fear of a black planet

Current White House Dog Goes On Biting Spree

Barney, currently the only black male in the White House, is extremely pissed off since hearing he’ll soon be deported to Texas so that a black human can be the president while some common mutt street dog will become the nation’s new First Pet. So Barney just cold bit this douche Reuters reporter, who had it coming for a long, long time. [YouTube/Raw Story]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  1. PoliTacky

    There’s an AP reporter sitting on an important leg-humping incident, if it doesn’t break by 4PM PST, I’m calling censorship!

  2. The Pumpernickel

    hahaha! O wow, that’s great. Sounds like someone listened to Barack’s speech Tuesday night. No one likes hearing about the new dog in town. It’s like hearing your ex talk about their new girlfriend. Except instead of an ex, it’s the White House, and instead of a new girlfriend, it’s a bitch. Wait a second…I guess they’re bitches in both cases.


  3. stlellen

    Wait … so, are there reporters out there every day, waiting for Barney to make an appearance? I love this country.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Hey leave poor Barney alone. Who enjoys having their morning dump interrupted, let alone by a bunch of douchesacks?

  5. Blue Line

    I was expecting a story about Sarah Palin, but instead it’s about a different bitch.

    (Sorry…I couldn’t resist.)

  6. SuperRounder

    Caribou Barbie just chose the dog as her 2012 running mate. She was quoted as saying, “We have a black President, we should also have a Black Vice-President. You betcha.”

  7. Hooray For Anything

    Looks like all those classes at the Dick Cheney School of Dog Training has finally paid off

  8. miss_emish

    But he’s such a dignified little solider! Barney doesn’t have time for the press nonsense. He is da boss, of the white house and there’s a lot to get done before January!

  9. grendel

    Now all the secrets will come out about Barney… The sexual assaults, violence against women, and shorting asset-backed securities on a shadow derivatives market.

  10. PopeyesPipe

    Is there any occupant of the current White House that isn’t vicious, haughty, and unstable? Clearly, no.

  11. Pat Pending

    I think Barney’s pissed because he just found out that he’s related to Fala.
    (oh, go look it up…)

  12. DoctorCulturae

    Idiot. Anyone who reaches down to pet a dog they don’t know deserves what they get.

    Dogs like this are like teh Bitterz.

  13. prettyboywally

    It’s good to know that the Bush administration employs gay people, because that was the nanciest-sounding voice I’ve heard in a long time. And the Reuters reporter was a little light in the loafers too, looked like.

  14. Mel_David

    Well you have to remember, Bush doesn’t have adorable little children like Obama does (that we get to watch grow into hot young barely legal teens over the next 8-11 years), he has deplorable drunken adult children who do not live with him. So this dog really gets no love. I mean, who’s giving this dog love?

  15. Modok

    WTF’s with Bubble Boy the Reporter there, “Wash and bandage it daily”? Get a shot and put some Unguent on it you pansy. The dog prolly needs the antibiotic me than he does, I’d bet Barney has his own aide to lick his ass for him.

  16. Putz

    That came out of nowhere. What kind of damage did they do to that dog? At least my psycho dog lets you know he’s upset/scared so strangers know better than try to pet him.

  17. WikipediaBrown

    Haha maybe McCain should’ve picked Barney instead of Palin. He is obviously more effective in terms of dealing with the “gotcha media” than she is.

  18. LittlePinky82

    LOL at Barney. I guess he doesn’t want to go back to Texas and be a lone with Bush. I guess he was so desperate. I would be too if I had to live with Bush. Yikes!

  19. TexasCowGirl

    I had no idea Barney was such an ungrateful, uppity negro! Next thing you know he’ll be talking about crazy nonsense like running for President.

  20. ocirats

    Did anyone else notice the sorry excuse for a “leash” on poor Barney? It’s not even a real dog leash, it’s a red nylon rope wrapped around Barney’s neck like a hangman’s noose. As a dog owner, I would consider this a choking hazard – but then again, maybe it’s a symbolic act of lynching that Barney’s owners would like to wish on the White House’s next black resident.

  21. regisgoat

    “I’ll bet he f*ks that little dog”–La Wanda Jackson, in the classic “Shakes the Clown”

  22. nurple

    New law – scotties may only be owned by 40’s Vassar coeds in kilts. No one else understands them.

  23. iolanthe

    [re=169718]PopeyesPipe[/re]: Laura seems nice enough. I wouldn’t call her vicious, haughty, or unstable. Just one of those nice ladies with a “thing” for stupid men. She reminds me of my perfectly nice bright sunny-tempered cousin, who was married for years to a complete and utter douchebag.

  24. iolanthe

    [re=170242]iolanthe[/re]: Ah, God. I just used “nice” three times in one paragraph. Must be the hangover. Sorry.

  25. Borat

    So this is the evolution of post-election reporting?

    I seriously thought W would have a meaner dog, like a Rotweiler or something. My cat could take that dog out.

    Anyway, I’ve been screaming for blood all this election and we finally have some – I just didn’t think it would come from a reporter

  26. Mel_David

    [re=169832]Roguesmommy[/re]: Eh, Laura never struck me as a dog person. But I just rewatched “W” last night and Stone portrays Bush as quite fond of Barney. And he hasn’t done anything in the last two years except give a handful of 10-minute addresses that were written by someone else. So I guess Barney is getting enough attention.

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