• May 26, 2012
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November 11, 2008

John Edwards To Break Silence After Huge $$$$ Offer

by Jim Newell  

Vulgar sex clown John Edwards is ending a three-month public silence tonight with a lecture of sorts at Indiana University. He will discuss politics for a cool $35,000, which is more than many American adults make in a year of manual labor. Then he will probably go to Iowa to get them ground ops all geared up for 2012! He’s gotta win it one of these days! [Indiana Daily Student]

{ 40 comments }

StephanieInCA November 11, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Why is he standing next to Darrel from The Office?

NoWireHangers November 11, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Shit, Son of a Millworker’s gotta pay the billz, yo.

Violenza November 11, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Dammit, I really liked him. What a turd. Goodbye, John Edwards. Hope Elizabeth divorces your ass, though the chances of that seem to be fading. I would like someone to take him to the fucking cleaners, in more way than one.

ManchuCandidate November 11, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Will somebody ask why he couldn’t land someone better looking that Riehl? Was the crazy head worth that?

soytrucknutz November 11, 2008 at 3:01 pm

He’s starting a new political party with Vito Fossella, they’re called the “Know-Many-Thangs” and their top tax agenda is that you get to claim yourself as the head of more than one household on your taxes.

Tommy Says Soooo November 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Instead of rubber chicken, they will be serving Rielle’s Boiled Bunny.

Vanity Smurf November 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Why would anybody ever care to hear anything from a guy who is too stupid to keep from getting his mistress pregnant? Go away you preternaturally coiffed twit. Go away.

Heywood Floyd November 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Indiana co-eds will get a tough lesson learning what “lecture of sorts” means to this guy.

Voyou Charmant November 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=173389]Violenza[/re]: It’s not THAT big of a deal. Calm down. Lots of people cheat. It’s not ok, but I’ll be damned if it has any impact on how he did/would govern.

[re=173390]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Crazy chicks are fun in bed. They get freaky like fat girls but without.. ya know, all that fat.

Anyhow.

I would still go watch him speak.

shanemcgowan November 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm

$35,000 is 87.5 haircuts.

StripesAndPlaids November 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Hey John Edwards, I’d like my donation back, you silly, silly man. I hope you use that $35K to do something good for this country.

NoWireHangers November 11, 2008 at 3:10 pm

[re=173390]ManchuCandidate[/re]: If Bubba has taught us anything it’s that it’s not about the looks of your mistress, but her ability to polish your knob ego.

wx insider November 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I’m sure the IU campus is a “Land of Opportunity” for him. Look at all the coeds he can bonk!

Serolf Divad November 11, 2008 at 3:19 pm

I’m very offended that Wonkette and all you losers think Edwards does these talks for the money. He clearly does it for all the easy pussy that shows up to his talks.

pepe November 11, 2008 at 3:20 pm

What’s with all the John Edwards hate here? Let’s remember that before John Edwards, neither Hopey nor Hillary were talking about health care or poverty. If not for John Edwards and his spotlight on inequality and the crisis of health care, Obama might not even be president-elect right now. And if Edwards hadn’t done so well in Iowa this year, relegating Hillary to third, she might have been the nominee and lost handily to Walnuts and Romney.

So he had an affair. So what? His personal life is not of interest to me. I love Liz Edwards too. I wish she’d run for president. But I don’t hate John Edwards because he cheated on her.

John has a lot to offer in his fight against poverty. I hope there is a place for him in the Obamadministration.

FreshCliches November 11, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Note to Hillz:

New cash flow opportunity here. Let’s cultivate this one as well.

Yours etc.,
Mark Penn

pourmecoffee November 11, 2008 at 3:23 pm

“hope there is a place for him in the Obamadministration.” Infidelitor General?

War Eagle November 11, 2008 at 3:24 pm

Is it just me, or has Johnny Boy lost his youthful good looks? I’m thinking fewer IU co-eds and more middle-aged social work grad students.

And, yeah, crazy chicks can be good fun, but you gotta be prepared for drama.

hedgehog November 11, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Those love children ain’t cheap.

pondscum November 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm

Oh, fine. He cancels on Illinois claiming he didn’t want to distract from the election and now he’s going to Indiana? It’s a Big Ten conspiracy.

nutshell king November 11, 2008 at 3:29 pm

[re=173425]pepe[/re]: John has a lot to offer in the fight against poverty? Sure. He could empty his bank account and go live in a single-wide trailer somewhere in Alamance County, cooking pork-n-beans on a hot plate.

Until that happens, I say pillory the vain, saltless cracker.

psychedelicSludge November 11, 2008 at 3:29 pm

… I did not have kidz with that woman …

WadISay November 11, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=173390]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I don’t know whether it was worth it, but I am guessing the sex was pretty fan-fookin-tastic. Rielle brought teh Crazy.

pepe November 11, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=173436]nutshell king[/re]: Oh yeah, his best path to fighting institutional poverty is being penniless himself. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Miller November 11, 2008 at 3:32 pm

His speech is title “The Land of Opportunity”. I think lesson one is “If you actually want those opportunities, my suggestion would be to not fuck around on your cancer stricken wife.” How fast can a man run from adultery questions with a giant $35,000 novelty check?

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

pourmecoffee November 11, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I understand Rielle had a “Two Americas” routine she did for him. In one, she gave him the sex he got at home only blonder. In the other, she did a lot of crazy, awesome poor people sexy stuff.

nutshell king November 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm

[re=173440]pepe[/re]: Never bothered him when he was taking donations from poor folk, and using that money to pay Rielle to videotape his inane ramblings about how much teh poverty sux.

Oh I can’t even snark properly about this man.

Rush November 11, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Him so hooornee, love him long time.

monty November 11, 2008 at 3:42 pm

FUCK MOREMOMS

23 Skidoo November 11, 2008 at 3:45 pm

I vouched for this oily douchebag every chance I had. When he felt a little Riehl was not only worth emotionally scarring and humiliating his wife in her precarious position, but also risking the rest of his brilliant political career, he crossed into “go fuck yourself” territory. The only good thing I can say for him is at least he didn’t touch any children or cock in general, otherwise I guess he would have to change his party affiliation. But seriously, just go away.

llyn November 11, 2008 at 3:56 pm

[re=173425]pepe[/re]: Thanks, Pepe, for speaking up for Edwards, which you did far more eloquently than I could have done. Plus, I believe you’re right about his candidacy changing the political conversation to topics far more relevant to our daily lives. For that I am grateful.

iaro November 11, 2008 at 4:07 pm

I can’t think about John Edwards anymore. I used to be a die-hard Edwards supporter during his candidacies in ’04 and ’07, and held out on Obama for him. Then, he went for some dumb New Age flake, probably with the usual Clintonian reasoning. He could’ve been so much, and he threw it away.

Mr. Herpes November 11, 2008 at 6:48 pm

We should pass the hat and send Ashley Todd a ticket to the next Edwards event. Those two deserve each other. She pretended to be attacked and he pretended to care about his wife.

gidgetbananas November 11, 2008 at 7:21 pm

What iaro said . . . but on the other hand, who cares? Edwards lost, and he didn’t have a chance of a comeback even before Rielle raised her crazy little head.

Vewol Mevemont November 11, 2008 at 7:37 pm

[re=173425]pepe[/re]: By Edwards’ “fight for poverty,” do you mean Edwards’ cynical strategy to get elected? And what ever happened to the “Anti-poverty Center” nonprofit he set up as soon as he started running for prez? Oh, that’s right, he shut it down as soon as the Rielle Hunter flap destroyed his political chances of running again. http://harpers.org/archive/2008/08/hbc-90003382.

What a turd.

gliberal November 11, 2008 at 8:27 pm

Goodbye boyish good looks and carefully tousled hair. Hello hard-bitten divorce litigant and mansion screamer.

JuiceMe November 11, 2008 at 10:01 pm

That picture totally reminds me of a kid in 7th grade. Right before he got his ass kicked. Eliza is one smart lady – I’ll bet she verbally pulled his truck nutz right off.

Another pol in the trash can of history.

BobLoblawLawBlog November 11, 2008 at 11:28 pm

[re=173425]pepe[/re]: You need a serious dose of Truck Nutz.

This kills me. That idiot finally breaks his silence and who picks up the story? CNN? The Times? The librul basement-bloggers at HuffPo? Nope. Straight to the Indiana Daily Student. BWAH!!

schvitzatura November 12, 2008 at 4:34 am

Philandering speaker fee discount:

The Union Board knocked off $15,000 from the proposal after Edwards admitted to his affair in August.

Coulda, woulda been fi’ty large. 30% discount. On all future earnings.

Extracurricular strange, she sure do take a bite out of the paycheck, don’t she boys!

oy vey November 12, 2008 at 10:25 am

he’s missing an opportunity…he could get $100k per appearance if he Rielle, and the baby went on tour!

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