Gays To Finally Boycott Mormons

 
  • Foreclosures in October hit 85,000, a 25% increase over the same month last year. [CNN Money]
  • At the Republican Governors Association meeting, attendees agreed they had to come up with a new message, attract a larger demographic of voters, and be competitive in more regions. They also agreed the next president of the United States would be Sarah Palin, so take all of this with a grain of salt. [Washington Post]
  • A crowd of perhaps 10,000 (according to organizers) protested in favor of gay marriage outside a Mormon temple in New York. [AP]
  • George Bush will ask the Group of 20 not to give up on market capitalism, after all it’s done for them. [Bloomberg]
  • A crazy old lady in Evanston, Illinois kept the decomposing bodies of her three siblings in her house for several decades, because why not. [Pioneer Press]
  • Hank Paulson said … some stuff about the bailout … “the markets” did not like it. [New York Times]
Related

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

45 comments

  1. Weeping Jesus

    From the Post article: “She is scheduled to hold a news conference Thursday morning and then give an analysis in a session titled “Looking Towards the Future.” ”

    A Palin analysis? Does anyone know the Guinness record for longest, least comprehensible sentence? Well, get ready to raise the bar.

  2. donner_froh

    The rotting corpse of the bush administration is the political equivalent to the long dead siblings in Evanston. Nice neighborhood, by the way…five or six blocks from an El stop, not far from a lovely beach–no wonder the dead didn’t want to leave.

  3. tonehedge

    Eh!? What was that? 85,000 decomposed mormon corpses were left by Henry Paulson in a House somewhere, and President Bush is pinning the blame on the Mormons so Sarah Palin could be the next Presidential candidate for the repubs in 2012? Eh!? What?

  4. bitchincamaro

    That old lady wasn’t just crazy, she was stupid. The older the survivors got, the less able they were to drag the dead bodies up to the attic. Haha. They should have used the basement. Gravity is our friend, sometimes.

  5. finallyhappy

    There is a protest this Saturday at many Mormon temples and churches around the country. Why can’t we just protest outside a Marriott?

  6. Servo

    “They’re still here” as a location of the deceased + Unusually high density of flies = Get the fuck outta there!

  7. ManchuCandidate

    Alienated most tinted people, the fastest growing segment of US America, for a long time. Check
    Pissed off most edumakated people. Check
    Pissed off many women ‘cept PUMAs with the Palin pick. Check
    Drove off the “intellectuals” in their own party. Check

    When all your base is a bunch of ill educated, close minded, fat, gun and Jeebus bitter cling-ons with a hypocritical love/hate relationship with the same sex there isn’t much room for expansion (except in the waist line.)

  8. ihasasad

    That old lady reminds me of the little vampire girl in ‘Interview with a Vampire’ who kept a grown woman in her bed because she had boobies and the little girl didn’t, or something, even when she got all nasty smellin, you betcha!

  9. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Feh. The crazy lady from Evanston ain’t got nothing compared to Dick Cheney. Vinegar Joe’s in for a really rude surprise when he goes down to the basement of the Naval Observatory on January 21st.

  10. ihasasad

    Also, we need a woman on the ticket because how the hell else are we gonna top this years historic election whosit whatsi that also all the people are cryin and such not.

  11. bitchincamaro

    “…we are increasingly in danger of competing in the mid-Atlantic states…,Pawlenty said. That is not a formula for being a majority governing party in this nation.”

    No wonder the Repubs are over a cliff.

  12. Tommy Says Soooo

    Hahahaha, suck it, teh gayz! The Mormons will just retroactively baptize you when you die! Never bring a peashooter to a gun duel in the afterlife.

  13. JamesMichaelCurley

    But for whom did Elaine B. Bernstorff, Frank A. Bernstorff and Anita Bernstorff vote? This is Cook county, IL. As Mort Sahl famously said, “When I die, I told my executor I want to be buried in Cook County, so I can stay active in politics.”

  14. jagorev

    [re=175504]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I’m pretty sure Vinegar Joe refers to Lieberman. Is he replacing Biden? DailyKos is going to freak.

  15. The Neoskeptic

    i’d like to see wall-to-wall coverage on wonkette of the gay rights issue until it is resolved and we can all have more assfucking same-sex abortion parties

  16. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=175521]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Apparently Wonkette will have to provide turkey basters since the, ahem, same gender thing seems to put a crimp on the fertilization.

  17. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=175518]norbizness[/re]: I blame all the manscaping needed before one looks fetching enough to appear in public. Remember the old maxim: immaculately groomed, politically doomed.

  18. Terry

    Sarah needs to do as many interviews as possible, daily even, for the next four years. That will kill the Republican Party entirely. Then, the true conservatives and moderates can make a new party, the crazies can hide in cabins in the mountains waiting for the Rapture and beating off looking at photos of Palin, and the neo-cons will hide in think tanks and produce books and essays with absolutely no bearing on reality.

  19. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=175520]jagorev[/re]: Whoopsie. My bad. I meant “Gaffey Joe.” Wouldn’t want Kos to have a coronary.

  20. Kinbote

    When the electorate told her that a death certificate was necessary, Palin reportedly told them that she couldn’t do that because “they are still here,” Scheunemann said. “At that point they were hoping it was a dementia type thing rather than what it was,” he said.

  21. Terry

    [re=175507]bitchincamaro[/re]:

    They think they are competitive in the Mid-Atlantic states? Where? Maryland, Delaware, DC, or New Jersey? No way. Virginia, y’all lost that state, GOP. The Mid-Atlantic is blue. They need to try and save their hold in the South.

  22. Sean O

    [re=175492]donner_froh[/re]: There are no nice neighborhoods in Evanston. Just have to wonder how the siblings died: stabbed by the paranoid schizophrenics who wander the street, run over by the drunken yuppies who drive in the street, or from freezing to death in the constant sub-zero conditions.

    (I don’t like Evanston)

  23. memzilla

    Caribou Barbie missed the seminar entitled “An In-Depth Evaluation of the 2008 Election Cycle.” Ah, doomed to repeat history… probably like she had to do in school.

    BTW interesting anagrams of “Sarah Palin” are: “Sharia Plan,” “Anal Parish,” “A Rash Plain,” and “Aha Ran Slip.”

  24. NoWireHangers

    A crazy old lady in Evanston, Illinois kept the decomposing bodies of her three siblings in her house for several decades, because why not.

    I lived in Evanston. Evanston can be mad creepy. This doesn’t surprise me.

  25. Monsieur Grumpe

    Didn’t Obama promise mandatory sterilization of all Mormons? That’s really why I voted for him.

  26. V572625694

    [re=175526]Terry[/re]: Sarah needs to do as many interviews as possible, daily even, for the next four years. That will kill the Republican Party entirely. Then, the true conservatives and moderates can make a new party, the crazies can hide in cabins in the mountains waiting for the Rapture and beating off looking at photos of Palin, and the neo-cons will hide in think tanks and produce books and essays with absolutely no bearing on reality. Also.

    /corrected

  27. OzoneTom

    Mormons are a fine bunch to be telling other people that marriage should be between one man and one woman.

    Heck, they seem to happily co-exist with and protect people who think that is should be one man and many women, or better yet little girls…

    Boycott Marriott and other Mormon businesses that funnel money into the LDS church.

  28. Snarkfest

    Don’t those homersexuals know that the beautiful Angel Moroni, he of the long, shining golden locks, curvaceous legs and delicate hands will swoop down upon them and whack their peepees with his golden rod?

  29. Snarkfest

    Imagine..you grew up in the neighborhood telling spooky ghost stories of the old lady down the street who kept …shiver…bodies.. in the attic. You know, that big, lonely, house everyone doubledogdared each other to Halloween at – or peek through the windows on dark, moonless nights to see if you could see the ‘bodies’?

    Then boom – you find out YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG and the adults you tried to tell this to are idiots after all.

  30. chaste everywhere

    NoWireHangers
    I grew up (more or less) in Evanston (1958-1971). The only surprise for me is that this is the only house they’ve found.

Comments are closed.