Wonkette
Here is your hourly dose of Sarah Palin gossip: rumor has it that the leakers now feverishly promoting the most awful tales of her proud ignorance and white trash spending habits are all former Mitt Romney staffers. A whole truckload of these Romney people were hired by the McCain campaign after their guy bowed out of the primaries, and they spent the rest of the race watching sadly as the yokel and the angry old Panamanian failed to say a single intelligent thing about the economy.
This would kind of suck if your original candidate, the guy you actually liked, could have handled the most pressing political issue of the day about a thousand times better than the actual nominee. But counterbalance your sympathy with the fact that Romney loyalists are by definition fans of the biggest tool invented since the dildo.
Anyhow, recognizing Sarah Palin as Mittens’ most serious adversary in a 2012 presidential run, ex-Romney staffers have now reportedly devoted themselves to quietly talking shit about this lady, all the time. Writes Adam Fogle of The Palmetto Scoop:
FOX News Channel reported Wednesday that some staffers intentionally leaked negative information to the media about Palin in the final hours of the campaign that painted the Alaska governor as naive, incompetent, and needy. And my sources said that all of those leaks came from the Romney faction of the McCain campaign.
…[R]egardless of a McCain win or loss, Palin would be a serious contender for the Republican nomination in 2012 or 2016. And that made her a threat to a possible second run by Romney. You do the math.
This makes us a little sad that Romney didn’t get the nomination this year. His loyal staffers seem like a pack of ruthless little turds, and thus good for quotes, and laffs.
Former Romney staffers behind Palin trashing [Palmetto Scoop]
Conniving back-stabbing Mormons? Oh my, what is this world coming to?!!!!1!
Mormoni vs Pentacostals. That a religious war I’d be more than happy to encourage.
Romney fans fighting Palin fans? This is like Alien v. Predator - whoever wins, we lose.
I’m sorry, but the rumor that she doesn’t know Africa is a continent, I think that beggars credibility, especially since it came from that Fox guy with the slingshot in his back pocket.
I will donate to Palin 2012 just to keep the fun rolling. Though that may be the most disturbing photo I have ever seen on Wonkette. It’s the political version of butt gut on a gurney.
Just because the tidbits were leaked for political reasons doesn’t mean they aren’t hilarious and true.
Mittens is going to have to stop strapping his diarrhetic dog to the roof - that’s easy pickins for a helicopter huntress.
And the scary thing is, that picture of Romney was taken when Palin walked into the room, wearing nothing but a towel.
Whether it be Romninators or whomever. Somebody gave her the “global test” alright, but they stole the Cliff Notes from Kerry.
What’s the difference between Mittens and a Pit Bull?
Tommy Says Soooo: New around here? That’s probably the awesomist photo from this entire insane election cycle.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Don’t think about that too hard.
Editors, please put a recurring appointment in your Outlook to find an excuse to use this photo. It always brightens my day.
Electric Zen: Actually, Mr Magic Underoos is seen preparing for Palin’s cavity search. She might be hiding some dresses up in there. Or Rich Lowry.
I was disappointed to see that the Palin Fail-O-Meter hasn’t made a reprise. The Romney fudgepacker photo remains one of my favorites, however.
If SP is Mittens most serious competition for 2012 the GOP has already lost that election too.
Trial balloon.
Darehead: dooshiness
Darehead:
The pit bull won’t be ruling his own planet in the afterlife?
jbd: Yes, I have a lot of downtime now that Burkle fired me from Air Fuck One ever since Bubba went on the trail. Not as many panties to burn.
Again I feel compelled to point out the utter failure of the Clinton campaign to stack the Democratic campaign with their own bitters and hang Biden on his lack of television history knowledge. The Mormons are so far ahead of the Clintons in this respect for 2012.
Darehead: One is an animal bred for loyalty and ferocity and is somewhat dangerous around children, the other is a dog.
Darehead: Fudge
Between Prop 8 and Palin, I now know never to piss off a Mormon.
ManchuCandidate: It’s likely to be a battle between two single term former govenors with nary an accomplishment to their credit and who will go on and on about how they have the ‘executive experience’ to get the job done.
Mormon Ken vs. Caribou Barbie.
Nov 7th… Mittens weather!
Such an endearing photo! It should of been used to represent Prop 8 in California! I bet everyone is kicking themselves for that screw up to.
After the American Civil War, white-trash dirt farmers and CSA veterans spent their time brooding over the carpetbaggers and federal troops in their midst. They didn’t get really ugly until Reconstruction ended, when they openly murdered ex-slaves and northern sympathizers. Charming lot. Lesson: fuel this little pissing contest as much as possible now, and let the bastards exterminate themselves before they have time to reconstitute.
That’s such an endearing photo. Maybe it should of been used to represent Prop 8 in California. I bet everyone is kicking themselves over it!!!
ManchuCandidate: This war concerns me greatly, and I want to help. How can I make sure both sides are supplied with equal amounts of ammo?
Sussemilch: Great answers y’all, and yours gets the prize. I’m afraid Craig Ferguson staffers might steal that one.
Palin/Romney 2012 “A New Begining”
If loving this ongoing clusterfuck is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Terry: Just because the tidbits were leaked for political reasons doesn’t mean they aren’t hilarious and true.
QFT!
Shit Mitt Fits Mitt’s Mitt.
rocktonsammy: Hopefully party fortunes will have deteriorated enough by 2012 that we’ll be treated to a Mooselini/Ron Paul ticket.
Why did we never refer to her fans as Moosetards?
A film is in the works:
As the Republican Party burns, it’s heavilly armed Mormans vs. Pentacostals in toe to toe combat…
BLOOD ON THE TUNDRA
Be sure to wear your thermal special underware to this one.
DoctorCulturae: Mormons can bring the vicious when needed. Look at the job they did on Prop 8 out here in California.
But, in their defense, they’ll also bring a nice jello mold with chopped up fruit in it.
gurukalehuru: Win. But of course it could be “Shit Mitt Fits Mitt’s Mitt Lit by Clit Fit, to Wit. Also.”
RACHE !!!!!!
vengeful Mormons vs Sarah Barracuda…
A Study in Scarlet II
OT:
MY FELLOW WONKETTE SHEEPLES:
It is our duty at these post-election times to start forwarding the shit out of posts using the fancy “Forward This Post” option to the right of the topic. YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Your CHILDREN demand it. Your NATION commands it.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
So between the back stabbing and RedState’s idiotic “Operation Leper”, it looks like the Republicans have shot themselves in the foot twice. Palin is trashed and Romney is an untouchable. That leaves WALNUTS! who is too old to run in 2012. I guess that leaves the leader of the party as the ghost of Ronald Reagan.
Ha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaha!
why wait for a film (mormans vs pentacostals)? let’s get EA sports to do a video game!
I guess Canadian DJ’s are on Romney’s payroll also.
The one true Jehovah shall smite the Mormons for their persecution of Sarah Palin and the Gays.
I mean Jesus Christ, they’re still suffering from the last time they fucked up and he made them wear that funny underwear.
Kinbote: Cavity searches are required for anyone entering Alaska from the U.S. or from the countries of Africa, Asia and Iceland.
dougbob: Just make a hack of the Left Behind game.
Let’s get serious for a minute: Republicans, especially Mormon ones, hate women except in their proper place which is 3 steps behind. What Romney did to the female acting gov of my state (Massachusetts) and to his female lieutenant governor when she ran to succeed him doesn’t bear thinking about. Whatever possessed ex-acting gov Jane Swift to campaign for the Republicans this time I can’t imagine — tho her glazed eyes while she was doing it might be a clue.
WOAH! Operation Freep Palin? Sounds like seksie starbursts! Freeping freepers.
Mittens = Maverick
I say we dig up a Scientology candidate, then buy up stock in popcorn companies.
ManchuCandidate: I second that!
Why do I have to wait 4 years before the Snowbilly-Miittens bloodbath? Any suggestions on what to do with my time? I hope I haven’t taken enough drugs by then to not know what is going on)
Not_So_Much: Look at the job they did at Mountain Meadows.
ManchuCandidate: How do you pick, whom to cheer?
I was wondering where all the incompetent ass-kissing syncophants that Deval Patrick pink-slipped had gone.
As bad as McCain was on the economy, Obama would have dismantled the Mormon Robot quite handily on that issue. Mitt’s performance on that topic while he was governor of the Bay State ranged from hilariously incompetent to piss-poor. Deval Patrick’s done better, and he flails like a fucking beached squid.
Can I nominate Sara K for a special Blooggey or what ever those awards are called, just for the use of the phrase “biggest tool invented since the dildo”?
If there is such a category, I so nominate. Thank you.
NoWireHangers: I seriously can’t think of a single viable name for the Repub 2112 nomination. However, they should just take it to the logical conclusion and nominate James Inhofe. His veep could be Idaho congresssman Bill Sali, or perhaps Alan Keyes or that smooth asshole from the Family Research Council whose name escapses me right now.
Ah, glorious future…
graceless:
You don’t. I just hope it goes back and forth while the rest of us get on with our lives.
Jeeze, I suddenly feel like Mr Morden from Babylon 5.
Barbie is now pushing for legislation in Alaska which would allow the shooting of Mormons from the air. It seems that they scare the moose.
Nodody hates like Mitt Romney hates. The man drank my milkshake.
The Republicans need someone new, who is true to the soul of Real America. Young, square of jaw, lots of hair and a rant that is pure hellfire and brimstone. So God is in negotiations with Sean Hannity to put together a campaign team for 2012.
The projected outcome: After the internal Republican civil war, Hannity will lose South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi after Rush Limbaugh calls him a RINO faggot who wants to marry Alan Colmes. Utah won’t vote again until the candidate it Mittens. The Dakotas will be empty by then. Alaska seceded in 2010. Texas refuses to participate until it can annex the rest of Mexico.
God goes over to the White House every night and watches Fox News with Barack for a few laughs during the Palin commentary.
Joey Ratz: Do you own a time machine?
True story: (names withheld to protect the innocent)
A cashier was fired from a major retail chain out west several years ago, allegedy stating while checking out several huge packages of toilet tissue, “Wow, you Mormons sure do shit a lot.”
I agree with the terminated employee: one should never be fired for speaking the truth.
Joey Ratz: 2112? I for one, welcome back our alien overlords. (That’s for you RUSH fans out there.)
I say we work on Hopey to change the Constitution to allow the Governator to run for Pres, that ought to be some fun right there.
Darehead: $300,000,000 and a brain? For whatever faults he has, Romney is a wildly successful dude (with nice hair).
Seriously, and from some very liberal, left-leaning Democrats who voted for Obma, it’s very, very simple:
If John McCain had chosen Mitt Romney or Tom Ridge as his running mate, it was a very real possibility that today, Friday, Nov. 7, 2008, we could still be trying to figure out the close results from the election on Nov. 4th. Or, as some people figured, McCain-Romney or McCain-Ridge could have actually won the election in a close race. Again, we don’t endorse any of them, but it’s a distinct possibility that, again, the Nov. 4th election either would have been very, very close, or McCain could have won outright with either Romney or Ridge as the running mate.
Palin is a moron, had no business being in the race, her selection was a completely stupid political blunder, and her selection cost McCain and the Republicans the race. It’s that simple.
J05H:
Well, more like $180 Mil and half a brain. He spent $40 mil of his own money and the whole stock market thing.
Kinbote: Kinbote: “Rich Lowry”
OT–But, I wonder if NRO’s wunderkind has cried such copious tears the stardust has been washed from his eyes?
shortsshortsshorts: I’m pretty impressed by the forward button, as well. This is my day to ponder great ideas:
Wonder if Hopey reads the sage comments/observations of the wonkerrati. Surely no one was more in the tank than we–hell, we were at the bottom, crushed by all the latecomers, like the rednecks for Hopey.
The Angel Maroni appeared in a dream and told them to smite the fertile Anti-Christ.
Joey Ratz: I’d go for Inhofe to be crushed by Hopey in 2012, but only if he starts campaigning now and gets the hell out of the Dust Bowl. We’ve got enough problems–and weird Sen. Doctor Strangelove.
Fun aside: When Coburn ran for the senate, he was caught on tape at a speech in Little Dixie (se part of OK) telling someone that lesbianism was so rampant down there that girls in the schools had to go to the bathroom one at a time so as not to be molested.
My hand to God, I am not making this up. And the dumb okies still elected him. I’d gladly give up my right to vote if someone would just disenfranchise my lameass state.
mattbolt: I lol’d.
Romney must love the ground beneath the Straight Talk Express, as much as they repeatedly throw him under it.
JadedDIssonance: Best Freeper comment:
“The left is very afraid of that lady, and will do anything (as we have already seen) to keep her out of the 2012 race.”
Oh yes, we are very, very afraid of Caribou Barbie. We are shaking in our boots about the Snowbilly Gal. She is a powerful force! She is Apocalypstick!
I can’t wait for these two annihilate each other and open the door nice ‘n’ wide for Jeb. Then I can just sit there with my popcorn and watch the GOP go up in flames. And when it’s all over I’ll say to myself, “Is that all there is to fucktardery?”
shortsshortsshorts: Can we also encourage a link to our accounts like we had before? But with whore diamonds instead of stars?
Joey Ratz: Bobby Jindal?
If anyone’s interested in keeping up with Sarah’s machinations up here, check out Representative Mike Doogan’s web site (http://www.akdemocrats.org/index.php?con_id=28) and email newsletter. Mike’s a former Anchorage Daily News columnist and writes a very entertaining newsletter on what’s going on in Juneau. Much of it’s pretty inside baseball for you Outsiders, but worth a look.
Total LDS mentality. They are infiltrators who will betray you for the cause the second they get a chance. I can’t believe McCain was stupid enough to hire those snakes.
obfuscator:
MOOSETURDS…
NoWireHangers: Great point, we could easily harness the power of stupid by keeping all of the Real Americans in Palin’s base fired up about those Mormon cultists who stabbed her in the back.
Just don’t remind/inform them about the LDS participation in CA Prop 8 though, since they would then feel an unholy kinship.
And personally continue to boycott UT, Marriott, etc. to punish the LDS economically.
greatgooglymoogly: Meaning that I need to go get some rest, as I have a lot of trolling to do on The Enemy’s message boards starting tomorrow. The Republican Party is suffering from a major schism right now — it’s incumbent upon us to ensure that it stays schizzed (a word, not so much, but what I meant, you knew). For once it’s not the Dems infighting; I hardly know what to do with myself.
And now for some fine fudge-packin’! Heeeeeeegnhhh!!