• The National Zoo is getting an exciting aerial tram, for sky views of Tian Tian and Mei Xiang and maybe Knut, way in the distance. [DCist]
  • Here’s a list of all the fancy D.C. schools Sasha and Malia might attend, which features Insider Knowledge like mission statements copied and pasted from the schools’ websites and Google Earth fotos. [HuffPost]
  • The Metro, which was comically and incidentally swindled by AIG, is now looking for a $400 million bailout. John McCain will suspend replaying the past year in his head, over and over again, to assist in the crisis. [WTOP]
  • Why all your desperate emails for Barry’s 1st Inauguration tickets remain unanswered. [Washington Post]
  • Writers can now compete for the Bob Novak Collegiate Journalism Award, which will be awarded to the young journalist who can kill the most hobos with his/her sports car without drinking. [Fishbowl DC]
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  1. “… and you’ll be interested to know, Mrs. Obama, that our madrassa has the best placement record with elite sleeper cells of any madrassa in the D.C. area.”

  2. Ok, I’m all for new doohickies at the zoo, but when will the construction end?!?

    The building of the new elephant habitat has completely overtaken the zoo and is taking forever. Now there seems to be no end in sight! Take a chill pill, zoo officials. Believe it or not, people will visit, aerial tram or not.

  3. When do we get the week and a half of on-camera bitching from DC’s government officials when the Obama’s announce that they won’t be sending thier kids to Michelle Rhee’s purgatory? They threw a pretty big fit when the Clintons sent Chelsea to Sidwell as I recall…

  4. Teheran has several excellent madrassas for our two loveable tykes, but there are still openings at Amiri Baraka Academy of the Jihad in Newark.

  5. I didn’t know Jennifer Dougherty went to Georgetown Visitation! I was so happy when she beat that scumbag Jimmy Grimes. Woah, local local politics. Sorry.

  6. A tram to see those boring, fat, lazy pandas sit on their ass, eat, and do nothing, not even screw? Fuck that–you can see that in the House gallery. Or on CSPAN.

  7. Maret? Pfft!

    And since they mentioned it, can anyone tell me: Why the fuck is the Potomac School in McLean and the McLean school in Potomac? Don’t both of them suck? I can’t remember.

    ALSO: Georgetown Visitation? I mean, really, WTF? Why that and not JDS?

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