WASILLA HILLBILLIES  6:48 pm November 6, 2008

Whack Job Palin’s Diva Exit From America

by Ken Layne

Snowbilly meltdown.As the snow-meth icing on the Baked Alaska of Sarah Palin’s hilarious public self-destruction which is also hilariously destroying the the grisly remaining blood-and-gristle bits of the Republican Party, here is how ABC News describes her exit from the McCain Failure Party, where she was not allowed to speak: “And when McCain and Palin split up in Arizona Wednesday, the personal differences were stark. McCain drove himself home in a Toyota sport utility vehicle. Palin’s departure was a grander event. She left with an entourage of 18 family members and friends and a Secret Service detail, heading to the airport in a motorcade stretching more than a dozen vehicles, flanked by a dozen more cops on motorcycles.” [ABC News via Steve Silberman]

 

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{ 132 comments }

Truculent November 6, 2008 at 6:53 pm

I’m still having issues with the image of Sarah in a towel holding a meeting. She must have read somewhere that Lyndon Johnson used to call his staff into the bathroom for impromptu meetings while he was taking a dump.

NoWireHangers November 6, 2008 at 6:53 pm

Yes, WALNUTS! the noble senator drives himself; what a brave patriot. HAHAHA! Nice try, WALNUTS! We all know you suck. Don’t try to pin all the blame on Bible Spice. You picked her.

NoWireHangers November 6, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Deepthroat November 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm

yeah, but what they didn’t tell you is that the Toyota sport utility vehicle was equipped with diamond encrusted TRUCKNUTZ!

Texan Bulldoggette November 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Jesus, how many family members did the RNC have to dress? More importantly, why is Walnuts driving a TOYOTA!? Japan First!

AngryBlakGuy November 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm

…this is why everything the McCain aides have said sounds 100% plausible. Sarah Palin is all show and no go! She has a need for being the center of attention and is use to manipulating people to get her way.

lumpenprole November 6, 2008 at 6:59 pm

God I hope there are people telling her that it was all the old man’s fault.
LET SARAH BE SARAH!

Anita Cocktail November 6, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Haha, I wonder what poor schmuck got the nasty-ass job of repossessing Palin’s clothes?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/06/gop-lawyer-dispatched-to_n_141897.html

yorktronic November 6, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Everyone knows she can’t drive.

ManchuCandidate November 6, 2008 at 7:02 pm

So this is what it feels like shooting Wolves from a helicopter.

dmdlnt November 6, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Don’t you know? She’s not a diva, you betcha!

Dave J. November 6, 2008 at 7:02 pm

As an Obama supporter, can I send a belated thanks to Walnuts! for waiting until AFTER HE LOST to start acting like a decent guy? What the fuck!?!?! How pissed would you be if you had supported him, and then he waits for his fucking concession speech to give one of the best speeches of his life, and then acts like a regular guy and drives home in his car (albeit with Lindsey Graham riding shotgun).

Meanwhile, I want Palin to have the EPIC FAIL, but can she please wait a bit longer to completely flame out? This is going way too fast! The “Palin has teh suck” stories are like crack for my soul, but she’s going to burn them all out in like a week. We need to make this shit last, people!

Scandalabra November 6, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Todd and the clan will settle for no less than snowmobilecades from now on.

Dave J. November 6, 2008 at 7:04 pm

[re=169821]NoWireHangers[/re]: Gah, the font on that banner. Who designed that, a group of 3rd grade teachers? (My wife is an elementary school teacher, so I’m allowed to make fun of them.)

Viva la Cynthia November 6, 2008 at 7:04 pm

Good-bye, snowbilly queen of the tundra! Please never return!

Gopherit November 6, 2008 at 7:05 pm

Walnuts can drive???

And, um, that’s not a Murikan car. Just sayin’.

Viva la Cynthia November 6, 2008 at 7:06 pm

“McCain drove himself home in a Toyota sport utility vehicle.”

Wait, does that mean he left Cindy and the kids at the hotel? That’s not very nice, grandpa…

One Yield Regular November 6, 2008 at 7:06 pm

[re=169844]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Win.

Boozeweek November 6, 2008 at 7:07 pm

“When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”

– Sinclair Lewis, 1935

“When fascism comes to America it will be dressed as a sexy librarian and carrying a retarded baby. Fortunately, fascism will speak in an incoherent, comically-accented word salad that reveals fascism to be an ignoramus. Fascism will then be loaded into a 12-vehicle motorcade and banished to the tundra from whence it came. The End.”

– Boozeweek, 2008

OffTheRecord November 6, 2008 at 7:07 pm

Can anyone name one thing this woman did in the terrifying six weeks she was in our lives that was not tacky? I cannot. Literally everything she does is tacky. How is that possible?

nachoproblem November 6, 2008 at 7:07 pm

John McCain IS Sir Simon Milligan.

“Tonight, evil sleeps alone! But first, evil drives alone… to the corner store… where he purchases pornography…”

Modok November 6, 2008 at 7:08 pm

I just have to say that is a great picture of her and there have been some good ones out there.

… Is she savoring or trying to get the taste of ass out of her mouth?

Min November 6, 2008 at 7:09 pm

Bye, Sarah. Don’t let the Canadian border hit you in the ass on your way out.

Modok November 6, 2008 at 7:10 pm

[re=169854]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: He’s fleeing the interview! He’s fleeing the gosh darn interview!

ManchuCandidate November 6, 2008 at 7:10 pm

[re=169860]nachoproblem[/re]:
Heh. Where’s Evil Man Servant Hecubus when you need him?

nachoproblem November 6, 2008 at 7:12 pm

[re=169868]ManchuCandidate[/re]: In a motorcade, apparently.

rocktonsammy November 6, 2008 at 7:14 pm

The republican and Palin’s demise reminds of the end of the movie Casino,

“They’re never going to give guys like us something this big again”.

sezme November 6, 2008 at 7:15 pm

“I’ve been working over 20 years in Washington and I’ve been around literally dozens and dozens of politicians. She is among the smartest, toughest most capable politicians I’ve ever dealt with,” Scheunemann said. “She has a photographic memory.”

If so, she appears to have had the lens cap on most of the time.

problemwithcaring November 6, 2008 at 7:15 pm

[re=169824]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Watching them board McCain’s jet to go back to Alaska it was fucking disgusting. There had to be 20-30 people that walked on that plane, all pausing in the plane’s door to wave…not wanting the 15 minutes to be up…. It was like a hillbilly family reunion – where did all that white trash come from? Who were all of those fucking backwood ‘bamas?? Jethro? Ellie Mae? Did she fly in the entire fucking clan on the GOP’s dime?

loquaciousmusic November 6, 2008 at 7:15 pm

[re=169865]Modok[/re]: Hehe. I love YouTube.

BlindHabaneroJefferson November 6, 2008 at 7:16 pm

[re=169841]Anita Cocktail[/re]: “The Louis Vuitton? Nooooooooo!”

ella November 6, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Palin’s next tattoo: Let Them Eat Cake.

NoWireHangers November 6, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=169821]NoWireHangers[/re]: There was an extra comma in there.

(Hangs head in shame)

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2008 at 7:18 pm

I feel so much safer now that someone’s keeping an eye on Russia. Piper’s just not tall enough to see it yet.

ChrissMari November 6, 2008 at 7:18 pm
twoeightnine November 6, 2008 at 7:19 pm

[re=169848]Dave J.[/re]: That’s straight out of The Print Shop for the Commodore 64. Adobe hasn’t quite made it north of Vancouver yet.

problemwithcaring November 6, 2008 at 7:25 pm

[re=169879]NoWireHangers[/re]: Please, a comma? Dude, have you tried reading any of my error-filled comments??

No? Oh. Right.

PopeyesPipe November 6, 2008 at 7:25 pm

I am reminded of “Las Vegas Hillbillies” and its sequel “Hillbillies in a Haunted House.” Unfortunately, in real life, we don’t get a guy in a gorilla costume and a Merle Haggard song. Sad.

hrhkingfriday November 6, 2008 at 7:26 pm

also, see http://vimeo.com/2076088

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Schadenfried November 6, 2008 at 7:31 pm

[re=169859]OffTheRecord[/re]: Well…she was quiet during the consession speech. Maybe I’m reaching.

Them November 6, 2008 at 7:32 pm

[re=169874]sezme[/re]: Nicely said.

[re=169846]Dave J.[/re]: Agreed, but I’m just grateful this stuff’s coming out at all. I was expecting to have to resume my wretched normal life yesterday, but have retained my addiction to this clusterfuck of fail as more and more humiliations pour forth. So thank you, Walnuts!, for bein’ all maverick-y, and thank you, Ms. Palin, for being the dumbest, vainest, least deserving politician in the long and dubious career of politics!

problemwithcaring November 6, 2008 at 7:41 pm

[re=169894]Schadenfried[/re]: True, but she was totally the “hovering hag.”

TARDNFETTERED November 6, 2008 at 7:43 pm

Palin was just the biggest float in Mcain’s Bad Decision Parade.

If you had asked me “How many bad decisions could be made by the McCain campaign”? My answer would never have been, “How many decisions will there be”?

ladymacbeth November 6, 2008 at 7:45 pm

i’m pretty sure she started this thing with only six family members.

wallythepug November 6, 2008 at 7:46 pm

[re=169874]sezme[/re]: win!

GlennBecksTaint November 6, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Now Sarah can go back to Plan A, getting Alaska to secede from America.

Terry November 6, 2008 at 7:50 pm

Oooh, she better enjoy it while she can. The Alaskans seem to be a bit annoyed at the travel and such she was billing to the State. I bet her wings will be clipped when she gets home.

War Eagle November 6, 2008 at 7:52 pm

The guy who approved the “Sarkozy” interview, Steve Biegun, was the No. 3 National Security Council official under Condoleezza Rice.

I suddenly feel even more concerned about the security of my country for the next 75 days.

blader November 6, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=169844]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
you win

Kos November 6, 2008 at 7:57 pm

I don’t think McCain will ever comment on this. Everyone keeps saying that Palin under the Bus is about the GOP trying to figure out the future of the party. I’d say there is a 3rd power at play…McCain’s own reputation for his remaining days and his place in history. Some revisionist could say that, but for Palin, McCain could have won, blah blah (bullshit btw OBAMA!). Right now, McCain and the anti-Palin GOP are on the same side. Let’s see the pushback.

I’ve decided that Kristol is either a Double Agent really working for the DNC or the stupidest man alive. I’m happy either way.

PS I never added Palin to my spell check and I’m glad I don’t have to.

AnnieGetYourFun November 6, 2008 at 7:57 pm

I, too, was hoping that the burnout would longer, more glorious and filled with more back-biting and hair-pulling and bloody bodies piling up.

Que Sarah Sarah, I guess.

Kos November 6, 2008 at 7:57 pm

[re=169844]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ditto.

Josh Fruhlinger November 6, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Not to hate on Walnuts The War Hero Who Was Tortured For Our Sins, but … can you drive a car if your arms are as immobile as his?

demtard November 6, 2008 at 8:01 pm

[re=169821]NoWireHangers[/re]: Heh. In that pic, you can tell she’s got crabs.

blader November 6, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Here’s my analysis:

The best quote in this whole steamy affair–”Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast.”–bothers me.

It’s just too smart to have come from that campaign…unless…

Was one of our Wonkette editors working for McCain? fess up

Hooray For Anything November 6, 2008 at 8:04 pm

It wasn’t easy, they think I’m lame
When I try to explain how I feel
That you still love me after all that I’ve done

You don’t believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she’s dressed up to the nines
Thanks to money I stole from the RNC

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Who’d want to stay here in Alaska?
Looking out of the window, seeing Vladimir Putin

So I chose freedom
Runnin’ around, buyin’ everything new
Oh gosh, nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to

Don’t cry for me Wassalia
The truth is I never left you
All through my campaignin’
My blown election
I went Rogueing
Don’t keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I invited Bill Kristol in
Though it seemed to the world I’m all he desired (wink)

I’m an illusion
We are not the solutions they promised to be
Joe the Plumber was here all the time
I love you and hope you Real Americans love me

Don’t cry for me Wassalia
The truth is I never left you
All through my campaignin’
My blown election
I went Rogueing
Don’t keep your distance

Have I said too much, oh gosh?
There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you.
Because I’m illiterate anyways
That’s at least true

Anita Cocktail November 6, 2008 at 8:06 pm

[re=169877]BlindHabaneroJefferson[/re]: Yep, it takes a mean sonofabitch to pry the Louis Vuitton out of the 8 year old’s hand…

AnnieGetYourFun November 6, 2008 at 8:07 pm

[re=169930]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Wow. I’m going to be singing that all evening now. DAMN YOU.

edgydrifter November 6, 2008 at 8:09 pm

By golly, that’s just livin’ frugal the Alaskan way! You betcha!

AnnieGetYourFun November 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm

I don’t have kids, but I sort of look forward to the day that I do, so that I can relate the disgrace that is Sarah Palin in the same voice that my parents used to tell me about Nixon.

ivenson November 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm

[re=169868]ManchuCandidate[/re]: No Hecubus, No check-u-bus.

brain meats November 6, 2008 at 8:16 pm

She’s going to be heehaw-larious during the eleventy gajillion republican primary debates if she hasn’t been indicted for something by then (or isn’t a “Senator” by then). Can’t you see her dukin’ it out with Jindal? Huckabee? Mormatron 3000? THAT will be must see TV.

Palin’s milkshake won’t bring anyone to the yard if Hopey has just one home run in his first 2 years & the repubs know it. Too. Also.

Giant Robot November 6, 2008 at 8:17 pm

If I had to pick a favorite…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07kO9TtHYzQ

TeddyS November 6, 2008 at 8:18 pm

A temporary farewell to Bible Spice. Goin’ back to Alaska where she is hated by Democrats and won’t be given a cushioned landing by the Republican old boy network that she went mavericky on. As the long winter sets in, we can get all hopey that she will stare into the embers of her failed candidacy and listen to the shouts of the doomed rightwingers: Come back, Sarah! Save us! We shall deck you in mink and baby seal and anoint you as the heart of Real America.

Come springtime, Levi will tell Bristol to take a hike and Sarah will hire her former brother in law to shoot him. Then she will be hailed for defending the family honor and return once again to the Lower 48 to start her new campaign…because she has a few winks left, botox is available and she is too damned stupid not to do this all over again.

blader November 6, 2008 at 8:23 pm

[re=169942]TeddyS[/re]:

You forgot the part about the Palins are already booked on Springer for a February broadcast.

Deepthroat November 6, 2008 at 8:28 pm

wow. O’Reilly and Shep are giving each other handjobs and talking about how they have to tell lies everyday because they work for Fox news…

wheelie November 6, 2008 at 8:31 pm

[re=169930]Hooray For Anything[/re]: lovely lovely lovely

ladymacbeth November 6, 2008 at 8:33 pm

in other news, apparently we’ll always have silvio. he rivals our Bible Spice for the fun.

stew November 6, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Wasilla Hillbilly! New Fox sitcom–I can dream, can’t I. “Grab yer partner by the hair, through her down and leave her there!”

Servo November 6, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Pretty flashy departure…for a carny.

Servo November 6, 2008 at 8:47 pm

[re=169957]stew[/re]:
I like the Bugs Bunny square-dance better.

Grab a fencepost
Hold it tight
Hit yer pardner with all yer might
Hit him real low
Hit him real high
Stick yer fingers in his eyes

smellyal8r November 6, 2008 at 8:50 pm

[re=169942]TeddyS[/re]: Your lips to God’s ears. Where was Levi btw? Getting a finger chopped off on an oil rig? Didn’t he get to take the “last flight home to Alaska”? Wonder what kind of car ride that was from the airport to the Wasilla compound? Hopefully Begich will win that Senate seat once ALL the ballots are counted and that’ll be the last we hear of Mrs. Palin.

Norbert November 6, 2008 at 8:51 pm

[re=169961]Servo[/re]: i sing it often! whirl, whirl, twist and twirl, jump around like a flyin’ squirrel

ronaldpagan November 6, 2008 at 8:52 pm

[re=169957]stew[/re]: I would prefer a drama with some somber, angsty narration from Trig. Wacky neighbor Ted Stevens can provide some levity.

Servo November 6, 2008 at 9:05 pm

“…And for our runners-up, each will receive a copy of the Calamitous Campaign Home Game.”

Pop Socket November 6, 2008 at 9:23 pm

But what job is she qualified to do as failed Veep candidate?

http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2008/11/sarah-palins-next-job.html

Does Wasilla need another Mary Kay representative?

Sister Wolf November 6, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Oh, poor Trig. Will she give him back to Bristol or pawn him??

Munson Thurd November 6, 2008 at 9:31 pm

Is that a gigantic stone phallus on her desk?

http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/6513/dingusna2.jpg

No wonder the Todd feels inadequate

DoctorCulturae November 6, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Professional Numbers Lemur Guru Nate Silver is on the Rachel show. Revenge of the supersmart nerd!

forgracie November 6, 2008 at 9:59 pm

Sarah, we hardly knew yee-haw…

Weeping Jesus November 6, 2008 at 10:03 pm

I feel bad for her. I mean, it’ll be at least 8 months until it’s warm enough for her to wear only a towel.

WonkaBee November 6, 2008 at 10:07 pm

you know, don’t you, that Todd will get his revenge …..

wonkthis November 6, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Now she has time for a cameo in Nailin’ Pailin’.

Weeping Jesus November 6, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Now we can watch the World Series without all those annoying political commercials. This is going to be great! Go Cubs! Go White Sox!

gliberal November 6, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Reserve your seats now for the next apocalypse, as the Republic party again provides us with fresh hilarity and limitless mirth in “2012 Sarah the Sequel”, starring Trixie, Trig and the whole wacky gang. We now return you to “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?”, an L. Flynt production.

Texas2Step November 6, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Good-bye and Good Riddance, Ms. Palin!
We’re so thankful that we
Will not have to see you again!
I’m sure Katie Couric’s still having a laugh
at your hillbilly ways, your persistent gaffes,
and the newspapers that you can’t name.

“Oh, but it’s sad when think you will win
And that you’ll get to be the VP!
People are much smarter than I ever knew!”

Way Smarter….Than you!

Polly Sigh-Entist November 6, 2008 at 10:20 pm

[re=169940]brain meats[/re]: I bow to the intellectual heavyweight who can intelligently relate Kelis lyrics to politics. Well played, my friend. Well played.

hobgoblin of little minds November 6, 2008 at 10:23 pm

[re=169997]wonkthis[/re]: Scene synopsis: Palin emerges from the bathroom, wearing only a towel, to meet with campaign advisors. A comical discussion of energy policy ensues…then, drill baby drill.

Haters and Hippos November 6, 2008 at 10:50 pm

People, is it hypocritical of us to say that the Palin family is a bunch of WT hillbillies when we worked so hard to elect a president we are going to patriotically give our money to in order to redistribute to said white trash losers.

chalkgirl November 6, 2008 at 11:08 pm

Not a diva my ass. Doesn’t she have her own personal tanning bed in the governor’s mansion?

nachoproblem November 6, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=169938]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wow, that’s close to home. The earliest thing I can ever remember about politics is my Dad explaining to me “what Nixon did.”

flapjackjackson November 6, 2008 at 11:16 pm

I have a feeling we might see a Palin/Hank Williams Jr. ticket in 2012. Hank Jr.=Jesus+cocaine+cop shades

MFAWG November 6, 2008 at 11:18 pm

I don’t know why I feel the need to defend her, and I know I do so at great peril around here, but here goes:

Sure, she’s the type of vapid, willfully ignorant little drama queen we’ve all met at some point or another, usually with a couple of rugrats in tow. She’s no worse than any of a half dozen equally clueless types out there. And yes, she represents pretty much all that is wrong with open mouth yokel fundie wing of the Republican Party. All that said, at the end of the day she’s no worse than any one of a half dozen insanely stupid public figures I could point out on both sides of the aisle.

It’s pretty easy to see that they’re just throwing her under the bus to deflect the blame for the campaigns execrable performance and McCain’s almost bizarrely disjointed behavior.

I knew when they picked her she was expendable, but I never imagined they’d scapegoat her so completely.

Custerwolf November 6, 2008 at 11:24 pm

[re=169858]Boozeweek[/re]: Literary gold my friend.

Custerwolf November 6, 2008 at 11:32 pm

[re=169873]rocktonsammy[/re]: Reminds me more of Flowers for Algernon:
“I dint know mice were so smart.”

Custerwolf November 6, 2008 at 11:38 pm

[re=169882]ChrissMari[/re]: I’m guessing it’s Sarah swearing in her secretary of groceries.

AgentSparks November 6, 2008 at 11:51 pm

Ken, this should’ve been your Political Machine piece. All those ass hurt Hilltards and neocons would’ve went apeshit over this!

Mr Blifil November 6, 2008 at 11:58 pm

In fairness to Palin and her entourage, it should be noted that while McCain drove himself home sans retinue, he did take time to shower after the concession speech and sat behind the wheel wearing nothing but a towel.

Custerwolf November 7, 2008 at 12:03 am

[re=170028]MFAWG[/re]: Isn’t that sorta like saying, “Feh…there’s already one HUGE pile of dogshit in the middle of the floor – what’s a few more?”

AgentSparks November 7, 2008 at 12:11 am

[re=170052]Mr Blifil[/re]: He has nymphs to bathe and serenade him once he returns home to the Sedona McMansion/Lair…

“The royal penis is clean, your highness”

Unindicted Co-Conspirator November 7, 2008 at 12:13 am

[re=169819]Truculent[/re]:
I also remember reading that Nixon would come out of the toilet next to the Oval Office with his hands still wet, hopefully from washing them.

ManchuCandidate November 7, 2008 at 12:16 am

[re=170028]MFAWG[/re]:
They threw each other under the bus. Bible Spice for being a diva dumbass who got pwned by Katie fucking Couric and Walnuts because she’s done that to everyone who has helped and didn’t old man loser smell on her family’s $200K wardrobe.

She wanted to fly in Mig Alley and got blown out of the sky.
Rule #1: Don’t fly in Mig Alley unless you can handle Migs.
Rule #2: Don’t fly in Mig Alley if you don’t have the (intellectual) firepower.
Rule @3: Don’t fly in Mig Alley if you don’t know which way is up.

schvitzatura November 7, 2008 at 12:26 am

[re=169873]rocktonsammy[/re]:

A lot of holes in the tundra, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package on your snowmachine. Otherwise, you’re talking about three to six hours worth of digging permafrost. And who knows what’s gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin’ night (better part of the day in December).

MFAWG November 7, 2008 at 12:28 am

[re=170055]Custerwolf[/re]:

At this point it’s more like cleaning up the dogshit on the living room floor while ignoring the vomit under the couch.

She’s an easy target, but she’s not where the stench is coming from.

HuskyMescan November 7, 2008 at 12:44 am

I expect she’ll give back that RNC gas money that drove all her Wasillabillies to the airport.

aleks November 7, 2008 at 1:17 am

[re=169820]NoWireHangers[/re]: THats; the logna nd sort of it isn’t it? Erverything he sais about her is true, but yet he picked her.

Thumbcuff November 7, 2008 at 1:45 am

I always thought she was Dolores Umbridge. I kind of expected her to be molested by a horde of centaurs in the Forbidden Forest. Or is that what this is?

Murilee Martin November 7, 2008 at 1:51 am

I totally need to make a Sarah Palin custom van now. Who knows a good airbrush artist?

shortsshortsshorts November 7, 2008 at 2:01 am

SEX PISTOLS TUMS EVIL DEAD COMMUNIST PBS did this to us. More mindless chants, like asking for more cowbell.

Mull_Man November 7, 2008 at 2:04 am

“Todd, does this asshat make my head look big?

punto November 7, 2008 at 2:35 am

Um… I think it’s just HALF-baked Alaska…

contentsunderpressure November 7, 2008 at 2:43 am

[re=169950]ladymacbeth[/re]: haha, he so admires the tan. The man is incredible!

blackarachnia November 7, 2008 at 3:27 am

the bitterz made a video to commemorate Bible spice’s departure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqnm3A10m8I

ServiceJervixJuice November 7, 2008 at 6:29 am

[re=169858]Boozeweek[/re]: AAAAAA…HA HA HA! Boozeweek! I declare…

Lazy Media November 7, 2008 at 7:03 am

[re=169841]Anita Cocktail[/re]: There’s a body that will be found at the spring thaw.

TGY November 7, 2008 at 7:21 am

Nothing in the campaign became her like the leaving of it.

TGY November 7, 2008 at 7:29 am

You did notice that the ‘Africa is a country’ is just a misstatement? That’s what comes of believing Fox News.

TGY November 7, 2008 at 7:30 am

Also, I don’t believe we’ll see her back in presidential races ever again.

Herunar November 7, 2008 at 8:09 am

[re=169894]Schadenfried[/re]: She wanted to deliver a speech but was rejected.

Terry November 7, 2008 at 8:22 am

[re=169929]blader[/re]:

That quote bothers me because it’s an insult to hillbillies.

regisgoat November 7, 2008 at 8:28 am

Speaking of that fine magazine Boozeweek, I used to love Magazine (the band).
How about overlaying this sinister hit to footage of the Royal Palins packing into the plane and returning to their fragrant lair for the long, long Republican winter?

Thunder shook loose hail
on the outhouse again
today I bumped into you again
I have no idea what you want
but there was something I meant to say

As the day stops dead
at the place where we’re lost
I will drug you and fuck you
on the permafrost

There’s not much that I miss
I’m far too forgetful for that
sugar’s sweet some of the time
it’s hard to keep some things in mind

As the day stops dead …

wonkthis November 7, 2008 at 9:27 am

@ hobgoblin of little minds: Nah sounds too crazy! She’d never just walk out into a room full of total strangers with just a towel on! Sounds too much like Bo Derek in “10″.

How about this: Bristol, tired from a day on the campaign trail, opens the door to her hotel room and discovers Levi and Sarah goin wild like in the Taboo series. ;-)

Georgia Burning November 7, 2008 at 9:48 am

Sarah and Joe the Plumber, think about it. The same unheralded genius found both of them in the rubble of his campaign. As a reality TV producer Walnutz can make a fortune instead of sleeping with one!

juan pueblo November 7, 2008 at 10:09 am

even hillbillies have better sense than to pay RETAIL.

liquiddaddy November 7, 2008 at 11:11 am

It’s so sad. McNasty drove about 20 miles an hour and had a line of cars backed up behind him busily honking. He never moved his head or used his mirrors, as he drifted in and out of his lane. Instead of heading home, he wound up in Prescott, and was eventually found by the highway patrol in a confusional state at a highway rest stop after AZ issued an Amber Alert.

saucemaster November 7, 2008 at 11:28 am

john mccain fucking drives a japanese ‘car’ ?

Lemming Caution November 7, 2008 at 11:28 am

[re=169860]nachoproblem[/re]: does that make Palin Hecubus?

sevenrepeat November 7, 2008 at 11:30 am

Maybe that’s just considered public transportation in Alaska with them getting their big fat oil checks and all.

trh November 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm

PS Stephanie Miller quoted the first half of this paragraph on her show this morning on 1150AM.

sevenrepeat November 7, 2008 at 12:54 pm

Oh, and my mom said Sarah Palin was “bright”. Even the baby Jesus laughed.

permial November 7, 2008 at 11:38 pm

Do any of you really think this is a matter of importance? My condolences to the human race. People are starving, being killed for corporations, while the United Corporation of the Planet gets control of every aspect of our lives. Why are you talking about an insignificant person from Alaska (just for your information, what are the first four letters in the states name? Did you get that one?)? Shouldn’t all of you, with an IQ higher than the average mean temperature where she comes from be thinking of other things? By all that you hold holy, realize that this is a topic that should die. Just answer one question for me, please. Why is this even important?

worrierqueen November 8, 2008 at 3:05 am

[re=169961]Servo[/re]:

My favourite is from StuartJoshua from the huff

Come and listen to the story of a man named Todd.
A poor snowmobiler barely kept his family shod.
Then one day he was goin to Payless
And from the lower-48 come a bumblin mess.

Hero that is.
GOP
Arizona Tea.

Well, the first thing you know, Simple Sarah’s a candee-date.
Only problem is she’s full of sh*t and full of hate.
Kinfolk said Warshington’s where ya gotta be.
So they maxed out the plastic on a white trash shopping spree.

Ignorant that is.
Classless.
Clueless.

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