There’s really only one sentence in Lady Peggy Noonington de Rothschild’s Wall Street Journal column today worth reading, but it is, as les Française would say, un crescendo magnifique. (PSST: WE DON’T KNOW THE FROG WORD FOR “CRESCENDO.”) Allez: “The phrase I often worriedly think of when I see, on television, gross violence, cruelty, a vulgarity of character, erectile dysfunction ads, news reports that reflect a mean and cynical attitude toward America, and still-menacing if increasingly antique rappers is: The children are watching.” It is these problems five that our beloved frau hopes to see vanquished under the princely young president Africanus, whom the children frequently view on the television machine. [WSJ]

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  1. This is clearly a direct attack on Chuck D. Or, maybe, Mike D. Who knows? Is Pegasus saying the art form is antique, or its practitioners?

  2. Probably the first time the words ‘Peggy Noonan’ and ‘erectile dysfunction’ have been used together other than as an oxymoron.

  3. News reports that reflect a mean and cynical attitude? Dammit, let’s get some perkiness into the next shooting spree report!

    Doesn’t Peggy appear periodically on Fox? Is someone holding a gun to her head?

  4. “…still-menacing if increasingly antique rappers” ?

    How ’bout still-menacing if increasingly antique politicians (sorry Walnuts!, it’s true).

  5. “…still menacing if increasingly antique rappers…”?? How the *hell* would she know? Her Highness needs to hie it back to Rosings Park and fetch her smelling salts.

  6. Why is it that the people who care so much about children hearing swearing or the like, never care about the environment or any other thing the children might need in the future? I think Johnny will probably need to know the word fuck for later when he realizes we’ve ruined all the water tables.

    /just saying.
    //turn off the damn tv if you’re kids are in the room.

  7. So stop watching TV, Peg. I quit in the early ’70s and no vital body parts have fallen off. I merely have more time to read books, listen to BBC, travel, etc. Go to China for 6 or 12 months and see something besides the usual westernized shopping districts. Meet people who earn a dollar a day and manage to save 1/2 of it!

    Zhu Bajie

  8. Barry already told the brothers to pull up their pants. Jesus, Peggy give him 5 minutes to work, oh I don’t know, on the economy or something slightly more important than Run DMC & Bob Dole’s sponsor, Viagra.

  9. “Still-menacing if increasingly antique rappers.”

    They should print that on the new Jay-Z album. It would certainly increase sales from the coveted “Over 50 cougar” market. Purr.

  10. OT but I got the commenters at hotair mad at me. I made a crack about the war on drugs in a thread about Hopey’s Reagan seance comment and they’re not too happy…

    Don’t worry. I won’t let them trail me here. But watch my back guys…

  11. God, I love it when you write about Noonan. I never really noticed here before I started coming to Wonkette, but now I can’t see her without laughing.

  12. [re=171247]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: Ugh, I read that. What a complete non-issue. “Oh noes, urban blacks can identify with Obama! And they do it with occasional profanity!” I wonder how many Country/Western musicians identified with fake Texan George W. Bush…

  13. Honey, not all rap is menacing, antique or not.

    I once visited a 10th grade English class in inner-city L.A. where students were performing rap about Herman Melville’s “Bartleby,” which went something like: “The man Bartleby wuz a funny little dude/He didn’t wanna work/an’ he sat there on his stool/When somebody would ask him/’bout something for to do/the man Bartleby would say “I prefer NOT TO!”

    Not menacing.

  14. Pegleg is a pretty reliable go-to for you guys on a Friday afternoon… Wonkette should give her some sort of royalty for the material she provides.

  15. [re=171223]Joe the Truck Nutz[/re]: Probably the first time the words ‘Peggy Noonan’ and ‘erectile dysfunction’ have been used together other than as an oxymoron.

    I dunno. I think the two kind of go hand-in-hand.

  16. I think it was Will Smith and the Men in Black song that put her over the edge. Who could forget these lyrics:

    Here come the men in black
    Galaxy defenders
    Here come the men in black
    They won’t let you remember

    What is it with black people and defending the galaxy and making people not remember? For shame.

  17. Peggy has been posting on Wonkette as “JESUS SAVES” for about a week now. She’s not being received very well, for some reason.

  18. The only sentence worth reading? Jesus, the whole thing is a mess of crazy diamonds. How can you choose only one?

    “Some wonder if Barack Obama is… a strict modern liberal…”

    A strict modern liberal? WTF?

    “(Though it is also true that many of the indexes for the GOP are dreadful, especially that they lost the vote of two-thirds of those aged 18 to 29. They lost a generation! If that continues in coming years, it will be a rolling wave of doom.)”

    Yes, yes. Just imagine what a rolling wave of doom we might have experienced during the last eight years had not people kept the GOP in power.

  19. They want to respect you and look up to you; they want you to be a positive, not negative, role model for their children; they want to know you can lead as you ran, capable, Cool Hand Luke.”

    They want Obama to eat fifty eggs, play, “I don’t care if it rains or freezes” on the banjo, and get murdered by white racists in mirrored sunglasses.

    Oh, Dame Peggy, please don’t do that.

    I’m totally down with that rolling wave of doom for the Repubs, though.

  20. I’m as liberal as they come on most topics, but seeing the sentance without it’s original context, so I don’t know if she implied these things will change under Obama, or hopes they will, or even implied it facetiously.

    At face value, it’s not that awful. The loss of the “thug” image in rap, and the lyrical content wouldn’t be a particularly bad thing. It’s not a positive in society, and being one of the most pervasive role model images for young blacks, it presents the world -and acheiving within it – in a distorted manner that does little good for anyone except the rappers themselves and their record labels.

  21. I didn’t see her complaining a few weeks ago when she went on The Daily Show to plug her book.

    She’s the only woman I’ve ever hated this much who I didn’t want to fuck.

  22. Whatever, son. Her beef with them haters in the NRO posse is kind of wack. Her flow is never on point and her beats are played like Coogi sweaters.

  23. [re=171363]Delicious[/re]: That is 100% correct. The season 1 West Wing dvd has a short doc featuring ‘real life’ White House staffers. Peggy is interviewed and oh my goodness she talks like a 60 year old phone sex operator on a low dose of Oxycontin.

  24. Noonan might be the fading Grand Duchess of Dimbulbia, but I have to agree with her that we could use a few less boner commercials. I do take issue with her on the badness of trashing America. Totally depends on which America you’re talking about. But the saddest chunk of this dizzy, unfocused ink spill is the first line of paragraph four: “I add one thing.” Ah, Pegadilly, you fading one-dimensional object of four equal sides, if only t’were so.

  25. [re=171261]Theo_Mobius[/re]: I’ve never read a column of hers before. Is she generally a poor writer or am I just too drunk/stoned/elated/ to know shit from shinola right now?

  26. Noonan might be the fading Grand Duchess of Dimbulbia, but I have to agree with her that we could use a few less boner commercials and a lot less hate rap. I do take issue with her on the badness of trashing America—that really depends on which America you’re talking about. And what’s she got against BoDole? He hook her with his pen or something? The most tragic chunk of the Duchess’s dizzy, unfocused ink spill is the first line of paragraph four: “I add one thing.” Ah, Pegadilly, you fading one-dimensional tool used by carpenters to measure right angles, or perchance the vainglorious sum of a number multiplied by itself, if only t’were so.

    As for her grammatical skills, she could totally handle Palin’s comeback.

  27. Oh, Milady Peggington, must we be at sixes and sevens here? Our incoming liege has a lot on his plate and you seem to want to heap on the task of appeasing Republicans along with all the war and depression. It striketh me as a wee bit odd that Republicans are worried about Rahmbo’s “jarringly partisan” proclivities. This is, after all, a party that impeached a perfectly capable president on a strict party line vote which it knew didn’t stand a chance of prevailing because he couldn’t keep his pants up. I know you were worried about the kiddies and how it looked and all but where do you think Rahmbo learned how the partisan game is played and from whom?

  28. [re=171426]Giant Robot[/re]:
    Recall the character Mary Tyrone in Eugene O’Neill’s play, “Long Day’s Journey into Night”.
    Who? What? Back to you to finish your degree at the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople.

  29. [re=171458]Fivetree[/re]: Too under-1800 words and too unwandering to be a true Noonan paragraph. Next time insert a totally unrelated, 600 word essay about Saint Olga of the Rus or winter wheat.

  30. The funny part is, Michelle Malkin, YOUR president is black, too.
    Maybe someday even a Filipina cheerleader could reach that exalted goal.

  31. I read Pegster’s article again. It should have been titled, “Change, but not.”
    —Americans want change, and they just voted for it, but in times of high-stakes history they appreciate stability. —
    Beckett might have written this [but with far fewer words].

  32. The French word for CRESCENDO is crescendo, same word without the caps. As for your second question, yes “les Française” should be « les françaises ». To make a noun plural, you usually add an -s… just like in english.

    And please, stop harassing Peggy. Pick on someone your own size. Like, Maureen Dowd.

  33. The children are on computer or texting — too hip for that t.v. stuff. It’s all Mortal Kombat and YouPorn for them, nothing dangerous like Antiques Roadshow.

  34. The Duchess of Noonington is always at her best when decrying something she saw on television. Her columns, in Tom Wolfe’s phrase, glow blue with television. You wonder what would happen if she turned the idiot box off and went out for a walk.

  35. Jim, I too love reading and reading about Dame Twatwaffle because she always wants her cake, chews it, and then expects us to swallow it – guilty. Yes Peggy, the children! Did you think about them during the last 28 years of top down greed & denial? Srsly?

    As Wm Safire was to grammar the Pegster is to morals. And actually I like her for it. Is that contradictorily Noonanish for you?

  36. Oh Wonkette ppl, there were sooo many nuggets in this thing! I made my own blog post for it, too. It’s a collection of the choicest pretentious lines (so many to choose from!) and the most SAT of the SAT words peppered throughout. And do you know, that lazy bitch used obstreperous AGAIN! How lazy can you be? That was used last time, or the week before.

    But here’s my favorite line of all: “He hasn’t staffed his campaign with fierce gut fighters but benign-seeming smoothies, the best kind of smoothie to be.” WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL ARE YOU EFFING TALKING ABOUT? And, what exactly are the ingredients for those gimlets you’ve been knocking back? I’ve always wanted to try a gimlet.

    PS I’m SUPER bored at work this AM and copy and pasted the article in Word. It is four full pages double spaced.

    PPS I’m not a shameless self promoter in the comments (I’m lookin’ at you pumpernickel) but for this one instance, I shall share the url, because of its relevance:

  37. Antique Rappers? I’ve got your antique rapper right here, Peggy. (It’s amazing footage of Cab Calloway and the Nicholas Brothers foreshadowing – and exceeding – 80s hip hop)

    I suspect that if Barack Obama actually stepped into an elevator with Peggy Noonan, she would assume that HE was an antique rapper, and promptly clutch her purse. Has Peggy Noonan ever actually talked to a black person before?

  38. [re=171569]Monkey[/re]: I swear to you my opinion is not based upon Obama being black , if he were a Conservative or at least an honest Centrist , I would bend over backwards to see him shooed into the Whitehouse , but he is not , I am not Judging this man based upon on his skin color , I am only skeptical about his CHARACHTER …even If Obama were White , Asian , or Green with antennas sticking out the back of his neck (sarcasm) , the low variable of trust concerning the Obfuscatory demeanor of Obama would always cause me to reach the same outcome.

    Thats why I know for a fact that Martin Luther King would never have voted for Obama ….

  39. [re=171576]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Obviously, you didn’t get yesterday’s memo.

    According to Brent Bozell, the President of the Conservative Victory Committee, Obama won because “he ran as a Reagan-ite”, and that the country is still “center-right”.

    (Never mind that two weeks ago, Bozell said that Obama was a socialist.)

    Apparently, the Neoconservatives change their story as often as….as….a McCain campaign.

    When you’re all on the same page, get back to us. Meanwhile, we’ll just point and laugh.

  40. [re=171576]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: “Thats why I know for a fact that Martin Luther King would never have voted for Obama ….”

    thats the best joke i’ve heard in awhile…

  41. She writes: “Hint: They want peace, progress in the economy and nothing socially extreme.” And, UH, also, invade Iran, feudalism in the Russian style and tongue-talkin’ theocracy.

    Has anyone else arrived at the conclusion that Peg is a Cormac McCarthy character’s interior monologue?

    Oh, and serious, I doubt very much that the children are watching.

  42. [re=171576]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Anyone who “knows for a fact” who MLK would have voted for is okay in Nancy Reagan’s book. You can rationalize all day, but you clearly already know “for a fact” exactly what you believe and you’re just filling in blanks. No evidence is going to change your opinion. That’s great. Moral certainty makes a great cushion against the terror of being. Kudos to you, you’ve built yourself an existential bomb shelter.

    I “know for a fact” that you don’t know shit about Obama’s character, because all you have as a basis for your bias are Hannity, Rush, and your other standard pop-midgets. Oh, and partisan slander and the clueless opinions of whatever fellow moral absolutists you hang out with. Obama’s been working for others for most of his adult life—what about you? The man could have gotten rich ten times over if he’d gone into criminal law or basically whatever he wanted (except he’s not a Republican, so it probably never occurred to him). Instead, he chose to work for peanuts as a state legislator. You’re such a fool to passively absorb the Clinton-McPalin campaign line about him and take it as “fact.” Of course, the philosophy you inexplicably need to share on a site that doesn’t want you here is why we got Bush. Congratulations on your judgment. Your America thanks you.

    MLK was a man of love and forgiveness, but I don’t think he would have been too patient with the likes of you. It feels a little like poison to hear his name springing from your keyboard, much worse than the GOP suddenly discovering sexism. Using “Jesus is Love” to post ignorant, spiteful rhetoric is ironic, to say the least. Shame on you as a presumably devout Christian for such sacrilege. Now, please go back to the Klan sites where you’re most comfortable. And remember, Jesus is Love.

  43. [re=171247]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: That malkin post is just more and more breathlytaking!

    And this, from reader L. in Cobb County, Georgia:

    My senior at an upscale Cobb County Georgia (Newt’s old district) high school came home today in tears. Every black student at this school, where race isn’t usually an indicator of whether or not the teens are friends…they all get along and are for the most part, almost all college bound… was wearing their Obama t-shirts today. Many of them said, “My president is BLACK.” Many had Obama’s head printed on cardboard and waved them through the halls taunting the white kids with, “McCain sucks” and “F– McCain.”

    Anyone who’d previously professed support for McCain is being taunted with “racist.”

    My daughter asked the assistant principal what would happen if she came to school tomorrow with a t-shirt that said, “My president is white” on it. The answer was something like, “I’m with you, but there’s nothing we can do about it.”

    Maybe [re=171576]JESUS IS LOVE[/re] would be more comfortable over with Michelle.

    But, as a response to MM’s reader: Perhaps if you weren’t racist, you would have supported Obama from the outset, thereby saving yourself (and your unfortunately brainwashed spawn) unneeded cognitive dissonance.

    I read the Noonan collumn in a discarded WSJ at SBUX today. It’s better at teh wonkette.

  44. A lot of rappers are antiques tho. There is something wrong with a four year old tattooed fellow doing shots and being surrounded by hoochie mommas. Now if it’s a 30 year old without tats…I’m just sayin’.

  45. So, we are not supposed to complain about our American society flooding us with gangsta rap and boner pill ads but we are not “bash America”?

  46. yes, what is it with the boner pill ads? it is like now they have this torture thing like the cosmetic ads for women. women have to starve and/or be drug addicts to look absolutely flawless like a china doll all their lives and if they don’t, have massive slices into all parts of their body and face.

    now it’s a guy thing too, like they have these pills that will give you a hard on but will kill you if you have any kind of heart trouble. let’s just all fuck and die.

  47. Sheesh… Peggy Noonan is a rap critic now? The whole worlds gone all Wonky!

    … I don’t even understand what’s upsetting about “My President is Black.” I mean, my president IS Black. Well OK, half black. I’ma make a tee-shirt that says, “My President is 1/2 Black and 1/2 White… Can’t we all just get along?”

    Honestly, my big issue with rap and my new Black president is… Does this mean the group Dead Prez is going to change their name?

    … The first rule of erectile dysfunction is, don’t talk about erectile dysfunction.

  48. At least the ads for ED pills tell you what they are for.

    What creeps me out are all those ads for medications and they don’t even tell you what they are supposed to treat. They just say, “Ask your doctor is Superduperawesomitol is right for you.”

    Can we get those off the air? Oh, I guess not because Republicans caved to the pharma companies to allow them to advertise on the teevee.

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