How many times has John McCain told this awful joke about sleeping like a baby? (He goes to sleep for two hours and wakes up crying, wokka wokka.) Answer: ONE MILLION TIMES. But now that he is not threatening to run our country, he does not seem so terrible! He is a pleasant, sassy older gentleman, the distant relative you like sitting next to at Thanksgiving dinner, until he has one too many glasses of sherry and starts telling you about the hot Jewess he dated back in Casablanca, during the war. [The Tonight Show]
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Not only does he wake up crying every two hours but he also has a load in his diaper.
Are you kidding, I could listen to Walnuts’ HOT CASABLANCA JEWESS stories all day, it’s when he starts dozing off and farting and spraying bits of mashed-potato spittle that I’m worried about
HENNNNGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
No, Sara. He has told the joke FIVE AND A HALF TIMES (during one attempt he stumbled on the delivery and the bit died).
Hot Jewesses! That’s what Walnuts gets for Joe Franklin and Sarah Silverman.
I have lost my snark with this guy. While I respect those who serve our country in the military, knowing how completely inept he was tarnishes the image. I’m sure grandpa is very proud.
Plus, he’s a crazy old racists misogynist.
Jay Leno does a good impression of a bitter. “Well Barack Obama, he’s an arab, or a terrorist”
Plus, he has to get a wet nurse in the middle of the night to feed him; god knows Cindy can’t produce anything except powdered milk.
If find WALNUTS! pretty tolerable now that he has been smote and vanquished by the righteous. Joke on loser, at least you’re not President.
Leno is such a great fit for Walnuts. The show’s demographics fit his supporters so well: old, white, and humorless. Letterman’s demos are a bit too edgy: also old and white, but slightly sassier, like a pinch of pepper added onto an otherwise bland plate of scrambled eggs. Conan, forget it – you’re getting so edgy and hip that the eggs have become a spinach and arugula quiche.
Newsflash WALNUTS! Your campaign got sleazy. That’s why you lost. You sold your soul to Karl Rove for a chance to win and you lost. At least you’ll always have a pocketful of Werther’s Original.
[re=174396]pondscum[/re]: Never forget!
Oh WALNUTS!, don’t ever leave us.
He’s such a celebrity. Such an Andy Dick kind of celebrity.
So gramps held a gun (Sarah Palin) to America’s head and we’re laughing it up with Leno. Yeehaw.
How long is the freakin’ McCain/Palin post-election pity party going to last? Just askin’ here, because if it goes on much longer, it will deserve its own HBO channel, like the golf channel, only without all the excitement.
I once dated a girl with a pleasant, sassy grandfather who I was given the honor of being seated next to at Thanksgiving dinner. At one point during the conversation we each appeared to be trying to avoid, he leaned over, gave me a knock on the shoulder, showed a blemish on the back of his hand and said, “This here? That’s my cancer.” My girlfriend, sensing what was next, squeaked, “Grampa, no.” He continued, “Had it m’ balls once too.” Now everyone was yelling at Grampa for his revelation, and scowling at me for the very poor attempts I was making at holding back laughter. (Shoving a turkey leg in your mouth does not work. It only makes you look like Jerry Lewis and thus like you’re trying to make a mockery of the situation. And what more insulting way to make a mockery than with a Jerry Lewis impersonation?)
He’s not racist, guyz, didn’t you see him hug Kevin, who happens to be black?? OBVIOUSLY he’s not racist.
Um, also, he looks super skinny compared to like two weeks ago–has he been purging since the election?
All I ask is that they don’t make a fucking movie called “McCain/Leno” like they just did about “Nixon/Frost”
Elect Johnny Walnuts president of the Friars Club. He could lead Henny Youngman and Shecky Green boldly into the 19th century.
It’s amazing how you start to reassess someone when he isn’t sweatily standing over your country, undoing his belt and talking about the ‘real good time he’s gonna show America’. Democracy is funny that way.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Did he make an “accident” (as in a Depends moment) joke in there, or was I reading into it?
[re=174405]NoWireHangers[/re]: No, he was going to lose anyway. Going sleazy is why Walnuts lost his soul, tarnished his image, and put the final nail in the Reagan era.
[re=174418]WadISay[/re]: I completely agree that sitting shiva on McCain/Palin is a runaway train. They of course don’t have the common sense to come in out of the rain (hey, guys, you LOST). NBC, unlike some of GE’s other networks, was not particularly Obama-friendly, especially The Great Mushmouth Brokaw. I can understand David Brooks needing to wear black for a week, but Jay Leno is a joke too far (please do not become Bob Hope in your dotage, Jay). GE has important customers in the military to appease, and the schmoozing directive could well have come from corporate. And McCain relies on publicity to keep his Senate seat, because Arizona Republicans despise him. What Mooselini’s motivation is escapes me — the more she talks, the cooler a prospect she becomes. She should wait for the bathing suit competition; it’s more her speed (though what anyone could find attractive there escapes me). Good bye already!
First, you are an idiot Jay Leno. What do you THINK McCain was going to say when someone called him an Arab to his face? She should have just shouted it or alluded to it on a Fox News 5-minute interview.
Second, no, Mac is really lame and uncool. He’s like the old family friend at the Thanksgiving table that thinks his bland stories are hip and relatable, and that he could relate so long as he self-deprecatingly refers to himself as something very old-tymey, like an “old fart.” Johnny, if your wife weren’t the c-word (your words), I’d feel bad for how lame you act.
Thanks for fighting that pointless war and needlessly getting tortured for it, though.
Breaking! The new cut-nut? This Alaskan hockey-playing Minnesota college student was punched by an Obama supporting black woman, just for wearing a McCain button (and pushing her). Annie Grossmann could be the new Ashley Todd! With photos!
Saw that new Angelina Jolie movie “Changeling” last night. Pure Oscar-bait period (1928 LA) piece with Ms Biglips trying to look like an unglamorous telephone operator…
Wait, what? McCain was on Leno last night? Wow, now I don’t feel like I wasted $19 (brought our own popcorn and water, of course).
[re=174441]Come here a minute[/re]: again??? Jesus where do they find all these repub nutballs?
Just like Palin, trying to fit in now and be relevant: “I for one welcome our new Kenyan overlords …”
[re=174441]Come here a minute[/re]: Oh, she’s from Delta Junction, and plays hockey. Too delicious. Look on Google Earth or Google Maps to see where Delta Junction is, and you’ll understand everything.
Even though this is not about Jay Leno, I would like to announce that there has been newly created another Republican Site for Feedback! I verily learned it whilst undercover at the Ron Paul Forums ((shudder)). Beware, they also speak of building Wonkette Traps!
Who knows if this is true, but it’s tasty nonetheless:
http://gawker.com/5084287/cindy-mccain-in-kissing-other-man-at-moody-blues-show-shock
[re=174442]V572625694[/re]:
Thanks for the warning. I won’t waste my money to see either Mr. or Mrs. Liverlips’ ridiculous attempts at acting.
[re=174453]NoWireHangers[/re]: Shocking that she goes to Moody Blues concerts! Anything can happen in that kind of crowd. Any pictures of her in the mosh pit? Did she rush the stage? Hold up a Bic?
[re=174453]NoWireHangers[/re]:
when the music plays
when the words are touched with sorrow
etc.
once a upon a time, in your wildest dreamssssss…
[re=174437]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: True. Who ever could have foreseen that he would revert to backslapping, chucklehead and heroic, stentorian voice of wisdom and experience, after his devisive, mean, negative, dishonest shit-tornado of a campaign (plus dangerous, if you count putting Sarah Palin anywhere near the nuclear trigger)?
[re=174462]obfuscator[/re]: Hahahahaha, i was humming this song when i read it at Gawker. Cindy the Moody Blues road whore.
[re=174452]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Re the Wonkette traps, honest, the trucknutz thing was a little over the top. Some suggestion for rebuilding the Republican Party involving whore diamonds might slip under the radar, though.
[re=174468]HuskyMescan[/re]: I hope Cindy breathlessly whispered to him, “You’re my knight in white satin… “, because that would make me happy.
Huffpo reports Cindy had an affair. HAHAHAHAHA! It came from the Enquirer, so it has to be true.
Well, sleeping like a baby is moderately better for Walnuts than sleeping like a corpse. I guess when you are that old you really need to return to the feral state.
I have a hard time respecting him after that horrid campaign he ran. I’m so glad you’re over it McCain but you left a large mass of ugly, racist, fear-mongering, ignorant people in your wake who still believe the lies your campaign posed as truth. So now you call for unity but that’s not what your supporters want. So thanks for that, you fucking racist, do anything to win loser!
[re=174441]Come here a minute[/re]: Dead give away for Cut Nut status – she refused medical treatment.
It’s all good. John can stop pretending he’s a racist evangelist and Barry can stop pretending he’s bi-partisan.
I love this guy. Diabeetus!
[re=174599]jodyleek[/re]: …and was treated the following day by her hockey team trainer. She’s the daughter of a hockey mom, who “has met with Palin for government business purposes and sent her daughter Palin campaign T-shirts.”
[re=174441]Come here a minute[/re]: One approached me and got in my face and called me racist because I had the pin on. That really ticked me off, but I kind of left it alone because she was so much bigger than I am,” said Grossmann. She is 5 feet 2 and weighs 120 pounds, and played boys high school hockey in Alaska. “The girls in the background were just a little bigger than me. They were mocking me from the sidelines.
Why isn’t the hockey coach recruiting in that dorm? Everybody is bigger than this bitch.
McCain would have done better with this woman as his VP.
http://www.raiders.com/Raiderettes/CheerleaderBio.aspx?id=19576
And to be honest, she really is better qualified than Palin.
[re=174697]Cape Clod[/re]: The majority of the Raiderettes look to be more qualified than Caribou Barbie.
Forgive and forget? After he and that Palin thingee tried to incite people to KILL Obama? You must be joking. He is not harmless, he has proven how dangerous he truly is, and to suddenly forget that fact because he lost, is sheer stupidty.
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