Ha hahTruly, Virgil Goode was our nation’s finest congressman, because only he stood up for America when a frightening Detroit Muslim, Keith Ellison, won a Minnesota congressional seat in 2006. See, Ellison was sworn in using Thomas Jefferson’s Koran, but Goode wanted to use it, for masturbation, because Goode represented Virginia’s 5th congressional district, which includes Jefferson’s beloved Monticello.

Notice how we said “represented” instead of “represents”? That’s because Virgil Goode lost his re-election bid to Democrat Tom Perriello, and will shortly have a press conference to either concede or blame it all on the half-breed Muslins who keep changing America. Oh, and Keith Ellison easily won re-election. [WDBJ-7]

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  • SuperRounder

    One million internet dollars to the person who gets a shot of him conceeding while his daughter (or some random 11 year old girl) cries her eyes out.

  • ManchuCandidate


    Allah Akbar, motherfucker!

  • jagorev

    Salaam aleikum, mottherfucker.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    You can see freedom being chipped away, one blood-sucking dick eating Congressman at a time.
    Is there no JUSTICE?

  • FreshCliches

    At this rate, I wish there were Congressional elections this year. My schadenfreude knows no bounds.

  • FMA

    This is the best week ever.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    Jaysus, what do you do when you’re an embarrassment to Virginia? Move to West Virginia and raise the average IQ of both places?

  • nurple

    Periello? as in “leave your wallet at home!”?

  • V572625694

    The arc of the Universe is wide, but it bends towards justice.

    And runs right up this jerk’s asshole.

  • jagorev

    [re=170407]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I hate you, but not as much as I hate Freedom.

  • Gingah

    In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful…

  • BillyClubb

    I don’t see the harm in deporting Muslins.

  • JadedDIssonance


    “Blame the People’s Republic of Charlottesville and the liberal transplants who’ve retired to central VA?! I suspected that Obama would narrowly win the state, but I thought VA had only caught a light case of “the blues.” This is a major blow, I don’t know if we can recover.”


    Oh Happy Day.

  • hockeymom

    Less than 250 votes separate Coleman and Franken in Minnesota.
    Hopefully, more clerical errors (“clerical errors”?) will turn up more votes for Franken.
    That way, we can focus all our ridicule on Bachmann, instead of having to split time between Bachmann and Coleman.

  • CivicHoliday

    [re=170416]V572625694[/re]: win

    What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell like turds.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Another economic indicator goes south, as the bottom falls out of the douchebag market.

  • JamesMichaelCurley

    Bunch of skirt wearin’ librul wusses won ‘nother election.


    Does this mean that Virgil Goode now gets 77 virgins?

  • Kwame&#39

    بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

  • Carrie_Okie

    haha your god hates you.

  • nurple

    meh..Franken already had his decade.

  • SelfDeprecatingFed

    Good, I had to watch that guy’s terrible campaign adds 2 years ago and I wanted to rip off his arms and feed them to the river people in Goshen.

  • m_supercomputer

    Haha, whose God is bigger now, you asshole?

  • SuperRounder

    If only we could have rid ourselves of Bachmann too. They could have gone on tour together, playing “This Land is Your Land, If You’re A White Man.”

  • OffTheRecord

    Somehow this is Sarah Palin’s fault.

  • erymanthian bore

    Speaking of the river people in Goshen, Indiana finally flipped to the blues — no thanks to Elkhart County, the fucking redneck hellhole.

  • 4tehlulz

    HAHA he even lost the slaveholder vote; gg Virgil

  • rambone

    Wake up white people! Afore it’s too late.

    We must stop the AyRabs from taking over our country. I say we all move to Saudi Arabia and get usselves elected to Pres’dent of their cuntry and show them how it feels. I nom’nate Virgil Goode to inishuyate that plan. toot sweet!

  • V572625694

    [re=170428]CivicHoliday[/re]: It’s really Dr King whose beautiful words got abused there, but thanks.

  • 4tehlulz


  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    In Virgil Goode’s defense, this particular Koran is covered in extremely soft sheepskin, and the former congressman chafes easily.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, sir. I hope the door hits you in the ass harder than your meth-fiend boyfriend, fuckhead.

  • totoro

    I had the misfortune to have this jackass as my congressman in my cville days. That was back when we “fake” Virginians had no clue that we could do something about being ruled by swaggering ignorant bigots. See also, George Allen, Jefferson Davis, etc. It looks like NC has awaken too. Goode and Libby Dole can now both crawl into the same hole and die.

  • stirredNOTshaken

    [re=170459]Kwame'[/re]: oh no you di’int!

  • rambone

    [re=170453]V572625694[/re]: I think I like your version better.

  • emberglance

    [re=170424]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Lovely. And there’s further analysis: “What has happened is that a bunch of ultra-liberal Northeastern elites have poured $$$ into the Democratic Party and were able to buy this election at every level”.

    That is what has happened, no doubt.

  • Thumbcuff

    But, just to be clear, it’s not a mandate for change, nor a rejection of ‘conservative principles’ and we are still a center right nation…

  • cal

    [re=170424]JadedDIssonance[/re]: “People’s Republic of Charlottesville”

    That is the funniest damn thing I’ve read all week. Thank you, sir/ma’am.

  • miss_emish

    I voted for that Muslin! He’s a good dude. Yeah, he won by about 65% to 35%.
    In other MN news, Franken and Coleman are separated by 239 votes. The new total is because, to reference the Start Tribune “Exhausted [Pine] county officials had accidentally entered 24 for Franken instead of 124 when the county’s final votes were tallied at 5:25 Wednesday morning.”
    And we haven’t even done a recount yet! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • thesycophant

    OMG this is good news. Almost makes up for having to deal with Michelle Bachmann for two more years. Almost.

    At least Bachmann continually provides the lulz, though.

  • miss_emish

    [re=170427]hockeymom[/re]: oh ya beat me too it!

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=170407]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=170409]jagorev[/re]: Took the words right out of my mouth.
    I tell ya, had Prop 8 failed, I don’t think I’d know whether or not this was all a wonderful dream.

  • gjdodger

    [re=170442]SuperRounder[/re]: Don’t worry, Caliph Ellison has…special…plans for Babymaker Bachmann. Heh, heh, hehhhhhhh……

  • problemwithcaring

    Welcome to the real Virginia, Virgil. Now…Get the fuck out….

  • Jacobsbladder

    See!! This just proves it! That minister form Iowa was ‘wright’. Allah outweighs Jehovah, and may even be taller. Good only knows how big Krishna must be.

  • Fivetree


    May 70 virgins take a massive steaming dump all over his burned out shell of a political career. He was the lowest of the low, a proud and ignorant racist and bigot.

    As a confirmed atheist, I hold no brief for any religion, Ellisons or Goode’s. But this “my God is bigger than your God” crap is the reason this world is so fucked up in the first place. Those that scream it loudest need to be the first to go.

  • The Neoskeptic

    [re=170424]JadedDIssonance[/re]: as a resident of charlottesville, i can confidently speak for the whole city when i say, “fuck that freeper moran.”

  • user-of-owls

    [re=170423]BillyClubb[/re]: It’s called ‘exporting’ muslins, and we haven’t done that since the textile industry fled to Asia years ago.

  • CivicHoliday

    [re=170453]V572625694[/re]: I know, I just thought we could start throwing more great minds on the literary bonfire

  • Pope Priapus


  • nurple

    Five – my god IS bigger than everyone else’s god, but he’s starting to work out.

  • aleks

    Keith Ellison is nobody’s idea of a frightening anything. I live in his district, and I’ve met kindergarten teachers more intimidating than him.

  • Cape Clod

    Sheesh, The Dems have been taking the Republican’s lunch money in Virgina, lately.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=170480]emberglance[/re]: I really wonder, had I been around to see this happen in 1996, would I have seen the republican control of the capitol as a mandate of the people or a Haliburton Pledge Drive?

    [re=170500]cal[/re]: Honestly, they make it too easy.

    [re=170568]The Neoskeptic[/re]: I happen to like Charlottesville. The main problem with Virginia is that it’s too beautiful to give up living there just because of it’s Appalachian history. The educated have decided to embark on some ideological “terraforming,” which can only improve its good name.

  • totoro

    [re=170438]m_supercomputer[/re]: Yup. I’ve had bigger gods in my stool.

  • katrina

    Keith kicks ass and takes names in committee hearings.
    He also brings teh funny re Bachmann on
    the local lib radio show.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    I fully expect to see him on a Roanoke street corner passing out NOI pamphlets.

  • yellowbug

    I have had it in for Goode since my days working at legal aid in Harrisonburg, VA, when a woman, who had been turned down for our services because she had too much money, wrote to him to complain. He sent her a letter, and CC-d us on it, saying that he would work in Washington to make sure that Legal Aid was required to work for “hard working taxpayers” like herself rather than wasting our time helping “illegal immigrants.” Never mind that legal aid is forbidden by federal law from representing non-citizens and the whole point is to represent POOR people… Also his entire campaign against Charlottesville born-and-raised Periello was based on insinuations that he was some yankee carpetbagger who was outspending him with “outside” money. NB: they spent nearly identical amounts on their campaigns. I have a strong stomach for politicians who disagree with me, but when they are both hateful bigots AND out of touch with basic reality, they have got to go.

  • dougbob

    oh, i love doing the victory dance celebrating goode’s defeat. not that i really ever want to live in his district again.

  • Fact_Chucker

    I remember years ago seeing some Black Muslim concession (can’t remember what it was, honey or baked goods or something) that used the slogan “It’s Alhamdulila Good!”. It always stuck in my head b/c it seemed so anachronistic. But now I think it’s a perfect epitaph for this clown’s downfall: “It’s Alhamdulila, Goode!

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