FILTHY THINGS  5:32 pm November 13, 2008

Yes, Tipsters, That Is George Bush Making A Loaded Hand Gesture

by Jim Newell

Here is a White House photo of President Bush meeting with the “Arizona State University Men’s and Women’s Track Team,” who appear to have won a big game or something in their fake little sport. Now: the hand gesture. Many tipsters might call this “The Shocker,” which represents a rather foul fingerbanging maneuver. But Wonkette editor Sara K. Smith claims that the symbol is the “ASU Pitchfork,” since Arizona State’s evil mascot is the Sun Devil. Probably everyone in the room is making the ASU Pitchfork except for George W. Bush, who is intentionally throwing The Shocker. [White House]

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Hola wonkerados.

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sanantonerose November 13, 2008 at 5:35 pm

The big ones must do shotput, right?

HuskyMescan November 13, 2008 at 5:35 pm

west siiiiiiyyyye

SayItWithWookies November 13, 2008 at 5:35 pm

That’s two in the pleasure-y, one in the Treasury.

loquaciousmusic November 13, 2008 at 5:36 pm

And after that picture was taken, they all made a music video.

sevenrepeat November 13, 2008 at 5:36 pm

It’s nice to see the Special Olympics supporting our President. So sweet.

cal November 13, 2008 at 5:36 pm

That Wikipedia article was most enlightening.

Them November 13, 2008 at 5:37 pm

This can easily be cleared up by asking Laura.

But wait – W. has two options – one is he’s sticking his pinky up some gal’s ass and the other is he’s worshipping the devil?

He really has checked out, hasn’t he?

sk1win November 13, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Two in the goo, one in the poo!

Big Liver November 13, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Sure as shit I’ve stumbled into a parallel universe. I can think of no other explanation.

sanantonerose November 13, 2008 at 5:38 pm

It’s really not that funny when everyone in the picture is doing it.

sk1win November 13, 2008 at 5:39 pm

Two in the pink, one in the stink!

El Bombastico November 13, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Pfft. You should see what was on his upper lip when he met with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus.

ronaldpagan November 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm

[re=176343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Two in Iraq, one in the crack?

ManchuCandidate November 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm

One person’s pitchfork is another person’s shocker.

El Bombastico November 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm

I’m guessing the gal on his right doesn’t run the 100-yd dash.

ManchuCandidate November 13, 2008 at 5:43 pm

Two in the Sunni and One in the Shiite?

Cogito Ergo Bibo November 13, 2008 at 5:43 pm

Why must I now suffer the horrible mental image of Dubya actually employing The Shocker in its natural habitat? Like my job doesn’t provide enough suffering.

MedianHater November 13, 2008 at 5:43 pm

[re=176353]Big Liver[/re]: Seriously, ever since last Tuesday everything is always perfect and amazing all the time. Except for my bank account. That part still sucks.

Itsjustme November 13, 2008 at 5:45 pm

Can Rahm Emanuel do that?

Mustang November 13, 2008 at 5:45 pm

It’s actually a tribute to Rahm Emanuel that was directed by the McCain campaign.

josereyes.theroof November 13, 2008 at 5:46 pm

[re=176352]sk1win[/re]: [re=176356]sk1win[/re]: People, people — please! It’s one in the pink, two in the stink. Also known as the two-gape defense.

Kwame' November 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm

It’s like a Lobster Boy convention.

Gopherit November 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm

Where exactly do you think the pitchfork came from, Jim? Fratboys are crude, but crafty bastards.

And a bunch of those “pitchforks” are missing one of their tines……knowwadImsayin’?

ronaldpagan November 13, 2008 at 5:50 pm

[re=176364]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Two in the vagina, one in Katrina…

SayItWithWookies November 13, 2008 at 5:50 pm

[re=176365]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Don’t worry, he probably does it wrong. Which, come to think of it, might be where Laura perfected that frozen smile of hers.

blader November 13, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Laura is probably creaming in her panties looking at that picture. Grrrrr.

sk1win November 13, 2008 at 5:53 pm

[re=176374]josereyes.theroof[/re]: Not if you are inverted. Damn rookies.

Borat November 13, 2008 at 5:53 pm

wow. i need a closeup of W and I’ll do a bingee. suggestions on where to find a big photo?

Hound November 13, 2008 at 5:54 pm

I like to modify it with a thumb on the button.

hedgehog November 13, 2008 at 5:55 pm

[re=176348]cal[/re]: Check out footnote number 5 in that article. It’s “Sex in the City” with buttsecks.

hedgehog November 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Two in the tank, one in Barney Frank!

cleverhandle November 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm

pretty sure he’s going for a little crotch grab there too

tunamelt November 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm

asu sux

checkonechecktwo November 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Shock and Awe, bitches! Yes!

mbprice November 13, 2008 at 6:01 pm

Woo alma mater!!!

Keram2 November 13, 2008 at 6:09 pm

Are the Circuit City ads on this site part of the bankruptcy deal?

Ted Perino November 13, 2008 at 6:10 pm

A group of world-class athletes? Neh, not hardly.

Arizona Young Republicans? Mnn, think not.

So, who is the motley and random crowd, really? Mebbe a college Young Life group.

StrangelyBrown November 13, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Meh. Call me when he poses with some Wichita State University cheerleaders.

V572625694 November 13, 2008 at 6:15 pm

[re=176365]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: You have a job? Wow, wonders never cease.

monty November 13, 2008 at 6:16 pm

You people disappoint me

2 in the BUSH 1 in the TUSH


SayItWithWookies November 13, 2008 at 6:24 pm

[re=176385]ronaldpagan[/re]: Wherever they go, it’s bound to be a horribly mismanaged adventure. I just wish I could get that to rhyme.

bago November 13, 2008 at 6:31 pm

monty FTW!

Lazy Media November 13, 2008 at 6:34 pm

That’s the ASU pitchfork. In the Shocker, the two forefingers are together, the better to fingerbang you with, my dear. Unless you’re Alan Greenspan, in which case the pitchfork probably works better for you.

One Yield Regular November 13, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Those candelabra sconces are obviously not terribly dextrous. Either that or they’re sitting this one out in protest.

jasonarewhy November 13, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Far more hilarious is the linked Wikipedia article:

The gesture refers to the act of inserting the index and middle fingers into a vagina and the little finger into the unwitting anus, hence the “shock”.

Occasionally, the thumb may be positioned so that it may stimulate the clitoris.

problemwithcaring November 13, 2008 at 6:45 pm

[re=176422]monty[/re]: win. go home.

LuckyJim November 13, 2008 at 6:46 pm

[re=176343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Sir, I believe the correct nomenclature is “two downtown, one in the brown”. *ahem*

Pinto November 13, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Wait, are some women really built that way? Paging Jeremy Irons, Dead Ringers.

bitchincamaro November 13, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Dave J. November 13, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Two in the TARP, one in the AARP.

problemwithcaring November 13, 2008 at 7:00 pm

[re=176461]LuckyJim[/re]: Two in the cooter, one in the pooter? Two in the slit, one in the shit? Someone stop me….

mush November 13, 2008 at 7:08 pm

two in the coot, one in the poot, in the White House yo!

AnnieGetYourFun November 13, 2008 at 7:16 pm

[re=176343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This is why I love you so.

azw88 November 13, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=176403]tunamelt[/re]: BEAR DOWN!

[re=176413]Ted Perino[/re]: Tempee normal School (asu’s earlier name) is in Maricopa County, a decidedly Republican county and home of Presidential LOSER, Johnny-Mac, and thus they have been brainwashed to support Bush with their genetically altered “Hook’em Horns” devil-worshiping signal!

AnnieGetYourFun November 13, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=176459]jasonarewhy[/re]: You know, you learn something new every day. Notice I say “you”. I already knew all this.

Sire Says November 13, 2008 at 7:17 pm

That guy on the far right is not on the fucking track team.

CuntryFirst November 13, 2008 at 7:18 pm

The older guys on the left of the bottom two rows are doing it closest to true Shocker fashion, those old devils. I always knew those college profs were gettin’ it on the regular.

AnnieGetYourFun November 13, 2008 at 7:18 pm

[re=176361]ronaldpagan[/re]: And I love you. [re=176361]ronaldpagan[/re]: And you.

glamourdammerung November 13, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=176476]problemwithcaring[/re]: Two in the Larry Craig, and one in the Harry Reid?

rocktonsammy November 13, 2008 at 7:31 pm

Where did W get all those colored people from?

DarkSynergy November 13, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=176509]rocktonsammy[/re]: They were the only ones left after Katrina. They are only there out of the God awful guilt that he as been living with.

AmazingLarry November 13, 2008 at 7:53 pm

Drill baby, drill

TARDNFETTERED November 13, 2008 at 7:58 pm

Shop teachers love The Shocker. Two in the pink, one in the bandsaw.

Deepthroat November 13, 2008 at 8:02 pm

I would like to know what the young lady, to Mr. Bush’s left, is doing on the track team.

lawrenceofthedesert November 13, 2008 at 8:32 pm

I don’t understand why it’s a fake little sport — you run faster, jump higher, throw farther, you win. Many fewer team and strategic shenanigans than most sports. Difference between first and last place in the sprints, maybe a second, hence the great temptation to dope, but that’s there in all high-level athletics. After three weeks of the Tour de France, for example, the first to finish and the last are exactly one mph apart (which translates out to about 13 hours difference). As Casey Stengel said, you can look it up. Fake little politician, fake little hand gesture, fairly genuine sport.

23skidoo November 13, 2008 at 9:45 pm

As a degree-holding Shocker (Wichita State — yeah, the administration hates the gesture btw), I think ASU owes us some royalty green. Just please wash your hands before you fork it over.

bluebrazos November 13, 2008 at 10:16 pm

This can lead to the rarely-deployed Pinky Sanchez variant of the Dirty Sanchez.

OzoneTom November 13, 2008 at 10:20 pm

[re=176534]Deepthroat[/re]: C’mon you know that the camera always adds two-hundred pounds.

S. Cullen Bonz November 13, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Two for the pap test, one for the crap fest?

iaro November 13, 2008 at 11:21 pm

These little political presents keep popping up…

Sub_Standard November 13, 2008 at 11:24 pm

Two in the cooter, one in the Scooter.

glamourdammerung November 14, 2008 at 12:12 am

Wait a second…you are supposed to put two in the vagina?!?!?!

Guess that explains why I stopped getting invited to the company Christmas party.

tonyAZ82 November 14, 2008 at 12:23 am

teaching the president how to throw up gang signs… stay classy asu —- bear down.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2008 at 12:55 am

Am I the only married male here? It’s “two in the trap, one in the crap.”


ainm cleite November 14, 2008 at 1:42 am

Two where she’s fecund, and one for her rectum

Politicalchef November 14, 2008 at 1:49 am

I’m sorry, but in “THE SHOCKER” the two fingers are crossed (easy penetration, with girth!), the thumb is out (stimulation!) and the pinky is to the side (whoa! rear entry!) as shown. Since only one element of “the shocker” is correct in this picture, I figure 1. Nope, that’s not it, and 2. The wonkette male staff doesn’t really get the idea of female stimulation.

Go get a anatomy book and figure it out, boys: two in the pink, one in the stink, thumb on the nub.



TGY November 14, 2008 at 2:19 am

So, ASU is, what? ‘Fork U’?

abirato November 14, 2008 at 5:20 am

The finger that ain’t makes room for the taint.

A-MinusList November 14, 2008 at 8:20 am

i’ve always called it ‘the taser’ (that’s what she said)

don’t tase me bro.

ph7 November 14, 2008 at 9:13 am

[re=176637]abirato[/re]: Perfect.

Rusty Shackleford November 14, 2008 at 10:24 am

Jeez, I hope that Wiki hand model got a manicure before putting that Shocker to practical use!

nurple November 14, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Lotta chubbys in there. They dominated with shotput and hammer, not hurdles?

Sacanagem November 20, 2008 at 12:05 pm

ASU’s hand gesture is hand up, palm out:

And these kids know that.


Shocker Jesus March 13, 2009 at 4:59 am

The Shocker And Awe campaign.

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