Everyone point and laugh at him now, for he has erred, my friends, and now the principal is tugging him by the ear into detention to try his War Crimes: “Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will meet with Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman this afternoon to discuss the wayward Democrat’s future in light of his enthusiastic support of Republican Sen. John McCain’s presidential candidacy.” Unfortunately Harry Reid is the disciplinarian here, so somehow the meeting will end with Lieberman firing him. (Which is fine.) What really needs to happen, though, is for Barack Obama to beat the shit out of that rancid twatwaffle Lieberman on the Senate floor again. [WSJ]
Joe Lieberman To Have ‘The Talk’ This Afternoon
by Jim Newell
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Kill him! Terrorist!
Reid: “Ummm…. uhhh. Mr. Lieberman…. umm… sir?
Lieberman: “I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.”
Reid: “Yes sir. Anything for you sir.”
Where’s Preston Brooks when you need him?
(OK, 1: Dead and 2: Not on our side… but you take your savage cane beating references where you can get them…)
Make sure it’s near a flight of stairs, because it’s good for kicking someone down.
We’ve heard old Harry has a backbone, didn’t he stand up to the Mob or something? Time to kick Joe to the curb. You like that side of the aisle, Joe? Good, ’cause you have a bit more in common with them now.
My fantasy version of the meeting:
Reid: A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles.Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins.
Dems: Team!
[Reid beats Joe Lie with a baseball bat]
“Rancid Twatwaffle” pretty much sums this all up..
Now, Joey, what we call “DEM-O-CRATS” vote this here way, and those “RE-PUB-LI-CANS” vote that way. Did you forget that? Hmm?
I wish they would let Jim Webb handle this one.
Schadenfucked! MOO HA HA!
Elsewhere I read a truly splendid suggestion for an appropriate punishment for Lieberman. He should be tied to the bumper of Obama’s car and dragged down Pennsylvania Avenue in the inaugural parade.
Leeberdork should be the new Preznit’s shoeshinist, replete with asshat outfit and kneepads.
I loved how Lieberman’s latest blast of ether-induced insipidity was something along the lines of “America would not survive a filibuster-proof Democratic majority in the Senate.” The Civil War was a picnic compared to Mark Begich and the Udall Twins, apparently.
Why can’t Rahm have “the talk” with him?
Harry is going to fold faster than Kerry on election day in 2004.
I’m sure we’ll get some bullshit “Senator Reid and Senator Lieberman agree that the nation’s struggles require the dedication of every member of the Senate, and look forward to working together on these challenges” statement. All references to Vinegar Joe eating a bag of dicks will be removed in the final draft of the statement.
Sweet, sweet comeuppance!
Actually, I’d rather see Jim Newell kick the shit out of Liebs. He’d do it with gusto. You know it, Jim. You hates him so.
Can’t we just have a national referendum on whether to melt Lieberman in a vat of Republican spittle…?
I pine for the good ol’ days when Congressmen would bring their guns with them (for duelin’) and every once and a while someone would get a thorough caning on the House floor…
Can’t we have a duel or a caning like the good old days in Congress? A glove slap fight? Fisticuffs?
Blunt has resigned his whatever it is office in the senate and is being replaced by Eric Kantor (R-Vir), aka Dixie Jew. Joe L. will feel right at home.
If Joe votes straight R after he changes parties, will Conn. voters recall him?
Joe the always-on-the-wrong-side-of-history.
Maybe he’ll retire take the chairmanship of a typewriter company. Or Betamax factory.
[re=169088]Cape Clod[/re]: Webb carries. He could pistol whip that whiny little weenie.
Lieberman should be chained up to Ted Stevens and James Imhoffe for the duration of this Congress. Make him wallow in the stupidest of his new friends.
Oh to be there when Reid explains that Senator Joe’s new office used to be the “Colored” restroom in the Senate basement. And a shiny new tin can, plus string, will be installed later.
[re=169085]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I was thinking more along these lines:
Joey, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you at in the Senate, I don’t want you near my house. When you come to Washington, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?
First Reid will kick his sorry ass to the curb, then Johnny-Mac will throw him under the bus. Walnutz must be pissed off at him, Tail-gunner Joe couldn’t even deliver his home state!!!
Wonder if Joe and Hadasah (or whatever her name is) will retire to Florida? Maybe they can find a nice bridge club to join.
[re=169090]llyn[/re]: Joe L. should have his ears stapled to the rear bumper of an old pickup truck, which will then roll down Pennsylvania Avenue at a leisurely pace while packs of rabid, horny baboons use him as a jizz depository.
I think I stole most of that from Hunter S. Thompson, but it doesn’t make it less true.
I think “Flacid Twatwaffle” suits him better.
I heard that some think that Joe should be appointed as ambassador to Israel as a show of bipartisanship on Obama’s part. I say that an even BIGGER show of TRUE bipartisanship would be appoint him ambassador to Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, or better yet: Special Envoy to Iran. Now THAT would be a sign of true bipartisanship.
[re=169092]DoctorCulturae[/re]: MUST BE SHORTPANTS
[re=169088]Cape Clod[/re]: That would be something to see
“rancid twatwaffle”
Eloquently stated, perhaps a little too generous. Thow that douche under the bus!
joes on msnbc right now
Making him come all the way to your office for a sternly worded memo, Reid? That seems so harsh.
Wait, if they boot him out of the caucus does that mean that the GOP gets to control the senate for the next month and a half?
As long as we’re going movies, how about Mr. Blonde?
“Listen kid, I’m not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don’t know, but I’m gonna strip your of your committee assignments anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It’s amusing, to me, to torture a quisling. You can say anything you want cause I’ve heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain’t gonna get.”
[re=169106]NoWireHangers[/re]: No gloves — just a regular, teen-girlish slap fight would be awesome!
Poor Droopy Dog — nobody wants him as a pet now.
Reid to have “come to Jesus” talk with Lieberman.
[re=169144]norbizness[/re]: Funny, now that you mention it, Joe does look a little like Mr. Pink!
I don’t know what libruls are complaining about – the guy loves the party so much, he selflessly removed himself, thereby no longer smearing the good name “Democrat” with his unseemly affiliation…what more do you folks want?
Poor old Holy Joe… Johnny Mac didn’t give him sweet snugglins’ when he could have been a mavericky veep choice, and now Harry Reid is going to kick him out of his abundant mormon pillow palace… what’s a lizardlike douche to do? Become head of the Palin 2012 exploratory committee! That’s something we can all get behind, because whatever Joe touches withers and dies.
[re=169122]FMA[/re]: Win! I was thinking of something involving honey and termite mounds.
[re=169150]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Correction: “come to MORMON Jesus” talk with Lieberman.
Poor Joe, I’m sure once everything started falling into place on Tuesday he was up all night praying the Dems pulled off a 59 + Joe Senatorial victory. As things stand, he’s now just a 5th wheel. I suspect Harry Reid will be giving him the Fredo Corleone treatment this evening. A big kiss on the cheek followed by a “plane ride to Miami”… “I know it was you Joe… you broke my heart… you broke my heart.”
my thinking is this: if he ‘disappears’ and we ‘replace’ him with Hagel, who will know the difference? Then my vote for the Chicago style politics platform would not have been in vain
Joe Lieberman is going to be one lonely mofo. He’ll have to eat lunch all by hisself for the rest of his term.
I don’t understand why they haven’t recalled him already. He totally lied to his constituency to get them to vote for him and he’s done nothing but be a right wing tool since then.
I just find him so repulsive and irritating
I liked Lieberman a lot more when he was starring on that space alien sitcom with Bill Bixby.
Just appoint him ambassador to Israel. Then Ct. Gov. Rell could name a real Democrat to his seat.
Banjos start playing.
Reid: “You look just like a hog”
Lieberman: “What’s this all about”
Reid: “Take your pants off”
Pelosi: “Don’t say anything just do it”
Reid: “Squeal little piggy, squeal”
Lieberman “Uh, Uh …. Uh, Uh”
Reid: “AHHHHHHHHHHH”
Obama walks in.
Obama: “Joe, you got purty lips”
Obama should strand him in Harlem right at sundown on Friday. That would force him to take a cab or try to run for his life.
Reid: Describe what Barack Obama looks like!
Lieberman: What?
Reid: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say ‘what’ one more goddamn time.
Ezekiel 25:17, etc.
[re=169106]NoWireHangers[/re]: ooh! ooh! celebrity boxing with… Nader? (C’mon Obama’s too much man)
[re=169162]Dave J.[/re]: They have a Jesus? I thought they were just about pederasty and plural marriage (and singing). Is Mormon Jesus more like CEO Jesus or Warrior Jesus?
What’s worse, Joe playing ball with the GOP, or McCain admitting that he’s an “air pirate?”
Probably Joe, because at least the Viet Cong had enough decency not give McCain a standing ovation.
[re=169106]NoWireHangers[/re]: I will go for the gloves, NWH. Boxing gloves. Harry was an amateur boxer, you know, and I for one would like to see Vinegar Joe’s upper and lower plate flying in opposite directions.
[re=169185]elcapitan[/re]: Ha. Win.
[re=169191]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Mormon Jesus hung out in the New World, telling the Indians (or, rather, “the lost tribes of Israel”) about why they should worship him, after he got killed in the Middle East. It is very compelling stuff. Then he wrote some stuff on gold plates and buried them in upstate New York, and then sent the angel Moroni to visit Joseph Smith and have him dig up the plates and write them down in a book, but then destroy the plates for some reason nobody has really figured out.
How does one serve a Twatwaffle? Whipped cream is clearly called for, but what about syrup? Kind of sticky.
The talk? Like the birds and the bees? As in these birds peck out your eyes while the bees sting you mercilessly?
[re=169150]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Damn it, I wanted to use that line. How about “come to Jesus, he has something waiting for you”–a 48 oz, solid hickory, Reggie Jackson signature baseball bat, with which The Lord will smite Vinegar Joe, the end.
If Reid won’t kick Joe to the curb, it’s time to send Reid packing.
I am all for Obama’s post-partisanship revolution, but this is too far. Lieberman is a professional betrayer. We need him gone.
In any event, filibuster-proofing or not, if Dodge Rahm Truck can’t peel off a few moderate GOP senators to support something like health insurance (Mormon heaven knows Harry Reid doesn’t really give a shit), then he isn’t worth the minimum wage they’re paying him as Chief of Staff.
For fuck’s sake, at least make them go through the filibuster so we have a campaign ad snippet for the 33-35 Senate seats available in 2010.
[re=169168]dano[/re]: No, he will sit at Lindsey Graham’s table for sure. You know, I tried not to be a dick in high school, but there WAS a freakin’ table of losers. And not amiable losers who just couldn’t help it. There were, like, Columbine losers without the freakin’ guns.
The Hill says he keeps his gavel for now:
http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/lieberman-keeps-gavel-for-now-2008-11-06.html
[re=169185]elcapitan[/re]:
Reid: Does he look like a bitch?!
Lieberman: No!
Reid: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Joe?
Krusty’s Accountant: So let me get this straight – you took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it AGAINST the Harlem Globetrotters?
Krusty the Clown: [miserable] I thought the Generals were due!
Reid? Boring. I want Rahm to have a ‘little talk’ with him.
Two condor-egg omelets coming up!
More movie dreams:
Rahm: Joe, Obama says plans have changed, you’re going to go to the meeting in separate cars. Harry will catch up with you and meet you there.
Joe: Hell, he can’t do that, that ruins all my arrangements.
Rahm: Well, that’s what he said.
*Webb appears*
Joe: I can’t go with you either, Joe.
*Joe now surrounded by 5 men pointing him to the car*
Joe: …Tell Barack it was only business. I always liked him.
Rahm: He understands that.
Joe: (to Gore) …Can you get me off the hook? For old time’s sake?
Al: Can’t do it, Joe.
[re=169177]chascates[/re]: Yeah, but Rell’s a Republican. Not that she could do much worse than Lieberman, but still…
gah! fifth line is for Rahm, idiot!
OK, one more, and I’ll slink off….
[after bad guys hit police ram with rocket]
Hans Gruber: [in radio to bad guys] Hit it… again.
John McClane: [in radio to Hans] Hans you motherfucker, you made your point! Let them pull back!
Hans Gruber: [in radio to McClane] Thank you, Mr. Cowboy, I’ll take it under advisement.
[re=169249]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Joe also got Reid to pick up his dry cleaning.
I’m hoping it goes like this;
(Joe pops his head into the door)
Harry: “Joe! Hey! You got a cough there? Get yourself some brandy, knock that thing out. You need something to eat? Yeah? Ok. Just stay out there and keep a look out for awhile, will ya? We’ll call ya when we’re ready.”
(Joe leaves, closes door behind him)
(Harry turns to Luca Brasi)
Harry: “I don’t ever want to see that son of a bitch again, you hear me? Take care of that for me.”
The birds and the bees speech is always the most awkward ‘talk’. Hopefully Harry Reid can give a good one and Joe can finally learn how babies are made.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Lieberman sitting alone, hands tied behind chair, a single light above him. Reid strides in snaps on a pair of rubber gloves.
Reid: Iiiz eet safe?
Lieberman: [looks around unknowingly]
Reid: Vell? Vat ees it? [He looks at him] Iiiz eet safe?
Man, it’s like the Two Minute Hate in here.
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