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FEAR OF A BLACK PLANET

Current White House Dog Goes On Biting Spree


Barney, currently the only black male in the White House, is extremely pissed off since hearing he’ll soon be deported to Texas so that a black human can be the president while some common mutt street dog will become the nation’s new First Pet. So Barney just cold bit this douche Reuters reporter, who had it coming for a long, long time. [YouTube/Raw Story]


5:33 PM on Thu November 6 2008
By Ken Layne
3138 Views

  1. Cape Clod says at 5:36 pm, November 6th, 2008

    That dog hasn’t been right since his master dropped him on his head.

  2. PoliTacky says at 5:36 pm, November 6th, 2008

    There’s an AP reporter sitting on an important leg-humping incident, if it doesn’t break by 4PM PST, I’m calling censorship!

  3. Dashboard_Buddha says at 5:36 pm, November 6th, 2008

    That first still at the end is priceless…what shiny white choppers!

  4. The Pumpernickel says at 5:37 pm, November 6th, 2008

    hahaha! O wow, that’s great. Sounds like someone listened to Barack’s speech Tuesday night. No one likes hearing about the new dog in town. It’s like hearing your ex talk about their new girlfriend. Except instead of an ex, it’s the White House, and instead of a new girlfriend, it’s a bitch. Wait a second…I guess they’re bitches in both cases.

    http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

  5. Gopherit says at 5:39 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Any dog that bites a member of the MSM should receive a Medal of Freedom.

  6. Imelda Snarkos says at 5:39 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Team Barney.

  7. FreshCliches says at 5:40 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I’ve had it with that worthless cur desecrating the White House.

    Barney too.

  8. stlellen says at 5:40 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Wait … so, are there reporters out there every day, waiting for Barney to make an appearance? I love this country.

  9. Should’ve been you, Hannity.

  10. SuperRounder says at 5:40 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Jeebus. Even the dog’s like “Well fuck it then.”

  11. HAHAHAHAHA! Should have bitten the whole useless White House press corps.

  12. StrangelyBrown says at 5:41 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Well, that pretty much sums up the last eight years.

  13. Barney has exactly the same temperament as John McCain. Palin/Barney 2012

  14. ManchuCandidate says at 5:42 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Hey leave poor Barney alone. Who enjoys having their morning dump interrupted, let alone by a bunch of douchesacks?

  15. Gopherit says at 5:42 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Gopherit: And a milkbone. Good Barney! Now bite some politicians, too!

  16. Worlds End says at 5:43 pm, November 6th, 2008
  17. Mizz Beazley is going to cap that dude next week.

  18. Blue Line says at 5:43 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I was expecting a story about Sarah Palin, but instead it’s about a different bitch.

    (Sorry…I couldn’t resist.)

  19. Itsjustme says at 5:43 pm, November 6th, 2008

    How about the woman when they were walking away, “Bye Barney.”

  20. SuperRounder: Barney’s all “We’ll do it live!!!”

  21. This is not the promised “big Sarah Palin post” that was supposed to be “coming up next”.

  22. SuperRounder says at 5:44 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Caribou Barbie just chose the dog as her 2012 running mate. She was quoted as saying, “We have a black President, we should also have a Black Vice-President. You betcha.”

  23. Didn’t Barbara Bush do the same thing to Helen Thomas during the first Bush admin?

  24. Cape Clod says at 5:45 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Frankly, that was probably just a cry for help.

  25. madtowngooner says at 5:46 pm, November 6th, 2008

    That black sonovabitch.

  26. SayItWithWookies says at 5:46 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Barney’s been angry ever since Randy Scheunemann accused him of trashing Sarah Palin.

  27. “Barney The Biter”

  28. magnetogurl says at 5:47 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Hey, where’s the promised Palin post??

  29. NoWireHangers says at 5:50 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Can you blame, Barney? He’s used to feasting on the fingers of infidels.

  30. Custerwolf says at 5:50 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Cough up his current rabies certificate or Barney goes to Guantanamo for quarantine.

  31. Hooray For Anything says at 5:50 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Looks like all those classes at the Dick Cheney School of Dog Training has finally paid off

  32. V572625694 says at 5:51 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Shouldn’t that be “Incumbent White House dog…”?

  33. Rodney Badger says at 5:52 pm, November 6th, 2008

    This post is only metaphorically about Sarah Palin.

  34. miss_emish says at 5:57 pm, November 6th, 2008

    But he’s such a dignified little solider! Barney doesn’t have time for the press nonsense. He is da boss, of the white house and there’s a lot to get done before January!

  35. TootTootToot says at 5:57 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I’m glad we’ve run out of news now that the election is over.

  36. Giant Robot says at 5:57 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Well done Barney. See you on Colbert’s next ‘Threat Down’

  37. Rodney Badger says at 5:58 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Hey everyone, check out all these awesome predictions:

    http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/11/06/bad_prediction/index.html

  38. miss_emish says at 5:58 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I just discovered the most adorable website, it has photos through the ages of Presidential Pets.
    http://www.whitehousehistory.org/03/pets/index.html

  39. Now all the secrets will come out about Barney… The sexual assaults, violence against women, and shorting asset-backed securities on a shadow derivatives market.

  40. PopeyesPipe says at 6:06 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Is there any occupant of the current White House that isn’t vicious, haughty, and unstable? Clearly, no.

  41. Pat Pending says at 6:14 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I think Barney’s pissed because he just found out that he’s related to Fala.
    (oh, go look it up…)

  42. HuskyMescan says at 6:15 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Impeach!!!

  43. Pat Pending says at 6:16 pm, November 6th, 2008
  44. DoctorCulturae says at 6:24 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Idiot. Anyone who reaches down to pet a dog they don’t know deserves what they get.

    Dogs like this are like teh Bitterz.

  45. Roguesmommy says at 6:27 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I think the dog was just offended about his awful, awful haircut

  46. astroprofeddie says at 6:27 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Can I haz reprtr?

  47. slinkimalinki says at 6:30 pm, November 6th, 2008

    or maybe barney doesn’t like people who don’t know how to use the passive voice.

  48. NoWireHangers says at 6:32 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Hooray For Anything: Dick Cheney suckled Barney at his teat.

  49. prettyboywally says at 6:46 pm, November 6th, 2008

    It’s good to know that the Bush administration employs gay people, because that was the nanciest-sounding voice I’ve heard in a long time. And the Reuters reporter was a little light in the loafers too, looked like.

  50. That’s what he gets for saying “oh, bite me” in front of a dog. Dogs are so literal, you know.

  51. Mel_David says at 6:52 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Well you have to remember, Bush doesn’t have adorable little children like Obama does (that we get to watch grow into hot young barely legal teens over the next 8-11 years), he has deplorable drunken adult children who do not live with him. So this dog really gets no love. I mean, who’s giving this dog love?

  52. WTF’s with Bubble Boy the Reporter there, “Wash and bandage it daily”? Get a shot and put some Unguent on it you pansy. The dog prolly needs the antibiotic me than he does, I’d bet Barney has his own aide to lick his ass for him.

  53. Roguesmommy says at 6:57 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Mel_David: Laura

    You just left that one open didn’t you?

  54. Stalkin' Malkin says at 7:05 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I had to feed Jenna six appletinis and a handful of Xanax to get that treatment.

  55. yorktronic says at 7:07 pm, November 6th, 2008

    That’s not the kind of pussy reporter I can believe in.

  56. That came out of nowhere. What kind of damage did they do to that dog? At least my psycho dog lets you know he’s upset/scared so strangers know better than try to pet him.

  57. WikipediaBrown says at 7:49 pm, November 6th, 2008

    Haha maybe McCain should’ve picked Barney instead of Palin. He is obviously more effective in terms of dealing with the “gotcha media” than she is.

  58. God, that fucking dog is ugly! I say hang the little mutt. Along with his owner.

  59. LittlePinky82 says at 8:53 pm, November 6th, 2008

    LOL at Barney. I guess he doesn’t want to go back to Texas and be a lone with Bush. I guess he was so desperate. I would be too if I had to live with Bush. Yikes!

  60. TexasCowGirl says at 10:52 pm, November 6th, 2008

    I had no idea Barney was such an ungrateful, uppity negro! Next thing you know he’ll be talking about crazy nonsense like running for President.

  61. Now he has the taste for human flesh!

  62. Did anyone else notice the sorry excuse for a “leash” on poor Barney? It’s not even a real dog leash, it’s a red nylon rope wrapped around Barney’s neck like a hangman’s noose. As a dog owner, I would consider this a choking hazard - but then again, maybe it’s a symbolic act of lynching that Barney’s owners would like to wish on the White House’s next black resident.

  63. MrsNateSilver says at 3:44 am, November 7th, 2008
  64. skyinator says at 8:30 am, November 7th, 2008

    So that’s what happened to Rahm Emmanuel’s middle finger.

  65. regisgoat says at 8:33 am, November 7th, 2008

    “I’ll bet he f*ks that little dog”–La Wanda Jackson, in the classic “Shakes the Clown”

  66. New law - scotties may only be owned by 40’s Vassar coeds in kilts. No one else understands them.

  67. natteringnaybob says at 9:47 am, November 7th, 2008

    He had black eyes…like a doll’s eyes.

  68. juan pueblo says at 10:14 am, November 7th, 2008

    mofo dont play that..bitchazz paparazzi…

  69. iolanthe says at 10:30 am, November 7th, 2008

    PopeyesPipe: Laura seems nice enough. I wouldn’t call her vicious, haughty, or unstable. Just one of those nice ladies with a “thing” for stupid men. She reminds me of my perfectly nice bright sunny-tempered cousin, who was married for years to a complete and utter douchebag.

  70. iolanthe says at 10:36 am, November 7th, 2008

    iolanthe: Ah, God. I just used “nice” three times in one paragraph. Must be the hangover. Sorry.

  71. So this is the evolution of post-election reporting?

    I seriously thought W would have a meaner dog, like a Rotweiler or something. My cat could take that dog out.

    Anyway, I’ve been screaming for blood all this election and we finally have some - I just didn’t think it would come from a reporter

  72. Mel_David says at 12:44 pm, November 7th, 2008

    Roguesmommy: Eh, Laura never struck me as a dog person. But I just rewatched “W” last night and Stone portrays Bush as quite fond of Barney. And he hasn’t done anything in the last two years except give a handful of 10-minute addresses that were written by someone else. So I guess Barney is getting enough attention.

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