He’s Measuring The Drapes!

  • The incumbent president and first lady got a tour of the White House from its current occupants, thus participating in a venerable American tradition of awkward home tours. [China Daily]
  • The president of the Maldives wants to save money so that when his tiny island nation eventually sinks beneath the sea due to climate change, they have a new place to live. Every nation on Earth should be doing this so that we can all move to Mars someday. [CNN]
  • President-elect Obama wants an auto industry bailout, while President Bush wants a free trade agreement with Colombia. [New York Times]
  • In an extended interview with Fox News, Sarah Palin said she had no regrets about the 2008 presidential campaign, and she hopes God will “show her the door” to the presidency. [Guardian]
  • If President Obama wants to close down Guantanamo, he faces many practical and legal complications. [BBC News]
  • The federal “rescues” of AIG and Fannie Mae have not really helped them. [Washington Post]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith
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  1. loganmo

    I still think Palin is just one of 9/11uliani’s drag personas…can’t you just see that rat look in her face?

  2. V572625694

    ‘Cause when we have free trade w/Columbia, they’ll buy all those Pontiac Aztecs and Hummers, thereby saving Detroit. Oh, Chimpy….we’re going to miss you so much.

  3. Texan Bulldoggette

    Wow, the China Daily was the only paper that covered Barry & Michelle’s visit to the White House? Where were the librul US elite media during this visit?? Erecting their Barry shrines in their newsrooms??

  4. Schadenfried

    :::pulls Sarah aside:::. Sarah dear, God showed you the door, but he closed it. But he did open a nice little 50 story window for you over there.

  5. jagorev

    [re=172905]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Only the Chinese can afford to have reporters any more. Our entire media industry is going bankrupt, haven’t you heard?

  6. memzilla

    We should all donate to Caribou Barbie’s 2012 presidential run as a way to ensure that Hopey’s in office for *another* 4 years. Political jujitsu, as it were.

    Or she could just run as President of Appalachia, the only region that went more Republican than 2004.

  7. bitchincamaro

    I say we move Detroit to Guantanamo. You cannot believe the rust-buckets Detroiters are driving now. Cuba’s got all those classic Motor City boulevard barges and stuff isn’t falling off of them at all.

  8. 4tehlulz

    [re=172912]jagorev[/re]: It’s been bankrupt since 1992…

    Oh wait you meant financially. Never mind.

  9. psychedelicSludge

    “One day this rather odd chap hopped into my office. He’d been to see virtually everyone in the business and been shown the door. He asked to see my door, but I wouldn’t show it to him. Instead he showed me the tapes and photographs of the Rutles. They were pretty rough but they had something. I think it was the trousers.” – http://www.rutlemania.org/WBbooklet2.html

  10. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=172917]memzilla[/re]: I will definitely chip in a few Hopey bucks. In reality, it’s seed money for the fundie versus Mormon versus Gingrich Third Wife Cause the Second One is Dying Olympics.

    That will leave them so exhausted no one will notice we have been living under sharia law for four years.

  11. Weeping Jesus

    Oh, sweet moses. Sarah says to Matt Lauer today: “I have nothing but honor and admiration for McCain… it’s mutual… we touch base almost every day…”

    Uh…er…. Can we get an over and under on when this woman will go stark raving mad?

  12. monty

    wow thats so weird, my nutz were sweatin the other day and god opened a window for me and heavenly breezes blew up the leg of my shortsshortsshorts and his blessings bestowed relief on what could have been a serious chafe situation. rejoice FTW!!

  13. Viva la Cynthia

    Hey guyz, Sarah mentioned Wonkette in that interview!:

    Although it was the not very liberal Fox News which made the Africa claim, Palin pinned much of the blame for the damaging allegations against her on the liberal commentators she refers to as “those bloggers in their parents’ basement just talkin’ garbage”

    Say hi to your mother for me, if I may quote Mark Wahlberg.

  14. monty

    [re=172928]Weeping Jesus[/re]: just because he called her and said piss off c**t they touch base ALMOST everyday

  15. Heywood Floyd

    Bush is gearing up for a massive coke binge for Jan. 21st. (And planning for his financial future. The markets killed him, so he’ll need to start bringing in those cocaine dollars again and doesn’t want to deal with pesky trade barriers. Too bad Barry Seal is with us no longer.)

  16. ella

    “I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere…I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door.”

    How did we let such eloquence slip through our fingers?

  17. messickc (ROLL TIDE!)

    [re=172969]messickc (ROLL TIDE!)[/re]: Wow.. that was Palinese for

    The only door I hope Palin’s god shows her is the one straight to hell.

  18. Canuckledragger

    I’m already sick of comparisons of Hopey to Kennedy. Hopey just measures the drapes. JFK made sure the carpet matched them.

    I’m also sick of yanqui mispronuniciations. It’s not CAM-a-lot. It was CAME-a-lot.

    Dumb fucks.

  19. kapish

    Forget us all moving to Mars. Titan is where its at.
    Plenty beach front condos still available.
    Meantime, I say give those island people Oklahoma.

  20. ivenson

    [re=172936]monty[/re]: McCain: “Who is this? Do I know you? I don’t know you…PRANK CALL…PRANK CALL!!!!”

  21. x111e7thst

    [re=172928]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Jesus Spice has been touching Walnuts’ base? Does Mrs Walnuts know about this?

  22. ivenson

    Of course, Sarah bein’ Sarah…talkin’ ’bout bein’ independant. Also John McCain…you have to mention him alot. And complimenting the interviewer being something that we always…because it’s amazing that, with the interview being so friendly, and it shows you how this style of talkin’ wasn’t because she was, you know, nervous. Like, maybe always talkin’ with no concept of where the sentence might take ya…because it’s like an adventure!

    Oh, and also, it’s nice to see another asshat republican say that they have NEVER changed their opinion on anything. Rockheads.

  23. Grimnir

    “Palin pinned much of the blame for the damaging allegations against her on the liberal commentators she refers to as “those bloggers in their parents’ basement just talkin’ garbage”.

    Ken, Jim, tell your moms to give you an extra cookie tonight before they tuck you in tonight. You deserve it.

  24. S.Luggo

    [re=173073]dcgrrl[/re]: They’ll see it once Dick is finished having the Phantom Zone recarpeted. The guy is such a stickler.

  25. Mara47

    Sarah, Sarah, Sarah/ You don’ need no steenkeen God. Wonketeers can show you the doors, and you won’t even have to ask on bended knee.

  26. populucious

    And God said “Sarah, you must not go to the White House. You must high thee back to Wasilla tout suite, before I smite thee’s ass.” and Sarah said “You must be Satan, cuz you’re not telling me what I want to hear! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

  27. napalmnacey

    [re=173487]populucious[/re]: At which time God face-palmed and said, “What the fucketh hath I wrought?!”

Comments are closed.