Wonkette
Barry won the election! Now he can talk to the press and finally tell them that he’s not going to change a con sarn thing with our government because he secretly has loved War and poverty and derivatives the whole time. Joke’s on us! Ha ha ha oh well, there’s always 2012 and some Clinton or another. Let’s see what he has to say.
2:30 — It’s 2:30, the scheduled time for the press conference, meaning things should get started by December.
2:31 — Oh no holy poo there’s a guy at the podium! He looks like Jonah Goldberg, WTF! Is Jonah Goldberg going to introduce Obama? Hope!
2:32 — [Sigh]. Jonah Goldberg guy was just saying that the thing is now delayed another 10-15 minutes. Never liked Jonah anyway.
2:32 — We’re watching CNN. Candy Crowley is extremely fascinated by the “diversity” of Obama’s economic team. Business people and academics! Crackers ‘n’ coloreds! Men and wo-Men! Holograms and real humans.
2:35 — We wait. Whatcha saying in the comments, hmm? “Yes We Did”? That’s been a popular one of late. Oh what’s this, do we have a wittle cwybaby in the house?
2:40 — We just tried to perform the very simple task of opening the live feed on CNN.com, which we were hoping to share with you! Then it made our computer download 900 different “java updates” or some bullhickey, so no, thanks. You can try though! CNN.com is located at CNN.com.
2:42 — Robert Byrd is stepping down from his 500-year term as head of the Senate Appropriations Committee. No major reason, just that he’s 91-years-old and senile and dying of various diseases. Well sorry, state of West Virginia! There goes half of your annual state income.
2:44 — Oh just a million more minutes, Jonah Goldberg says.
2:45 — Thank you commenter jagorev for posting this liberal link to NPR’s live stream. Aren’t you people all at home anyway, what with the great depression? Eating chocolate bon-bons and peeing behind the couch?
2:48 — Ah, of course, now there’s another five-minute delay. Why have the motherfucker at all?
2:50 — CNN’s mentioning something about the Iraq War. That thing still going on?
2:50 — Well! Now we’re getting started, and early, if you consider it’s only been 2 minutes since the last 5-minute warning.
2:51 — Every Democrat who wants a job in the executive branch comes on stage and stands with dignity. Most of them are economic people, the various Presidents of Money. Rahm Emanuel is there beating them all up with brass knuckles and cutting off their fingers.
2:52 — BARRY IS STARTING SO NOW ACTUALLY READ THIS.
2:53 — He says that when we woke up today, the economy was, as usual, dead, with the new 6.5% unemployment rate. This troubles the new president-elect.
2:54 — He says he talked to Bush. He’s been talking to Bush. Bush isn’t so happy about the economy either! Ha they are best pals now, it is adorable.
2:55 — Says we need to take Steps to alleviate the situation. Free porn subscriptions for all.
2:55 — #1: Need middle class tax cuts, extended unemployment benefits, other little cushions you have to fill out forms for.
2:56 — #2 (#3? May have been another): Fix the automobile industry. Hmm! Have fun with that. (Yes, though, the remaining 90,000 factory jobs in America were cut in October.)
2:57 — Help families stay in their homes by… taking their car keys so they’re never really able to leave?
2:58 — He says he understands the severity of the tasks ahead. Fortunately, he has a harem of data sluts on stage with him. They will fix money.
2:59 — Questions!
3:00 — Question 1: something about what he thinks he can accomplish in his first 100 days, given all of this economic poop.
3:00 — Answer: “Vague vague vague, vague vague, and vague. Vague vague vague? Vague. Also: more stimuli! For you! Vague.”
3:01 — He calls on “Lee” for the next question!
3:02 — Question 2: When’s this stimulus happening?
3:03 — Answer: If not in a lame-duck session of Congress, then first thing when he’s in office.
3:03 — Oh now we’re getting to the more usual dingbatty questions. Question 3: Iran’s president sent you a letter of congratulations for winning the election. What’s your fucking problem you piece of shit?
3:03 — Answer: Iran Cannot Have Nuclear Weapons. [Whispers to Rahm: "break that reporter's knee. No -- his daughter's knee."]
3:04 — Question 4: Bush is the president, you’re the president, hell, who isn’t the president these days, eh? Who’s president now, guy?
3:05 — Answer: Yes We Can! Oh who knows, whatever the standard politician’s answer to that dumb question would be is what he said.
3:06 — Obama: “Let’s see” [looks at notepad to find non-bitch] “Karen, you.”
3:07 — Karen’s question was boring and the next was boring. Moving on.
3:08 — Uh oh, he done screwed up this time! He calls on Lynn Sweet of the Chicago Tribune Sun-Times, the most knowledgeable and toughest reporter on his record ever. He tries to soften her up after realizing his mistake, asks her why she is crippled today. LYNN’S TOUGH QUESTION: What kind of doggy are you getting?!? Seriously this was Lynn Sweet’s question. Barack literally says “a mutt, like me.” He is being racist against himself! Oh god he is yelling “terrorist!” at himself!
3:10 — Lynn actually also asked about which presidents he’s solicited for advice. He says all living presidents, and then makes a creepy joke about how he hasn’t asked Nancy Reagan to channel Ronald Reagan from the dead. The Conservative Internet must be going livid. Still.
3:11 — Candy Crowley, on her home channel, gets in a question: you’re now getting intelligence briefings, so are we fucked or super-fucked? Is it scary?
3:12 — Barry sweats and offers terribly uncomfortable, awkward laughter. So it looks like we’re somehow getting nuked by Russia and the Soviet Union tomorrow.
3:12 — Shoots a 3-pointer from the top of Paul Volcker’s head into Candy Crowley’s cleavage and calls it a day. OK!
Does it matter what he’s going to say. I know it will be very “Presidential”!
Please stop using this stupid picture. If wonkette wants to make fun of Obama, use a new silly photo. We’ve seen this a billion times.
Is this the speech where Obama reveals he’s an alien robot that has been sent to enslave us all?
the invisible woman: Yeah, isn’t there one of him smoking a joint out by now?
my mac doesn’t like c-span video. why is c-span in the tank for microsoft?
It’s OK, other aggregation sites use a picture of a decomposing horse when discussing Wonkette.
Gasp. His big debut and it’ll be 10-15 minutes late. I guess he’s on BPT…being black and all. Did you know that? He’s black.
is this streaming anwhere?
President Barry is on CP time…
So is this the part where Obama unveils his secret support team, with McCain walking up to the stage and waving, saying “I couldn’t have done it without the perfect incompetence of my man here”?
He’s late. Is this what we can expect from an Obama Administration? Tardiness? What sort of message does that send to the children? Pull your pants up, indeed, Mr. President!
So Obama’s on Clinton-time?
Where is he? He’s late. That Bush guy was always punctual. What the hell ever happened to him?
ok… THIS is where he takes away everyone’s guns and makes them pray to mecca, right? He fulfills every paranoid delusion the bitters have in the next 15 minutes: GO!
Is there anywhere on the net I can watch this live?
dannygutters: CNN.com.
youknew: MSNBC - the in–the-tankiest news site in the history of earth.
dannygutters: cnn.com
I am…Iron Man.
youknew: http://www.c-span.org/
American will have to get used to CPT. Sorry.
Crackers ‘n’ coloreds! Men and wo-Men! Holograms and real humans.
No furries? Goddammit! It’s that cancer-squirrel’s fault, I just knew it!
He’s late cuz he’s probably catching a smoke out back first.
dannygutters: you can watch it on cnn.com
By the way, I love how my browser’s spell-checker doesn’t have “furries” in it but it does have “goddammit”.
SayItWithWookies: Why would you direct people to watch news on the COMMUNIST NEWS NETWORK? Terrorist.
invisible woman might be a bitter, but she has a point, couldn’t you at least blingee it?
I don’t know what Barack’s going to say…but that sign on the front of the podium says “President Elect”.
He’s so uppity.
SayItWithWookies: That Bush guy was always punctual.
It’s a lot easier to be at the podium on time when you pass out wasted underneath of it the night before.
Barry’s got a lot to learn.
This is where he announces the Great Leap Forward. At least the first 5 years of the plan, anywhoo.
God I hope he shoots rainbows out of his palms or something neato like that.
This is wonderful! Wonkette doesn’t even need to post anything and people start commenting. Hey, Jim, how about putting up a blank post and let’s see how many comments it gets.
Barry, when you’re late it makes me worry.
the invisible woman: you have just guaranteed we will see it a billion times more. I, for the record, love it. It’s no bare-chested Hopey, but it is Dissipated Hopey, which is pretty good, too.
I just heard he’s going to come on to “Fear of a black planet” by Public Enemy. Exciting!
My fascist workplace blocks streaming audio/video from the Intarwebs. I weep.
Will he have blue signs with slogans the whole time he is in office? If so, I’m going to ask that my vote be taken back — it’s getting silly.
blinky_twinkie: lulz! I attended a ‘92 Clinton/Gore Rally. Gore had to stall for time by yammering mindlessly.
Bye-bye, Byrdie…what other heads will roll today? Why is Lieberman’s still attached?
I kind of enjoy this cnn video of reporters just roaming around like bored animals.
totoro: Ah, everyone forgets that Clinton Standard Time was always about 45 minutes after the schedule. And hey, if Hopey needs another fifteen minutes to fix the economy, that’s cool with me.
c-span.org folks.
Oh please oh please oh please let one of those ACORN haters in the costumes show up.
Hey, it takes a while to look that hawt…
5 minute warning at 2:43
Relax. Asr Prayer was at 2:23 PM today and he’s just saying some extra supplications.
Imagine42: It grows on you, comrade.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Well, that’s because you didn’t spell furries in 1337.
|=UrRz
See? MY spellcheck said it’s correct.
kthnxby
Monkey: That’s what weekends USED to be like.
Sarah Palin just said: “These ‘press conferences’ of which you speak…. tell me more about them…”
I really do love that picture, though. I’m not sick of it! It’s like, everything I ever wanted in a Prez.
I just hope we don’t have to smelt our metal implements. I hate smelting.
when does he get his laurel and hardy handshake?
elcapitan: or, when you plan on saying nothing coherent and just spouting bullshit. Preparing really cuts into one’s time.
ABC News has it without having to download 8000 different applications.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: That’s because at one time it flagged “goddammit” and you chose to add it to your dictionary - most likely.
You could add “shitfuckpenisfurrymonkeyballs” and it will be in there too.
illnoise: Oooh! Fun! Dissipated Hopey with a tiara and a blinking smoke… aaahhh. We get more like commie France every day.
Hooray for the NPR.org stream. Video streams don’t work on my shitty work internet connection.
Is he going to be 20 minutes late for his first presser?
The satellites are in the tank.
I can see CNN and MSNBC. FOX is just in snow.
Or have they just gone to snow, in some sort of subliminal protest?
You should install the updates. It gives you a sweet Wolf Blitzer holographic system tray strip show.
What’s this? What’s happening? Do I need to refresh. FYI, if you’re still waiting for Hussein I suggest you watch U2 Pop videos on U2be. I forgot how great that album is.
emberglance: PE number one gets the job done.
Here’s the NPR audio stream which doesn’t require Java insanity, for the rest of you with video troubles:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=96748779
jagorev: he’s on President time
There’s a one day sale at Nordstrom!
NPR.org: crackin’ on Obama’s punctuality…prick elitists!
You mean to say Jonah Goldberg poked his head out of the paper bag he can’t write his way out of?
“Candy” is certainly a good name for her.
If they roll out Kim-Jong Il, we’ll know something’s up.
Ooh the camera’s wiggling. Is that a sign? Probably a sign that the cameraman has an itchy foot.
McCainsThirdNipple: whut
Chris Matthews is building up a raging boner for another New Deal.
This is about to shatter the viewer record of the Palin acceptance speech… and the Dewey victory over Truman presser….
I think Matthews does not like Jill Zuckman. He sounds pissy with her.
I want someone to ask how he plans to staff the interns.
hockeymom: In general Chris Matthews does not like human beings with vaginas.
Those of us old enough to remember CPT are not taken aback by the President-elect’s non-Western time sense. Procrastination will be a way of life for us, if we can find some time to get to it.
Holy shit! Obama named Ellen Degeneres Secretary of Alternative Lifestyles! Change I can believe in!
Weeping Jesus: Yeah, apparently he’s just like Clinton in his timeliness. Tomorrow, he could be just cold banging interns and hiring Larry Summer.
McCainsThirdNipple: Bloggers are very much like yourself: Hard at work. They deserve [more than] as much respect as you do… Which is to say that they are, in fact, doing far more than you.
PEOPLE ON STAGE NOW!
These ladies won’t stop blocking the picture to giggle about how they thought the podium said “President Erect.”
Who’s the midget?
The ants go marching one-by-one, huzzah, huzzah!
McCainsThirdNipple: Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
We can’t afford chocolate bon-bons-and good call on the peeing thing!
I wonder if he will open with the first page of the communist manifesto? You know:
A spectre is haunting [America] — the spectre of communism. All the powers of old [America] have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Tsar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.
Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as communistic by its opponents in power? Where is the opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of communism, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as against its reactionary adversaries?
Two things result from this fact:
I. Communism is already acknowledged by all European powers to be itself a power.
II. It is high time that Communists should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the spectre of communism with a manifesto of the party itself.
To this end, Communists of various nationalities have assembled in London and sketched the following manifesto, to be published in the English, French, German, Italian, [Arabic] and [Farsi] languages.
is that the Verizon Network team behind the podium?
Oprah just announced she’s going to lose weight and KEEP it off in honor of Michelle and Barry, the Slenderest First Couple in History!
lots of people lining up
Maybe they shouldn’t put Rahm Emanuel next to the tallest person on the fucking planet anymore.
Why are they all wearing black?
I hope Obama comes out in red leather, just to be different.
Monkey: Not watching, but I bet it is that Robert guy.
Now, the question is…how long does he keep the 27 people on stage waiting?
God bless NPR.
SO TINY!
OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGODHE’SHERE
*faints*
Obama is going to pull off his skin and reveal that he is secretly Pat Buchanan and we just voted a Nazi into power. That’s just the way Hitler did it, too.
Is that teeny-tiny person Rahm Emanuel?
rham emmanuel needs a better nickname than “rham-bo”
he kinda reminds me of philly leotardo. rham-tardo? nah, that won’t work.
“In Case Anyone didn’t know, it says President Elect.” Thankyou dumb anchorlady. Switching streams.
Weeping Jesus: Naw, she said, “Them Press Confrinces yer tawkin’ about; lemme know ’bout ‘em, eh?”
Barry’s got a job! We can all have jobs!
McCainsThirdNipple: WTF?
I do like the subtle lighting of the press room, though. Looks like a snazzy lounge, or a harem even.
Can I just say how awesome it was to see all the reporters stand up as Barack walked in!!
rahm looks like he’s 4 ft. tall
I like this picture of Barry, it is hard to recognize him without a cigarette in his mouth.
the invisible woman: Are you not Sister Truth? (Ellison…)
gl.
http://laist.com/2008/11/07/want_obama_inauguration_tix_know_yo.php
freakishlystrong: I love how over the next few years terms like this that only our people have been using for 40+ years will be introduced to the mainstream. I will take joy every time someone asks “What does that mean?”
Dammit, I’m hungry. I give up. Someone tell me if he unleashes his muslim brigades and sends all the wingnuts to the Yes We Can Re-Education Camps of Change and Hope.
I know we only have one prez at one time but wouldn’t you feel more secure if we just let Bush retire early to his ranch?
freakishlystrong: Why the peeing thing? Do they confiscate our toilets in the Depression? Is that why we’re sad?
Wow, he’s much more boring now that he’s “the man.”
Bush Sucks! Say it, Barry. Get it over with!
Fuck cars. Alternative transportation!
There it is, the Presidential Seal!! IT’S BACK!!
Bush ruined Amurka! Say it, Barry! Say it!
So weird… I can’t remember the last time we had someone speaking a Presidential role who sounded so competent and intelligent.
Yay! Repeal the porn tax and cigarette tax and liquor tax! We’re going to legalize cocaine and heroin and crack and buttcrack!
2:52 — BARRY IS STARTING SO NOW ACTUALLY READ THIS.
Feeling a little sensitive after Monkey’s “blank post” suggestion?
Granholm - MIGILF!
dmdlnt: Yeah, I miss the hollow campaign rhetoric, too.
Rahm Emanuel is hawt.
That was quick
We need a nation of World of Warcraft gold farmers. FARM, BABY, FARM.
I had this weird theory that after being briefed, he’d be like, uhh, fuck it. McCain you can have it. I’m moving to Malta.
WHAT?
Where’s my wealth you promised to spread?????
I want my free money!!!
Most difficult choice: rainbows or unicorns?
Ha! I knew he wouldn’t produce his birth certificate!
He’s stuttering like crazy! How can he be nervous?
Aargh. He used “enormity” wrong. Barry’s got an Acchilles heel.
We’re in a hole! I love it!
Now he sounds like a president!
Boring and flat.
If you have the bigfoot carcass in a freezer, why didnt you bring it to the press conference?
Barry, quit saying “ay” for the indefinite article “a”.
Now I know what it is like to be blind. I want to know what everyone is wearing and if Barry is looking Presidential.
facehead: the invisible woman: Are you not Sister Truth? (Ellison…)
Literate people are not allowed on Wonkette. Shame on you.
THOSE ONES….always looking for more action and stimulus.
Is anyone watching the Dow ticker drop and bounce up, drop and bounce up, depending on what Barry’s saying? I’t slike they don’t know if the statements are good are bad things. Chickens with missing heads. Buy no sell no buy no sell AAAHHHH!!!1!!
He looks tired.
I just had a beer spillover effect, Barry.
i’m so totally gay for a president that speaks in complete sentences.
YAY! I can haz more bailout shopping!!
GIVE HIM BLING!! BLING DAMMIT!!! AND SPARKLE!!!
new blingee o the P-E: http://blingee.com/blingee/view/75327457-Blingee
He responded, alright. In FARSI.
Wait, did some bitch-ass punk reporter call him “Senator” instead of “President-elect”? Rahm Emanuel is going to end him.
Where the white women at?
He called Bush a lame duck!
JadedDIssonance: Are those BAGS under his eyes? Oh Hopey!
I cannot understand these mumbly reporters.
Is he gonna start some sorta tradition of calling reporters by their real names and not some goofy semi-put-down nickname? That’s not presidential.
Barry, you’re The Man…quit talking like you’re still running.
Screw the automobile industry. No one made them turn out SUVs for 90 years. Let ‘em burn. Isn’t that how the market works? Wingers?
Jim, you state, “They will fix money.”
WTF is money? Is it that purple paper stuff they use in Europe?
Jowely McBalderson needs to stop fidgeting so much. It is distracting from President Barry.
Iran sent him a congratulations note? How sweet?
He said “a international”! Barry needs a CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE AND THUGGERY.
Barry didn’t send Iran a note back.
Maybe he’s sending flowers instead.
But you are my President Barry! Fuck that other guy.
JadedDIssonance: He sure *sounds* tired (I’m streaming the audio so I can’t see anybody).
Czn939: In the past five days, the man lost his grandmother, was elected president and has barely slept, and now is talking about the depth of the shithole the US is in. I am giving him a waiver on dramatic speaking right now.
An appropriate response is always a gift basket with fruitcake.
You got a letter from your boyfriend in Iran…how soon will you be making sweet love to him?
Barry should just show up to the White House with a moving van and get it over with.
Did the reporter just say that Bush is still the “decider?” Ha ha
He will use Jedi Mind Tricks to change Bush’s ideas
I don’t have teavea and my all-knowing employer blocks videos. Is he exhibiting Maverick tendencies?
He totally skipped the part where rising food prices force us to turn conservatives into soylent green. Sacrifices must be made.
The Neoskeptic: And uses polysyllabic words.
Hahaha. Send a message to the world: “I am not the president yet.”
Whatever, the world is like, “We are so sick of that other dude. Please God just seize power.”
tunamelt: Yeah, wasn’t it the guy from the Blingee? Barry should send him the Wonkette Blingee.
The irony in your comment about loving derivatives is in that in “Dreams,” Obama dropped a line about working with credit fault swaps at his first job out of Columbia. Ha ha wing nuts. The new great depression is all Obama’s fault, but it’s too late to pin it against him.
Tell Bush to move out and make sure he shampoos the carpets before he gets the eff out. Don’t give that fucker his security deposit back, Barry!
If he just frames it as, “Bush, you can have a 3 month vacation.” you know he’d take it.
saridout: you ever been president-elect before?
Oh, to hear the private conversation between Dubya and Barry. I’ll bet Obama walks away shaking his head.
Every time I look up at the television during this press conference, I think it’s just an episode of 24 airing.
CNN feed blows.
Has be pronouced “nu-cu-ler” correctly yet???
Tra: Too drunk to get to the outhouse…
At what point will we tire of his speech cadences…
AAANNNNNNDDDD…
start making fun of the fact that he puts really long connectors between phrases?
If we set politics aside for a while, then what are we loyal Wonkette readers going to snark about?!
Oh…so NOW is the time to think practically? What was the bullshit in the campaign all about?
Where’s my Manhattan media job, Barry? Like srsly. I’m screwed.
Dear Mahck-moood,
Thx for the lolz! See you at the inauguration/handover to the turrists!
~Barry
The Preznit
LEAVE ALL THE PRETZELS!!!!
“I wanna give a shout out to J-Mac!”
OMG HE JUST CALLED A REPORTER “SWEET”. HE’S SUCH A SEXIST.
Tra:
Soylent Green is Stupid fat bitter People? Sorry man. I’ll stick to Cat Food.
tunamelt: the only thing keeping Bush here for the next three months is seeing how many regulations he can gut before he leaves. You know he is just dying to be done with it.
“Breaking”
Obama breaks a woman’s arm!!!!!
GIMP!
Give the local guy a shout, Barry, then forget they exist… Why does Barry have to speak like a robot?
Oh, the school for his daughters question. Home schooled by Richard Dawkins?
OBAMA broke that lady’s arm…mean ass muslin
hockeymom: He has Ahmadinejad’s cell-y. He’ll just text him l8s.
Who the hell is this dingbat with the broken shoulder? WTF? Asking about the dog?
I love Hopey’s big white teeth. *SIGH*
A Nancy Reagan Astrology BURN.
I LOVE this man.
He spoke to the Living Presidents! No seances! What a fucking “oops”.
oh he’s really working the press today. Can he get more charming?
Shitting on Nancy Reagan! Oh, you’ve done it now Hopey!*
*p.s.: keep it up!
Mutts like me - nice once Bar.
Dog? Mutt?
Best. Quote. Ever.
“A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.”
Will you brush my hair? - next question
No gay-ass Labradoodles, please.
Whatever it is, please name it “sweetie”.
Mutts Like Me!!! Awww!
the invisible woman: Wonkette, please stop using this troll. We’ve seen it a billion times.
holy crap, he just made a racist joke… about himself
THIS WILL NOT STAND
mutts like me!
He just said he was a mutt. I fell in love again.
Will he call on anyone from FOX News?
Oh NOES! The Obama girls in the media Fishbowl!! They are in the Fishbowl!!
Lol, Barry’s a mutt!
oh here we go! “I was just kidding about the tax cuts”
This guy has had his head stuffed with new information, intelligence, and advice these last few days…
He had to be glad for the question about the puppy.
seriesoftubescleaner: I was in the record biz for years, and that’s how we booked recording sessions, it’s a standard phrase amongst the elitist jazz crowd, (the REALLY good playas…)
miss_emish: I forgot to mention my blingee has blunts AND PUPPIES. Well a blunt and a puppy, details. HOPE!
Sorry, richies…your taxes are going UP.
Someone said “bonjour” at the end.
That would have been grounds for an immediate resignation if it had been said by one of Bush’s staffers.
Are you fucking kidding me? That’s it?!?
That was a campaign presser!
Save that “Bon Jour” for your next Palin prank call, bitch.
mutts like me!!!!!! wow. can i run into the streets cheering again?
Memo to Barry: It’s okay to start smoking again. Creates jobs in the Carolinas.
No question on who will be the White House Astrologer?
EPIC FAIL !!!
Rozalia: I’m a mutt! Hooray!
no no no, Jim. the reference was to NANCY Reagan and how she’d use psychics channeling dead president’s to help inform Ronnie’s decisions. it wasn’t about conjuring up Ronnie.
Today, we are all mutts.
Did he really say ‘mutts like me’?
The White House dog will be a half-breed muslin too?
That’s not racial transcendence! Oh wait - yes it is.
Carry on.
After the “mutts” remark he muttered: ” I would sooooooooo hump Palin’s leg.”
NPR commentator says the main purpose of this presser was to distance himself from Bush’s mess, convey the fact that this is still Bush’s responsibility. Sounds about right.
Sweet works for the Sun-Times, not the Trib.
McCainsThirdNipple: they’re still adding value, mofo. as a democrat and a businessman, i can tell you that it’s wonkette does work of value.
tunamelt: you are so easy. I want my stimulus check.
He should start ending all press conferences by pushing over the podium and yelling “OUT!”
Mutts are the New Miscegenation… I’m a mutt! And lovin’ it!
I am cold humpin’ every unspayed bitch in my neighborhood!
Weeping Jesus: Yea, he wants no parts of this shitstorm of an economy.
Well, that’s because you didn’t spell furries in 1337.
Goddammit!
at one time it flagged “goddammit” and you chose to add it to your dictionary
Oh, I so wish I was one of the smart people who know how to do cool things like that. But thanks for letting me know it’s possible! Maybe.
ivenson: Ha ha ha! That is funny.
So the forced incestgaymarriages don’t start until Monday.
… whew …
Shit, Palin could have given that lame a press conference.
Recount!
ivenson: I would pee myself.
I know less now than I did a half hour ago.
Good God, how great it feels to have a president-elect who can string together a fucking sentence!
So, the question remains unanswered: How badly are you going to want to publicly humiliate Human Shitform Lieberman?
magic titty: Actually he said he’d like to get a mutt (like him) from a shelter, but due to Malia’s elitist dog allergy, they may be forced to buy a racist hypo-allergenic beast of some sort from a slave-trading breeder.
A MUTT LIKE ME.
SayItWithWookies: Ask and ye shall receive. Obama as king pot smoking unicorn:
http://blingee.com/blingee/get_code/75330135?image=317344039
I like RahmStein.
Weeping Jesus: Sorry, what do you want from a dude who isn’t actually the president yet? This was reassurance that, y’know, once he actually controls the executive branch, he’ll do something about it, but this is still Fuckstick’s administration.
help us, Hopey-wan. You’re our only hope!
*Hopey* sed Bon jour.
Deepthroat: Thanks — that rocks!
Monkey: This midget is Robert Reich. I love him. Read his blog. It’s tops.
Not enough questions about the puppy. Really, until we get around to working on that cheap clean renewable energy, that’s all I’m interested in.
I hope he gets one of those hairless Aztec dogs they use to cure rheumatism.
Deepthroat: And a tiara too! Yay! Today we’re all gaymuslinpot-smokinterrist mutts!
To be fair, Jim - shooting a three-pointer into Candy Crowley’s cleavage is a “bunny”; it’s like giving soccer trophies to 90s kids for showing up at the game.
I forgot how tiny Robert Reich is. I guess they brought him back because he can gibe blowjobs standing up (on his tip-toes).
the invisible woman: I think they’ve fixed it.
Deepthroat: Beautiful work!
That was bad. Those intelligence briefings are already aging him.
And the stuttering, the stuttering. Every uh and ah made my heart break a little. I think he needs a week off to recharge.
My guess is it’s super-mega-fucked.
No, seriously, we’ve been broke and stupid for so long that the only reason we haven’t had out throats cut as we sleep in one-another’s beds is that our enemies are incompetent. Too.
Comforting thought.
Deepthroat: Hurrah! Our Overlords Approve!
yeah They Blingeed it. When Illnoise talks, people listen.
Michelle needs to take Barry aside and remind him, “Dude, you can’t tell a joke to save your life.”
lagniappe: I noticed that too, instant presto plus 10 years. We are so screwed.
Boring. I wanted something more along the lines of “You muthafuckers disgust me. “
ManchuCandidate: Think of it as “marbling.”
The Neoskeptic:I find watching c-span on cable is easier for the main broadcast on Mac. Mines not a Pentium, but I have to pay for RealVideo that doesn’t stutter. If not a Compac or a Dell, they want you to buy a newer faster Mac and pay for the other platform while you’re at it since it makes at least one new product a year that sells even in a tanking market. United We Stand. The market is all about hostile takeovers cf. The Gates Jobs Handshake; or was it a Gates blows/hand-job? I’m feeling dislexic today. Nobody’s handed over anything yet today in fact from what I heard in that press conference/ nothing but a royal pain in the ass from America’s Make-Believe-Royalty.
lagniappe: I think he’s just being super careful because he’s not actually president yet, and the guy who IS the president sees things pretty differently than he does. If he says the right thing now, it could really mess things up in a big way.
Anyway, everyone knows that Ronald Reagan isn’t dead… he is merely sleeping in a secret cavern somewhere deep under the Simi Hills, until the need of his country awakens him to come forth once more.
yeah, regarding the blingee… I hate my job. Thanks for the love. I feel validated now.
And did anyone notice how Fox News blingeed the headline when Barack won on Tuesday? I haven’t read many threads since then, since I’m anxious to create the impression that I’m working on the transition.
Dave J.: I totally agree.
I do hope we get some insight into the official Bush/Obama dinner party. Maybe the Barney webcam can be hacked.
magic titty: They’re waiting in the car: http://www.rivet-jp.com/sc/loaded/car/lincoln_mark5_79/1651.jpg
Hope you all who voted for the annoited one love giving your wealth away. I read now he wants mandentory servive from grade school to old age. Don’t you just love it!!
red dog: There will also be mandatory spelling lessons.
Weeping Jesus: Her thoughts exactly.
Does George H.W. Bush count as a “living President”?
red dog: What wealth?
policonoclast: Didn’t Nancy consult astrological charts, and Hillary hold seances to talk to Eleanor Roosevelt? (Well, that is how it was reported, even if it was really some kind of goofy focalization exercise.)
YOW BLING!! ME HAPPYZ!!!LOOKAT HIM SPARKLE NOW FAT CATS!!!
Deepthroat: my job is boring too. I feel a sad though that mine was ignored. Come on Wonky!! Ours are strikingly similar. and without cheating!
(blingee here: http://blingee.com/blingee/view/75327457-Blingee)
miss_emish: oh I looked at yours. Not enough rainbows!
miss_emish: I thought the puppy was a very nice touch.
red dog: Between red dog and JESUS IS LOVE, I think we’ve discovered what all the newly unemployed Republican staffers are doing with their time.
Rush Limbaugh will be my new Press Secratery.
It was nice to listen to a President without wanting to kill myself.
http://www.entertonement.com/collections/7015/Barack-Obama%27s-First-Press-Conference
miss_emish: imagine my disdain when i got back from creating my masterpiece to see that you had also done a blingee with a joint (a given) and a crown. what are the odds! In short, I did not “cheat” so quit whining. Also, too much pink.
miss_emish: but really, on the other hand, well played with the doggy
great picture of hopey! i already started defaceing that picture a week ago. yes with the joint, but the unicorn horn is f**kin hysterical!
haha
CollegeStudent: Jeez, Marx and Engels sure wrote pretty.
red dog:mandentory servive?
CollegeStudent: Socialist! Marxist! Elitist! … uh, Sexist!?
jagorev: Her last name is actually Sweet.
Half-breed mutt.
He’s aged about a decade in the past week
i love how “blingee” is covering “here”…because really Change is Blingee
PoliticalGraffiti: I totally agree with you. I didn’t take the Blingee tag being slapped on there into account, but it is SO much better.
Hi hater, hi hater, you see me, I HATER: Why all this hate… WHY???? Now that we have elected a smart, intelligent MAN in to the WHITE HOUSE with some sense why are there steady people talking all this non-sense. Don’t you see that’s why MCcain & Palin (Her off the wall azz) did not win the election. IF they would have focus more about what was going on in the world and what they were going to do… and not so much or should I say always making remarks & comments about OBAMA, then maybe yeah McCain probably would have won. But that probably would not happen anyway his pick for VICE Pres. was PALIN. LMAO. She is so off the wall, what the hell does she be talking about. (”Makevicks”, “I read all the world newspapers”, etc.) Woman please, LOL. Well I guess she can start reading all of them now, maybe she will gain something out of nothing. But… as you might not know DEAR HATER, we love it when yall talk about OBAMA and this new CHANGE… it just makes those who don’t HATE stand out more. While through it all… your the ones’ looking like the fool: WONKETTE.
Bye Hater.
Black_is_President_8itches: i hate your screen name. 8itch