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All you people have already read American Wife, right? If you did, you already know the “secret ending” to Laura Bush’s memoirs, which involves a Venezuelan sex orgy and nuclear war. But for those fans who can’t get enough of the First Lady, she will pen an Official Account of her life. The tentative title is Why Nice Librarians Should Not Marry Ignorant Clowns.

Mrs. Bush has been talking to publishers who are bidding on her memoirs. Industry insiders speculate that she will get way more for her book than her husband will for his, due to the fact that nobody ever wants to hear from that awful douchebag ever again.

Plus, Laura Bush is a practiced hand at book-writing, having co-written a children’s book with her daughter Jenna, the drunk one. The book is a secret parable about George W. Bush; in the story, a lazy young man gets AIDS and is eaten by a caterpillar.

Laura Bush to publish memoirs before President George W Bush [Telegraph]

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