About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • sarcasticusername

    WORLD PEACE & PUPPIES FOR ALL!!! I think hopey’s got a future in beauty pageants… you know when he gets done with this whole being president thing.

  • monty

    fuckabuncha puppies i want my PONY GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • dano

    Ha ha! I get it. They edited the video so he says “puppy” a lot.

  • problemwithcaring

    …And then he picks Socks to lead the puppy transition team, and she picks another kitten.

  • SayItWithWookies

    He better not fall back on one of those puppies that was in Clinton’s White House.

  • TGY

    I protest that kittens must be included for diversity!

  • finallyhappy

    In an across-the-aisle moment, the Obamas adopt Barney and Ms Beasley.

  • Itsjustme

    Love the way Hopey says “puppy”

  • dorothy parker blues


  • The Pumpernickel


    Does anyone remember when Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones did the puppy and kitten videos for Funny Or Die? Now they seem strangely prophetic!


  • Valkyrie

    Don’t tease me like this. Where’s my f%@&#ng puppy? After 5 1/2 years of listening to Palin I earned it!

  • ph7

    Karl Marx ate puppies, too.

  • ioksotot23

    wurf, wurfwurfwurf, wurf, wurfwurf, wurf you wurfy much

  • Totowa

    …and then the presidential motorcade’s left, rear, tire runs over the new puppy and once again a nation grieves.

  • Kwame&#39

    Just remember that “Buddy” was killed by a speeding car in Chappaqua. Let’s not have the Clintons on the search committee.
    Meanwhile, America’s temporary puppies are totally passed out at the moment:

  • MathewBrooks

    I earned this new puppy!! nothing you can say will diminish this moment!

  • AshMas

    he needs to get the girls one of these puppies.

  • Palin-Plumber2012

    Haha, funny, then not funny, then funny again, then not funny, then funny again.

  • Beef Supreme

    My favorite part was where he talked about the puppy.

  • FreshCliches

    If this leads to a decrease of LOLCats on the intertubes, I’m all for it.

  • BarthexDeRosa

    Earned? A bunch of liberal welfare queens roll out of their opium dens long enough to vote for the socialist and they get puppies. Meanwhile, Joe The Goddamn Plumber works 42 hours a day and the puppies he dreams of having one day are nationalized in advance by Barack Jong-Il!

  • PrairiePossum

    Welcome the new puppy economy – puppy walkers, puppy poop scoopers, puppy trainers, puppy whisperers, etc.

  • ioksotot23

    Joe assembles his Carcano, the pieces fitting together like a ball-cock, monkey wrench unlimbered in a falsetto of Dallas, he knows the puppy must be disposed of, like a hair clog…

    We laugh as the tool in his hands turns to the feather duster of Joe the housekeeper…

    and the housekeepers get pissed and beat him down with bottles of Form. 409 inverted into bludgeons…

    Slumber, Joe, a new wind blows, the kennels are empty…

    we are all adopted now…

  • psychedelicSludge

    Yes we can! fall down on the floor and cough up a lung laughing.

  • Godot

    Oh man, my sides hurt. That was excellent.

  • WadISay

    If anybody doubts that America is a land of infinite possibilities…

    …it bloody well better not be the damn puppy that gets picked out of a pound on the south side of Chicago and taken to live in the White House with the most adorable family on earth.

  • obfuscator

    Just another example of the influence that Big Puppy will have in the Obama administration.

  • SelfDeprecatingFed

    I lol’d

  • pepe

    This was just funny enough to win me over.

  • bitchincamaro

    I accidentally ran over a puppy once. Am I on some kind of blacklist at the WH now?

  • psychedelicSludge

    “… in my day, it was goldfish raids, panty-swallowing …”

  • finallyhappy

    [re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: yes

  • wilmawonker

    why are we watching this again a week later?

  • ioksotot23

    Twelve point four three years ago, our sires brought forth on this continent, a new kennel, conceived in liberty,and dedicated to the puposition that all dogs are created equal….

  • monty

    [re=176041]wilmawonker[/re]: you can never have to much hopey puppy propaganda. BTW wheres my fuckin pony???

  • grevillea

    You know, he has a point. Maybe I will vote for him after all…

  • sanantonerose

    I said I wanted a furry Spaniard, not a Spaniel!

  • vintageways

    Why do Republicans hate puppies?

  • Fivetree

    YES WE CANine!

  • lampadadog

    I am outraged by the teasing remarks accompanying this video, which suggested that a new puppy has been chosen and was about to be revealed somewhere in this post. Outraged! Since the election, the din of the demon yowling has reached such heights that some of us choose to shield our delicate souls by receiving national news only through Wonkette. So when you say things like “here’s your new puppy” America, I expect satisfaction. Do not do this to me again.

  • Min

    Who cares about a chicken in every pot? We want a pound puppy in every backyard!

  • lampadadog

    Obama is probably going to promise that a special email with pictures of the new puppy will be sent first to all his supporters, so that they’ll be the first to know which companion was chosen. But then a picture of the puppy will be leaked on CNN, followed an hour later by the official Obama puppy supporter email.

  • sezme

    [re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: If you are, in fact, a bitchin’ Camaro, then that is yet one more reason why Detroit should not be bailed out.

  • cal

    Wait, is there a new puppy coming with them to the White House?

  • Street Organizer

    That was funny & stupid. I needed to laugh. Life is pretty crappy for the jobless with no jobs to apply to!!

  • S.Luggo

    [re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: More. A life for a life, dude.

  • AirAmericaRadioFiredMe

    There is no reason that should have been that funny. Shame I’m so broke, I had to eat my new puppy. It tasted of hope, and a little saffron I sprinkled on.

  • sanantonerose

    [re=176099]Min[/re]: We do have a pound puppy in every backyard. And the pound puppy mama. That’s the problem!

  • riffin1

    So it’s not going to be the ugly-ass Peruvian Chupacabra thing? That’s not change I can believe in.

  • d4g33z

    Now that’s my kind of comedy! It’s no TV Carnage, but it’ll do.

    Massively somewhat irrelevant link to tv carnage:

  • agentstinky

    We need to start keeping a tally of the weird phantom-syllables Obama adds on before certain words. “You have earned a-the new puppy…” It’s brilliant.

  • El Kabong

    my favorite part was the non sequitur in the middle when instead of the new puppy line:

    “for those americans whose support I have yet to earn…

    we will defeat you!”


  • Jukesgrrl

    Puppies and pie. Who knew that electing a Commie terrorist could lead to this much cuteness?

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=176192]S.Luggo[/re]: *Parked in closed garage, motor running, hose in window*

  • Half-Price Muslin

    Silly Wonketeers, we all know who the new puppy is! It’s Joe Biden! OK, maybe lapdog would be the more accurate term.