About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. sarcasticusername

    WORLD PEACE & PUPPIES FOR ALL!!! I think hopey’s got a future in beauty pageants… you know when he gets done with this whole being president thing.

  2. Valkyrie

    Don’t tease me like this. Where’s my f%@&#ng puppy? After 5 1/2 years of listening to Palin I earned it!

  3. Totowa

    …and then the presidential motorcade’s left, rear, tire runs over the new puppy and once again a nation grieves.

  4. BarthexDeRosa

    Earned? A bunch of liberal welfare queens roll out of their opium dens long enough to vote for the socialist and they get puppies. Meanwhile, Joe The Goddamn Plumber works 42 hours a day and the puppies he dreams of having one day are nationalized in advance by Barack Jong-Il!

  5. PrairiePossum

    Welcome the new puppy economy – puppy walkers, puppy poop scoopers, puppy trainers, puppy whisperers, etc.

  6. ioksotot23

    Joe assembles his Carcano, the pieces fitting together like a ball-cock, monkey wrench unlimbered in a falsetto of Dallas, he knows the puppy must be disposed of, like a hair clog…

    We laugh as the tool in his hands turns to the feather duster of Joe the housekeeper…

    and the housekeepers get pissed and beat him down with bottles of Form. 409 inverted into bludgeons…

    Slumber, Joe, a new wind blows, the kennels are empty…

    we are all adopted now…

  7. WadISay

    If anybody doubts that America is a land of infinite possibilities…

    …it bloody well better not be the damn puppy that gets picked out of a pound on the south side of Chicago and taken to live in the White House with the most adorable family on earth.

  8. ioksotot23

    Twelve point four three years ago, our sires brought forth on this continent, a new kennel, conceived in liberty,and dedicated to the puposition that all dogs are created equal….

  9. monty

    [re=176041]wilmawonker[/re]: you can never have to much hopey puppy propaganda. BTW wheres my fuckin pony???

  10. lampadadog

    I am outraged by the teasing remarks accompanying this video, which suggested that a new puppy has been chosen and was about to be revealed somewhere in this post. Outraged! Since the election, the din of the demon yowling has reached such heights that some of us choose to shield our delicate souls by receiving national news only through Wonkette. So when you say things like “here’s your new puppy” America, I expect satisfaction. Do not do this to me again.

  11. lampadadog

    Obama is probably going to promise that a special email with pictures of the new puppy will be sent first to all his supporters, so that they’ll be the first to know which companion was chosen. But then a picture of the puppy will be leaked on CNN, followed an hour later by the official Obama puppy supporter email.

  12. sezme

    [re=176034]bitchincamaro[/re]: If you are, in fact, a bitchin’ Camaro, then that is yet one more reason why Detroit should not be bailed out.

  13. Street Organizer

    That was funny & stupid. I needed to laugh. Life is pretty crappy for the jobless with no jobs to apply to!!

  14. AirAmericaRadioFiredMe

    There is no reason that should have been that funny. Shame I’m so broke, I had to eat my new puppy. It tasted of hope, and a little saffron I sprinkled on.

  15. sanantonerose

    [re=176099]Min[/re]: We do have a pound puppy in every backyard. And the pound puppy mama. That’s the problem!

  16. riffin1

    So it’s not going to be the ugly-ass Peruvian Chupacabra thing? That’s not change I can believe in.

  17. agentstinky

    We need to start keeping a tally of the weird phantom-syllables Obama adds on before certain words. “You have earned a-the new puppy…” It’s brilliant.

  18. El Kabong

    my favorite part was the non sequitur in the middle when instead of the new puppy line:

    “for those americans whose support I have yet to earn…

    we will defeat you!”


  19. Half-Price Muslin

    Silly Wonketeers, we all know who the new puppy is! It’s Joe Biden! OK, maybe lapdog would be the more accurate term.

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