MAY GOD BLESS THIS PUPPY  2:53 pm November 13, 2008

PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES

by Sara K. Smith

This is your puppy, America. It belongs to you. [White House Puppy]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 55 comments }

sarcasticusername November 13, 2008 at 2:58 pm

WORLD PEACE & PUPPIES FOR ALL!!! I think hopey’s got a future in beauty pageants… you know when he gets done with this whole being president thing.

monty November 13, 2008 at 2:59 pm

fuckabuncha puppies i want my PONY GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dano November 13, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Ha ha! I get it. They edited the video so he says “puppy” a lot.

problemwithcaring November 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm

…And then he picks Socks to lead the puppy transition team, and she picks another kitten.

SayItWithWookies November 13, 2008 at 3:03 pm

He better not fall back on one of those puppies that was in Clinton’s White House.

TGY November 13, 2008 at 3:04 pm

I protest that kittens must be included for diversity!

finallyhappy November 13, 2008 at 3:06 pm

In an across-the-aisle moment, the Obamas adopt Barney and Ms Beasley.

Itsjustme November 13, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Love the way Hopey says “puppy”

dorothy parker blues November 13, 2008 at 3:07 pm

PUPPYOCRACY.

The Pumpernickel November 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f88f8d6385/natalie-portman-rashida-jones-speak-out-from-natalie-portman-and-rashida-jones

Does anyone remember when Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones did the puppy and kitten videos for Funny Or Die? Now they seem strangely prophetic!

http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

Valkyrie November 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Don’t tease me like this. Where’s my f%@&#ng puppy? After 5 1/2 years of listening to Palin I earned it!

ph7 November 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Karl Marx ate puppies, too.

ioksotot23 November 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

wurf, wurfwurfwurf, wurf, wurfwurf, wurf you wurfy much

Totowa November 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

…and then the presidential motorcade’s left, rear, tire runs over the new puppy and once again a nation grieves.

Kwame' November 13, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Just remember that “Buddy” was killed by a speeding car in Chappaqua. Let’s not have the Clintons on the search committee.
Meanwhile, America’s temporary puppies are totally passed out at the moment:
http://buzzfeed.com/jonah/shiba-puppies-live-video

MathewBrooks November 13, 2008 at 3:10 pm

I earned this new puppy!! nothing you can say will diminish this moment!

AshMas November 13, 2008 at 3:11 pm

he needs to get the girls one of these puppies.
http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016

Palin-Plumber2012 November 13, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Haha, funny, then not funny, then funny again, then not funny, then funny again.

Beef Supreme November 13, 2008 at 3:14 pm

My favorite part was where he talked about the puppy.

FreshCliches November 13, 2008 at 3:14 pm

If this leads to a decrease of LOLCats on the intertubes, I’m all for it.

BarthexDeRosa November 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Earned? A bunch of liberal welfare queens roll out of their opium dens long enough to vote for the socialist and they get puppies. Meanwhile, Joe The Goddamn Plumber works 42 hours a day and the puppies he dreams of having one day are nationalized in advance by Barack Jong-Il!

PrairiePossum November 13, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Welcome the new puppy economy – puppy walkers, puppy poop scoopers, puppy trainers, puppy whisperers, etc.

ioksotot23 November 13, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Joe assembles his Carcano, the pieces fitting together like a ball-cock, monkey wrench unlimbered in a falsetto of Dallas, he knows the puppy must be disposed of, like a hair clog…

We laugh as the tool in his hands turns to the feather duster of Joe the housekeeper…

and the housekeepers get pissed and beat him down with bottles of Form. 409 inverted into bludgeons…

Slumber, Joe, a new wind blows, the kennels are empty…

we are all adopted now…

psychedelicSludge November 13, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Yes we can! fall down on the floor and cough up a lung laughing.

Godot November 13, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Oh man, my sides hurt. That was excellent.

WadISay November 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm

If anybody doubts that America is a land of infinite possibilities…

…it bloody well better not be the damn puppy that gets picked out of a pound on the south side of Chicago and taken to live in the White House with the most adorable family on earth.

obfuscator November 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Just another example of the influence that Big Puppy will have in the Obama administration.

SelfDeprecatingFed November 13, 2008 at 3:28 pm

I lol’d

pepe November 13, 2008 at 3:29 pm

This was just funny enough to win me over.

bitchincamaro November 13, 2008 at 3:30 pm

I accidentally ran over a puppy once. Am I on some kind of blacklist at the WH now?

psychedelicSludge November 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm

“… in my day, it was goldfish raids, panty-swallowing …”
http://www.twintone.com/projects/7910.html

finallyhappy November 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm

[re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: yes

wilmawonker November 13, 2008 at 3:37 pm

why are we watching this again a week later?

ioksotot23 November 13, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Twelve point four three years ago, our sires brought forth on this continent, a new kennel, conceived in liberty,and dedicated to the puposition that all dogs are created equal….

monty November 13, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=176041]wilmawonker[/re]: you can never have to much hopey puppy propaganda. BTW wheres my fuckin pony???

grevillea November 13, 2008 at 3:48 pm

You know, he has a point. Maybe I will vote for him after all…

sanantonerose November 13, 2008 at 3:48 pm

I said I wanted a furry Spaniard, not a Spaniel!

vintageways November 13, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Why do Republicans hate puppies?

Fivetree November 13, 2008 at 3:57 pm

YES WE CANine!

lampadadog November 13, 2008 at 3:58 pm

I am outraged by the teasing remarks accompanying this video, which suggested that a new puppy has been chosen and was about to be revealed somewhere in this post. Outraged! Since the election, the din of the demon yowling has reached such heights that some of us choose to shield our delicate souls by receiving national news only through Wonkette. So when you say things like “here’s your new puppy” America, I expect satisfaction. Do not do this to me again.

Min November 13, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Who cares about a chicken in every pot? We want a pound puppy in every backyard!

lampadadog November 13, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Obama is probably going to promise that a special email with pictures of the new puppy will be sent first to all his supporters, so that they’ll be the first to know which companion was chosen. But then a picture of the puppy will be leaked on CNN, followed an hour later by the official Obama puppy supporter email.

sezme November 13, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: If you are, in fact, a bitchin’ Camaro, then that is yet one more reason why Detroit should not be bailed out.

cal November 13, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Wait, is there a new puppy coming with them to the White House?

Street Organizer November 13, 2008 at 4:20 pm

That was funny & stupid. I needed to laugh. Life is pretty crappy for the jobless with no jobs to apply to!!

S.Luggo November 13, 2008 at 4:27 pm

[re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: More. A life for a life, dude.

AirAmericaRadioFiredMe November 13, 2008 at 5:10 pm

There is no reason that should have been that funny. Shame I’m so broke, I had to eat my new puppy. It tasted of hope, and a little saffron I sprinkled on.

sanantonerose November 13, 2008 at 5:40 pm

[re=176099]Min[/re]: We do have a pound puppy in every backyard. And the pound puppy mama. That’s the problem!

riffin1 November 13, 2008 at 7:27 pm

So it’s not going to be the ugly-ass Peruvian Chupacabra thing? That’s not change I can believe in.

d4g33z November 13, 2008 at 7:35 pm

Now that’s my kind of comedy! It’s no TV Carnage, but it’ll do.

Massively somewhat irrelevant link to tv carnage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQmCkDR0dHw

agentstinky November 13, 2008 at 7:38 pm

We need to start keeping a tally of the weird phantom-syllables Obama adds on before certain words. “You have earned a-the new puppy…” It’s brilliant.

El Kabong November 13, 2008 at 7:39 pm

my favorite part was the non sequitur in the middle when instead of the new puppy line:

“for those americans whose support I have yet to earn…

we will defeat you!”

awesome!

Jukesgrrl November 13, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Puppies and pie. Who knew that electing a Commie terrorist could lead to this much cuteness?

bitchincamaro November 13, 2008 at 9:06 pm

[re=176192]S.Luggo[/re]: *Parked in closed garage, motor running, hose in window*

Half-Price Muslin November 13, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Silly Wonketeers, we all know who the new puppy is! It’s Joe Biden! OK, maybe lapdog would be the more accurate term.

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