Wonkette
- PLANET OF RETARDS: “LONDON, England (CNN) — A British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged ‘affair’ in the online world. …Taylor said she had caught Pollard’s avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: ‘I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It’s cheating as far as I’m concerned.’” [CNN]
But even VPs won’t truck with a Paultard.
Any man who would rather beat off to the image of a pixellated prostitute rather than be with his flesh and blood wife deserved to be divorces and taken for every cent he has or will make.
Now THAT’S a yiff pile waiting to happen.
Boy meets Girl online.
Boy has real sex.
Boy loses Girl due to cyberhooker.
The circle of masturbation continues.
Terry: Yup. And any woman who has her nuptials pixelated and virtual gets the husband she deserves.
I am glad I am way too old for this Second Life crap.
Look out! Virtual penises are falling from the sky!
Terry: I am thoroughfully disgusted. With myself for saving all these GILF gif files.
“But Taylor told the Western Morning News she had subsequently hired an online private detective to track his activities”
How do i get this job^^^^^^^^
Terry: Terry, had to break the news, but there’s not a married man who’s ever cruised the series of tubes who hasn’t beat off to the image of a pixelated woman…
Thanks to this lady, and her definition of teh toobz as real, I am now facing several hundred thousand murder charges because of Halo.
Naturally, The Sun newspaper went with the headline, “SECOND WIFE”.
Gopherit: Damn you! I want to use Yiffpile in every post today…
monty: the online private eye job, foo
Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.
Oh, well in THAT case.
Now she’s with someone from World of Warcraft! I wonder if it’s a level 64 Night Elf Druid? Oooo! Or a level 70 Orc Shaman? I would go for a Level 70 Blood Elf Death Knight with +7 agility, yeah baby!
ManchuCandidate: WIN.
I was trying to construct a joke involving mormons, gays, cybersex, and one of my fellow commenters, but I got so hot thinking about it I decided to rub one out instead.
You didn’t even put up the best part: “Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.” I think that was the sane move. There are no cyber iHookers or any forms of sexual congress in WoW. Finally she can live in peace, not concerned that her deranged lovers are engaging in watching poorly rendered humans slam groins together in a video game.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
wheelie: And did Sharon, 19, of Basingstoke have an opinion about it?
UPDATE: To make matters worse, this cyberwhore was worth only 2 virtual whore diamonds.
They have Paultards in the UK, too?
Miller: She’ll get mad if she catches him dancing in his undies with a human female or one of the elf females. They can laugh and blow kisses and make train sounds too…he’d better watch hisself, uh-huh!
Amy Taylor is an anagram for “loser”.
When a prostitute gives you virtual infection on Second Life, do you have to go to a clinic and get a virtual antibodies pack?
Planet of Retards indeed.
I once referred Second Life as a “video game” and was harshly reprimanded by a person who plays (?) Second Life. What exactly would you call it? She also referred to the real world as “First Life”.
Terry: Nigerian Business Executive: You haven’t seen a picture of this couple have you? There was a picture in the Post this morning… trust me, you’d rather crysterbate to a pixelated whore than bang either of them.
Wait. Avatars are supposed to work? bitchincamaro, over and out.
problemwithcaring: Norton Anti-Virus
OMG! I forgot about the Succubus! Those devil women with whips who make sexy noises that those warlocks have! He better not go near one of them neither!!!!
NoWireHangers: Maybe we can just say they are engaging in “artificial intelligence” (i.e. they are really dumb).
bitchincamaro: As a girl who grew up with her daddy having a cb in his little white mazda truck, I feel I should correct your cb-talk: when you say over and out you confuse cb talking people because you are asking them to respond at the same time your telling them you’re leaving. It’s Hollywood’s fault, I know. Ihazasad - out
facehead: Bravo
HILARIOUS PICTURE SLIDESHOW; VIEW IMMEDIATELY!!1!
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Second-Life-Virtual-Divorce-Amy-Taylors-Marriage-Ends/Media-Gallery/200811215151423
jagorev: Oh God, you made me do a search.
Okay people… DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK. Under no circumstances. Disturbing viewing.
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Second-Life-Virtual-Divorce-Amy-Taylors-Marriage-Ends/Media-Gallery/200811215151423
That, my friends, is the beautiful institution that was being “kept safe” by Prop 8.
NoWireHangers: Jinx!
NoWireHangers: me haz a virtual sad.
NoWireHangers: There are people like that. There are ACTUALLY people like that.
Shoot me, between the eyes. That way if I live at least I can still be blind.
NoWireHangers:
Sweet Zombie Jeebus. It’s. Even. Worse. Than. I. Imagined.
I only have one question. Have either of them ever seen their junk?
freakishlystrong: I guess that makes me a yiff-blocker
Holey Moley.
iwillsavethispatient: After reading Jagorev’s comment I too went on an immediate picture quest. I laughed through the tears.
iwillsavethispatient: Ugh. I like your warning much better. I certainly should have scrolled down before I viewed immediately.
shortsshortsshorts: Doesn’t it just make you want to become a virtual Paultard, marry a virtual Mormon, and then tell them you must virtually divorce them because you are really gay.
NoWireHangers: iwillsavethispatient: This. made. my. DAY! Well, that and the fact that David “feels comfortable in tracksuit bottoms.” I had no idea he was Republican too!
ihasasad: 10-4, Elsinor.
ManchuCandidate: Their virtual junk or their real junk? Because, I don’t think any of thatFirst Life junk has seen the light of day in a long long time.
facehead: So ‘win’ it’s not even funny.
Now the time I waste reading snarky political blogs is in now way related to this other, loser use of the internet. Right?
RIGHT?
Oh man….
NoWireHangers: My eyes haz a hurt.
iwillsavethispatient: Last time i clicked a link saying “DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK” I discovered the joys of 2girls1cup.
I can’t wait till Wonkette merges with Second Life and we can all have orgies during Hopey’s weekly YouTube address.
Wait, did I just say that?
Thank you, Second Life, for giving WoW geeks someone to mock openly. OMGULUZRS! EPIC FA1L!!
I do it with spaceships in EVE Online.
Sheepeater: Right, no way related. a/s/l? Wanna cyber?
DieOnTheTurnpike: In which case, this link was a win for you… unless you prefer the whole cup thing, of course.
Sweet merciful geebus.
Well, it should be noted that thanks to the horrifying ubiquity of those player-made sex animations in Second Life, if you click on the wrong spot you may find your innocent-looking character suddenly squat-humping a shiatsu.
Terry: Have you seen the people who play Second Life?
HAVE YOU SEEN THEM
the answer is no because they’re too fat to leave the house without the efforts of their local fire volunteers and the jaws of life to separate their flesh from couchfiber.
I’m confused. The web article states that she weighs “8 stone” which apparently equals 112 lbs according to my handy widget. She would appear to be rathe more humongous than that.
weisenheimer: It fails to describe her height, which is three feet tall.
weisenheimer: No no. Her avatar was 6 feet tall and weighed 8 stone. She looks like she weighs about 5 boulders.
iwillsavethispatient:
Wow, just wow.
I feel much better about my real life now that I’ve seen this.
What exactly would you call it?
Second Life isn’t so much a game as a heavily graphical Wonkette thread, with more emo and less buttsecks.
Oh please, you Brits don’t have sex anyway, you hire Pakistanis to do it for you………
My schadenfreude is making me queasy for once.
Come on, this much be from the Onion. I hope.
Less Second, more First.
Two Level 65 Pudding Elf Fridge Raiding Knights with -10 fuckability found one another; you’d think it would have worked out.
Terry: But he must pay in virtual money too.
Zhu Bajie
They met in a chat room. They had a fairy tale wedding on-line. He cheated on her in with a virtual prostitute. She’s on the rebound with someone from WoW.
Does no one go to bars or clubs anymore?