kill us all

McCain, Palin, Obama Consider ‘Election Of Doom Reunion Tour 2k8’ Across Georgia

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And this time, on bikes!!Remember when the election ended on Tuesday? Well, SECRET: it didn’t. Now that racist colonel Saxby Chambliss has been forced into a Senate runoff in Georgia against Democratic challenger Jim Martin (Dec. 2 — mark yr calendars!), the entire political world will descend on the former penal colony for one last romp in the swamp! John McCain has agreed to campaign for Chambliss already; Sarah Palin wants to campaign but, um, “scheduling conflicts;” and Jim Martin wants Barack Obama to come down and galvanize his merry band of black people straight to the polls! Obama has not agreed yet, however, since he now has to fix a global economy and not get us nuked. Presidents should be able to multitask though, right OBAMER? Let’s hope the reunion tour is every bit is “fun” as the general election was. [AJC]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • Tra


  • blinky_twinkie

    I wonder how many “scheduling conflicts” Palin is going to have over the next four years.

  • Weeping Jesus

    Eff that. Just send new Secretary of Cultural Affairs Paris Hilton. She’s gettin’ out my “vote”, if you catch my meanin’….

  • SayItWithWookies

    Obama’s going to send Colin Powell to burn Atlanta.

  • Dreadful Gate

    Will Joke the Plumber be there? What am I saying, of course he will. It’s all fun and games again until Dec. 2 Yippee!

  • Delicious

    Hey Sarah:

    Neiman Marcus
    3393 Peachtree Rd NE # 8440
    Atlanta, GA 30326
    (404) 266-8200

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=171124]blinky_twinkie[/re]: All of them. For the next four years.

    Other than Joe Lieberman (Asshat-CT), is there anyone left in the Senate who deserves a ritual public disembowling more than Saxby Chambliss? This guy is a steaming turd in the verdant pasture that lies ahead after 1.20.09. Christ, I hope Georgia sees the error of its ways; if not, can’t the Russians invade them, again?

  • jagorev

    Could we the hipster losers from Yankeeland be of any help? Maybe make a few million annoying phone calls like we did last weekend?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Just’a good ol’ boy
    Never went to war.
    Slimes a crippled war vet
    Been an ass with a mouth
    Since the day he was born

    Wastin’ the days
    Spending them bills
    Someday an election will get ‘im
    ‘Cause the law never will

    Winin’ his way
    The only way he know how
    That’s just a little bit more
    Sanity should allow.

    Winin’ his way
    The only way he know how
    That’s just a little bit more
    Sanity should allow.

    Sax’s a good ol’ boy
    You know fate’s gonna get’im
    But he don’t undestand
    Why folks want to seem bitchslapped on TV

  • Giant Robot

    Fuck yea!! Mac is BACK!!! I thought the last two days was missin sumptin!!!

  • annieB


  • Charlie Tuna

    This is not good.

    These 50% threshold re-lections are designed to gin up the losing party. Louisiana has buullshit elections like this and it makes me sick.

  • rocktonsammy

    Ain’t it peach pickin time in Georgia?

    I loves fresh peaches!

  • Giant Robot

    C’mon Huckabee!! C’mon Giuliani!! All you losing fuckers got something to bring into this. PILE ON!!!

  • Charlie Tuna

    Wheel out Max Cleland!! Seroiously, no pun intended. Show Georgia what a war hero looks like.

  • ShamWow

    We’re getting the band back together. YEAH! I was starting to get campaign-withdrawals.

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=171143]jagorev[/re]: Agreed. Shouldn’t take much to fire up that phone bank again. I loved convincing bitterz of the errors of their ways. May we call it Sherman’s March to the Sea?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Confuse my denseness, but how is a runoff between the same 2 candidates going to have a different result? Barry will get the coloreds & effete snobs to vote for Martin; Walnuts will get the racists & poor, toothless folks to vote for Chambliss. Instead of wasting GA’s money & time, why don’t they just do a horse shoe toss contest or something equally as stupid.

  • magic titty

    “Scheduling conflicts” = “Todd and I will be tanning and fucking also.”

  • DailyComicsReview

    It’s too bad Georgia has such a small coastline, little chance of the whole place falling in to the ocean

  • hedgehog

    We are all Georgians now.

  • suchsweetthunder

    I could wish Walnuts a better “reward” for not winning the election than having to go to Georgia and campaign on behalf of Saxby. Seriously. I think the only reason Obama never made a serious push there is that he never wanted to visit.

  • facehead

    I AM Val

    The Actor

    — Val Kilmer Considers Run for Governor of New Mexico:

  • ShamWow

    [re=171166]magic titty[/re]: Ah crap, that means baby #6 will be on the way shortly. Remember, those right-wingnuts don’t believe in that librul birf control hocus-pocus.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=171164]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Georgia law requires a candidate to get 50% of the votes cast in order to be declared winner. In the general election, there was a third-party whackjob who prevented Shambles and his Dem opponent Martin from getting to 50%. In the special election only SexBoy and Martin will be running. Let the games begin.

  • One Yield Regular

    But doctor, sure, the prescription you gave me worked wonders, really it did, but you know, there’s still this pain, right here, yeah that’s it, right there where Proposition 8 won. I bet if you rub some Jim Martin Victory Balm in there, even that will feel a lot better.

  • Lord Foppington of Dandyshire

    I worked my ass off canvassing for Obama and Martin in West Ga. I pray to our muslin Allah that Obama will come energize us. If I have to see Saxby’s pinched hick-face for 6 more years I’ll … drink even more than now.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=171180]S.Luggo[/re]: Aahh…because I didn’t care enough to find out, I assumed Saxby & Martin were the only candidates. This does now make sense. I think Barry should wheel Max Cleland around when campaigning for Martin.

  • Custerwolf

    Sarah has “scheduling conflicts” (i.e., “we’re waiting to see if Georgia Republicans still have a boner for her come run-off time, and if so, then we’re willing to motorcade her on down here, and foot the $150,000 tab for her to play dress-up.”)Meanwhile back in AK, Sarah – already jonesing for mob attention – is sitting anxiously by her Princess phone with fingers crossed….”Oh please….oh, please…..oh, please……)

  • TeddyS

    Spread the word! Saxby Chambliss, trying to keep his job, has seen the light. He swears he is now a moderate Republican, thinks Michelle Obama is hot, believes in gun control, reads books without pictures, watches Rachel Maddow, believes in evolution, can say “Doctor Martin Luther King Junior” without throwing up, has stopped picking his nose while driving and roots for the University of Florida Gators.

  • EggplantParm

    2 typos in that post, ya’ll are drunk on unicorn piss, ain’t ya?

  • Stalkin’ Malkin

    “Scheduling conflicts” = twenty four hours of darkness and 90,000 eskimos, ’nuff said.

  • ms_mcgee

    Oh yes, send WALNUTS to campaign! He did wonders in the general election. (And btw, Palin has scheduling conflicts because she thinks there’s a war in Georgia)

  • WesternCorrespondent

    “Scheduling conflicts” = “I can’t freeload off the RNC anymore, they took away my plane and all of those cool clothes and my hairdresser and my makeup artist and the lowly aides I strongarmed into babysitting and shopping trips and giving me walking-around money…”

    Really, what’s life going to be like now for Cinder-Sarah now that she’s back on the farm? She’ll have to change Trig’s diapers herself now, and probably for the next 5 years (yeah, until she sends him to kindergarten — hah! If the poor kid’s mainstreamed by the time he’s 5 years old it will be due to the high intelligence and devotion of his mother /sarcasm)

  • Jukesgrrl

    Idea for President Hopey: All those guys who want to be Secretary of State? How bad do they want it? Enough to spend a month in Georgia? Send ’em down there and whichever one comes back with Senator Martin gets the job.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=171168]hedgehog[/re]: We? No thanks. Do not feel like undergoing the required prefrontal lobotomy. Squeamish. Ick.

  • Meth Lab for Cutie

    Sissy Saxby no like Vietnam Vets. Or any Vets for that matter.

  • Hostile Michigander

    [re=171143]jagorev[/re]: Back in 2002, the DCCC actually paid to fly in volunteer canvassers for two congressional run-off elections in Louisiana.

    I wish somebody would do that for this race. It’s been years since I got to condescend to any Georgians.

  • Tim3255

    Rahm Israel Emanuel officially accepted his appointment by Obama as Chief of Staff on November 6 2008. The Israeli press & media were beside themselves with applause and cheers.
    Rahm Emanuel is a former investment banker who made millions on Wall Street. Emanuel’s sponsor is the Zionist , Bruce Wasserstein, who is now the head of Lazard Banking.
    Rahm Israel Emanuel is the son of an Israeli physician who was a gun runner for the Irgun, an Israeli terrorist group that murdered Arab civilians in Palestine between 1931 and 1948. Upon his son’s appointment as Obama’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Benjamin Emanuel (”Auerbach” was his original surname) had some choice slanderous words for the Arabs:

    In an interview with Ma’ariv: “Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel,” he was quoted as saying. “Why wouldn’t he be? What is he, an Arab? He’s not going to clean the floors of the White House.”
    The Ma’ariv article also quoted Dr. Emanuel as saying that his son spends most summers visiting in Tel Aviv, and that he speaks Hebrew, but not fluently

    Emanuel, Clinton & Mossad:

  • monty

    [re=171431]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Holy shit, elect somebody based on MERIT? woooooah. thats radical stuff your spoutin.

  • shodan2020

    Palin will be along just for the lulz.

  • TGY


    Oh, hell, I have to vote again.

  • psychedelicSludge

    But can she name all of the parts of Saxby Chambliss?

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=171519]Tim3255[/re]: Can I haz my antisemitizm now?

  • aristoggle

    Help us Help us Obi-ama, you’re our only hope …

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=171519]Tim3255[/re]: Why are you spamming the same tripe in every topic? Did your parents not love you?

  • Jerry

    It’s amazing how you elitist liberal women, who maybe know how to run a vacuum cleaner, think you are in a position to evaluate the intelligence of a woman who runs the largest state in the Union and evidently performs her job spectacularly. Is it because she is a capitalist or because she is attractive that motivates you to come up with some of the most petty childish criticism I have eve heard?

  • rosecitysister

    [re=171124]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I know, right?

    I’m disappointed though, she was kind of entertaining…

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=171683]Jerry[/re]: How is Alaska capitalist exactly? Those welfare queens leech quite a bit off the “lower 48”, not to mention spreading the wealth around with the oil revenues.

    If someone does not realise that “Africa” is not a country, then yes, I am in a position to evaluate their intelligence. I guess that I must be an elitist for having passed the second grade.

    Also, maybe being the governor of the “largest state in the Union” would be a bit more impressive if it had more people than moose. Given that she has seldom even showed up at the Governor’s Mansion and how long the break the legislature has, I think your statement about running Alaska being somehow difficult is pretty goofy.

  • Unindicted Co-Conspirator

    To quote someone far cleverer than myself:
    Your idiotic rant sounded better in the original German!

  • Borat

    Why couldn’t have this happened in West Virginia? A month long toothless hillbilly tour is so much funnier than a month long toothless redneck tour

  • spandrelmatic

    [re=171654]DangerousLiberal[/re], [re=171681]glamourdammerung[/re], [re=171712]Unindicted Co-Conspirator[/re]: Off-topic? Sure. “Antisemitizm”? “Idiotic rant”? Sorry, don’t see it. And unless you’re pro-Irgun and enjoy racist “wit” (to self-evaluate, replace “Arab” with “Mexican”), the “original German” schtick is Palinesque.

    I have more zero-snark commentary to offer, but I’m fresh out of quotation marks. We now return to our regularly scheduled etc.

  • iaro

    Just as my election-withdrawal shakes were starting to kick in, my own state’s senate race comes to my rescue! I hope it never ends.
    Go Martin!

  • LuckyJim

    [re=171745]spandrelmatic[/re]: Thanks for that. There was zero anti-semitism in Tim3255’s post. Maybe it was too much of a non-snark interjection for y’all, but that was the mildest of commentaries on anti-arab attitudes in the form of a lil’ history lesson.

    And Now! Baaack to our regularly scheduled, etc…

  • nurple

    Saxby….that’s a girl, right?

  • nurple

    Jim: Dan Quayle might agree with you, Mario Cuomo won’t.