Wonkette
Ha ha, remember back in that debate when Barack Obama was asked how he can represent change if his advisors are a bunch of Billary cronies, and Hillary laughed at him meanly, and he said, “I’m looking forward to you advising me too, Hillary”? He wasn’t lying. He has decided to reconstruct the entire foul Clinton repository of hacks, brick by brick, until his presidency culminates in a hasty under-the-desk blow job from a fat chick. Many Obama supporters find this objectionable!
He promised to clean up Washington and usher in a new era of civility, and yet he hires as his Chief of Staff a crazed table-stabber who knows exactly one word of English, and that word is “fuck.” This fellow, Rahm Emanuel, worked for Bill Clinton forever.
Ditto Larry Summers, a guy who may end up Secretary of the Treasury, again, having served in that post for Clinton before continuing on to a disastrous stint as the president of Harvard University. Summers, like Emanuel, is known for his incredibly poor social skills and general dickishness.
So what next? Will Hillary Clinton be heading up another failed attempt at healthcare reform?
Now comes the “to be fair” paragraph! To be fair, every administration needs some seasoned hands who know how to navigate Washington’s supersecret labyrinths of power. Additionally, if you want somebody to run say YOUR ECONOMY, you might naturally look for somebody with experience in RUNNING ECONOMIES. The applicant pool is fairly limited. (This was, by the way, basically the argument that Dick Cheney used when he explained why he consulted with oil companies to hammer out energy legislation. They were the experts, after all!)
But on the other hand’s other hand, it is fairly unbelievable that literally the only people in America qualified to run Obama’s administration are the same people who already ran Clinton’s. We will know we’re in trouble when Obama hires Mark Penn as his Chief Demographer.
ANALYSIS-Obama’s engine for change fueled by old-timers [Reuters]
Yeah, right, those eight years of peace and prosperity under Clinton were a living hell.
The “to be fair” paragraph is good, but tou also need a “comes at a time when” paragraph, and a “remains to be seen” paragraph to round out the trifecta of newspaper clichés.
when is a blunt not a blunt?
the space/time torus is static when the observer is far enough removed
the eternal return, i.e. heat death of the universe?
everyone loves gratis bj’s
after all, bringing in fresh faces untainted by previous time spent in DC did work out swimmingly for Carter.
Hoodwinked again. I haz a sad.
WTF Is that thing? A ginormous nekkid mole rat?
i had no idea the montauk monster was socialist FTW!!
Sheila Bair, please. No thanks on the Larry Summers redux.
And Kitzhaber for Health and Human Services. The guy has Oregon hair and his breath smells of pine trees and espresso. The Oregon Health Plan worked so long as they funded the damned thing…
Well, “douchey” to “dickish” is technically a change.
Then again, these former Clintonites still have to get by the massive questionnaire, which covers such vital bases as “what is your Wonkette screen name?”
messickc (ROLL TIDE!): Hillary really let herself go.
Yes, but the old-timers are all hopey and changey now…
I don’t Blame Obama, he’s just trying to copy what the last black president did. And I think it worked our pretty well, don’t you?!!!!!1one
Couldn’t NoBama wait at least until after he gets sworn in to disappoint us?
If the Obama Administration is really Clinton redux, maybe Joe Klein can write another anonymous book: “Primary Coloreds”
It’s a cabinet you can xerox!
If Barry really did believe that Unicorns shot rainbows out their asses and that fairy poop cured cancer then he’d be the black Ralph Nadir who got beaten up by mean old Hilsbot Clinton instead of preznit elect.
Considering the mess US America is right now, Prez Barry needs to hit the ground running and no time for on the job training for those who are pure of mind, body and soul. Not everyone in the Clinton admin was evil (only 90%.)
Outrage, followed by reasoned asssessment, followed by incredulousness. Sara, you’ve got us coming and going again.
yeah, well, at least he ain’t appointing sarah palin to anything.
…I think we need to look at this like football. In football before you draft a rookie quarterback, you sign yourself a veteran quarterback first. This gives your rookie sometime to learn the “in & outs” of league before you throw him into the pressure cooker. So I think the key to this equation is who is filling the back-up positions! Now that I have managed to work a football analogy into one of my comments, I will now go and masturbate to a photo of John Madden!
Obama giving a terrorist fist jab to the montauk monster? I smell a blingee….
intern, internal, poll, dress sex, cigar, mess, age difference, no prob, le place’s demon, striation across smooth flesh, when is a white owl brown, when is stephanopolous marked for the hit, why, why, why, can’t there be something new under the sun….it all returns like persistent crabs…from the last century….
StrangelyBrown: I know, right, I was like - can’t wait to see who is ‘wonkouted’!
Change you can go fuck yourself with?
Oh please. Hopey meant ‘Change’ as in ‘Change from the Suckness that is George Bush’.
I’m not sure who was expecting him to put 20-something Wunderkinder in charge of everything. Possibly 20-something Kinder?
don’t tell me none of you guys saw this coming?
Can we skip ahead to the part about the fat chick?
Oh, ye of little faith.
Blasphemy!
living through the haircut president…tarmac waiting…never again…one hopes
new, smells like fresh plastic, out-gassing, dashboard re-sizing, settling in hopemobile..
sayonarra clintonista coprolites….one hopes….
Not taking advice from Republicans — be they from the Brookings Institution or the CSIS or the Bush administration — is a good start. These crybabies are the same folks who campaigned against Hillary because, as they said, they’d had enough of two families in power since 1988, in spite of the fact that twelve years of Bushes in the White House passed without objection. Screw those people. Let competent Clintonites weild the power, while thse poor sissies write policy papers for PNAC, suck up to Richard Perle, and cry into their Miller Lites about how their cowboy boots are too tight for eight years.
StrangelyBrown:StrangelyBrown: “Then again, these former Clintonites still have to get by the massive questionnaire, which covers such vital bases as “what is your Wonkette screen name?”
I was thinking the same thing when I saw the article about the heavy vetting (versus heavy petting, which you would expect from Clintonistas) you had to go through just to get a job delivering lattes in the O’Bama WH.
This means the new administration will be deprived of the collective talents of the Wonkerratti.
facehead: O No You Didn’t!!!
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/75888728-Blingee
ioksotot23: Captain Beefheart, is that you?
aren’t these guys just contractors following the architect-in-chief’s designs? they know how to sheetrock and tile, who cares if they’re legal?
Is this the appropriate time to break out the “better the devil you know” cliches?
Oooh Oooh!!! I’m not saying it would be good, but if Ol’ Hopey had an affair, imagine the headlines!!!
“The Audacity of Grope”
Do you think he’ll appoint Oprah as one of his advisors? She does recommend some pretty awesome books.
AngryBlakGuy: “masturbate to a photo of John Madden!”
Thanks a lot, Angry. Not only do I have to deal with the fact I can’t apply for a job feeding the unicorns at the Hopey WH, now I have this image to take with me.
What a fucked day this is turning out to be.
free oral for all, liberate the meme/trope, not for chief executive only….
hope is orgasms all around…even for republican Nambla(at least in fantasy)…
leave the Ark & Saw to the demi-urge, the paraclete in brown rests his head in the white house now
we ….h…o…p…e
…He has decided to reconstruct the entire foul Clinton repository of hacks, brick by brick, until his presidency culminates in a hasty under-the-desk blow job from a fat chick…
Raven Symone???
I feel your pain. The Clinton years were marked by rising living standards in the United States, few foreign adventures (dropping bombs in the Balkans) and isolating economic crises (Mexican debt, Asian currency collapse) so they didn’t spread to the world economy.
Clearly no one would want to return to that national nightmare, one in which we didn’t have thousands of young men and women fed to the Afghan and Iraqi meat grinder, decent jobs for most Americans and the ability to plan ones future.
ioksotot23: ‘coprolites’ *is* a fun word.
bitchincamaro: Don V. Vliet gave me up for adoption in 1970 to Polish Catholics, we survive on grace and pierogis
Um, not to add another “to be fair” point, but can we wait until he actually appoints someone to criticize? So far, we have Rahm “I LIke to Say Fuck” Emmanuel and Bob Gibbs. Those are the only people actually picked. The transition team does not count in my book. Let’s see who he settles on and then rip him a new one if we don’t like his choices. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt on this for now, as the man’s decisions to date have been pretty damn good.
‘Scuse me. Didn’t we have a budget SURPLUS under Bubba? I don’t really care for the Clintons, but I cannot deny that our nation was in much better shape during their administration.
clinton years again is fine by me. i mean you didnt actually believe all that hope and change stuff right? oh, oh god, im so sorry
Doglessliberal: It is so much fun to speculate about who he is going to appoint and then tear that person to shreds–it fills the time between the election and when Obama actually names cabinet officials.
bitchincamaro:
It’s Paultard blowback from the glorious TRUCKNUTZ! raid. Naturally, it is humorless and is failing to accomplish anything in true Paultard fasion.
Yes, Rahm Emanuel, John Podesta, and possibly one other guy (maybe) are just too too much. I think he should staff his entire administration with people who have no experience with a White House or Government Department. He should also pull up any trees or bushes the Clinton’s had planted and salt the earth. Clinton shrubs are not changey enough!
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
TGY: “A coprophage shits on a plate…says, mmm this is my rich substance” —W.S. Burroughs
Maybe Perez Hilton will be under his desk…….it would be a change of sorts.
ioksotot23: i.e. coat of arms MSM
HFS after 8 years of the worst administration I ever hope to survive, I can go with some of the old Clintonistas. I have a (bad) feeling we will look back on the 90’s as “the good old days”. and will carry on endlessly about them in the hobo jungles we will begin living in in the next few years/months/weeks until we are killed and our belongings (a pocket knife missing a blade, an old baseball cap) stolen.
Doglessliberal: Oh stop being fair! I say let’s drag Barry out to the street and burn him alive.
Stop bitchin, people, and nominate your own losers here:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/11/11/us/politics/20081111_CABINET_PICKER.html?ex=1242104400&en=61c5f615897ca76d&ei=5087&WT.mc_id=PO-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M069-ROS-1108-PH&WT.mc_ev=click
who’ll be the first to put up T. Rucknutz?
OT but sarah palin is still yammering on about the present button,. i thiink O’bama needs a press release that says “I dont vote, im rick james bitch”
Can we change this from a thread expressing disappointment in old Clinton-era retread appointments, to a thread arguing about who he SHOULD be nominating? For instance, I’ve been hearing that John Kerry may be offered Sec. of State. Doesn’t that seem wrong-headed? Why make our top rep to foreign governments the most boring person you can find?
We’re trying to rebuild these relationships, not make them screen their calls so they don’t get stuck in a room for three hours with a guy who’s pretty obviously been auditioning to be a marble statue his entire political career. Why not John Edwards for State? He’s just as big a loser as John Kerry, but way more fun! He’s unemployed, his marriage is on the ropes,… he has experience charming the pants off people. Seems like a perfect fit to me. And of course, for obvious reasons, William Ayers will get Sec. of Defense.
clinton years? As I recall, my weed box was never empty. But please keep the husky horny gals away from Barry.
The Repubs are thus far shitting themselves in light of Barry’s choice of staff an advisors. I’d say that’s an excellent sign. If he brought in a bunch of virtuous, untainted academics who had only seen the inside of Congress on C-SPAN, there would be semen bursting from the offices of the National Review due to all the spontaneous orgasms.
I know we’ve had cause to forget this over the past eight years with Mr. Hurricane, What Hurricane?, but the guy at the top is the one who sets the agenda. The people he appoints take their marching orders from him.
So yeah, nothing wrong with an experienced staff as long as the President has decent goals. So let’s let the guy take office before we freak out on him.
Sorry, Kimba Wood was hot in her day but now she’s just too damned old. If you want me to get excited about the new administration, I need some fresh BureaucratILF.
hedgehog: NO that would be written by Lindsay Lohan.
SelfDeprecatingFed:
That’s strange we can believe in!!1!
Does this surprise anyone? Some of Bush’s cronies go back to the Nixon Admin.
Oh, noes!!111! Not a return to our long, national nightmare of peace and prosperity under the Clintons!
Kidshowbusiness: Did you post this at DailyKos too? They love this kind of participatory democracy stuff. Unless it deviates by 0.000000001% from the groupthink, then you’re an arsehole.
Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue….
one fish two fish…
err
blowfish, and back to cigars,
Hussein is a smoker, put it out in my ashtray heart….
put out for my ice tray hot soup straw races…
sodium overload stroke out….I am in hope with a future I may never see, long live grayed temples till they fall over in the Delphic fissure overcome by fumes….
mookworthjwilson: MOOKIE FTW!!!!!
Oh, and please not Larry Summers for Treasury. Wasn’t he just another Wall Street guy? We see how well that’s worked the last decade or so. We need someone who will make the markets shit their pants. Let’s put it to a vote. Ralph Nader, or the Hon. Dr. Ronius Paulus. Or Joe the Plumber I guess.
sevenrepeat: That’s hott.
Tommy Says Soooo: Never been to Daily Kos, is that worth checking out? Everything I’ve heard indicates that it tends to be a bit… shrill over there.
hedgehog: NO, that book would be written by Lindsay Lohan.
ioksotot23:
This is a VERY SERIOUS DISCUSSION about the future of the Obama presidency and that you are trying to disrupt. Now we’ll never have THE REVOLUTION! Where’s Tomb?!? Moderator, moderator, waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
One hopes that the Clintonites can assist in the transition to a new crop of Obamanards. Otherwise Barack could become the Jimmy Carter of the 21st century and hand power back to the GOP in ‘10. We need FDR-style Whiz Kids, not Bill and Hillary’s Recycling Center. This is not the Internet-humping economy of ‘92, nor is Newt running Congress. The pathway to change is clear if Obama wants to put the pedal to the metal. The election was generational; Clinton’s Boomers, of whom I am one, are not the answer. It’s the next generation’s turn. Don’t blow it, Barry!
sevenrepeat: and a change of shorts, perhaps. har har
o/t, But, having glimpsed ads on these pages today from Ford Motors, Circuit City, and the real estate section of the NYT, I’m beginning to suspect a subliminal APOCALYPTIC FAIL message from the Wonkette Business Dept. This can’t be good.
facehead: Very pleased with that blingee.
Kidshowbusiness: As long as State doesn’t go to Lugar as some sop to the right, I’m probably okay with it. Lugar is very knowledgeable and knows lots of foreign leaders, but as a voice of dissent against Bush administration policies, he was utterly useless. I hope Obama puts the most progressive face on State as possible. And forget leaving Gates in Defense — the only reason he appears sensible is because Rumsfeld preceded him. Eric Shinseki would be good. He proved that he’ll tell the truth regardless of the consequences. And the screaming from the chickenhawks would be lovely.
People can give Obama shit all they want to…..at least he didn’t flash the shocker with a college track team:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2008/11/images/20081112_d-0077-5-515h.html
Anonymous Office Zombie: I am Utterly Serious, a literal person, am I
AngryBlakGuy: Whereas John Madden is currently masturbating to a photograph of Brett Favre.
Th-Th-That’s not change we can believe in.
mookworthjwilson: Man, if only. She went from disturbingly annoying to destabilizingly stacked. Lacey Chabert did the same, but I didn’t really grow up watching her.
Kidshowbusiness: No.
Oh yes, and under the right leadership and more free of triangulation, I have no problems with most of this administration. Hopefully Hopey can break the DLC in the process.
Anonymous Office Zombie: barry won the vote of the situationist cabal of connecticut, pop.1, we (all of us) h o p e he doesn’t fail….
Arguably Bush II really started to go off the rails as he started stripping away his dad’s people - let’s do it!
bitchincamaro: Well done.
Let’s keep in mind that when he takes office in 67 days, he’s already screwed seven ways til Sunday.Since the Clintons were the last administration to actually have a successful economy, I don’t really see the problem with getting them on board with Hopey. They made it work, why wouldn’t he want to know how, and maybe how these people who made the economy work think that Hopey could make it work again. Sort of like the exact opposite of when W. came into office and hired all his Dad’s old friends and since they’d done nothing but screw everything up before, they just continued to screw everything up again.
Why not go with something that worked before? That certainly is change I can believe in. Hell, he can go all the way back to FDR’s New Deal as a stimulus package as far as I’m concerned. I always wanted to work in a factory.
Face it, the Dems have been wandering in the wilderness for the last 8 years. Where are you going to find competent, experienced people? Some parallel universe where the Florida recount worked out different? I hope Barry develops a farm system to bring up good talent. Anyway, GWB still holds the record for the worst retread in the history of bureaucracy (Henry Kissinger).
oh for crying out loud. if they’re gonna bring back mark penn, they better put joe the plumber on retainer.
dougbob: Wanna bet? She’s already in line to be the next pooper scooper at the National Zoo’s elephant exhibit.
WadISay: War criminals must stick together, afterall.
SayItWithWookies: Ugh, agreed that Gates has to go. In any halfway reasonable world that guy would be in prison. Or at the very least not on anybody’s list of candidates for government jobs. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that GWB has spent his entire life being bailed out by his dad’s friends. So, when he has a problem now, his go-to reflex is just to call in his dad’s buddies to solve it for him. Unfortunately, they’re all pretty much incompetent.
bitchincamaro: The Paultards have apparently already discovered this. Dr. Ron is Top 10 in all categories. This cannot be.
Nobody’s mentioned the most awesome of ex-Clinton advisors– Dick Morris. He’d work for anyone just as long as he’s guarenteed a toe sucking hooker. Bring him back
ioksotot23: You left the cap back off the paint thinner can. Open a window.
If he going to go with Clinton retreads, why not Robert Reich rather than the awful Larry Summers? And while Zbigniew Brzezinski is an old fart that everyone on the left hates, he understands that the solution to Iraq and Afghanistan is to leave as quickly as possible, and that letting Israel do whatever it wants isn’t working. I’d take him for secretary of state over any of the likely candidates. The Clintontards really are about half an inch to the left of the Bush administration. If we expect them to get us out of the mess we’re in, it’s truly hopeless.
Why all the hate on the fat chicks?
WadISay: Some parallel universe where the Florida recount worked out different?
That’s why Hopey should invest first in the Hadron Collider. That parallel universe is really our only hope.
NotthatLC[/re]: Y’all need to cut back on the koolaid. The Clitonistas didn’t make the economy work, they just happened to be there. Now they’re going to get extra credit under Hopey because the economy will improve by 2012, regardless of who happens to be at Treasury.
bitchincamaro: The Captain says, “What this world needs is a good two-dollar room and a good two-dollar broom.”
First they need to pick a puppy. Then they can get on with all this “fixing the economy with ex-Clinton-admin rejects” business.
LindsayBluth: Ew. But funny. BTW, Portia de Rossi is hawtt.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Attorney General???? Don’t you need a J.D. for that or something???
SayItWithWookies: Hadn’t thought of Shinseki for SecDef — great idea: a real war hero rather than a “defense intellectual.” Plus, black berets for all!
FreshCliches: Oh, the humanity!
Fat chicks give great BJs, and under the desk is a good place for ‘em.
AngryBlakGuy: May I have “sloppy seconds” on that photo?
V572625694: But SecDef should be somebody from the civilian side, never from the military. It’s a fox and hen house thing, otherwise.
At Defense, I definitely vote for Shinseki.
As AG, perhaps Bobby Kennedy. If he goes after the neocons like his father (grandfather? uncle? Hell, it’s a big family, I sure can’t keep them straight) went after the mafia, sparks could fly.
Or, another possibility that I haven’t heard mentioned yet: Janet Reno. I don’t think she’s doing anything. Anyway, I want to see a pitbull, no lipstick, going after those motherfuckers hard.
At State: How about Al Gore? He apparently doesn’t want to be the Energy dude. He’s got the international stature and connections.
Vilsack at agriculture. Just so Obama won’t be the only one in this administration with a funny name.
hedgehog: WIN.
As historical precedent, his campaign made Hillary’s utterly redundant. Now he’s just rubbing it in by doing the same to her would-be administration.
AngryBlakGuy: John Madden is my 3rd cousin, no kidding. But, unfortunately, I cannot get you Madden 09 or anythign like that. I’m just sayin’. Also, good football analogy. Excellent analysis.
V572625694: At the end of the day the reality is a cliche in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why is it that two small teams of jerks and idiots have formed the entire community of presidential advisors since Nixon? Can we insert some fresh blood or are these people going to continue ruling us like the Brezhnevian gerontocracy 20 years from now?
I dunno… if I really wanted to see a Clinton cabinet again, I’d have voted for another President Clinton.
SelfDeprecatingFed: “This is not a red dick. This is not a blue dick. This is my big black dick!”