KILL US ALL  5:10 pm November 7, 2008

McCain, Palin, Obama Consider ‘Election Of Doom Reunion Tour 2k8′ Across Georgia

by Jim Newell

And this time, on bikes!!Remember when the election ended on Tuesday? Well, SECRET: it didn’t. Now that racist colonel Saxby Chambliss has been forced into a Senate runoff in Georgia against Democratic challenger Jim Martin (Dec. 2 — mark yr calendars!), the entire political world will descend on the former penal colony for one last romp in the swamp! John McCain has agreed to campaign for Chambliss already; Sarah Palin wants to campaign but, um, “scheduling conflicts;” and Jim Martin wants Barack Obama to come down and galvanize his merry band of black people straight to the polls! Obama has not agreed yet, however, since he now has to fix a global economy and not get us nuked. Presidents should be able to multitask though, right OBAMER? Let’s hope the reunion tour is every bit is “fun” as the general election was. [AJC]

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Tra November 7, 2008 at 5:13 pm


blinky_twinkie November 7, 2008 at 5:14 pm

I wonder how many “scheduling conflicts” Palin is going to have over the next four years.

Weeping Jesus November 7, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Eff that. Just send new Secretary of Cultural Affairs Paris Hilton. She’s gettin’ out my “vote”, if you catch my meanin’….

SayItWithWookies November 7, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Obama’s going to send Colin Powell to burn Atlanta.

Dreadful Gate November 7, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Will Joke the Plumber be there? What am I saying, of course he will. It’s all fun and games again until Dec. 2 Yippee!

Delicious November 7, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Hey Sarah:

Neiman Marcus
3393 Peachtree Rd NE # 8440
Atlanta, GA 30326
(404) 266-8200

DangerousLiberal November 7, 2008 at 5:22 pm

[re=171124]blinky_twinkie[/re]: All of them. For the next four years.

Other than Joe Lieberman (Asshat-CT), is there anyone left in the Senate who deserves a ritual public disembowling more than Saxby Chambliss? This guy is a steaming turd in the verdant pasture that lies ahead after 1.20.09. Christ, I hope Georgia sees the error of its ways; if not, can’t the Russians invade them, again?

jagorev November 7, 2008 at 5:24 pm

Could we the hipster losers from Yankeeland be of any help? Maybe make a few million annoying phone calls like we did last weekend?

ManchuCandidate November 7, 2008 at 5:24 pm

Just’a good ol’ boy
Never went to war.
Slimes a crippled war vet
Been an ass with a mouth
Since the day he was born

Wastin’ the days
Spending them bills
Someday an election will get ‘im
‘Cause the law never will

Winin’ his way
The only way he know how
That’s just a little bit more
Sanity should allow.

Winin’ his way
The only way he know how
That’s just a little bit more
Sanity should allow.

Sax’s a good ol’ boy
You know fate’s gonna get’im
But he don’t undestand
Why folks want to seem bitchslapped on TV

Giant Robot November 7, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Fuck yea!! Mac is BACK!!! I thought the last two days was missin sumptin!!!

annieB November 7, 2008 at 5:27 pm


Charlie Tuna November 7, 2008 at 5:27 pm

This is not good.

These 50% threshold re-lections are designed to gin up the losing party. Louisiana has buullshit elections like this and it makes me sick.

rocktonsammy November 7, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Ain’t it peach pickin time in Georgia?

I loves fresh peaches!

Giant Robot November 7, 2008 at 5:29 pm

C’mon Huckabee!! C’mon Giuliani!! All you losing fuckers got something to bring into this. PILE ON!!!

Charlie Tuna November 7, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Wheel out Max Cleland!! Seroiously, no pun intended. Show Georgia what a war hero looks like.

ShamWow November 7, 2008 at 5:30 pm

We’re getting the band back together. YEAH! I was starting to get campaign-withdrawals.

DoctorCulturae November 7, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=171143]jagorev[/re]: Agreed. Shouldn’t take much to fire up that phone bank again. I loved convincing bitterz of the errors of their ways. May we call it Sherman’s March to the Sea?

Texan Bulldoggette November 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm

Confuse my denseness, but how is a runoff between the same 2 candidates going to have a different result? Barry will get the coloreds & effete snobs to vote for Martin; Walnuts will get the racists & poor, toothless folks to vote for Chambliss. Instead of wasting GA’s money & time, why don’t they just do a horse shoe toss contest or something equally as stupid.

magic titty November 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm

“Scheduling conflicts” = “Todd and I will be tanning and fucking also.”

DailyComicsReview November 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm

It’s too bad Georgia has such a small coastline, little chance of the whole place falling in to the ocean

hedgehog November 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm

We are all Georgians now.

suchsweetthunder November 7, 2008 at 5:34 pm

I could wish Walnuts a better “reward” for not winning the election than having to go to Georgia and campaign on behalf of Saxby. Seriously. I think the only reason Obama never made a serious push there is that he never wanted to visit.

facehead November 7, 2008 at 5:35 pm

I AM Val

The Actor

– Val Kilmer Considers Run for Governor of New Mexico:

ShamWow November 7, 2008 at 5:36 pm

[re=171166]magic titty[/re]: Ah crap, that means baby #6 will be on the way shortly. Remember, those right-wingnuts don’t believe in that librul birf control hocus-pocus.

S.Luggo November 7, 2008 at 5:40 pm

[re=171164]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Georgia law requires a candidate to get 50% of the votes cast in order to be declared winner. In the general election, there was a third-party whackjob who prevented Shambles and his Dem opponent Martin from getting to 50%. In the special election only SexBoy and Martin will be running. Let the games begin.

One Yield Regular November 7, 2008 at 5:49 pm

But doctor, sure, the prescription you gave me worked wonders, really it did, but you know, there’s still this pain, right here, yeah that’s it, right there where Proposition 8 won. I bet if you rub some Jim Martin Victory Balm in there, even that will feel a lot better.

Lord Foppington of Dandyshire November 7, 2008 at 6:03 pm

I worked my ass off canvassing for Obama and Martin in West Ga. I pray to our muslin Allah that Obama will come energize us. If I have to see Saxby’s pinched hick-face for 6 more years I’ll … drink even more than now.

Texan Bulldoggette November 7, 2008 at 6:07 pm

[re=171180]S.Luggo[/re]: Aahh…because I didn’t care enough to find out, I assumed Saxby & Martin were the only candidates. This does now make sense. I think Barry should wheel Max Cleland around when campaigning for Martin.

Custerwolf November 7, 2008 at 6:16 pm

Sarah has “scheduling conflicts” (i.e., “we’re waiting to see if Georgia Republicans still have a boner for her come run-off time, and if so, then we’re willing to motorcade her on down here, and foot the $150,000 tab for her to play dress-up.”)Meanwhile back in AK, Sarah – already jonesing for mob attention – is sitting anxiously by her Princess phone with fingers crossed….”Oh please….oh, please…..oh, please……)

TeddyS November 7, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Spread the word! Saxby Chambliss, trying to keep his job, has seen the light. He swears he is now a moderate Republican, thinks Michelle Obama is hot, believes in gun control, reads books without pictures, watches Rachel Maddow, believes in evolution, can say “Doctor Martin Luther King Junior” without throwing up, has stopped picking his nose while driving and roots for the University of Florida Gators.

EggplantParm November 7, 2008 at 6:21 pm

2 typos in that post, ya’ll are drunk on unicorn piss, ain’t ya?

Stalkin' Malkin November 7, 2008 at 6:24 pm

“Scheduling conflicts” = twenty four hours of darkness and 90,000 eskimos, ’nuff said.

ms_mcgee November 7, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Oh yes, send WALNUTS to campaign! He did wonders in the general election. (And btw, Palin has scheduling conflicts because she thinks there’s a war in Georgia)

WesternCorrespondent November 7, 2008 at 6:25 pm

“Scheduling conflicts” = “I can’t freeload off the RNC anymore, they took away my plane and all of those cool clothes and my hairdresser and my makeup artist and the lowly aides I strongarmed into babysitting and shopping trips and giving me walking-around money…”

Really, what’s life going to be like now for Cinder-Sarah now that she’s back on the farm? She’ll have to change Trig’s diapers herself now, and probably for the next 5 years (yeah, until she sends him to kindergarten — hah! If the poor kid’s mainstreamed by the time he’s 5 years old it will be due to the high intelligence and devotion of his mother /sarcasm)

Jukesgrrl November 7, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Idea for President Hopey: All those guys who want to be Secretary of State? How bad do they want it? Enough to spend a month in Georgia? Send ‘em down there and whichever one comes back with Senator Martin gets the job.

S.Luggo November 7, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=171168]hedgehog[/re]: We? No thanks. Do not feel like undergoing the required prefrontal lobotomy. Squeamish. Ick.

Meth Lab for Cutie November 8, 2008 at 3:12 am

Sissy Saxby no like Vietnam Vets. Or any Vets for that matter.

Hostile Michigander November 8, 2008 at 6:35 am

[re=171143]jagorev[/re]: Back in 2002, the DCCC actually paid to fly in volunteer canvassers for two congressional run-off elections in Louisiana.

I wish somebody would do that for this race. It’s been years since I got to condescend to any Georgians.

Tim3255 November 8, 2008 at 8:14 am

Rahm Israel Emanuel officially accepted his appointment by Obama as Chief of Staff on November 6 2008. The Israeli press & media were beside themselves with applause and cheers.
Rahm Emanuel is a former investment banker who made millions on Wall Street. Emanuel’s sponsor is the Zionist , Bruce Wasserstein, who is now the head of Lazard Banking.
Rahm Israel Emanuel is the son of an Israeli physician who was a gun runner for the Irgun, an Israeli terrorist group that murdered Arab civilians in Palestine between 1931 and 1948. Upon his son’s appointment as Obama’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Benjamin Emanuel (”Auerbach” was his original surname) had some choice slanderous words for the Arabs:

In an interview with Ma’ariv: “Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel,” he was quoted as saying. “Why wouldn’t he be? What is he, an Arab? He’s not going to clean the floors of the White House.”
The Ma’ariv article also quoted Dr. Emanuel as saying that his son spends most summers visiting in Tel Aviv, and that he speaks Hebrew, but not fluently

Emanuel, Clinton & Mossad:

monty November 8, 2008 at 8:36 am

[re=171431]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Holy shit, elect somebody based on MERIT? woooooah. thats radical stuff your spoutin.

shodan2020 November 8, 2008 at 10:06 am

Palin will be along just for the lulz.

TGY November 8, 2008 at 10:06 am


Oh, hell, I have to vote again.

psychedelicSludge November 8, 2008 at 10:31 am

But can she name all of the parts of Saxby Chambliss?

DangerousLiberal November 8, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=171519]Tim3255[/re]: Can I haz my antisemitizm now?

aristoggle November 8, 2008 at 10:25 pm

Help us Help us Obi-ama, you’re our only hope …

glamourdammerung November 8, 2008 at 11:54 pm

[re=171519]Tim3255[/re]: Why are you spamming the same tripe in every topic? Did your parents not love you?

Jerry November 8, 2008 at 11:58 pm

It’s amazing how you elitist liberal women, who maybe know how to run a vacuum cleaner, think you are in a position to evaluate the intelligence of a woman who runs the largest state in the Union and evidently performs her job spectacularly. Is it because she is a capitalist or because she is attractive that motivates you to come up with some of the most petty childish criticism I have eve heard?

rosecitysister November 8, 2008 at 11:59 pm

[re=171124]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I know, right?

I’m disappointed though, she was kind of entertaining…

glamourdammerung November 9, 2008 at 3:22 am

[re=171683]Jerry[/re]: How is Alaska capitalist exactly? Those welfare queens leech quite a bit off the “lower 48″, not to mention spreading the wealth around with the oil revenues.

If someone does not realise that “Africa” is not a country, then yes, I am in a position to evaluate their intelligence. I guess that I must be an elitist for having passed the second grade.

Also, maybe being the governor of the “largest state in the Union” would be a bit more impressive if it had more people than moose. Given that she has seldom even showed up at the Governor’s Mansion and how long the break the legislature has, I think your statement about running Alaska being somehow difficult is pretty goofy.

Unindicted Co-Conspirator November 9, 2008 at 11:25 am

To quote someone far cleverer than myself:
Your idiotic rant sounded better in the original German!

Borat November 9, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Why couldn’t have this happened in West Virginia? A month long toothless hillbilly tour is so much funnier than a month long toothless redneck tour

spandrelmatic November 9, 2008 at 7:26 pm

[re=171654]DangerousLiberal[/re], [re=171681]glamourdammerung[/re], [re=171712]Unindicted Co-Conspirator[/re]: Off-topic? Sure. “Antisemitizm”? “Idiotic rant”? Sorry, don’t see it. And unless you’re pro-Irgun and enjoy racist “wit” (to self-evaluate, replace “Arab” with “Mexican”), the “original German” schtick is Palinesque.

I have more zero-snark commentary to offer, but I’m fresh out of quotation marks. We now return to our regularly scheduled etc.

iaro November 9, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Just as my election-withdrawal shakes were starting to kick in, my own state’s senate race comes to my rescue! I hope it never ends.
Go Martin!

LuckyJim November 10, 2008 at 11:04 am

[re=171745]spandrelmatic[/re]: Thanks for that. There was zero anti-semitism in Tim3255′s post. Maybe it was too much of a non-snark interjection for y’all, but that was the mildest of commentaries on anti-arab attitudes in the form of a lil’ history lesson.

And Now! Baaack to our regularly scheduled, etc…

nurple November 10, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Saxby….that’s a girl, right?

nurple November 10, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Jim: Dan Quayle might agree with you, Mario Cuomo won’t.

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