Wonkette
Completely unfamous father of Alaska’s Sarah Palin, Charles “Chuck” Heath, said his dingbat daughter “spent part of the weekend going through her clothing to determine what belongs to the Republican Party after it spent $150,000-plus on a wardrobe for the vice presidential nominee.” We all know how onerous a process determining whether an article is moose wool or Italian wool can be, but here’s a simple test: does it have some sort of shine, Sarah? Does the name tag say “Bob’s Shirts ‘n’ Dungarees” or something greasy, like “Schiaparelli”? Chuck Heath added, “She was just frantically … trying to sort stuff out … That’s the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for.” So he’s saying that not only do the Palin children lose their underwear, but the RNC bought the Palin kids some sleek Italian underwear. Which, again, they lost. [AP]
She be stone cold sortin’.
But there is some moose chili on the stove, so everything is normal…
Those kids just really have to hate their fucking life.
Especially Bristol, cause you know she was the one who convinced her mom that it was normal for kids to lose their underwear. And now she has to have a baby and marry a redneck.
Too bad all of Bristol’s undies were edible.
Those kids will get mental problems if they go back to school in Alaska with Neiman-Marcus underwear. Even if no one can see it. Give it back, Sarah, unless you want all your kids on Abilify.
Like, so, um, what happens to these clothes that do belong to the RNC? Do they save them for the NEXT VP candidate that is a ditzy “hot librarian”ish person? Sell them to the Smithsonian? Donate it to charity so that homeless ladeez of DC can wear Neiman Marcus specials? And, what about deodorant marks? I’m sure she sweat through that pink blazer from the Couric interview. She might have even had some leakage problem in the pee pee category. It’s difficult to squeeze out 5 kids and have full control over your bladder, so I hear. One little unexpected sneeze and POOF! there goes your fine woolen pencil skirts.
Sorry for the gory details. But these are legitimate concerns for America. Doncha think?
What’s the big deal?
I lost all the underwear the RNC gave me.
Just Wait Till We Get Our Hanes Off You!
Are we shocked that the RNC bought underwear for underaged children? I thought that that was a part of the GOP platform.
In the Palin household washing machine regime, you never mix whites with coloreds.
Okay - can someone explain to me how on Earth it could take 3 hours to do this woman’s hair? Or does this Bee Hive joint have a haircut that comes with a happy ending? Honest-to-fucking-god. From now on, why doesn’t every news story that comes out about Palin just have a headline reading: “Yet Another Reason to Hate the Living Shit Out of Sarah Palin and Her Stupid-ass Family.” Have another mooseburger fuckers.
The RNC’s current agenda:
Phase 1: Collect underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit!
…I wonder who will get to sniff them first?
That’s the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for”
Speaking of low hanging fruit . . .
AngryBlakGuy: win
…I wonder who will get to sniff them first?
/me finishes pulling his long, floppy ears through the legholes and grins, his eyes almost obscured by the silken undies
Rule of thumb on the the U-trou: if they’re lost, it’s probably for a good reason.
oh shit, cut your losses rnc, the stories way out, let the dumb bitch keep her ugly clothes
Sarah’s going to file for the 2012 primaries so she can keep the loot.
So, my watch says that the fake-pregnant daughter should be in her fake-seventh or eighth month of her fake pregnancy.
1. How much did they spend on maternity clothes that looked suspiciously normal sized?
2. When’s the last time we saw a picture of the fake-pregnant daughter?
What about the $40K she dropped for First Dude Todd? He of the silk boxers (who would want those back?)& whatever the hell you buy for a man that costs $40K. Shit, my husband would have had to have a car thrown in with a couple pair of jeans, boots & a new jacket to total $40K. Someone needs to tell Bible Spice she’s married to a metrosexual.
The RNC can have that chunky-style caboose back, too.
In her interview she attacked bloggers that criticized her, calling them “bloggers in their parents’ basement”.
So THAT’S where Ken and Sara go to do their bloggin! And I thought libruhl bloggers logged on at Starbucks while they sipped their sissy soy lattes.
I guess I can understand little Piper losing underwear…but isn’t the other kid like 14?
If losing the thousand dollar Neiman Marcus undies wasnt bad enough, imagine having Grandpa (I can’t help but think they call him Papaw or PawPaw) announce it to the Associated Press.
These kids are going to be so fucked up.
Palin kid: “Mommie, I threw out those fancy European underwears ya got me.”
Sarah: “Oh hey why so, sweetie?”
Kid: “Oh ya know, those nice people at your rallies were sayin’, ‘Goddam knickers, ta hell with the knickers . . .’”
AngryBlakGuy: Bill Kristol
Texan Bulldoggette: Italian silk boxers are the perfect complement to a black “IRON DOG” promotional jacket and gas station sunglasses.
OK, picture this: Palin is telling the truth about not asking for the clothes. So some Republitard had to go out and buy UNDERWEAR for the kids, including bras for Trig’s mom, Bristol.. I mean oldest sister, which means either that person(s) either guessed what size this kids wear, OR they rummaged through their suitcases to find out what size they wear.
How fucking low on the totem pole does one have to be to be sent in to check on the bra and undie sizes for KIDS??? Oh, that’s right, this is the Republican party, this was a job reserved for a 2010 Senate candidate.
wheelie: win
Who yanked the Louis Vuitton handbag from Pipers cold, stubby hands? That had to be a sight to see.
The typical RNC operative would take their used underwear, go back to his hotel room and make soup.
Which has more area in square miles: Denali National Park or her enormous pork butt?
azw88: Mark Foley was down, since he couldn’t tell any of the kids’ genders based on their names.
I sure hope this Palin thing unfolds like a kind of John Wayne Bobbitt kinda way. “I’m the First Dude. And this is my Snow Machine.”
The RNC could double their money with a Palin clothing auction on-line or a silent bid auction at a fund raiser.
Saracuda, the gift that keeps on giving. So many clothes fesishists would love to get their hands on this famous collection!
John Watters wet dream….
Also, I’d pay money to watch a Sarah Palin/Michelle Obama remake-spoof of Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan kind of smash-up… set to Russian Techno or something.
I’m sure half the shit is already on eBay, including Levi Johnston’s “duds.”
Now that momma Palin gets to fade into obscurity for at least a couple of years, maybe Bristol won’t have to marry the redneck afterall.
AngryBlakGuy: You’re talking about the RNC. Someone will be sniffing “the first dude’s” briefs.
Why won’t she just go away already? Really, why does she feel it necessary to stick around? Damage control for 2016?. She really does think she is “all that”? She is running a state with less people than my county.
She’s running a state with less people than my office building.
Those fucking kids deserve Prada-hipster sunglasses and totes from whoever the hell issues Tote bags in these days.
THIS IS NOT ENOUGH FER ‘MERICA.
In other news, Cindy just fucked three more houses, and John sadly embraced a dead Larch.
Speedsmears. She tossed em.
azw88: I blog from my own damned basement. My parents won’t let me back in theirs.
natoslug: natoslug: You are an elitist… I can’t afford a basement!!!
I am in the needs for a basement bailout!
She could totally make the RNC their money back by auctioning the underwear off on eBay just like that jet she almost sold that one time.
Her entire political career rests on the ability to sort her children’s underwear. Such a proud day for women.
Republican come-on: “Do you know I’m going executive privilege? I’m wearing faith-based underwear.”
dilhavarti: They could have the starring roles in this
http://www.tonyaandnancytheopera.com/
Yeah, it’s for reals. And yeah, it’s THAT awesome.
http://wonkette.com/404271/sarah-palin-blames-loss-on-george-bush#comments
“I think the Republican ticket [with McCain] represented too much of the status quo, too much of what had gone on in these last eight years, that Americans were kind of shaking their heads like going, wait a minute, how did we run up a 10 trillion dollar debt in a Republican administration? How have there been blunders with war strategy under a Republican administration?”
Honi soit qui mal y pense. So look over your back, won’t cha, our caribou darlin’?
Nacht der langen Messer ich cummen
Trig will have the Burbury Velour Romper torn off his poor widdle back by RNC operatives…he’ll soon be swaddled in honest moose and beaver pelts.
Burberry…excuse-moi.
Bristol so wanted one of these…by Juicy Couture…would have made a great paparazzi shot!
RNC really wants the luxe skid-marked skivvies of the First Dude?
Neon Trotsky: Win.
“You’re a pussy, pussy.”
MrsNateSilver: Thanks for that. I’m going to go wash my head out with soap now.
This marks the first time WOMENS underwear has ever been lost during a Republican scandal.
OffTheRecord: That was laugh-out-loud funny. I’m saying it on the record. We need a whole list of crazy crap Bristol has been telling Sarah to hide the fact that she’s sleeping with boys.
I’m starting to feel sorry for Saracuda, which is dangerous, because every time I feel sorry for her she says something that makes people try to kill my Barry.
Apparently the Secret Service is reporting attempts on Barry’s life spiked during Palin’s short reign of “pallin’ around with terrorists” talk. I only saw it in British news, but it scares me. Please, God, don’t let Barry die.
Palin, goin’ through the clothes:
Eeew, there’s spooge on these socks. Damn that Levi! No. He wouldn’t be doin’ that now that he’s home free. Who’s been hittin’ on Willow, fer gosh durn golly sakes?
And there’s spooge on this red jacket too. Ooh, Todd the Palinator is just soooo romantic, and, almost, mystical. Seeing red makes him see red. How does he do that? Woohoo! Ain’t Jeebus just wunnerful as effin’ sh*t!
Apparently she’s too retarded to let this scandal die.
By admitting the kids were provided underwear, Mr. Heath is either admitting that the Palins either couldn’t provide basic neccessities or the Palins were indeed raiding Neiman Marcuses from coast to coast (something to this point that Palin has denied).
For his daughter’s sake he should probably STFU. Of course, I hope he doesn’t, and I am sure no one in the evil blogosphere that Palin so regrets hopes he does either.
Give her a break, she’s got a whole Jumbo Jet to go through. It can’t be easy.
I say it was Mittens’ staffers. Everyone knows those evil trolls will stop at nothing in the service of His Oiliness.
Even as we write our humble posts, Darth Romney draws his plans for 2012… and waits.
I’m guessing what she REALLY was doing was switching the clothing tags from her Target clothes to the NM and Saks loot, hoping the RNC people won’t notice.
Has she checked Anthony Michael Hall’s dresser. As I recall, he’s pretty good at talking the young girls out of their underpants.
Good thing she’s doin’ all this sortin’, though, since nobody’s comin’ up and checkin’ on anythin’, you betcha, cause all those clothes are in the belly of a plane she sold on eBay to pay for Trig’s new huntin’ cap.
I’m sure half the shit is already on eBay, including Levi Johnston’s “duds.”
Trig’s for sale on eBay??
Skidmarks To Nowhere.
They wanted the dirty drawers too? Really Repubs…really?
“She was just frantically … trying to sort stuff out,” Heath said. “That’s the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for.”
If there’s anything the RNC wants back, it’s used children’s underwear.
wallythepug: Hey now, don’t be hatin’ on the Target clothes. Some of us find their products to be of good quality at sensible prices.
I foresee an auction of used Palin undies on Free Republic.
Mavericks don’t wear underwear.
NoWireHangers: I can see her frantic. Snapping right and left, sending Piper in tears to hide in her closet, Saracuda is now pulling up Bristol’s skirt to check the tags while Willow stares in shock. Trig is screaming and from the front door you hear a very Republican, very Lawyerly, very UR SCROOGED knock.
The Drifter Who Would Be Queen
Underwear- who buys used underwear? And why did they have to buy the children underwear? The whole Palin story just gets creepier. I am so happy about the election but I am still looking forward to new and creepier Palin stories in the coming years.
I thought all American patriots went commando.