Anti-Muslim Hero Rep. Virgil Goode Loses

 
 Truly, Virgil Goode was our nation's finest congressman, because only he stood up for America when a frightening Detroit Muslim, Keith Ellison, won a Minnesota congressional seat in 2006. See, Ellison was sworn in using Thomas Jefferson's Koran, but Goode wanted to use it, for masturbation, because Goode represented Virginia's 5th congressional district, which includes Jefferson's beloved Monticello.

Notice how we said "represented" instead of "represents"? That's because Virgil Goode lost his re-election bid to Democrat Tom Perriello, and will shortly have a press conference to either concede or blame it all on the half-breed Muslins who keep changing America. Oh, and Keith Ellison easily won re-election. [ WDBJ-7 ]