Wonkette
He might be a young, callow religious nutball with an unhealthy testicle fixation, but Bobby Jindal is not dumb! This spring when everybody was cold speculatin’ about whether he’d be selected for Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Bobby Jindal was busy slowly backing away from the tragic band of idiots known as the McCain campaign.
All the way over in Louisiana, Jindal could smell the fragrant stink of doom wafting off these people:
Jindal was approached by McCain forces to gauge his interest in the vice presidency and told them he was not interested in being vetted due to his desire to continue on with his current job, to which he was elected just one year ago.
While the official reason that Jindal took his name out of contention was his lack of a desire to leave the Louisiana governorship, there was also real trepidation within his political inner circle that Jindal might wind up as the pick — McCain was attracted to his comprehensive health-care knowledge — and be caught up in what they believed to be a less-than-stellar campaign that could pin a loss on Jindal without much ability to change or control the direction of the contest.
So now Jindal can run for President in 2012, free of the taint of the last election’s failure, and ready to chart his own bold path as a loser in his own right.
Jindal: Never Vetted for VP [The Fix]
Free of taint? Eww…old man taint…icky…
Plus he knew that he would never survive the vast and comprehensive vetting process. Or wait?
On the plus side, he will win all the 7-Eleven coffee cup polls, especially in Delaware.
Then again, he might’ve been able to exorcize McCain’s demons.
Jindal gettin’ with a member of ZZ top, Cindy smooching some ponytailed 80’s singer… WHAT is HAPPENING??
hehe….she said taint
Sorry, Jindal, but the party of “macaca” don’t let wimmens or coloreds drive teh bus. They’ll torpedo your primary run for some standard loser WASP, then pick you for #2 to prove they’re not biggots, then lose again.
Haha.
He seems like quite the strange card. No?
…judging by the turnout at Sarah Palin rallies he wouldn’t have gotten very far in this race anyways.
Well, what did you think? You don’t get to be the top Buddha-worshipping Mulsin terrorist in the GOP by being stupid, Wonkette. You do it by selling out your race and religious beliefs.
…then have the morans at GOP Monster-TrukNutz rallies wondering if he’s Harold or Kumar…
AngryBlakGuy: win
…I wonder if during the 2012 primary elections if Sarah Palin is going to accuse Bobby Jindal of palling around with terrorist?
Would have loved to see the vetting process.
“By the 7 arms of Visnu, I swear it. I am not a Hindu.”
Instead …
“Mr. McCain, I–I cannot go there. That would be the scene of my spiritual depantsing.”
Here we see Governer Jindal and Emmet Rondelle, a swamp-dweller, preparing to hand-castrate Hugh Heffner for both polluting our nation’s male youth with smut AND for outrageously cancelling Mr. Rondelle’s subscription after Mr. Rondelle had repeatedly sent full payments in Rondellars - shredded beer cans stamped with gator-blood-and-dried-beard-spittle ink. Because Mr. Heffner had been “pre-balmed” with botox and formalin, he was not a candidate for the chemical castration.
Jindal will never be free of the taint until every man in Louisiana is castrated.
I too would rather stay in LA than be on the Straight Talk Express.
He was scared to be McCain’s scapegoat? What an Exorsissy.
“Apu, thanks for selling me that expired baby food for a nickle off.”
Down here in Louisiana he’s got an over 70% approval rating. Even I have mixed feelings about the guy. Sure he’s a Jesus obsessed hardcore conservative who possibly wants to destroy New Orleans so he can use its resources to grow that fetid pile of suburbia known as Baton Rouge but at least he’s intelligent and moral/nice in the nutso church-going way. Thats not something we can say about most of our politicians.
I’m kinda hoping he’d be the nominee in 2012 just to watch all the rednecks heads’ explode when they’re faced with voting either a black guy or an Indian guy. There goes the GOP base.
AngryBlakGuy: I’m expecting Moosetard to run an attack ad against Jindal in the primaries:
Ominous voiceover: “What is “Bobby” Jindal hiding… and why is he hiding it? How can we trust a man who won’t even use his REAL FIRST NAME? Piyush Hussein Jindal, what ELSE are you hiding?!?!?!?”
“McCain was attracted to his comprehensive health-care knowledge” aka he’s a brown.
An alternate picture for future stories.
I greatly admire what Jindal has managed to accomplish, however, speaking as one who is currently watching coworkers being picked off one by one in favor of outsourcing the work to India, I can’t say that his image would have played well with a pretty angry sector of workers in the US. No, it makes no sense, given that Bobby is as American as the next guy, but it’s simply the way it would work. In the workplace, Indians are the new Muslins.
Cool now he’s got an extra 4 years to squeeze in a few more exorcisms. And maybe bite the head off a chicken or something.
Somebody fill me in here about Jindal’s lineage; did he spring forth from the cow worshipping, sweet poor India? Or was it the arranged-marriage-to-the-daughter-of-your-father’s-business-adversary and I-will-spend-$20K-on-fireworks-for-my-oldest-son’s-13th-birthday-party India?
NoWireHangers: Uh, if he won Louisianna, he must have a way with the racists…
See? The elder Bush has no problem meeting with Ahmadinejad. I’m not quite sure why he brought along the bass player from ZZ Top, though. I guess diplomacy is a tricky business.
Hooray For Anything: obfuscator: 2012 is going to be the most entertaining year of any of our lifetimes. It’s kind of sad knowing we’ll peak so early.
JINDAL-PALIN IN 2012!
AHACHCAHAHCHCACHGHAGHGHAHGHAGH!!!!
C-5: Will a Jindal/Palin battle play out like a superfucked version of the Barry/Hillz primary?? Oh god please make it happen that way. Toddster can play the Bill Clinton role and use the phrase “Red dot or feather?” at various times during campaign rallies.
gmauer@gmail.com: I was down in Baton Rouge just last week, and the “fetid pile of suburbia” description is SO DAMN TRUE. If Bobby J really wanted to impress me, though, he’d focus some of his energy on drowning the industrial wasteland between Morgan City and Lafayette.
Man, the 2012 Republican primaries are gonna be a hilarious clusterfuck. Something tells me that so long as Obama’s still popular in 2 years, Jindal is gonna lay low till 2016. Frankly, the GOP would be stupid to blow their load and run him against a popular incumbent.
IS MC CAIN LUV CHILD!!!!!!!
grendel: Winning Louisiana doesn’t mean you win the Presidency. Talk to Sarah Palin about being a popular Governor. Jindal legalized castration in Louisiana. I’m sure that’ll appeal to wide swath of moderate voters in a National election.
Between Gov Dumbass Clothes Horse Palin (Snake Handling Pentacostals), Mittens (Morons) and Exorcist Jindal (Kiddie Diddling/Condoms for none Catholics), the next Republican Convention is going to be a religious war in the making.
Jindal v. Obama, what’s a bitter to do?
Mortianna must have warned him about the Painted Man.
ManchuCandidate: Please don’t forget Huck and Newt. I was hoping for a Palin/Jindal Creationist party myself.
obfuscator: Hopefully, though we’d be in for a whole hell of a lot of Jesus. Remember that nauseating debate where all the GOP candidates just talked about how much they wanted to sleep with Reagan? It would be like that times 1000 except with Jesus instead of Reagan; especially when Palin started accusing Jindal of wanting to sacrifice virgins on top of volcanoes or something.
Saddam was known for “Chemical Ali” and Jindal pals around with Louisiana’s famous “Chemical Castration Bill.”
Ok, so the Republican primaries in 2012 are basically down to a woman, a Mormon, and a Catholic Indian-American?
HAHAHAHAHA OMG I can’t wait. It will be like the 2008 Democratic primaries all over again, except everyone voting in it will be from West Virginia, metaphorically.
Bobby Jindal Dodged A Bag of Dicks In ‘08.
Fixed.
answerbird: If it’s Bobby vs. Barry, I’m afraid that RON PAUL 2012 will win 86% of the white vote.
Gorillionaire: His parents were both grad students (just like Barry’s parents). And he worked at McKinsey. So I guess he comes from the nerdy/hardworking part of India. Basically, he’s another of those uppity “elitists” (read: coloreds) that Sarah Palin detests so much.
Here’s hoping that, one way or the other, we’ll have a nerdy smart guy for President over the next 8/12 years.
Jindal’s probably a pedophile or something. Who knows exactly what? But nobody can deny he has the crazy eyes. He even scares them.
I found their candidate for 2012
It’s this little fucker, the political equivalent of the antichrist.
http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/2105/alteredpoolbaby3ag5.jpg
gmauer@gmail.com: I hope he helps New Orleans. N.O. is all Louisiana’s got. And btw, wasn’t it disgusting how unwelcoming Baton Rouge was of New Orleanians after Katrina? And how it tried shunning NOLA all together thereafter? That is until it realized that it can’t survive without NOLA. Baton Rouge is the dingleberry that NOLA can’t get rid of.
Jindal is a tool of Big Curry. http://kandabatata.wordpress.com/2007/10/23/piyush-jindal-thanks-india-for-her-support/
answerbird: Hindoo vs. Muslim. Can America survive?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Good point.If Jindal makes it to the election, it’ll look too much that the Republicans are outsourcing their campaign to an Indian.
Jindal 2012 has begun. As we speak, Jindal has a camera crew tailing him, hoping to get Biden to order a Slurpee from him on camera.
Another perspective on why Bobby Jindal said “No thanks” to McCain’s offer to ruin him: http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/11/louisiana-gov-bobby-jindal-declines.html
norbizness: I was thinking something like this.
Reuters had a cooler picture, but I couldn’t find it in Google.
But actually that was just my halloween costume this year.
OzoneTom: Oh duh, here’s the one that I was looking for…
I read an article in the CSMonitor back when he was running for guv, but I can’t recall if he is Hindu or Christian.
If he runs we will all, of course, work our asses off photoshopping him in giant turbans like the guy into the picture above and totally putting him into weird Hindu ceremonies.
And, of course, carry a red felt marker with us to put a dot on the forehead of any poster we see with this guy featured.
It’ll be fun–making up shit about how he wants to outsource America to Indian overlords, who will insist that Americans all become vegetarians and quit eating beef. Cows will roam freely in our communities. Farmers and Ranchers will be prosecuted as murderers if they raise anything but soybeans. Sweet Jesus, (something heathen Bobby J would never say) I could sit here all day and think up smears about this guy.
Wow–should we begin now, or wait until he officially announces to torpedo his future?