of State if an offer was made — adding, “I wouldn’t bet against” her accepting a cabinet invitation.

Clinton, the person said, had been hearing rumors about the State Department job for about a week, but didn’t take it seriously — until Obama’s transition team initiated serious discussions in the last day or two.

“She didn’t ask for it,” added the source. “It was all from their side.”

So here we have no offer being made, but that it could be made and — according to “a person close to Hillary Rodham Clinton,” which is perhaps the biggest red flag we’ve ever read — Hillary may or may not take it, because she’s so cool and above “all that.” Hillary don’t need no dumb diplomat poop job! It’s just that that kiddie-president keeps stalking her about it, and it’s really creepy, so she might have to take it for safety reasons.

Officials: Obama Offered Clinton Secretary Of State [HuffPo]
Clinton ‘serious’ about SoS [Ben Smith]

{ 97 comments }

magic titty November 14, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Haha. He’s making her his secretary. I love Sexist Barry.

nurple November 14, 2008 at 5:02 pm

It’ll never happen. The polity clamors for Eagleburger.

iwillsavethispatient November 14, 2008 at 5:03 pm

What she’s considering: how far along is Sec. of State in the line of succession.

choinski November 14, 2008 at 5:03 pm

If she does, it would be number #126 of the number of creepy parallels between this election and the 2006 election depicted on “The West Wing”, where President Elect Santos hires his political rival to Secretary Of State

lenorecutie November 14, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Last I heard, the two weren’t exactly on friendly speaking terms. I think I’m going to file this under “Palin thinks Africa is a country” right now until I hear more convincing evidence.

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

So has Huma Abedin been offered the undersecretary position?

Styrofoam Boots November 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Go Hillary!!!! It’s her turn to be blown in the White House!

sarahconnor November 14, 2008 at 5:08 pm

ha ha, more sniper fire for her to dodge.

Maus November 14, 2008 at 5:09 pm

[re=177557]magic titty[/re]: HE IS RAPING HER AGAIN!!!!!

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 14, 2008 at 5:09 pm

[re=177559]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: True dat. Plus, Barry knows that SoS is far enough away from Job 1 that he and Biden will be safe during the first 100 days.

Borat November 14, 2008 at 5:10 pm

If Hillz becomes secretary, then she’s out of the country most of the time right?

Billz has da freedomz. You know you’re not married when your partner is out the country, or something like that. Once again, Billz comes out on top

Rush November 14, 2008 at 5:10 pm

I hear that blue dresses are in this time of year in Bosnia

togakangaroo November 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm

All Hillary-hating aside this is awesome, it plays to her back-scenes skills and her passion for reforming the domestic systems she really cares about.

Plus it doesn’t hurt that back in April I predicted this exact same configuration officially making me along with Nate Silver right about everything.

S.Luggo November 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm

The offer should be viewed as an economy measure. Secretary of State and possible WW3 vs. paying off Hilz campaign debt.

Kev-O-Tron November 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm

It figures that a sexist pig like Obama would want to make her his secretary. I bet he asks her to iron his shirts too.

Larry Fine November 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm

It would be great for Bill Clinton if she takes the job, because Hillary will be traveling a lot and he will be free to be able to get a lot of sexy time action with all the porkers he wants.

obamaslamma November 14, 2008 at 5:13 pm

how about Ayers for Homeland Security?

liberaltruthsayer November 14, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Gawd. We really need a diplomat in the SOS job. Bill Richardson should do quite nicely. Come on Hopey!

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 14, 2008 at 5:14 pm

[re=177576]gmauer@gmail.com[/re]: Yes, but do you get laid as much as Nate? Do ya, huh?

4tehlulz November 14, 2008 at 5:17 pm

What happened? Did Hillary carve a backwards B into her face to get Barry’s attention?

jagorev November 14, 2008 at 5:18 pm

And he’s meeting with McCain tomorrow. I think I get Hopey’s plan – neutralize all potential political enemies by putting them in his cabinet. In four years, there’ll be no one left to run against him for President.

sarahconnor November 14, 2008 at 5:18 pm

[re=177570]Maus[/re]: is that kind of talk necessary?

The Cold Sea November 14, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Secretary of State. Blah, blah, blah. I’d rather watch Jammacain fling poo at the wall. I want news about puppies. What the hell is the big deal about a secretary anyhow. We know she can make coffee. She’s a woman. Hello!

Mustang November 14, 2008 at 5:26 pm

My Moveon-o-tron friend has been saying since before the election, “Don’t you think Hilary would be a great Secretary of State?’ And I keep saying, “Where is this coming from?”

shortsshortsshorts November 14, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Sinbad will accompany her on every trip as an adviser.

qwerty42 November 14, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Obama’s group is incredibly tight-lipped and this bomb shows up? Uh ….
Nothing against Hillz, but I don’t see her leaving the Senate anytime soon (no, not for a run in 2012, Andrew Sullivan’s paranoia notwithstanding). Geeze. Now I have to plant a victory garden or whatever we’ll call them in the New Depression.

Neilist November 14, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Why the &^%#$ would Hillary want to be SoS? That makes no sense whatsoever.

Rush November 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Hope they let her bring along an extra pair of trucknutz when meeting Putin

Titonwan November 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Hell yeah, to the citizens “a war in every garage and a skirmish in every pot!”. Let’s just fire all our missiles at once and REALLY show em! Aim a couple at the moon. That crazy lunar sumbitch makes the womenfolk a mite touchy anyways. Give lil Chelsea a job pushing the buttons, since her hedgefunding fell on a dull knife. The Aristocrats are coming back!

stolichnayaaa November 14, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Which state? New York?

The Cold Sea November 14, 2008 at 5:33 pm

[re=177609]Neilist[/re]: Kind of hard to run in the primaries in 2012 if you’re in the cabinet with the sitting preznit. You gotta think like a Chicago street thug like Barry and his Rezkos.

Monsieur Grumpe November 14, 2008 at 5:34 pm

I don’t think she should take the position. With the extraordinarily fabulous job that Condi has been doing, Hillary would just look bad in comparison unless she actually did something… anything.

tunamelt November 14, 2008 at 5:34 pm

[re=177603]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: God, remember when he was a part of the campaign news cycle? This really was the longest election ever.

obfuscator November 14, 2008 at 5:35 pm

She’s probably agreeing to take his stupid old SoS job if he also agrees to pay off her outstanding campaign debt + interest. Also, she’s demanding a golden ticket so as to facilitate a tour of an abandoned chocolate factory.

Constitutional Riots November 14, 2008 at 5:36 pm

CNN just aired the real “breaking news”, confirming that Barry offered Mrs. Clinton the SOS position. Her consideration of this conundrum must be agony for her as she plays hard to get. “It’s her’s if she wants it”, Gloria B. just said.

(This is my first comment since the big win. My doc told me yesterday that I have fuckin’ pneumonia.)

Fear of a Black Reagan November 14, 2008 at 5:42 pm

“Team of Rivals”???? More like “TEAM OF WEASELS”!!!!!!

jagorev November 14, 2008 at 5:43 pm

[re=177625]Constitutional Riots[/re]: Is fucking pneumonia worse than regular pneumonia? Did you get it during the mandatory post-election orgies? Get better!

facehead November 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm

I’ll believe it until Drudge confirms it.

S.Luggo November 14, 2008 at 5:46 pm

[re=177609]Neilist[/re]: She’ll get to visit the Sarajevo airport again to run through a hail of bullets. Good times, good times.

TeddyS November 14, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Okay. She may be light on experience, wink, but she can be SOS for a while. Keep her busy until the second Supreme Court opening comes along. First one goes to Bill. Rush and Sean will be oh so happy, you betcha’.

hobospacejungle November 14, 2008 at 5:54 pm

[re=177625]Constitutional Riots[/re]: I hope you don’t also have the Boogie-Woogie Flu.

Upon re-reading, sorry, you have “fuckin’ pneumonia,” not “rockin’ pneumonia.” My bad.

Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

obfuscator November 14, 2008 at 5:55 pm

If Hillz is slow-rolling Barry with her reponse, I hope he offers the job to McCain this weekend as a goof, then turns around and gives it to that Cook County sheriff who refused to evict renters from their homes.

facehead November 14, 2008 at 5:55 pm

[re=177625]Constitutional Riots[/re]: I’m as sick as a young dog (A PUPPY! GET IT!!!) too.

But seriously folks, from the standpoint of prestige, is secretary of state “better” than being a senator from New York (keep in mind we are talking about New York, not some dipshit state like California).

P.S. LEGALIZE CRYSTAL PEPSI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Entitynein November 14, 2008 at 5:56 pm

[re=177582]obamaslamma[/re]: I’m still waiting for the appointment of Tony Rezko as the head of Housing and Urban Development. That’ll signal a giant “Fuck all’a y’all” to the Freepers.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=177601]Mustang[/re]: You should be answering back with, “No, but I think she would make a darn good junior senator from New York.”

That’s what’s crazy about this whole rumor. Why would Barry want her anywhere else but the New York senate seat?

El Topo November 14, 2008 at 5:58 pm

All of this cabinet conjecture is merely a smokescreen which will buy Obama some time as he finalizes plans to appoint Bill Ayers as Secretary of the Permanent Violent Marxist People’s Revolution.

lotusflwr November 14, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Secy. of State is going to need a much, much, MUCH heavier hitter than Bill’s better half. I’m hoping that the sheer rampant-ness of these rumors are due to it being utter nonsense, else I shall be terribly disappointed in our beloved Unicorn.

Hooray For Anything November 14, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Considering how Obama’s staff is known for not leaking things and things are being leaked, my theory is that they’re just throwing names out there to confuse everybody and to throw enough bones at the media nobody knows what they really want to do. Why? Because this makes no friggin’ sense.

graceless November 14, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Dreamer November 14, 2008 at 6:19 pm

O joy! Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild will be our next Ambassador to Great Briton. I can’t wait!

Strappo November 14, 2008 at 6:19 pm

She can’t take dictation. She’d be a shitty Sexetary of State.

Strappo November 14, 2008 at 6:20 pm

[re=177685]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Agree — I think she should make Alito her bitch in the SC.

ReelectTilden November 14, 2008 at 6:27 pm

[re=177640]facehead[/re]: I believe nothing without the drudge siren.

DoctorCulturae November 14, 2008 at 6:29 pm

I call bs. Al Gore is getting a good chuckle over this one. I agree this is MSM fodder marker.

Although I must admit I’d get a kick out of seeing the lemon yellow pants suit meeting with Ahmadinejad.

tocute2btrue November 14, 2008 at 6:46 pm

I had to give the Bitch this, to get her to drop out.
We had already bought the dam Election.

ChuckWood November 14, 2008 at 6:59 pm

obamaslamma: how about Ayers for Homeland Security?
His first move could be to bomb the Department of Homeland Security, which would be a good way to save money by reducing needless bureaucracy. Then maybe just throw grenades out the window in hopes of fragging Kristol.

Darehead November 14, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Darehead predicted this, way back when.

smellyal8r November 14, 2008 at 7:11 pm

Tweety’s now gabbing with Andrea Mitchell and the Politico dweeb about her having the job and who she’s going to hire and whether she gets to appoint all the ambassadors and how she’ll get along with Biden. So, it’s hers. Done deal. Tweety has made it so. And apparently sad old yesterday’s news AP is saying Obama talked to Richardson about the same job. Doubtful.

Plus, it’s probably a good idea. Richardson’s a drunken lout, Kerry’s a horsefaced Frenchy and Lugar said “pass.”

smellyal8r November 14, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=177655]facehead[/re]: Yes. She’s still at the bottom of the food chain in the Senate. She ain’t got no seniority and those old white male coots live 4-evah. I think she’ll be much happier getting out of the House of Lords and off to the real work.

Maus November 14, 2008 at 7:20 pm

[re=177591]sarahconnor[/re]: I added [/PUMA] to indicate the joke but wordpress seems to have filtered out the endtag. It’s not necessary, but I’ve seen the phrase posted on a lot of the astroturf sites like Hillaryis44.

Lazy Media November 14, 2008 at 7:26 pm

As the BBC pointed out tonight, it gets her out of the Senate, where she could do MAJOR mischief to his agenda if she so pleased. If she gets in his way as Secretary of State, he can just fire her.

Borat November 14, 2008 at 7:28 pm

The HuffPo article describes her as an effective “backdoor diplomat”.

I guess Billz isn’t into that sort of thing…

sarahconnor November 14, 2008 at 7:30 pm

[re=177776]Maus[/re]: Well spanks for the clarification, dude! Personally I would prefer the thought of Barry and Hil gently massaging each others’ toes… but that’s me!

Speaking of sexy, check out this hot irresistible City Room historical buttsechs! I especially enjoy the first comment with theh prospect of Bill replacing Hil as my Senator. My keyboard is starting to sweat!

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/in-clinton-speculation-echoes-of-seward/

zhubajie November 14, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Make Bill international rep. for harlots; Roger sec’y for drugs/booze. Our troops need both their help!

Zhu Bajie

lumpenprole November 14, 2008 at 7:52 pm

Better than John Kerry.

God, what an awful thing to notice.

zhubajie November 14, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=177603]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That might actually be a good idea!

Zhu Bajie

DustBowlBlues November 14, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=177625]Constitutional Riots[/re]: My cat has pleurisy. Must be something going around. Or maybe it’s the dust.

Do you have someone to sneak up behind you, grab your head, pull it back, and push a pill down your throat then close you mouth and hold it shut until you have to swallow the pill? I hope so. I’d hate to think about you being all alone at a time like this.

Constitutional Riots November 14, 2008 at 8:06 pm

[re=177638]jagorev[/re]: Fuckin’ pneumonia is like the regular pneumonia but your dr. prescribed cough syrup with codeine in it (yeah!!), and you are fuckin’ mad because some hater or lover of Barry managed to steal my union made sign in the back side window of my vehicle. Can’t have nothin’! Miraculously, a friend had an identical extra sign and he’s gonna give it to me.

[re=177653]hobospacejungle[/re]: Thanks Your Hobo Highness. I could really use some good boogie woogie anything. Also, I respect and admire your user name. I come from good hobo stock, and it comes in handy when you need it, which is like always, also.

[re=177655]facehead[/re]: Misery loves company…at least the election didn’t literally kill us, although there were times when I felt that it would. A weird thing happened the day before the election. We found a lactating bird dog who looked very hungry. We fed her and then tracked her back to her puppies, and found one that was really sick. We were given permission to take him, but he died late the following morning. Come to think of it, that pup may have given me hound dog pneumonia.

Rev. Juan MessyCan November 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm

[re=177780]Borat[/re]: C’mon! I can dream of PantSuits! pegging Billz, can’t I?

azw88 November 14, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Her first trip will be to North Korea. The plane will “accidentally” fly off-course over the Kamchatka Peninsula where it wil be blasted out of the sky(think August 1983).
Clinton will be lionized, Obama will be ‘rid’ of a political nemesis once and for all, and Magically, relations between Russia and the US will improve greatly.

Destonio November 14, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Pop Socket November 14, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

***end Al Pacino imitation***

populucious November 14, 2008 at 10:13 pm

I think this move is Obama-brilliant: it neutralizes whatever threat she offered as a “plucky outsider”. It’s a big, high profile job that she can’t sniff her nose at without offending two of the most powerful women our country has ever produced, one of whom is her mentor: Albright and Rice. She will not want to take this job, for the first reason I listed above, nor does she want to give up her cush elected gig for a job from which she could be fired at the first sign of imaginary Bosnian flak, but she will look like such a tool if she turns it down.

It’s beautiful.

chascates November 14, 2008 at 10:39 pm

NPR’s reporter mentioned her ‘motorcade’ in Chicago. Once reserved for presidents & potentates a senator (and admittedly the wife of a former President) now has an escort of security, handlers, etc. It might be more effective and use less energy to go back to private railroad cars shuttling our republic’s leaders & celebrities around. At least it would point out the problems in our infrastructure when a derailment occurred. Instead of low-wage light manufacturing jobs people can at least look forward to employment serving the A-listers. Or is that considered class warfare?

wickedlittledoll November 14, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Tempting fate are we?

http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

TGY November 15, 2008 at 5:05 am

She would be a fitting successor to Princess Sparkle Pony.

Numbat Dundee November 15, 2008 at 5:53 am

The new ambasador to Bosnia with three free changes of flak jacket trown in!

getoffmylawn November 15, 2008 at 8:05 am

Every presser at Foggy Bottom will begin with her entering the room under a barrage of bullets. Vince Foster for Undersecretary of State.

Babeouf November 15, 2008 at 8:08 am

“Inside the big tent it was back to business as usual. She gets, he gets,they get.
Outside the tent the Obama supporters cheered and cheered until it seemed that their
lungs would burst.” This concludes the first part of ‘A Fairy Tale for Suckers’.

kapish November 15, 2008 at 8:47 am

How about a career foreign service officer as SOS for a change?
Maybe the world would think we are serious about foreign relations if Obama went that way.
Failing that, Richardson makes a lot more sense for the job than Hillary.

ann arky November 15, 2008 at 11:42 am

i luv clinton fans calling barack a sexist! what does that make slick willie1 and better yet “stand by your man” hillary? she should be his secretary! i know bill is hoping she gets the job!

ann arky November 15, 2008 at 11:45 am

if barry’s a sexist what does that make bill? she SHOULD be his secretary! and he should send her back to bosnia under “sniper fire”

ann arky November 15, 2008 at 11:47 am

hillary should stick to what’s she’s best at…voting “yes” for every weapons system, military appropriations bill, and terror funding bill that crosses her desk…and then bragging about it!

ann arky November 15, 2008 at 11:49 am

even better, barack should rescind the offer while she’s playing the waiting game and give it to richardson for his endorsement…that would send clintons over the edge!

ann arky November 15, 2008 at 11:51 am

this carpetbagger billary should be stuck sticking it out in the senate while richardson is sos

d4g33z November 15, 2008 at 12:24 pm

I think that whole Michael Eisenstadt thing bugged you out, Jim. Personally, I believe everything I read.

Fact_Chucker November 15, 2008 at 5:39 pm

I am outraged that in this so-called “Team of Rivals” there has been no place made for Obama’s true rival, the man who gave him a run for the presidency, and represents a substantial portion of the American electorate: Alan Keyes.

I call reverse-reverse racism.

wickedlittledoll November 15, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Watch out Hillrod, there may be a dark horse trying to steal your thunder!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/11/hey-since-when-are-men-more-qualified.html

josereyes.theroof November 15, 2008 at 8:42 pm

If Obie wants to bring back a AARP member from the Clinton year, what about Reno at DOJ?

/loves JR
//seriously
///shoots Lazaro Gonzalez in the face

gliberal November 15, 2008 at 11:15 pm

Is that her dodging sniper fire? Serpentine!

Min November 16, 2008 at 2:47 pm

If Barry’s as smart as he looks, he’ll keep the Clintons the hell out of his cabinet.

rocktonsammy November 16, 2008 at 5:58 pm

the world will be safer with Hilz over there, Harlem may not be as safe though.

rocktonsammy November 16, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=177917]Babeouf[/re]: really don’t you have to keep your enemies closer?

midwestdem November 16, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Will you losers stop with the “Barry” crap?

It isn’t funny. It doesn’t even make sense.

Every time I read it I think what a toolbox the writer must be.

I guess it isn’t quite as bad as the extremely lame Zerobama, but it isn’t much better.

shortsshortsshorts November 17, 2008 at 12:51 pm

[re=178054]midwestdem[/re]: You fucking idiot. “Barry” was Obama’s nickname in college.
Eat a dick.

Darehead November 18, 2008 at 1:26 am

[re=178349]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ummm. Agreed. On first part of your comment. But ‘Barry’ was his childhood nickname UNTIL he got to college, whereupon he decided to flaunt his African identity a bit more.

IonaTrailer November 18, 2008 at 10:54 pm

[re=177558]nurple[/re]: Eagleburger – can I get that with cheese?

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