Here is your funny video report from The Onion, about the crushing sadness of Obama volunteers who now have to … who knows? What do people do, anyway? [The Onion]

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  1. We can still demand a recount for Utah.

    Also, this is fun:

    After suggesting that Barack Obama had anti-American views in an exchange three weeks ago with MSNBC host Chris Matthews, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) told Politico Thursday that she was “extremely grateful that we have an African-American who has won this year.” She called his victory “a tremendous signal we sent

  2. They’ll go back to being community organizers in the slums of Chicago where Tony Rezko will feed them acorns so they can steal the midterm elections and get a superduper Senate majority, what the fuck else?

  3. Onion TV is unfunny. The sarcasm of the printed page doesn’t translate to TeeVee for some reason. Must be that ghost box beaming all them images into my brain.

  4. Here’s another thing some of the Obamatards are doing now – they’re trying to make Republicans feel better in a ridiculously cliched and sweet way, which I am sure the bitters will reciprocate by burning a cross on our lawns:

    I would have preferred to invade their homes, seize their guns, burn their bibles, and salt their fields. But, you know, whatever works for you.

  5. [re=170029]Rush[/re]: I guess if by signal she meant, “we, the republican party and its supporters, are a bunch of mouth-breathing, bigoted, hillbilly cretins who will royally fuck this country up if you elect us, so don’t” then, yes, they sent a signal. Christ on a crutch, how the fuck can she say that with a straight face. Botox, maybe?

  6. Saw this earlier this afternoon when I was getting my daily schadenfreude fix over at LGF, and they were getting their schadenfreude fix from the Onion clip, and then it occurred to me how sad it was that this was the best they could do, and then I ran out of smokes and had to go get some fresh air.

    Kill me now.

  7. [re=170034]jagorev[/re]: Wow, that’s the most condescending thing I’ve seen all week.

    But my favorite is the Reagan one that makes claims for the “graciousness” of the “48,” while simultaneously implying that Obama is a hypocrite and stating that Obama and the Dems will kill free speech and… secret union ballots?

    Totally batshit crazy, but tons better than that “Dear 48, you complete me” nonsense.

  8. [re=170072]jagorev[/re]: Yeah, it seems touching until you find out that she gave her grandma the exact same message when the Comcast guy came out to install her cable box.

  9. I just realized today that I have classes full of students and a research agenda to complete. The university will only let you completely ignore your job for so long …

  10. [re=170075]Arturo Bandini[/re]: lol, I thought it sounded more like what you’d say to your grandma when you introduce her to your new boyfriend, and I guess Barry is the country’s new boyfriend…

  11. [re=170072]jagorev[/re]: Seriously this is NUTS! Where is the “from 52 to *46* with unrelenting spite and disgust” ? Hell, I’m in California, so let’s start with this: From 48 to 52 in California: Suck it, you mouthbreathing bigots!

  12. [re=170084]ElectoralGradStudent[/re]: Yeah, those percentages confused me at first. I’m still reeling.

    Are you in SoCal, there are a ton of protests.

  13. So Obama people are like McCain people, without helicopters. I don’t understand you. Don’t you even realize that we have a terrorist President that is trying to kill ALL OF US? DIDN’T you people HEAR the latest word from Washington from our very own LIGHTNING Conservative Billy-the-intellectual- AWESOME-TOWN Kristol is about to attack with his two cannons.

  14. It’s been 17 minutes with no other comments? This is how Bachmann won her Nazi seat. I’m glad Barry has made interwebs entertainment an option, instead of a requirement.

    I, for one, beg for our entertainment intertubes overlords.

  15. [re=170097]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Do you mean the people in charge of the series of tubes? If so, I think their collective hopegasm clogged up the works. (some fucking symbol indicating I’m just joshing goes here).

  16. [re=170097]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You have created tomorrow’s meme, the hopegasm. Today’s ridiculousness is tomorrow’s hopegasm. THEN we are back to snark.
    I hope for this. Hope change hope hope.

  17. I didn’t respond to my own comment… I responded to [re=170098]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: Today’s ridiculousness is tomorrow’s hopegasm.

  18. [re=170103]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I hope the snark returns shortly. I fear, though, that hope is the anti-snark (at least for the time being). I’m drunk as all hell right now, so whatever.

  19. this is sort of off topic, but has anyone heard if rush limbaugh’s head has exploded?i keep wondering how those rightwingnuts are dealing with reality (because i hope ALL their heads have exploded)

  20. [re=170034]jagorev[/re]: Dear Motherfuckers — I don’t give a rat’s patootie if y’all suffer in the desert for forty years. After you failed experiment with fascism, you deserve an education, but your immune system would probably reject it. I don’t hate you, but just get out of the f***ing way.
    Hugs and kisses,

  21. Well, when I found out that the Magic Underwear crew was pumping millions into CA to inflict their own brand of fascism here, I verbally abused the next two who came to my door. That felt pretty good. I think I’ll make it a regular thing, I might add blunt objects into the mix for a little variety.

    … Or we could go back to destroying franchise coffee establishments and corporate art.

  22. [re=170114]Modok[/re]: Jesus Christ. Mittens and his french-braid wearing wives have had too much damn time on their hands. You know what makes me madder? That minorities were not clued-in about equality for gay people. They voted for Prop 8 in droves. Talk about an epic-fail. Gay people need to start paying attention and hit Watts with the good word, as often as they do in WeHo. Ya think?

  23. [re=170124]Mojopo[/re]: Some religious nuts came to my door today and I had to yell them away. Some people don’t want to imagine people are gay just like I don’t want to imagine jesus is real. But after this ridiculous passage of prop 8, i’m still left wondering…WTF HAPPENED TO SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE?
    p.s. Catholics don’t go for the gay and most hispanics are hardcore catolicos. interesting religion. you can do whatever you want and you just have to confess to the dude in a booth afterwards and its all good. but no divorce.

  24. I don’t know what to do. I can no longer loathe Bush, The Clintons, PUMAS, Walnuts, Sarah, Joe the Plunger, the war in Iraq, “The Man” for keeping the black man down or vote suppression conspiracies…WTF AM I GOING TO DO???

  25. [re=170034]jagorev[/re]: God, those kids are generous. Dumb, but generous. Only problem is that these slimers never seem to give up; some of them have been thugs since the days of Nixon.

  26. [re=170034]jagorev[/re]: WTF with the guy holding the bananas? Is he sending some subliminal message to the bitters that he want ass fucking?

    And the person who baked all the cookies and iced them blue or red, has waaaay too much fucking time on their hands and should come clean my house so I can go shopping and help the economy.

  27. I have a fantasy Preznit-elect will ask Obamazombies to “help” others in need by becoming community organizers and teachers in places they are needed most: hard-core red states. They could teach people what countries are in North America, about the diverse countries of Africa, and details contained in the Constitution. Logic, science, even wonder would be by products of this effort. Instead of the War on Hunger or War on Drugs, why not call it, the War on Wingnuttery? The War on Asshattery? The War on Freepery? The War on Meh?

  28. wow…your starting already?…you spent years tearing down every republican…lieing/spining every issue into a world ending terror against bush and the right…breed a culture of fear and hatred towards the man and the right….and now that your guy is gonna be the end target of these critical comments…you want it to stop?….lol…..LOL….no my dear…you guys showed us the play book…now its our turn to be on defense, becouse YOU just RAMRODED AN EMPTY SUIT USING FEAR/WHITEGUILT/SLOGANERING into the white house based on YEARS OF HATRED AND FEAR YOU AND THE SUBJECTED THE WORLD AND AMERICA TO…and now you want it to stop becouse your guy has some VERY SERIOUS WORLD CLASS HOLES IN HIS ABILITY/PROMISE PACKAGE?!?!?! lol…no my friend, it goes on…the first example of a obama presidency is starting now, the stock market is TELLING YOU what it thinks of obama and his economy crushing free check Tax Busting promises…and we all have to suffer under it…so on it will go….

  29. [re=170059]nachoproblem[/re]: There were many times during the past month that wish I could have sicced my voidwalker on those horrid, racist, monsters at the Palin rallies.

    *sigh* I guess Barry winning will have to do.

  30. Well, now that Hopey is elected, my plan is to start taking the winners spoils out of my conservative girlfriend’s ass, and then get progressively disgusted when the far left turns on hopey and start hating on hippies again. It’s a cycle I go through depending on who’s in power…

  31. [re=170197]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]:
    When I drink, I say “Jesus Help Me,”
    ’cause Jesus turned the water into wine
    When I make love, I say JESUS!
    ’cause Jesus Fucking Christ that feels divine

    awaiting lightning bolt.

  32. I didn’t realize, until just this moment, how pathetically empty my life is.
    Oh well, I’ll fill part of the void with some bacon and a bloody mary.

  33. [re=170197]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Hi Jesus Loves. I would just personally like to send out a warm welcome to you. You have taken the time to visit a website that has opposing views from yours in order to share your own thoughts. And if I were able to do so, I would sincerely like to reach out my hand to grasp yours firmly in my own so that I could swing you off the highest brige and watch your body go swirling into the drink below…..
    Take care and godspeed.


    But you can’t say that 10 times fast.

  35. [re=170197]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Which years of hatred and fear were those? Were they the same years in which anybody who opposed the war was an America-hating traitor who loved Saddam? Were they the same years in which anybody who thought it might be nice to give some free cheese to an unwed mother obviously wanted Zombie Stalin to rise from the grave and rule the world forever? Were they the same years in which anybody who thought folks should be able to make life-and-death decisions in the privacy of their own family council was cutting a bloody swath across the land draped in the entrails of the elderly and brandishing pikes spitted with still-squirming infants?

    Nah, I don’t really want it to stop. Really, if what you want is to spend the rest of eternity crying like a toddler at bedtime because some people don’t agree with you, I guess I’m okay with that.

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