filthy things

Yes, Tipsters, That Is George Bush Making A Loaded Hand Gesture

Here is a White House photo of President Bush meeting with the “Arizona State University Men’s and Women’s Track Team,” who appear to have won a big game or something in their fake little sport. Now: the hand gesture. Many tipsters might call this “The Shocker,” which represents a rather foul fingerbanging maneuver. But Wonkette editor Sara K. Smith claims that the symbol is the “ASU Pitchfork,” since Arizona State’s evil mascot is the Sun Devil. Probably everyone in the room is making the ASU Pitchfork except for George W. Bush, who is intentionally throwing The Shocker. [White House]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. Them

    This can easily be cleared up by asking Laura.

    But wait – W. has two options – one is he’s sticking his pinky up some gal’s ass and the other is he’s worshipping the devil?

    He really has checked out, hasn’t he?

  2. El Bombastico

    Pfft. You should see what was on his upper lip when he met with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus.

  3. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    Why must I now suffer the horrible mental image of Dubya actually employing The Shocker in its natural habitat? Like my job doesn’t provide enough suffering.

  4. MedianHater

    [re=176353]Big Liver[/re]: Seriously, ever since last Tuesday everything is always perfect and amazing all the time. Except for my bank account. That part still sucks.

  5. josereyes.theroof

    [re=176352]sk1win[/re]: [re=176356]sk1win[/re]: People, people — please! It’s one in the pink, two in the stink. Also known as the two-gape defense.

  6. Gopherit

    Where exactly do you think the pitchfork came from, Jim? Fratboys are crude, but crafty bastards.

    And a bunch of those “pitchforks” are missing one of their tines……knowwadImsayin’?

  7. SayItWithWookies

    [re=176365]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Don’t worry, he probably does it wrong. Which, come to think of it, might be where Laura perfected that frozen smile of hers.

  8. hedgehog

    [re=176348]cal[/re]: Check out footnote number 5 in that article. It’s “Sex in the City” with buttsecks.

  9. Ted Perino

    A group of world-class athletes? Neh, not hardly.

    Arizona Young Republicans? Mnn, think not.

    So, who is the motley and random crowd, really? Mebbe a college Young Life group.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    [re=176385]ronaldpagan[/re]: Wherever they go, it’s bound to be a horribly mismanaged adventure. I just wish I could get that to rhyme.

  11. Lazy Media

    That’s the ASU pitchfork. In the Shocker, the two forefingers are together, the better to fingerbang you with, my dear. Unless you’re Alan Greenspan, in which case the pitchfork probably works better for you.

  12. One Yield Regular

    Those candelabra sconces are obviously not terribly dextrous. Either that or they’re sitting this one out in protest.

  13. jasonarewhy

    Far more hilarious is the linked Wikipedia article:

    The gesture refers to the act of inserting the index and middle fingers into a vagina and the little finger into the unwitting anus, hence the “shock”.

    Occasionally, the thumb may be positioned so that it may stimulate the clitoris.

  14. LuckyJim

    [re=176343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Sir, I believe the correct nomenclature is “two downtown, one in the brown”. *ahem*

  15. problemwithcaring

    [re=176461]LuckyJim[/re]: Two in the cooter, one in the pooter? Two in the slit, one in the shit? Someone stop me….

  16. azw88

    [re=176403]tunamelt[/re]: BEAR DOWN!

    [re=176413]Ted Perino[/re]: Tempee normal School (asu’s earlier name) is in Maricopa County, a decidedly Republican county and home of Presidential LOSER, Johnny-Mac, and thus they have been brainwashed to support Bush with their genetically altered “Hook’em Horns” devil-worshiping signal!

  17. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=176459]jasonarewhy[/re]: You know, you learn something new every day. Notice I say “you”. I already knew all this.

  18. CuntryFirst

    The older guys on the left of the bottom two rows are doing it closest to true Shocker fashion, those old devils. I always knew those college profs were gettin’ it on the regular.

  19. DarkSynergy

    [re=176509]rocktonsammy[/re]: They were the only ones left after Katrina. They are only there out of the God awful guilt that he as been living with.

  20. lawrenceofthedesert

    I don’t understand why it’s a fake little sport — you run faster, jump higher, throw farther, you win. Many fewer team and strategic shenanigans than most sports. Difference between first and last place in the sprints, maybe a second, hence the great temptation to dope, but that’s there in all high-level athletics. After three weeks of the Tour de France, for example, the first to finish and the last are exactly one mph apart (which translates out to about 13 hours difference). As Casey Stengel said, you can look it up. Fake little politician, fake little hand gesture, fairly genuine sport.

  21. 23skidoo

    As a degree-holding Shocker (Wichita State — yeah, the administration hates the gesture btw), I think ASU owes us some royalty green. Just please wash your hands before you fork it over.

  22. glamourdammerung

    Wait a second…you are supposed to put two in the vagina?!?!?!

    Guess that explains why I stopped getting invited to the company Christmas party.

  23. Politicalchef

    I’m sorry, but in “THE SHOCKER” the two fingers are crossed (easy penetration, with girth!), the thumb is out (stimulation!) and the pinky is to the side (whoa! rear entry!) as shown. Since only one element of “the shocker” is correct in this picture, I figure 1. Nope, that’s not it, and 2. The wonkette male staff doesn’t really get the idea of female stimulation.

    Go get a anatomy book and figure it out, boys: two in the pink, one in the stink, thumb on the nub.



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